But I Don't Want to be a Sensei!
by Sukki18
Summary: Uchiha Yanagi is very content with her life as a jounin of Konoha's Military Police Force, but then certain fuddy-duddies in charge get the idea to make her a jounin sensei; specifically that of Team 7. Suddenly Yanagi's relatively peaceful life is turned upside down. Now she's having to teach three brats the ninja way... or are they teaching her? Non-Mass *Officially a Crack Story
1. Of Arrogant Uncles and Annoying Brothers

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

I should be working on an essay... but I'm not! (￣～￣)

This chapter will be a little different because technically I wrote it first (okay, well I had it half done when I decided to scrap the prologue and write it again). There's a time skip so this chapter starts off at the beginning of Naruto (about four years since the prologue)

That in mind, remember that four years can change a person. I'm not accidentally turning my OC into someone completely different from the prologue, everything is intentional. But more on that later.

**This is only because FLPOLE01 has been hounding me about another update and I feel like I should give him a bone to gnaw on… THIS ONLY HAPPENS ONCE FLPOLE01! *makes 'I'm watching you' signs***

**vvv**

_Broken Promises_

_do not Comfort_

_Drifting Souls_

**vvv Sasuke vvv**

"I'm home!" Sasuke called out as he shut the front door behind him, he frowned when no one answered. He was already disappointed that no one had come to the Academy to see congratulate him for becoming a genin, especially after Itachi-nii had _promised_ he would try to come. Sasuke understood that his brother could be called off on a mission at the drop of the hat, but this was ridiculous! This was the twenty-third time Itachi-nii had broken a promise this _month_ alone.

Sighing the newly made genin dropped his book bag, a hand-me-down that Itachi-nii had used when he was in the academy, by the door and kicked off his sandals. Kaa-chan would probably kill him for not putting them away properly; but at the moment Sasuke was feeling awfully spiteful. He remembered what a big deal his parents made when _Itachi_ graduated at seven, but they didn't even bother to show up for Sasuke. And here he thought that they had all moved past that year when Tou-san had been playing favorites with his sons.

"Welcome home, Sasuke-kun!" Someone called as he sulked past the kitchen entrance. The twelve year old yelped in surprise and backtracked to see his family sitting at the low kitchen table. A feast laid out before them, still warm if the steam was anything to go by. The youngest Uchiha blinked at the feast then at each of member of his family. Mikoto was smiling like she always did, her eyes closed as she beamed with happiness. She was always the kindest of the lot and genuinely seemed to care for both her sons with equal amounts of love.

Itachi-nii sat beside her, his smile less bright but it was _there_. Sasuke hadn't seen his brother smiling like that in a long time, not since Sasuke joined the Academy at the very least; Itachi always looked so sad and distant that Sasuke was honestly surprised his big brother even remembered _how to_ smile. To Itachi's right, at the head of the table, sat Fugaku who looked as grumpy as he always did; but he seemed to be emitting an aura of smugness and pride nonetheless.

Itachi's smile widened a little, "Well? Are you going to stand there or are you going to celebrate with us?" It sounded odd hearing Itachi amused. For so long he had spoke in a neutral tone with passive expressions. It was almost like someone had taken Itachi out of his own body and stuffed someone else in.

Sasuke blinked again, dumbly. Then he frowned, "Aniki, you promised." Sasuke realized he sounded like a spoiled brat, but given the many broken promises he figured he was entitled to a little pouting. Not that he would call it pouting of course.

Itachi's excuse was, "I know. I'm sorry, Sasuke, but the Hokage needed me for something." It was a pretty damn good one too and one that Sasuke couldn't argue with; but it still irritated Sasuke because Itachi used that excuse _every time_.

Before either boys could say another word, Mikoto stepped forward. "Come now, boys, don't argue." She reprimanded gently. Sasuke was about to say that they weren't arguing, but Itachi dipped his head in an apology before Sasuke could speak. Nii-san always did that, he just went along with whatever their parents said. It was extremely frustrating to Sasuke; he had only seen Itachi lose his temper once about five years ago, but of course he apologized almost immediately afterward.

With a petulant expression on his face, Sasuke sat down across from Itachi; but in reality he was beyond ecstatic. It was a rare occurrence that their whole family could sit down as a whole since most of the time Tou-san or Itachi-nii were gone on patrols and missions leaving Sasuke to spend the night alone with only his mother for company. And beginning tomorrow Sasuke would join his older brother and father and abandon his poor mother to a lonely house.

Most of the meal was spent in silence, with only the quiet noise of people eating to fill the void. When it was just Mikoto and Sasuke, Kaa-chan always had a few things to say, whether it was just chores Sasuke needed to do before bed or the latest comments from Aunt Uruchi about Baby Uchiha Something-or-other. With Tou-san present though, no one spoke and the air was thick with an underlying tension that Sasuke could never explain.

It wasn't until Mikoto had cleared away most of the dishes, with Itachi's help, that Fugaku spoke, "I expect you to make the clan proud, Sasuke."

Sasuke couldn't help but stare at his old man for a moment, normally that was only said to Itachi, before smiling a little and dipping his head in acknowledgment.

Aniki rejoined Sasuke and their father at the table and Sasuke perked up, "Nii-san! Since you're free tonight can we train?" Sasuke was only assuming Itachi was free, since it was rare that he be at home unless it was his off day.

Itachi's face remained as impassive as it always did, but Sasuke knew his older brother enough to know what was coming. Really he would be surprised the day Itachi didn't say, "Forgive me Sasuke… I have a mission in an hour. Maybe next time."

Sasuke _was not_ pouting.

Their father seemed interested at that, "Another mission so soon?" He inquired. Inwardly Sasuke was jealous of Itachi. Never in a million years would Fugaku look at _him_ with that level of interest. All he got was 'make the clan proud'. It was basically a threat.

"Classified" Came Itachi's bland automatic response. His missions were _always_ classified. There was no change in either his father or Aniki's posture, but the air rapidly became more and more tense. It never failed, sooner or later Itachi and Fugaku would butt heads whenever they were in the same room.

Sasuke jumped in before they could really start, "Then how about tomorrow? After I meet with my team, will you train me then?" He felt like a clingy brat begging for attention, but really he loved his big brother and wanted to spend a lot of time with him. He still remembered those old days when Itachi made excuses to their mother _to play with_ Sasuke instead of making excuses of why he couldn't. How Sasuke wished he could return to those days.

Something small flicked him in the forehead and Sasuke glared at his nii-san as he raised a hand to rub at the red spot. Itachi _always_ did that and Sasuke never could figure out why. "I'll still be on my mission then, Sasuke. The day after tomorrow, I promise."

Sasuke knew that Itachi would probably break his promise _again_ but that didn't stop him from grinning like a lunatic.

**vvv Nozomi vvv**

"Come _on!_ You said-" I started but Shisui-senpai cut me off before I could tear into him about breaking promises. Again.

"I said for the next target. This one is a potential new member." Shisui-senpai stated firmly in that stupid bland voice of his. The hidden message was 'this one is too strong for you' but I got it loud and clear.

Instead of trying to argue with him, because arguing with Shisui-senpai when he put his foot down was stupid and foolish, I turned to the tallest of the group and flashed him my best puppy eyes, "Kisame-senpaiiiiii..."

For the very first time, Kisame-senpai actually shook his head to my puppy eyes, "No, Nusume-osanai. I agree with Shisui on this." I drooped at that, defeated. Once Kisame joined a side when Shisui and I butted heads, there was no persuading him over.

I glanced at the fourth and final person in our group but shrugged off that possibility as soon as I thought it. Sasori-san wouldn't lift a finger to help me unless it benefited him and his art in some way. Though I got along with Sasori-san third best out of the Akatsuki– mostly because Kakuzu hated my guts, Zetsu freaked me out beyond belief, and I never saw the Leader-sama or his Angel– I was still only 'Shisui's responsibility' to Sasori.

In fact all of the Akatsuki, even Kisame-senpai, held me in the same regard. Leader-sama had once flat out told Shisui that I was _his_ responsibility since he was the one who took me off the streets. I was Shisui's to raise, train, order around, and– if he felt like I no longer served my purpose– to kill. Kisame-senpai, being Shisui's partner, did have a hand in my training but not as much as Shisui-senpai. Everything I was, it was because of Shisui-senpai. If not for him I would have probably died in some Yūgakure ditch long ago.

So it burned me inside out when Shisui denied letting me prove my worth to him. I lived to serve Shisui-senpai, and here he was denying me my right as his loyal subordinate. I gave Shisui-senpai a glare worthy of Kakuzu, who had the best glares ever, and crossed my arms with a pout, "You never let me do anything." I whined; it was my way of saying 'fine you win'.

Shisui said nothing else, shocker there, as he turned and left the hotel room he had practically shoved me into before ordering me to stay while he and the others went after this nuke-nin. Sasori didn't even glance at me as he followed Shisui-senpai out of the room, not that I expected him to. Kisame at least gave me an apologetic smile before following his partner. Traitor.

I waited until I couldn't feel their _impressively large, I'll-never-reach-that-level_ chakra signatures anymore before bolting for the door. I would have gone out the window, if the room I was in _had_ a window. Shisui-senpai, the textbook case of a paranoid shinobi, never slept in a room with a window. When I was younger I had been confused because _window equals another escape_ in my mind; but Kisame-senpai was a dear and explained that most high level nuke-nin felt more exposed since they lived their lives always looking over their shoulders. It made sense… I guess.

But that wasn't important, what was important that I had a couple hours of free time without Shisui-senpai beating 'proper etiquette' into my head every second of the day. That meant one thing to me.

'Collecting' things I wanted.

Try as he might, Shisui-senpai had yet to cure me of my kleptomania in the four years I had known him. I always told myself that I would raise above my days as a common street rat but the habit of acquiring things I wanted through very simple means of thievery was just too appealing to stop. It wasn't like the Akatsuki was a moral organization anyway; compared to what some of the members did my thieving was child's play.

Quietly I slipped through the door of our room and set a trap for anyone who entered the room. I planned to be back before Shisui-senpai and the others got back with the new member so anyone trying to enter the room was a trespasser and therefore dead. One does not simply walk into a room leased to three S-class criminals (plus one mediocre student) and expect to live, even if no one is there. There were three things Sasori taught me: setting nasty traps, poison, and chakra strings. Two of the three worked in my favor when it came to stealing, but they also took the fun out of it. It was so easy to just stand on a street corner and sneak a chakra sting into anyone's pocket to take what I want; but there was nothing that compared to stealing things right under someone's nose. I had been a master of the skill before I met Shisui-senpai, and with training from various world class shinobi I was nearly unstoppable.

However there were a few mishaps every now and then. Say for instance when the person I stole from happened to be a kunoichi herself, working undercover as some snotty stuck-up merchant woman.

"I-I'm sorry, Onee-san! I don't mean no harm! My fam'y is starvin' an' I ain't got 'nough Yen to feed them, I don't!" I stuttered, picking up the thick accent that the farmers in the region used. Shisui-senpai had spent two years teaching me nothing but espionage; I knew almost all the accents, mannerisms, and customs throughout the Five Nations and their border nations, save the far backwater places that were rarely visited.

The kunoichi narrowed her eyes, but still maintained her merchant woman persona, "Filthy wretch!" She slapped me, and I had no doubt that she enjoyed it too. I had blown her cover and tipped off her targets, the two small time nuke-nin that were now heading our way. I eyed the pair as they closed in, paying extra close attention to the Bo staff the taller male had strapped across his back. He might be a little harder to handle than his partner, who only wore a tantō on his back. I knew from Shisui that that meant the tantō wielder was a mid to close range fighter, easy to take down once I got free of the kunoichi.

That however was the problem, she was holding onto me as if she intended to use me as a meat shield when the nuke-nin finally attacked. I was guessing she was from Kiri or maybe Iwa then; their shinobi were more apt to sacrifice someone than the other Hidden Villages. Of course she could also be a nuke-nin herself and looking to take in a bounty like Kakuzu did, but if that were true then this woman obviously had recently defected because she still had that 'aura' of being a village stooge.

The nuke-nin pair were only a few feet from us when the kunoichi really blew her cover and actually called out, "Stop! You are both under arrest for crimes against Kirigakure and the Mizukage!" I almost sighed in exasperation. First rule of espionage: never drop your cover, even when your target is dead certain that you're not who you say you are. This kunoichi was obviously on her first solo assignment, no veteran would ever be this dumb. Even the nuke-nin stopped to stare at her in bewilderment, at least they knew the rules.

I shrieked and struggled with renewed vigor, "Ninja! Ninja! Lemme go, I don't want nothin' to do wif ya! Imma just a poor farm girl, I ain't done nothin' wrong!" Throw panic in the mix and we have a nice commotion from the bystanders, chaos to confuse the kunoichi and allow for my escape. I could slip away easily and leave the idiot kunoichi to her two nuke-nin. Besides I have more things to steal, like the pretty hair ornament in the kunoichi's aqua hair I had been caught trying to steal.

Quick as a flash, I reached up and snatched the hair pin before expertly twisting out of the woman's grip and fleeing into the surging masses of panicked civilians. To everyone I was the poor little farm girl caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Shisui-senpai always taught me that when you chose a cover you stick to it, even if your enemies were pulling your teeth out and sticking the red end of a poker to your skin.

The kunoichi's screams for mercy were really pathetic, especially for a Bloody Mist ninja. But hey, it was a nice distraction that made my job even easier.

vvv

Some hours later I was back safely in the confines of the hotel room sorting through my loot. Most of the time I went after things I wanted, pretty feminine things and shiny weapons mostly, but every once in a while I liked to just reach into someone's pocket and snatch the first thing I touched. It was always amusing and slightly horrifying of the things I found. My favorite to date was the bound stack of 'sex trophies' I pilfered from a conceited nobleman. I had laughed myself silly when I saw them and, in a fit of mischief, had hidden them around all the hideouts Shisui, Kisame and I visited that month. So far only forty out of fifty-eight had been found; and according to Shisui-senpai, Leader-sama was not pleased _at all_.

Unfortunately none of my pilfered treasures were quite so scandalous this time, though I did find a hit list and a folded note from some harlot providing substantial proof that her son was the child of Lord Okamoto; whom happened to be the brother-in-law of the daimyo in the Land of Frost. That slice of information would please Sasori-san, if he didn't know it already. And the hit list could go to Kakuzu, who was always on the look out for more bounties. I was in desperate need to buy into Kakuzu's good gracious again, that last incident with the bag of Yen had nearly gotten me killed.

I finished sorting through my surprise treasures and was moving on to folding and putting away my new kimonos when Shisui-senpai and entourage walked in. I didn't reacted to their presence. Having been caught enough times with things I didn't own legally, I no longer responded to Shisui-senpai's quiet sigh of disappointment or Kisame's 'tsk'. Honestly, I think I'd give them a heart attack if I _didn't_ shoplift while they were out. Or at least make them wonder who the hell was the imposter.

I held up my new sleeveless beige kimono to inspect it. The material was very durable and surprisingly comfortable– most likely it was a tunic meant for a farmer; but with the right obi and sash I could make it work as a short dress. Maybe some dark skin-tight pants to give it more class, and to keep Shisui-senpai off my back about propriety. I laid it aside and continued sifting through the pile of kimonos.

"Nozomi." In that one word I knew that Shisui-senpai was irritated. I had learned quickly that the only way you could tell how Shisui was feeling was how he said someone's name, and even then you had to pay careful attention because it was always very subtle. The slight emphasis on the '_mi_' syllable meant that Shisui was at the end of his rope and ready to murder someone. Not that he would, my senpai was a very controlled man and rarely lost his temper.

I finished folding the kimono I was holding, a small revenge for not taking me along, and looked over my shoulder at the men, "Give me a minute to store these away." I quipped and quickly did as I promised. With Sasori-san in the mix, my lease for stalling time was cut to almost nil and I knew better than to try the puppet master's patience. I shoved my beige kimono in my shoulder bag along with a pale blue obi and red sash, intending to wear it later, and stored the rest into the storage scrolls I always carried with me. When you're a kleptomaniac, you learned quickly to bring along storage scrolls or suffer carrying all your stuff yourself.

"So where's the newbie?" I asked as I placed the scrolls in my bag with gentle care. These things carried precious treasures, I had just gotten my new stuff and I didn't want them ruined so soon.

When no one answered me I looked at the group with a raised eyebrow. That was when I noticed the fourth person standing slightly behind Sasori. Her long blinding yellow hair was tied back at the base of her neck with a long fringe sweeping over her Iwa headband and covering her left slate blue eye. She was rather pretty, I would admit, but that drab green kimono shirt she had on was _hideous_, it clashed so horribly with her hair and eyes.

"You obviously need fashion pointers." I concluded as I turned away to finish putting away my new things.

There was a beat of silence broken only by Kisame's smothered snort of amusement before the new girl spoke, "…What?" Her voice was surprisingly deep, at least for a female. She must have had a throat injury some time in her life, that or she had inhaled too much smoke from a fire. Though the latter was unlikely as she didn't have that raspy quality in her voice that indicated as such.

I gave her another scrutinizing look, "That shirt with your hair is a nightmare. People with bright hair colors shouldn't wear dull things; and while the green was a good choice of color it needs to be much brighter to mute the boldness of your hair." I eyed her low tail with disdain and added, "Also that hairstyle… it's too plain. With hair like yours, you could really pull off a lot of intricate hairstyles. I think you'd look great with twin tails or maybe have your hair swept to one side. That low tail just makes you look too masculine."

The new girl inhaled sharply, her nostrils widening very unpleasantly, "You think I'm a girl?!" She– well _he_ apparently, growled.

I kept my face carefully blank and pushed down the urge to blush at my blunder. Though, honestly it wasn't _my_ fault, this male looked so much like a girl it was kind of inevitable to make the mistake. I blamed my three traveling companions for not telling me what gender the new member was. I cast a critical eye over the boy, trying to find anything that would discern him from being a women. Other than the flat chest, there was nothing really.

"Well you still have horrible taste in clothing and you need a haircut then." I said casually.

The new member snarled and reached into the overly large pouch belted around his waist. Shisui-senpai's hand snapped out to grab the boy's wrist in a tight grip. There was a tense moment of silence before Shisui-senpai yanked the boy's hand out of the pouch with a force that popped the younger male's shoulder. Being a shinobi, the boy didn't outright react to the sudden injury, but a muscle in his cheek did jump.

Meanwhile, Kisame and Sasori eyed the new member, ready to leap into action if Shisui didn't. I would love to say that their actions were out of concern for my well being, and Shisui's probably was, but I knew that Kisame and Sasori were probably looking for a fight. Both of them were the two most blood-thirsty members of the Akatsuki; though Sasori-san was more of a sadist than an outright monster like Kisame-senpai.

Shisui-senpai stared impassively at the blonde youth until he was squirming before speaking, "You will not harm her." That was it. There was no promise of retribution or threat of any kind, and there didn't need to be. When Shisui said something, it had better be followed through or the consequence was so unimaginably horrific that that simple words couldn't do it justice. Shisui was from the Uchiha clan, one of the few clans internationally known and feared; and it was said that he had been the most powerful member before he defected from Konohagakure. He was an S-class ninja for a reason and I wasn't going to be the fool to doubt him.

The new member yanked his arm away and pouted. Actually _pouted_. I would expect such behavior from a genin or some no class chūnin, but from an S-class nuke-nin? Either Iwagakure was lowering their standards on the requirements for S-class or this act was just to lower people's guards. With his age I would guess the former; but the Akatsuki didn't let just any immature nuke-nin into their organization, no matter how powerful, so that probably meant he was a prodigy with an excellent cover. My lips twitched up in a classic 'Kisame smirk'. A puzzle then, how I loved puzzles!

"What's your problem, un?" The boy snapped when he noticed me staring.

"I hate not knowing things, so I will enjoy unlocking your secrets, nuke-nin-san." I said happily and got the strangest look from the newest member but I disregarded it. No one had ever said that those raised by S-classed criminals were sane.

**vvv Itachi vvv**

"…that's when we found out the whole point of the test was teamwork! It was kinda dumb that way, but anyway-"

Itachi abruptly cut off his brother's teammate, "Why do you say that?" When he had come to pick up Sasuke for dinner, Itachi had extended an offer of a meal with the Uchiha family to Sasuke's two teammates. He could already tell that the new Team 7 was going to learn the hard way how to be a team and so it would be best for them to start teamwork early.

Naruto-kun made a very inappropriate noise, "Because, why do I wanna work with _him?!_" At that, the blonde child sent a dark look to Sasuke, who returned it with equal fervor.

Itachi casually swatted Sasuke upside the head and shot him a disapproving look. If Kaa-san ever found out that Sasuke was being rude to Kushina-san's child without due reason, their mother would have his head. Of course, Sasuke didn't know that, but it was still good practice to be polite even under the most revolting of circumstances.

When Naruto laughed at Sasuke for the silent reprimand, Itachi gave the same regard to the blonde jinchūriki. "You shouldn't so readily dismiss a comrade, Naruto-kun." Itachi chided patiently. Naruto gave the older Uchiha the stink eye and crossed his arms in a pout, but inwardly he was ecstatic that the teen treated him as equally as he did his brother, and not like a pest the way some people did.

"Nii-san," Sasuke interjected before Naruto could continue stealing his brother's attention, "when are we going to train? You promised you would!" Sasuke had been elated, on the inside, when Itachi showed up at Training Ground 3 after Team 7 completed their second genin exam. He could hardly believe that Itachi-nii had actually kept his promise for once, but now his stupid teammates were ruining it!

Itachi's expression didn't change from his default neutral, but there was something about his eyes that made the Uchiha heir look amused, "Now that you're on a team, I thought it'd be best to train all three of you together." It was for the best too, Itachi knew that Kakashi-taichō wouldn't bother teaching his genin team as much as the other jounin sensei. Which was why Itachi had offered his former ANBU Captain to help train his trio of genin, whom readily took him up on his offer.

"_What?!"_

"Yatta! You'd do that?! You're the best, Itachi-nii-san!"

"Um… but what about our sensei?"

Itachi chose to respond to Sasuke first. He leveled his best imitation of Mikoto's disappointed look at his younger brother, "You're on a team, Sasuke, a family. You can't keep hogging my attention for yourself." Sasuke at least had the decency to look abashed, if only a little. "As for you're question, Haruno-chan, Kakashi-san is often busy in the mornings, I offered to train you until then." A flat out lie, but Itachi honestly didn't think that any of Team 7 had the patience to wait three to eight hours ever morning for the rest of their genin career.

"Now come," Itachi continued before the genin could speak again, "Kaa-san has invited Team 7 to dinner, and it's best not to keep her waiting." The way Naruto's face lit up in sheer joy was a little heartbreaking, but it made Mikoto's offer so much more appreciable that not even Sakura or Sasuke protested to having spend another minute around the loudmouth blonde.

**vvv Nozomi vvv**

"Shisui-senpai? Can you come here, please?" I called from behind the changing screen. Try as I might, I was hopeless when it came to fixing my hair. It was a little embarrassing with the amount of time I spent obsessing over my appearance, that I couldn't even put my hair up in a ponytail without having a stupid 'fin' somewhere. I always envied kunoichi who could twist their hair into the most complex hairstyles so easily they did it on the run.

My senpai tapped softly against the screen's frame before slipping around it. I smiled up at him and held up the ends of my wispy silver locks, "Help?" I asked sweetly and gave the twenty-one year old my best puppy eyes.

Without even a sigh of exasperation, Shisui motioned to me to turn around and face the full length mirror. I did so happily and closed my eyes to the feel of Shisui running his fingers through my long hair, "What style do you wish?" He asked in that delicious low tone of his. I loved the way Shisui-senpai talked; with his perfect speech and smooth baritone it wasn't difficult to be mesmerized by his voice alone. Even Leader-sama appreciated Shisui's silver tongue and diplomacy, since he was always sending Shisui on member recruiting missions. It was so unfortunate that Shisui-senpai believed small talk was a waste of time and breath. I would pay anything to hear his rich voice more.

"Hm, well I have to infiltrate a sadō and my Target supposedly likes mature women, so something chic and mature. Oh!" I startled, remembering something, and reached out for the makeup bag I kept on me at all times. Unfortunately my movements were roughly halted when I felt a painful tug on my hair. Apparently Shisui-senpai hadn't let my poor hair go.

This time he did sigh at my actions and reached around me to hand the bag to me, "Stay still." He ordered.

I pouted at him in the mirror and dug blindly in the make up bag until I unearthed a case that held all my hair dyes. A few years ago Sasori-san accidentally made a powder that, when added to water, made a temporary hair dye that didn't ruin the hair follicles. The dyes were perfect for me, since my white hair could be blended perfectly into any color. That combined with Sasori's poisons and Shisui's lessons on espionage, made me into the perfect spy and assassin.

Setting the case down on my lap I flicked open the little latch and pushed the lid up, "Here," I said handing Shisui a navy blue pouch, "this is the dye I need. Can you do it? I always miss my lower layers." Which was untrue, but I still preferred Shisui to do it as he was my senpai. Senpai looked out for their kohai, that was the unspoken agreement between anyone who had a senpai/kohai relationship. Even if they were an Akatsuki member and one misplaced orphan from Yūgakure.

Besides, Shisui had the gentlest hands in the universe. No matter how tangled my hair became, I never felt a sharp tug when I had Shisui-senpai brush it out.

**vvv Itachi vvv**

ANBU Operative Weasel scanned the chattering nobles passively from the alcove designed specifically for hidden bodyguards. His client tittered with another girl from behind their ornamental fans so that only their dewy, kohl-lined eyes were visible above the fan's beaded arc. The ANBU captain's eyes darted to each shadowed corners of the room, taking in a headcount of his team. All were still in place, crouched and ready to spring into action if the tagged assassins made a move towards the noblewoman they guarded. Three of the seven known assassins were already apprehended and disposed of.

If Weasel was honest with himself, he would say that this mission did not qualify to be classified as an S-rank, he had no doubt that even a team of chūnin could handle the mission just fine. They wouldn't complete it with the finesse of an ANBU team, and they might blow their cover a few times, but they'd still get the job done. But if the Hokage had assigned the mission to one of his ANBU squads that meant there was something else at play than just guarding a vain noblewoman. The assassins were supposedly associated with a nuke-nin wanted for sabotage; the ANBU Squad were tasked with bringing in at least two of the men for questioning about their boss's whereabouts.

As Weasel checked on the remaining assassins, he spotted a young girl, no older than himself, stumbling over her long kimono skirt and accidentally knocking over one of the low tables, which in turn catapulted the teapot into the air. All attention turned towards the airborne teapot and no one noticed the girl palming a few priceless items just before the pot crashed into her chest and sent hot tea down the front of her kimono. The girl aptly shrieked in surprise and pain as she tried to clean the liquid off her clothes with a heavily embroidered silk handkerchief. Weasel raised an eyebrow at the scene, had he not noticed the girl stealing he would have written her off as a clumsy oaf. Even now, as the nobles crowded around the poor girl to ensure that she was okay and to scold her for being clumsy, Weasel wondered if he had imagined her tucking a pouch into her kimono.

The ANBU Captain shunshined to the rafters above the commotion to get a better look. Now that he was a few scant feet above the pickpocket he noticed that the ruby necklace handing from her neck actually belonged to his client, and the pearl hairpin that held her immaculate navy blue hair in place used to pin back a redhead's hair. The ANBU captain looked for the redhead, and found that her hair was up in the same bun it had been, only instead of the priceless pearl hairpin, it was a silver-painted chopstick with a fake pearl glued to the tip. To someone who didn't pay attention to details, the chopstick looked like the original hairpin, likely not even the redhead knew the difference.

The real question was: how on earth did the pickpocket manage to make the hairpin trade, steal his client's necklace, _and_ steal from the table she had just visited all without raising even the slightest iota of suspicion? Weasel looked for the navy haired girl again and found her accidentally bumping into a rotund nobleman and knocking his sake over onto the pretty blonde hanging from his arm. The girl apologized profusely and continued on her way, as if she were still trying to escape her embarrassment with the teapot. Only Weasel noticed that her right hand now held a wallet made of embroidered silk, which she quickly tucked into her voluminous kimono sleeve.

A quiet swish of a body flicker jutsu informed ANBU Weasel of another shinobi's arrival, "Captain?" ANBU Frog whispered. Weasel glanced at Frog from behind his mask, but otherwise made no sign that he acknowledged the operative's presence.

"Navy hair, green kimono– ivy embroidery. Who is she?" Weasel asked.

Frog eyed the girl in question as she joined the group of nobles form the Hamaguchi family, taking in her appearance, before disappeared quickly. The operative returned with the list of guests, procured silently from the guards standing at the doorway leading into the large room. "Konomi, new concubine to the second son of Lord Hamaguchi." As if to prove a point, the second son put his arm around the pickpocket's waist and leaned down to whisper in her ear. She giggled.

Weasel narrowed his eyes at the young girl and wondered if she were an untagged assassin, as unlikely as it was. An assassin would not blow their cover so naively to steal baubles. Maybe she was a mercenary working undercover for someone else. The girl couldn't be just a concubine; while petty thievery was not above the nobility, especially not a concubine, none were so skilled in the art as that girl. Weasel watched as she played the perfect awkward concubine at her first noble event, working the room with an air of arrogance and conceit, all the while robbing the lords and ladies blind in the process. And while the secret spectacle was amusing, Weasel eventually returned to his post after the next assassin tried to make a move on his client.

The next day, the entire Hamaguchi household was dead from an unknown plant-based poison and the concubine was gone as if she never existed.

^o^

Ta-da! Next chapter and boy is it filled with some interesting developments! I could have written more, but I felt like this was a good ending for the second chapter, a nice almost cliffhanger for ya, cuz my loyal readers know how much I love cliffhangers! ^^ Sorry for jumping around with all the changing POVs, but it's the only way I can show what's happening at two places. *squee* Big Brother Itachi is so cute! Imma gonna enjoy all the times he has with Team 7!

I kinda feel bad for not giving Shisui many speaking parts, but I just feel that the Akatsuki!Shisui is a very quiet version of his canon self. We've already established that he's a lot more serious than Canon Shisui, but I'll try to give him more dialogue in the future. Just don't kill me if I don't, it's really hard trying to come up with realistic situations where he'd actually talk quite a bit, at least for a little while.

_As for Shisui's Mangekyu: No one in the Akatsuki knows he has it, least of all Kotoamatsukami. Everyone just thinks he's got a silver tongue as Nozomi described. They think he can convince anyone into joining when actually he's just using his Mangekyu._

**Ages as of the end of this chapter: Team 7 (12), Deidara (16), Nozomi (17), Itachi (18), Shisui (21), and Kisame (29)**

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	2. Last Day of Freedom

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Now how about that?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! Someone likes my story! *does happy dance*

Thanks to Ninja from Yesterday for reviews. Thanks to bacon of doom, Ninja from Yesterday, dbzamywinxchic, Skyea, ArtemisKirara7, wwsa1995 for favorites.

BTW Ages for Part One are: Yanagi (21), Rookie 9 (12), Fugaku (47), Mikoto (42), Itachi (18), Shisui (23), Denryoku (25), Ibo (20), Iruka (23), Jounin Elite [Kakashi, Obito, Asuma...] (27)... etc. etc.

**Hey hey! Yeah you! You with the face! SPREAD THE WORD! Narutopedia is hosting their own Community Choice Awards, so go vote! Go to the Naruto Wiki homepage and you'll see a banner at the top talking about it! LET'S CELEBRATE THE ENDING OF THE MOST GLORIOUS ANIME!**

vvv

"There's that kid... You know I heard he's the only one who failed."

"Hmph, serves him right."

"Can you imagine what would happen if _he _became an ninja?"

I opened my eyes as my ears picked up on the conversation among the happy parents celebrating their brats' graduation. Turning my head slightly to the left and looking down, I could see the object of the women's conversation straddling the swing hanging from the tree I was lounging in. I felt no pity for him. I had chased after the yellow haired menace too many times for disruption of the peace and defacing public property; since part of the Konoha Police Force's job was to watch over the brat and make sure nothing befell him as well as keep him from pranking.

The little fox brat always managed slipped past the Police Force squads and caused a ruckus anyway.

I glanced over my shoulder at my teammate sitting in the same tree I was. Ibo was watching the gossiping peahens with fierce intensity. Should either of the women make a threatening move towards Naruto, the white haired Uchiha would step in and 'dissuade' them from continuing their attack. Ibo glanced at me when he felt my gaze. I wordlessly lifted my hand and made a series of quick one handed signs. Ibo nodded silently and repeated the hand gestures to our other teammate who was on the ground, leaning in the shade of the Academy building.

Ibo and I watched as Denryoku waded into the crowd of proud brats and mushy parents, his dark eyes on the two women. All conversation dwindled away as everyone watched the imposing man stalk towards the bimbos. Both women snapped their attention around to the Uchiha, but I was too far away to see their expression. Denryoku gave the two a polite smile and nod as he passed by them without a word, continuing down the street like he was going on patrol and nothing more. When he was gone, the woman bent closer together to whisper, eyes darting for any more signs of the police. I grinned a little to myself, nothing like reminding two idiots that the Konoha Police Force was always monitoring Naruto and any hint of revealing the secret about him.

I stood and stretched my arms above my head, using chakra to keep me balanced on the slim tree branch, "Come on, Ibo, our work is finished." I said dully.

My more silent teammate shot me a glance as he too stood up. In a quick succession of hand signals, my teammate informed me that we weren't off duty yet. I rolled my eyes and pointed downwards, where the swing Naruto had been sitting on swung back and forth wildly. The kid had gone off with one of his teachers, he was safe and we didn't have to worry any more. Ibo still looked skeptical, but followed me nonetheless. I was captain of the squad for a reason.

And it wasn't just because I was the only one who knew how to do paperwork correctly.

Denryoku was flirting with a small crowd of girls when we walked up on him. I rolled my eyes. Like all Uchiha men, Denryoku had a fanclub. The only problem was, unlike most Uchiha, Denryoku adored his fans almost as much as they adored him.

"Enjoying yourself?" I asked as Ibo and I walked up on our teammate. A few of his fangirls squealed when they saw Ibo standing beside me, but he ignored them.

Denryoku gave me a cocky grin, his arms wrapped around the shoulders of two chesty and scantly clad women, "You know you want some of me too, Yanagi!"

I stared at him expressionlessly.

The flirty Uchiha stared back for a minute before hanging his head in defeat and cursing, "Damn it, Yanagi! Why do you have to be so intimidating?!" He growled as he stepped away from the sluts and crossed his arms with a pout.

I grinned briefly before letting my face fall back into neutral, "It's a gift. Now we have to report, say goodbye to your girlfriends and hurry up." I said and started to turn away, but Ibo grabbed my arm. Silently he pointed back towards the Academy. I followed his finger then groaned when I saw Fugaku-sama making his way towards us. Denryoku immediately leapt to our side when he saw our clan leader, scrubbing at his lipstick stained cheeks with the cuff of his sleeve. Fugaku was a bit of a prude and he thought that Uchiha shouldn't degrade themselves with vulgar behavior.

It was a wonder how he managed to Mikoto-oba pregnant twice.

The three of us bowed when Fugaku-sama stopped in front of us, though I didn't bow nearly as low as Ibo or Denryoku. Behind Fugaku stood his family, complete with the newly made genin brat that I would have the pleasure of torturing tomorrow.

"Report." Fugaku said, crossing his arms with a stern look he always wore when dealing with the Konoha Police Force squads. I stayed silent as Denryoku informed the Konoha Police Force Commander of all that had transpired. I wasn't going to speak unless my clan leader addressed my directly. And even then I might only yell at him for making me become a sensei. I loved my patrol, it was probably the _only_ thing I enjoyed. And Fugaku-sama was taking that away all for the sake of his brat.

My eyes darted towards the duckass boy, he was talking amiably to his older brother about whatever brats like to talk about. Tomorrow he wouldn't be smiling, I was going to make his life a living hell. Maybe he would actually quit being a ninja. I'd get a kick out of seeing how his family reacted to that.

Sasuke must have felt my stare because he turned to me with questioning eyes. I held his gaze as my mouth tilted upwards into a sneer. I was starting to look forward to tomorrow and see how he reacted in knowing that I would be his sensei. I was even starting to hope that one of his more annoying fangirls got on the team, if only to torture Sasuke.

Things were starting to look up.

I was still smiling when Fugaku left my squad alone. Immediately after the Main Branch family left, Denryoku turned to me, "What sort of torture do you have planned for that poor kid?! You were practically scaring the shit out of Sasuke!" The loud mouth flirt exclaimed. Both my squad members knew of my involuntary retirement form the police force, they would be losing their captain after all. Even worse, while I was on my little quest to make the clan look good, Ibo and Denryoku would be on their own 'bring the Uchiha closer to the village' mission.

I wouldn't return to the police force since I would be a permanent sensei, then a team leader if the genin made chunnin by some miracle. So Fugaku had found a replacement to take over my position as captain. Normally it wouldn't be that bad, but the great clan leader in all his infinite glory had decided to pull another jerk move on my poor teammates.

They were getting an Hyuuga as a captain.

All in the name of peace between the Uchiha and Konohagakure, at least that was what Fugaku-sama said. For years only Uchiha were trained as Konoha's police; but that lead to suspicion that the police were being biased towards the Uchiha clan, so Fugaku began granting admission to any who could make the cut. As a result there was an influx of many non-Uchiha police officers, but none had ever been given the rank of captain.

Until now, apparently.

Denryoku sighed and stuck his lower lip out in a pout, "Why do you have to go? Why can't it be Ibo? He's no fun." Our silent teammate shot Denryoku a nasty look that was almost on par with mine, but as usual the abnormally white haired Uchiha said nothing.

I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands in my pockets, "Because then Ibo would have to actually talk. Besides, he hasn't activated the Sharingan, so he can't teach Sasuke. I have and I'm proficient with our Kekke Genkai, but I'm not powerful enough like Itachi-san or Shisui to matter if I become a jounin sensei."

"You know that question was rhetorical, right?" Denryoku asked drily, giving me a look out of the corner of his eye.

I only shrugged. Denryoku was famous for asking a question he wanted to know the answer to then claiming it was rhetorical. I suspected he did that to seem smarter, especially when the answer was obvious. "Come on, let's celebrate our last night together as a squad and go drinking." I said and threw my arms over my tall teammates shoulders. I was tall for a women, almost as tall as a man, and they were _still_ taller than me. It wasn't fair!

Ibo immediately shrugged my arm off and turned his head away from us. I'd bet a thousand ryo that the guy was blushing. Ibo was extremely shy, but he hid it underneath layers of neutral expressions and silence. It was one of the reasons why Fugaku paired Ibo with Denryoku and me, so that he would never have to speak and go outside of his comfort zone. Fugaku may be a grade-A jerk, but he stilled cared for his clan members.

Denryoku wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer, "Sure! I love it when you get drunk! You're not a surly woman then." He said cheerfully. I glared at him, contemplating whether that comment deserved setting Obito after my teammate or not. Denryoku seemed to catch on to what I was thinking, because he paled, "Not your brother..." He pleaded as he jerked his arm away from my waist.

I grinned. It was nice to know that my teammate feared my brother enough that he would do anything I said if only to avoid the overprotective Uchiha. "Don't worry, Denryoku, I'm sure Nii-san won't hurt you _too_ bad." I said teasingly. Denryoku was starting to look ill.

"You're terrible, Yanagi-san..." A soft barely audible voice said. Denryoku and I snapped our heads around to stare at Ibo, who was staring at his feet. Knowing the white haired Uchiha, he probably hadn't meant to say that out load. With shaking hands, Ibo quickly made the hand signals for an apology. Denryoku and I exchanged looks, our faces twisting up in amusement. When Fugaku had put the shy Uchiha on our squad after our last teammate retired, the clan leader had warned us about Ibo's habit to speak through jounin hand signals. We hadn't taken him seriously then.

After three years of being on the same squad, Ibo had spoken maybe fifteen words, including the four he had just said, and used hand signs the rest of the time. It was his way of speaking.

Denryoku pounced on Ibo, grabbing the younger Uchiha in a choke hold, "If you ever want to get a girl, you've gotta learn to talk to one, you know." The flirt said as he ruffled Ibo's white hair with his knuckles. Ibo just took the treatment without struggle.

I sighed, "You two are idiots. Come on, I want to drink. Maybe I'll get a hangover for tomorrow." I said dully as I started for the nearest bar.

Denryoku followed, Ibo still in his choke hold. "Fugaku-sama will kill you if you show up hungover tomorrow. We've all seen you the day after you're dead drunk, I can't think of anyone with a worse temper." He pointed out.

"Fine. I'll just get a little drunk." I compromised.

"Yeah right... someone is going to challenge you to a drinking game and you'll be stone drunk before you know it." Denryoku countered drily. I glared at Denryoku, who went white and ducked behind Ibo. I felt proud that I could scare one of the physically strongest Uchiha in the clan with only a glare. Ibo sighed at the both of us and shook his head, probably wondering for the millionth time why Fugaku-sama put him on Konoha Police Squad 18.

After flashing our ninja registration cards that showed we were all jounin at the bartender, Denryoku and I started our night getting drunk on sake. Ibo sat beside us, watching us out of the corner of his eye. Ibo never drank, having some medical condition that prevented him from partaking in the fun. Besides, we needed someone to make sure Denryoku and I didn't do something stupid.

Half the time we did something stupid anyway.

It took nearly two hours for Denryoku to get intoxicated, and soon after I joined him in that state of extreme happiness. I got a good laugh watching the older Uchiha flirt with anything that moved, even the bartender. I nearly fell off my stool at the expression of revulsion that the bartender sported when Denryoku asked him on a date.

"Well you seem to be enjoying yourself." A highly amused voice said behind me.

I turned around with a grin, " 'Kashi-nii-san! I didn't know you would be here, enjoying your last night of freedom too? Or did the Hokage finally learn his lesson and give up making you a jounin sensei?" I asked, my words only slightly slurred together.

The grey haired male blinked his visible eye, from amusement or confusion that I was actually being friendly, I didn't know. He nodded towards a booth set in the back, where most of the other Jounin Elite sat chatting. My brother wasn't there luckily, he'd kill me if he knew I was drunk. I swear that man treated me like a five year old. "We're enjoying the night too." Kakashi said mildly, not answer my question.

Denryoku turned around, his right eye twitching in annoyance, "Hey... cool guy. My girlfriend, so back _off._" The drunk Uchiha slurred. Ibo sighed and forcibly turned Denryoku back around, shooting an apologetic look at Kakashi.

Kakashi watched my two teammates for a moment before turning to me, his visible eye questioning. I shrugged as I knocked back another shot of sake, "He's talking crazy, I'd never date him." I dismissed the accusation easily.

My drunk teammate turned to me, rivers of tears running down his cheeks, "Bu-but... Yanagiii... you said you loved me!" I rolled my eyes at him as I laughed out right. Only in his dreams would I ever say that I loved Denryoku, other than a friend. The Uchiha wailed loudly and threw himself all over poor Ibo, who's expression screamed 'do not want'. I laughed at their faces.

The Hatake jounin scratched the back of his head nervously, "So this is why Uchiha never get drunk..." He said mostly to himself. I nodded happily, even though it wasn't a question. The Uchiha clan was so uptight that it had to take being stone drunk for them to relax.

I leaned closer to Kakashi as if to share a secret, "Hey... do you think that Ibo-kun would be talkative if we got him drunk?" I asked in a loud whisper. The white haired Uchiha shot me a dirty look as he struggled to push Denryoku off of him.

"Maybe. Let's not try it though. I think you should go home and rest up for tomorrow." Kakashi hedged.

My mood changed from happy to angry in .06 seconds. I glared at Kakashi, "Oh? Are you on 'Sister Duty'? Gotta make sure Obito's little sister behaves herself, huh? I'm a grown woman, Hatake Kakashi, I don't need you to tell me what to do!" Kakashi's hands went up in the air as he tried to defend himself. Outraged that he was lying, or so I thought in my hazy mind, I lashed out at him.

vvv

"Whoever invented hangovers should be dragged out in the street and made into a senbon pincushion." I growled as Kakashi and I stumbled into the Hokage's office the next morning. The man had to physically drag me out of bed and then threatened to take away my supply of candy if I didn't get dressed. Excuse me if I don't feel any sympathy towards the jerk.

My brother's best friend/rival sighed as he let me lean on him, "That's what you get," Kakashi grumbled. I wasn't very high on Kakashi's 'nice list' since I apparently had managed to land a punch to his face before he used his sharingan to knock me out. I don't remember ever doing anything of the sort, but everyone I asked confirmed that I had socked Kakashi in the jaw for what appeared to be nothing.

If I wasn't so proud that I landed a hit on the infamous Copy-nin, I would feel bad.

I glared at him, "Just for that I hope you get the Uzumaki brat." I growled testily. I almost felt sorry for the genin I would have to teach. Today they were going to face me at my worst, not even Obito dared to argue with me when I was hungover.

Before Kakashi could respond, the Third Hokage cleared his throat. Both of us turned to see the old man giving us a stern look, the rest of the jounin looking exasperated. Suddenly I realized how late the both of us were. I glared up at Kakashi, I could see that smirk through his face mask. Kakashi had gotten Obito's habit of showing up extremely late to anything. He _knew_ that being late was one of my biggest pet peeves, which meant the Copy-nin had done it on purpose.

"Remind me to murder you later on." I growled darkly as I stepped away from Kakashi, swaying on my feet. The jerk only gave me an eye smile, confirming that he had made me late on purpose. Though, after punching him last night, I suppose I deserved it.

Still didn't make me any less mad.

The Hokage started off with the spiel about how being a sensei was a big responsibility and that we were in charge of the next generation of shinobi, which then turned into a big motivational speech about the importance of genin. I sighed as I stuffed my hands into my pockets, if I thought Fugaku-sama was a long winded old fool, he had nothing on the Sandaime Hokage. Sometimes I wondered if Lord Hiruzen was Hokage because he was boring enough to talk his enemies to death.

I tucked my chin in and closed my eyes, half listening to the Hokage as he informed all the jounin present that we could use whatever teaching methods we wished, as long as it was ethical. I smirked at that. The Uchiha clan was famous for getting as close to unethical as we could and still not breaking the rules. Still, if Fugaku learned that I was torturing his duckass son, he'd kill me. Worse, Itachi-san would be after my blood as well. The whole clan knew how much Itachi loved his little brother. I really didn't need the Uchiha Prodigy and ANBU Black Ops captain out to kill me.

I'd have to keep my teachings ethical to all my students, or it would seem like I was playing favoritism towards Sasuke. And that was something I didn't want anyone accusing me of.

^o^

Yeah... so this chapter was going to be longer, but then it would have ended in a stupid spot, so I'm just going to shove the next part back a chapter... And these first two chapters were basically a prologue, the real stuff happens from the next chapter on. *evil giggle*

**~Never doubt the power of an extremely pissed off woman.**

...You know, I've gotta stop staying up til midnight on school nights... especially when I have an eight o'clock class...

Reviews are _**love!**_

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	3. Enter Team 7!

Disclaimer: ...*stares intently at you* Hey... come closer... closer... _cloooooooser~..._ I DON'T OWN NARUTO! lol

I've got nothing insane to say... strange right? Oh well, not like any of you weirdos read the 'before A/N' of the chapter begins anyway... at least you've never made any reference to them. *shrugs* Oh wait... new readers don't even know I'm insane! HA! XD I forgot about that. Get out while you still can, dearies! My insanity _sticks!_ (Okay maybe I shouldn't have had that last Hershey's Kiss...) Well what do you know?! I do have something insane to say! It's called a mild Fluff Master Moment! Just ask my good friend/adopted internet sister Hawk Sirius if you want to know what I mean... She's suffered through those moments many a times! *derp face* Anyway... ON WITH THE STORY! *strike dramatic pose with finger pointing towards the horizon with a sun set and everything* …Yeah... really shouldn't have had that last Hershey's Kiss... probably shouldn't have even had the first one... THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE PROPER ENGLISH! Hmmm... probably shouldn't have had the first one either... that sounds better!

Yeah so I found a translated version of Shisui's latest databook page... did you know he's ranked ANBU? I thought he was just a jounin! XD

_WOOOOOOO! Yesterday was my birthday (but since I update on Fridays, you get it now), and I have updated just for you! Help me celebrate my birthday by giving me a wonderful review as a birthday present! 19 baby! YEAH_

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"Morning Sasuke-kun... mind if I sit next to you?" A girlish voice said.

The Uchiha blinked and looked away from his conversation with his cousin, Netsui. His classmate Sakura stood at the end of the table, her hands clasped in front of her flat chest. Sasuke's right eye gave a miniscule twitch. He really didn't understand why all the fangirls flocked to him when they could easily chase after Netsui, who was easily more willing than Sasuke.

Netsui sighed and threaded his fingers behind his head. He didn't understand why Sasuke got all the fangirls. Even his twin sister Nerai was a stupid fangirl! Though, Netsui didn't want his own sister to be _his_ fangirl, that was just wrong. Still, it was unfair that the son of the Uchiha clan leader got all the girls and not one of the other boys got an admirer. Netsui watched with mild interest as the fangirls all got into a fight about who should get to sit next to Sasuke; even if Netsui would never know the bliss of girls fighting over him, it was still fun to watch.

Sasuke glanced back at his pouting cousin, fully intending to ignore his rowdy fangirls. They would all just stand there and argue until Iruka-sensei came in, there was no point in listening to the girls squabble about who came in first and got first dibs on the chair next to Sasuke.

"Aniki says they divide us into three man teams. Who do you think you'll get paired with?" Sasuke asked.

The brown haired Uchiha shrugged as his eyes lingered on the crowd of fangirls, "I don't know. Iruka-sensei probably has our teams already figured out. We can't help who we get paired up with. It could be a complete randomization..."

"Or it could be a complex system," Sasuke finished, "But if that's true, then how would they separate us?"

Netsui shrugged again. It was his nervous habit, every single time his mother yelled at him about something, he just started shrugging. Honestly, he couldn't name what was making him nervous at the moment. Netsui got along fine with Sasuke. They were friends, being the top two smartest students in the academy, plus the only two Uchiha in their class, not counting Netsui's boy crazed sister. "Possibly by age or personality. Skill would be kind of dumb, since the lowest of the class would be paired with each other and never get anything done." Netsui answered Sasuke's question.

Sasuke frowned, that made sense, but he felt that he was missing information. As an Uchiha, he didn't like not having all the facts. When he had asked his brother, all Itachi said was that he would be placed on a three man squad with a jounin sensei. Then there was yesterday...

Sasuke folded his hands in front of his mouth as he pondered his cousin's actions from yesterday. Yanagi-itoko had given him such an evil grin, it had almost given him chills. Almost. That police officer knew something about today, the way her eyes gleamed spoke as much. And it didn't bode well with Sasuke at all from the looks of it.

A foot landing on the desk in front of him startled Sasuke out of his thoughts. There was that dead last idiot, Naruto, squatting in front of Sasuke and glaring. Sasuke's eyes narrowed instantly. Normally he didn't care what the idiot did; and Sasuke was never impolite to Naruto or Mikoto would flay his hide. Still, there were certain boundaries that Naruto clearly didn't understand; and that was unforgivable.

"Naruto! Hey stop glaring at Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted.

Naruto looked around at Sakura confused. The blonde boy honestly didn't understand what Sakura saw in Sasuke. Sure, the midnight blue haired Uchiha wasn't as rude as some of the boys in their class, but he was still a prick to a degree. Naruto looked back at the impassive Uchiha in front of his face. Sasuke's eyes narrowed just a fraction of an inch, enough to be classified as a glare.

It went down hill from there...

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

I was the only one who burst out laughing when Naruto and Sasuke accidentally kissed. I could just see all the blackmail use I could get out of it. Those two would practically be my slaves, and then if some dimwitted girl should fall in love with those bozos, I was _so_ bringing this incident back up. I might even inform Sasuke's family just for the reactions I would get from Fugaku-sama and Itachi-san.

Maybe there was justice in the world.

The Hokage sighed, "As usual... Naruto is right in the middle of some kind of trouble." The old man commented when Sasuke's fangirls proceeded to beat Naruto within an inch of his life. Honestly I was still dying over the fact that my younger cousin's 'first kiss' was stolen by a rowdy boy, I really didn't care what a bunch of vain brats did to the Kyuubi kid.

Kakashi gave me a slightly annoyed look out of the corner of his eye and elbowed me in the side to get my attention. I bit down on my first knuckle to muffle the snickers still leaking out as the Hokage went on some long winded last minute detailing about some special team that Asuma was getting. It took the entirety of Hiruzen's speech, which was saying something, but I finally got my giggles under control.

Hiruzen-sama motioned to one of the shinobi officials sitting beside him. The nondescript person, seriously I couldn't even tell if it was female or male, passed out even _more_ packets to the jounin. The Lord Hokage explained as his assistant distributed the stacks of papers, "These are a basic outline of the students you will be assigned. It contains a brief overview of their academics, personality, and abilities so you can adjust your training to fit their goals."

I couldn't help but scoff softly at that. 'Adjust your training' my ass. The Uchiha didn't adjust training, the students adjusted to the training or they failed and became a disgrace to the clan. Still, I had to keep reminding myself that the parents of my students would murder me- Fugaku being at the front of the line- if I mistreated their brats.

Rolling my eyes because I could, I reached into the large envelope as all the other jounin did the same, and pulled out a small stack of thick paper. Dropping the envelope to the floor now that I didn't need it, I began leaving through the pages. I skipped completely over Sasuke's overview, if he was anything like an normal Uchiha then I shouldn't have a problem teaching him.

My mouth hit the floor when I saw the remaining teammates of the new Team 7.

Screw justice, the karma demons hated me again.

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"...All the genin will be grouped into three man squads, each squad will be lead by a jounin- an elite ninja." Iruka-sensei finished his little speech.

Sakura and Ino perked up at the same time and the same thoughts ran through their minds. A three man squad... that meant that some lucky girl would be placed on Sasuke's team! Ino recovered first and quickly pulled her aloof mask back down on her expression. "Well someone's gotta be on Sasuke-kun's group, I wonder who it will be...?"

The pink haired girl sitting in front of her glanced slightly over her shoulder and said coolly, "I don't know." As if the thought of anyone other than Sakura herself didn't really matter to her, when in fact it did. She was bound and determined to be on Sasuke's team if it killed her, she was _certain_ of it. After all, Sakura was smart enough to figure out how the teams were divided. It was a sure win that she would be on Sasuke-kun's team!

Iruka-sensei grinned, "We separate the squads by strength and abilities, that will determine who you are teamed up with." See? Just like Sakura predicted! Because she was the most intelligent she would be placed with the strongest fighter, which was Sasuke. The only problem was that whoever was the weakest would also be put on the team, to balance them out. Sakura glanced to her right to see Naruto looking deep in thought, most likely she would be placed with him as well. What a nightmare!

Iruka-sensei lifted the papers that listed the teams and called out in a louder voice, "I will now announce the squads!"

All across the class room, each new genin were going through their own mental list, trying to puzzle out who they would be teamed with, all the while being sure to listen for when their names were called. Sasuke sighed and folded his hands in front of his mouth, this wasn't good. He was one of the strongest in the class; as was his cousin Netsui, so that meant they probably wouldn't be put on a team. Well there went his one chance at being comfortable with his new team. Now he would actually have to speak the people he normally wouldn't, and the kunoichi would probably be a fangirl. Sasuke shuddered at the thought.

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto..." Iruka said and the blonde boy perked up. This was his team, Naruto could only hope that they wouldn't hold him back or anything, since he was a kickass ninja! "Hyuuga Hinata..." The shy little heiress almost fainted then and there. Her wish had been granted, she was on the team with Naruto-kun! "and Uchiha Sasuke."

Sakura and Ino stared at the sensei with open mouths, they had been so _sure_ that they would be the ones on Sasuke's team! It was almost fool proof, after all they were both the smartest in the class... in their own opinions. What was worse, they really couldn't begrudge Hinata for being on Sasuke's team. She was probably the only girl that wasn't a fangirl of Sasuke's. She probably didn't like _any_ boy!

Iruka continued, not even paying attention to the drama unfolding in front of him, "Next Team 8: Haruno Sakura... Inuzuka Kiba... and Aburame Shino," Sakura paled at the thought of being on a team with the rowdy dog boy and the creepy bug boy. Still that wasn't as bad as being on the team with Naruto! At least she lucked out on that. Sensei just continued ripping apart dreams and making some of them come true, "Now Team 10: Yamanaka Ino... Nara Shikamaru... and Akimichi Chouji." Ino nearly fainted. She was on a team with the laziest genin in the class and the fattest?! How did she end up with such weirdos?!

Before Iruka could continue, Naruto stood up with an air of indignity, "Iruka-sensei! Why does someone as powerful as me have to be on a team with a slug like Sasuke?!" Sakura glared at him, fire burning in her green eyes, but Iruka spoke before Naruto Beat-down Two could commence.

"Because Sasuke has the highest scores in _all_ the graduating students. Naruto... you had the worst scores," Iruka said with no mercy towards his surrogate little brother. The whole class, mostly Sasuke fangirls and a few Naruto-haters, laughed loudly at the blonde. "To be a balanced team," Iruka continued over the laughing kids, cutting their mirth off quickly, "we put the best student with the worst student."

Naruto growled while Sasuke looked coolly out the window. Mikoto might kill him later, but Sasuke couldn't help but say, "Just make sure you don't get in my way, _loser_." Oh yeah, Kaa-chan was definitely going to murder Sasuke. She couldn't stand her children saying anything mean about Naruto. Though... Mikoto never gave a reason why.

"Hey what did you say?!"

"Hard of hearing?" Sasuke retorted, slightly amused and the whole class burst out laughing again. Sakura tried to come to Sasuke's defense, but Iruka-sensei cleared his throat and ended all mischief.

As the laughter slowly dwindled down, Iruka informed the new genin, "After lunch, you'll meet your new jounin teachers. Until then, class dismiss-"

_Wham!_

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

Everyone whirled around when I slammed the classroom door open. Even Iruka, who should have been able to sense my chakra signatures, looked surprised. I still had a few minutes before my life officially became a living hell, maybe I should pull a classic Obito and screw with the minds of the impressionable brats, which included Iruka even though he was older than me. Without hesitation I started making jounin level hand signals telling the members of Team 7 to meet me on the roof.

No one moved. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

"Uh... Uchiha-san... may I help you?" Iruka said hesitantly. He didn't seem to know who I was, otherwise he'd be a lot more fearful to have one of the two hot headed Uchiha in his classroom. Still he knew enough to know that having an Uchiha in the room was enough to exercise caution. Being genin teammates with Shisui must have taught him that. Even an Uchiha as goofy as Shisui could still be unpredictable. I almost grinned, but didn't to keep my emotionless expression in check.

I rolled my eyes instead, "Honestly, are you all so stupid that you don't know a single jounin hand sign?" I asked, the contempt in my voice wasn't forced.

The Kyuubi brat took offense to that of course, "Hey! I'm not an idiot, I'm going to be Hokage someday, ya know!" I nearly laughed at that and mentally added yet another name to the list of Hokage wannabes. First Minato-san, though I didn't mind Nii-san's sensei being Hokage, then Obito, for a while Shisui had the dream too–before the drama of the failed Uchiha coup d'état–and now the Kyuubi brat.

Iruka was sweatdropping, "Er, Uchiha-san, they're only genin. They shouldn't have to-" He tried to explain.

My eyes cut to the chunnin and he stopped talking, "I knew half the sign book by the time I graduated, and I became a genin at the age of nine. That's no excuse." So I was bragging, so what? After growing up with a braggart crybaby for a brother, I was surprised I wasn't bragging more often then I actually did, which was still rare. Of course, my knowledge of hand signs probably came from a certain emotionally stunted silver haired ninja robot; but I wasn't going to tell anyone that.

Iruka tried to speak up, but he was silenced each time I pointed out why this graduating class was lesser than most classes in the past. It was almost scary how wimpy these kids were compared to past genin. Iruka was looking more and more flustered while the brats shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

Waving a hand, I dismissed the argument, "Whatever. Team 7 is to report to the roof, now. You're training begins."

The three genin soon to be under my thumb paled, "B-but... what about lunch?" Naruto asked, tears starting to prick his bright blue eyes. My eyebrows pinched together in a frown, why did I get the feeling that food and this kid was going to be a major problem?

"I'm your jounin sensei. What I say goes... and I say get your asses up to the roof _now_ or suffer." I started to turn away, but not before I noticed that the three Uchiha genin in the room were slumping down in their seats, as if ashamed to be associated with me.

Disrespect towards a hungover hot tempered Uchiha meant someone had a death wish.

"_SIT UP STRAIGHT YOU UCHIHA HEATHENS! WHAT, WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN?!"_ I roared and got the extreme satisfaction of not only seeing the three dark haired kids pop back up, but everyone, including Iruka, stiffen at the command. "Now Team 7, you've got thirty seconds to get your worthless asses on the roof or I fail the lot of you." I said more calmly, probably mentally scaring a lot of the brats. I wondered if Iruka was going to look into getting me committed to a jounin sanity test.

As I shunshined out of the room and onto the roof, I smirked. If I was going to make this any more bearable, a few more required sanity test shouldn't be too much of a consequence.

"Twenty-eight seconds, you're cutting it close." I said mildly when the door to the academy roof burst open and my three _precious_ little genin came tumbling out. For having ran up four flights of stairs in 28 seconds, I was slightly impressed that none of them were winded. But then Sasuke and the Hyuuga were clan kids and were already conditioned for harsher training exercises, and Naruto had run from many shinobi in the past during his pranks it was no surprise that he had stamina as well.

I wordlessly motioned for them to take a seat, and spoke as they were flopping down on the ground, well Naruto flopped the other two sat down more gracefully. "Alright, since we're stuck together, tell me a little about yourselves. Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams... crap like that." I said dismissively, not even bothering to look at the three brats.

The Hyuuga heiress raised her hand timidly. I raised an eyebrow at her juvenile behavior and rolled my eyes, making her blush even more than she already was. Exasperated I called on her and the shy Hyuuga stuttered out, "W-wi-will you g-g-go first s-s-s-sen-sensei?" I narrowed my eyes a fraction, first thing I was training her in was speech.

"Fine. My name is Uchiha Yanagi, and yes I am related to Sasuke. I'm his cousin, as much as I don't want to be," I added when I saw Naruto's confused face. "I like my Police Force patrol, which I was forced to retire from. I dislike stuttering timid kids," Hinata's face lit up like a thermometer, "overly annoying blondes," Naruto was too dumb to get the reverence towards him. I really shouldn't be that surprised, "younger family members... just kids in general." Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed into an almost glare. I was tempted to return it with a full Uchiha Glare, but I didn't want to give him a heart attack.

His family would kill me.

"I also don't like my older brother or Uchiha Shisui, the clan in general, being a jounin sensei... and many other things. My hobbies... I have an indefinite amount of hobbies and none are your business. My dream is to get out of this hell that my clan leader forced me in and get back to my patrol." Sasuke looked like he wanted to question me about my dislike for the clan, but I was already pointing at Hinata, "Stuttering kid, go."

Of course she turned an unhealthy shade of red. I was beginning to wonder if there was any blood left in her body or if it was all showing in her face. "M-m-my name is Hy-Hyuuga H-H-Hinata. I like... m-my f-fa-family a-and..." she got even brighter, "cinnamon rolls!" She finished in a squeaky tone. I raised an eyebrow at that, obviously she had been about to say something else. "I-I-I... don't real-really d-dis-dislike a-a-any-anything. My ho-hob-hobby i-i-is p-pres-pressing fl-flowers. And m-my d-d-d-dream is t-t-t-to-to be a g-gre-great n-nin-ninja!" I was almost tempted to make a fake snoring sound. How boring can a brat get?

I was definitely signing her up for a speech therapist first thing in the morning. Even if she was a Hyuuga, this girl was my only semblance to sanity. Or she would be if I could cure her of that nasty stutter. I pressed my left fingers to my forehead as I pointed to the Kyuubi brat with my right hand, "Go."

"ALRIGHT!" The blonde haired idiots said and started moving his headband up and down like a weirdo, "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like instant ramen in a cup, and I _really_ like the ramen Iruka-sensei gave me. But I hate the three minutes I have to wait for the ramen to cook. My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them. And my future dream is... _to be the greatest Hokage!_ That way everyone will start respecting me!"

I couldn't help it, I facepalmed. This kid blabbed about nothing but ramen and then suddenly drops a bomb like wanting to be the next Hokage?! And I thought Obito was bad. I made a mental note to never introduce the two if I could help it. They would drive me over the edge if they started talking. Sighing, I waved a hand towards my relative, "Go, Uchiha brat."

Sasuke was sitting in his cool pose, where he got it from I would never know. Itachi and Shisui weren't the ones to teach him, I knew that much! He glared at the name I gave him, "My _name_ is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't particularly like or dislike anything." I bet any fangirls hanging around the area were sobbing by now. A small joy to me. "My hobbies include walking and training with my Aniki. I don't have a dream, because I will make it into a reality. I'm going to become strong enough to beat my brother and be the strongest Uchiha in the clan." Sasuke's eyes staring at me in an open challenge.

I laughed out right and nearly fell off the railing, "Oh that's rich! Someone is delusional!" I shrieked. All three poor little genin looked confused, with just a smidgen of indignity on Sasuke's part. "Sorry, idiot, but I don't think your dream will become a 'reality.'"

My younger cousin frowned, "How so?" He growled. Apparently someone didn't like being teased.

Leaning forward I crossed my arms over my chest, "Simply because Itachi-san _isn't_ the strongest Uchiha in the clan." Boy I wish I had a camera to snap a picture of Sasuke's expression. I could totally use it as more blackmail.

"T-t-then w-w-who is?" Hinata asked for Sasuke, since he was still shell shocked that his Nii-san wasn't the strongest in our clan, as he clearly believed. I wondered if Itachi was the one who put the idea in his head, or if it was simply idol worship.

"Shisui."

Sasuke actually sputtered, "What?! You're telling me that goofball is the strongest?" The poor boy asked incredulous. I laughed again, even though Sasuke practically grew up around some atypical Uchiha like my brother and Shisui, he was still a typical arrogant ass. So it was ten times more funny when his facade cracked.

I sneered at the still disbelieving boy, "Believe it or not, yes. Itachi is better in skill, true, but Shisui has something going for him that no other living person has." I said in a mysterious tone. All three genin leaned in, obviously wanting to know the secret. Even Hinata was looking eager about it. I smirked and shook my head, "Nuh-uh. That's a secret that only people with the Uchiha Kekke Genkai can know."

Naruto looked confused, "What's a Kekke Genkai?" He mumbled under his breath.

I was going to give him a sarcastic answer, but Sasuke ignored the question to say, "I will have the Kekke Genkai one day, so you can tell me."

I held up a finger, "Ah-ah-ah... Let me correct that previous statement: Only people who have _activated_ the Kekke Genkai and can use it effectively in battle can know the secret." Sasuke pouted but didn't push the subject. At least he knew the requirements to unlock his Sharingan, otherwise I have no doubt he would be standing up and shouting that he would unlock the Sharingan no matter what, just to learn the secret behind Shisui's reputation.

Oh wait... that's Naruto shtick.

Speaking of the Kyuubi brat, he was standing and shouting, "What is a Kekke Genkai?! And how can I get one?"

I scoffed, "Idiot, a Kekke Genkai is something you're born with. It's a bloodline trait that you can only get from your family, a tool to help you fight as a ninja basically." I said, dumbing it down so that a two year old, or Naruto in this case, could understand. Before any of the brats could say anything else, I pushed off the rail, "Okay. We have our first mission tomorrow, be at training ground six at five a.m. and bring your ninja gear. Bye, brats." Before any of them could respond, I shunshined away, ignoring Naruto's shouts to come back and explain myself.

He should really learn that Uchiha never explain themselves, especially since he had Sasuke and me on the team.

^o^

Oh this is going to be _goooooood~_ What does Yanagi have in mind for Team 7's 'survival exercise'? What does Shisui have that Itachi doesn't (though that answer should be obvious)? Will Obito ever meet Naruto? lol I sound like some 80s T.V. drama show. XD

**~Whoever said "words don't hurt" have obviously never had a hard-backed encyclopedia hurled at their head.**

And _yes_, the new team arrangements (Sakura and Hinata switching) are for a perfectly good reason that I will explain at a later time. Trust me, this story is all planned out, so stop doubting me! lol

BTW: Do you think I should keep Netsui in the story? I kinda like his character, but I'm torn whether I should use him some more or not...

Flamers welcome to my domain!


	4. The Test

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

Meh... I've gotta stop writing so late at night... I'm going to die in my college classes if I don't stop my habits...

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or favorites this story, I'm just too lazy to do the list thing at the moment. XP_

You know... I was writing the first part of this chapter, and then I went to take a shower... yeah Obito and I are alike in a lot of ways (at least the Obito in THIS story...) Read to find out what I mean! ^^

*pulls hair out in frustration* My stupid spell check on Open Office died and when I got it fixed IT DELETED ALL MY WORDS I ADDED TO THE DICIOTNARY! Now I'm having to go through all my stories and adding back all the names and words that aren't proper English! _**SOMEONE JUST SHOOT ME FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!**_

...And now iTunes is acting strange... WHY DOES MY COMPUTER ALWAYS DO THIS IN THE WINTER?! It never fails, once the cold weather comes around, my computer starts screwin' with me!

vvv

"YANAGIIIIIIIIIII!" Obito screeched. I sighed irritatedly and looked up from my book just as my brother came barreling through my bedroom door, a bath towel wrapped around his waist and sopping wet.

I sighed again, this time in exasperation, and threw my left arm over my eyes, pointing towards my personal bathroom with my right hand, "Underneath the counter." I said dully. It was pretty bad that this was a common occurrence in our house. Both Obito and I had come to an agreement that each of us were in charge of our own expenses and that the only time we pooled our money together on was if it influenced both of us. That being said, my brother had a nasty habit of forgetting to buy more shampoo.

Nii-san had just better thank his lucky stars that I didn't like girly scented hair products.

Still I got a nice deal out of it. Every time Obito forgot about shampoo, he bought me a bag of candy. One thing the both of us had in common was our unnatural sweet tooth. Most of the Uchiha clan had a sweet tooth as well, but no where near as bad as mine and Obito's. Candy was a part of my brother's and my necessities whereas it was only a treat to the rest of the clan.

While my brother cursed and rummaged around in my bathroom I called out, "I'm leaving early in the morning."

Nii-san's voice was suddenly clearer, meaning he probably had come back into my room, "Why? You're not going on a date are you?"

If my eyes were open I would have rolled them. Only my brother would automatically assume that I was going on a date. I bet he wondered if I was going on a date every time I stepped outside the house. "No. I have to teach teamwork to my group of genin brats. You know how that is."

"You failed your test if I remember." Obito teased. It was true, I had gotten so irritated with the dead last of my graduating class, who had been on my team, that I actually punched his lights out even though our sensei told us not to attack each other. I was sent back to the academy immediately and had to wait another year. Really it was the idiot's fault, he shouldn't have assumed that since I was eight and he was twelve that he knew more than me. Because of that jerk, I had to graduate at the age of nine.

"And you are probably the only one who passed with flying colors. It's rare not to fail the first time you know..." I growled back at Obito.

The one eyed Uchiha snorted, "You're just hoping that those kids fail, aren't you?"

"Would you go finish your shower?"

"You're just proving my point by changing the subject~!" Obito ran out of my room, his footsteps fast and light, before I could even cock my elbow back to launch my book at him. Damn it, I hated it when he had the sense to get the hell out of dodge!

I sighed and marked my place before setting the book down on my nightstand. I would have to get up early tomorrow morning so I could train a few brats, which meant my late night habits were probably gone for good. Pouting slightly I turned off my lamp and rolled over, pulling my covers up to my chin.

Just as I was beginning to drift off, I heard a crash followed immediately by, "DAMN IT! YANAGI GET IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS MESS UP!"

I glared at the wall my bed was pushed up against. I seemed to forget that my night owl tendencies weren't of my own making. My brother, curse him, forced me into the habit. I threw back the covers and yelled back, "Alright you big crybaby! If you weren't so incompetent, I'd make you do it yourself!"

I'm sure the rest of the Uchiha clan could hear us yelling at each other all night long.

vvv

The moment five a.m. hit, my three precious genin showed up. Hinata and Naruto stumbling with weariness while Sasuke was wide awake and alert. Point for the Uchiha. I glanced at them, "You're on time." I said mildly. Naruto grinned despite his exhaustion, he seemed pleased at the compliment. I bookmarked the book I was reading and stood from my place on the ground, tucking away the blue bound slim book. "Which means... you're late."

Cue the confusion on all three of the preteens' faces. It made my day.

I held up a finger, "First rule of ninja: Timing is everything. When out on the field, an enemy might set a trap for you. If you were to arrive before he does, then you have the advantage. Same goes for tardiness, being late will lower your enemy's caution and thus give you an opening." I could not believe I was lecturing these brats, that was the Hokage's job! I glared down at the genin in front of me, letting a little killer intent slip through so they were frightened enough, "But if you ever alive late while in my team I'll skin you alive! Understood?"

"H-hai, sensei!" All three of the brats stuttered out, balking under my gaze. I felt proud that even someone like Sasuke was effected. But then, I had heard that he was more of a softie than his brother.

Straightening I smiled, no doubt scaring them out of their wits with my sudden change in mood, perfect. "Okay, then we'll start the mission."

Naruto dropped his scared expression like a hot tin plate and immediately leapt forward, "What's the mission? What's the mission? What? What? What?" He was actually bouncing around in his excitement. When he got too close to me I pressed my fingers to his forehead like Obito did to me and sent him to the ground.

"You're going on a treasure hunt."

"_Really?!_ That is so cool! Is it some long lost diamond? Or a cursed ruby? Oh! Did a princess lose her crown and we're having to look for it?!" Did this kid never shut up? I made a mental note to grab Obito's numbing salve. Maybe it would numb the Kyuubi brat's mouth enough that he couldn't talk.

I poked him in the forehead again, "No... you don't get to know what the object is, that's the point of the exercise. Here are some clues you can use to figure the object out." I passed out plain white envelopes to the three genin. Before they could rip into them and start the 'mission' I continued, "you must find the object by noon or you get no lunch. Also, the last person to find the object will fail and goes back to the academy."

More confusion, and some despair from Naruto about the time limit, "W-w-w-what do y-y-yo-you m-me-mean, s-s-s-sen-sensei?" Hinata stuttered out.

Naruto was squinting his eyes up again, "Yeah? What's this about failing?! We're already genin, you can't send us back to the Academy!" He moved his Haiti-ate to reflect the rising sun to prove his point.

I gave him a cruel smile, "Oh can't I? Let me explain then. Of the twenty-seven graduates, only nine will be accepted as genin. The other eighteen will not make the cut and be sent back to the academy. Your chance at _staying_ genin is at least thirty-four percent, and it's all up to me." Of all their reactions, Naruto's was the best. His eyes bugged out in surprise and his mouth dropped to the ground. Hinata just started swaying where she sat, as if she were about to faint, and Sasuke glared at me.

Sasuke was the smart one and asked, "Alright, how do we convince you to let us stay genin?"

"By passing this little mission I'm telling you about. Now stop interrupting or I'll fail you anyway." I couldn't really do that, but the genin didn't know that. Until they actually passed my test, if they did, I was going to milk the threat of sending them back to the academy for all its worth.

I waited for a moment to see if they would say anything, and when they didn't I continued, "You can fight each other for the clues, since all three are needed to figure out just what the item is. Also, once you figure out the object, you need to _find_ it next and present it to me. And I'll be nice since you are just kids," They relaxed slightly, or more than slightly in Naruto's case, "if you best me in battle, I'll tell you what and where the object is," Cue the tensing back up again. "Remember: you have to figure out the clues and find the object all before noon or I will tie you to something and eat lunch in front of you. Ready... begin!"

As I predicted the blonde idiot came charging after me, his fist raised with a pathetic battle cry. I rolled my eyes and kicked him away easily, sending him crashing into a tree. Hinata and Sasuke had already leapt out of sight, probably to figure out the clues on their own. I knew that Sasuke was too stubborn to figure out the object of the test, he would want to find the object with only the one clue I had given him just to prove himself. Hinata... she was a wild card. The Hyuuga heiress could either figure out the point of this exercise or she could be like Sasuke and try to accomplish things on her own.

Naruto however... I had thrown in the option to attack me solely for his benefit. I knew the knucklehead would attack me, his overconfidence would get in his way. Besides I had entertainment while I waited for lunch.

**vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv**

When he was far enough away from Yanagi-sensei, Sasuke halted and pulled the envelope out of his shorts' pocket. He frowned down at the slip of paper.

_Tis erhe, uoy othrebhos-me diiot. Htis odec si oto arhd rfo yuo._

The message was just a bunch of scrabbled letters. Clearly Yanagi-sensei knew that Sasuke would be able to decode the message, it was a simple scramble code that any three year old could figure out. Quickly the midnight blue haired Uchiha set to work. The hyphen in the fourth word threw him for a moment, until he realized Yanagi had probably put it in there for that purpose. What the message actually said made Sasuke pissed.

_Sit here, you botherso-me idiot. This code is too hard for you._

What kind of clue was that?!

**vvv 3rd Person~ Hinata vvv**

When Yanagi-sensei said begin, Hinata immediately dove for cover in the underbrush of the forest surrounding the training ground. She watched in fascination as Naruto-kun lashed out at their sensei bravely, and then in horror when Yanagi-sensei kicked the blonde boy away with ease. Hinata had contemplated in helping Naruto, but she was too weak to stand up to a jounin, especially one who was so cruel.

Instead the timid little Hyuuga heiress pulled out her clue and read over it.

_Tall and straight like a tree am I, but no leaves or fruit I bear._

Hinata blinked. It was a riddle, and a hard one by the looks of it. Hinata's clue could mean anything! Anything that was tall and not a tree, that is. Maybe if she got the other clues it would help, but she didn't want to attack her teammates! Hinata wouldn't last a second against Sasuke, and she wasn't going to attack Naruto for no reason.

The pale eyed girl glanced back at her sensei as the Uchiha woman once again threw Naruto over her shoulder and laughed as he struggled to his feet. There was something missing, something that Yanagi had said. _'The last person to find the object is failed and goes back to the academy.'_ Hinata frowned. If that were true, it would be better for all three of them could find the object together so no one was first or last.

Hinata gasped as realization dawned on her, that was what Yanagi wanted! Sensei was pitting the team against each other purposefully to see if anyone could figure out that the point was teamwork! That was why Team 7 was allowed to attack each other, to push the thoughts of teamwork further away. Yanagi had said that they would need all three clues to figure out the object they were trying to find, it was the only hint that Yanagi-sensei had given them.

Now if Hinata could only work up her courage to tell her findings to the two boys in her team. The Hyuuga girl whimpered a little at the thought. They could try and attack her before she even had a chance to explain.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

I smiled when I heard Hinata gasp. So she must have figured it out. My respect meter inched up a few pegs for the girl. She didn't have any male ego or pride to get in her way of thoughts. Still, what she would do now, that was the question.

"YAAAAAAAAA! Don't get distracted, sensei!" Naruto yelled multiple times from his shadow clone jutsu. I rolled my eyes and made a few quick hand signs with precision. I took a deep breath then blew between my thumb and forefinger. With a roar, the great fireball jutsu took out all shadow clones in front of it.

I felt something hard connect with my back and I stumbled forward with a grunt, losing my concentration on the fireball. Cursing I started to turn my head to look over my shoulder at the little brat. He caught me off guard! Not even Obito in his pranking moods could accomplish that feat. Angry, I reached up and pulled the Kyuubi brat off of my back and flung him across the clearing.

Naruto somehow was joyful in spite of being thrown a great distance, "Ha! I got a hit! Now tell me what the object is and where it is!"

"No."

"WHAAAAT?! You said you would if I won!" Naruto shrieked.

I glared at him, "I said if you beat me in battle. You only landed a hit," I slowly started walking towards him. It stung my pride, both as an Uchiha and jounin, that some little blonde haired brat was able to land a hit on me. I wasn't really known for taking blows and turning the other cheek. Towering over the little genin I spoke, my tone, which had been amused until now, had a sharp cutting edge to it, "you rush in blindly and attack without strategy. That blow was a lucky shot, and it won't happen again."

Turning away from the kid I waved a hand, "Now, stop wasting my time and try to figure out that clue of yours." I shunshined away before Naruto could attack, as I knew he probably would.

**vvv 3rd Person~ Naruto vvv**

Damn that frizzy haired lady! Naruto pouted and crossed his arms, it wasn't fair! He should have won, but his sensei was too stubborn to admit her defeat at his hands. Naruto could tell by the look on her face that the blow had taken her by surprise. If she hadn't reacted as quickly as she did, Frizzy-sensei would be on the ground!

Naruto yanked out the clue from his jumpsuit and ripped the envelope open. Maybe the clue was super easy and he could guess it immediately. The look on Yanagi-sensei's face would be hilarious when Naruto showed up with the object before lunch. Naruto chuckled to himself as he imagined the expression of complete surprise and awe.

_My eyes glow red when I am mad or threatened._

…What?! What did that mean? Was this some kind of insane creepy riddle that he had to figure out?! Was the object a vampire or something? Naruto had heard that some vampire's eyes glowed red when they drank blood. Naruto began to panic a little, he didn't want to fight a vampire! He had hard enough time beating Yanagi-sensei.

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!_

Naruto was torn between feeling relief and despair that the alarm had gone off. Now he wouldn't have to face the vampire, but–his stomach growled and Naruto groaned, remembering that Yanagi said no lunch for the person who hadn't found the vampire.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

"The three of you are a... Bunch. Of. _Idiots!_" I shouted when all three genin lined up at the starting point. I was crying on the inside at the stupidity of the team I had been saddled with. Why was the only one to figure out the mission the shyest? I hadn't even done the bell test, which was probably the hardest teamwork exercise, like Kakashi-san usually did. In fact, I had given Team 7 the easiest and they still failed!

Hinata was the only one looking abash. Naruto looked miserable, probably had something to do with the sounds his stomach was making, and Sasuke glared at me hotly. If I wasn't in such a foul mood I would have asked if he liked my clue to him.

I paced in front of them, "I practically _told_ you this treasure hunt was a teamwork exercise, but you all are too stupid to see that!" I spun to face the team and zeroed in on Sasuke's petulant face, "Sasuke, you were too busy trying to succeed with your one clue you seemed to forget that you needed _all three_ of the clues to find the object."

Naruto got over his starving state to laugh at the slightly pouting Sasuke, "Ha ha! Teme you're so stupid!"

I glared at the blond, "You, Naruto, are probably the stupidest of the three." I snapped.

"Hey!"

"You were too busy trying to fight me to even pay attention to your clue. Had I not practically ordered you to, I doubt you would have even looked at it! I am a jounin, you dumbass, I cannot be taken down so easily by a genin. You're actions were lazy and stupid." I growled menacingly. Naruto had the smarts not to say anything. I glared at the team as a whole again, "Hinata was the only one to figure out that this exercise was teamwork driven, but she was too much of a coward to tell you two idiots!"

Naruto leapt to his feet, "Hey! Don't call Hinata a coward! She's just shy." The blonde defended. I noticed that Hinata's blush turned darker almost immediately. I spared her a curious glance despite my anger, such a strange child she was. Not only was Hinata extremely shy and weak for a clan kid, but she also seemed to have a major crush on Naruto of all people.

Still, I was glad I didn't have a squealing Sasuke fangirl on my hands.

While distracted with my thoughts, Sasuke stood up to, "You should not pick on the shyest of the team simply because she poses no resistance to you." He said, rather calmly, but I could tell by the way his dark eyes glittered that my little cousin was about as pissed as Naruto. Hinata looked between her two teammates, seemingly surprised that she was being defended by the both of them.

I raised a cool eyebrow, "Oh? Then what should I do, let her grow up as a shy coward perhaps?" I asked mildly.

Sasuke gave me a rather impressive version of the infamous Uchiha Glare, "If anyone is the coward it's you. You spend your time picking on twelve year olds."

"Well I can't really yell at your father or the Hokage, Duckass, so deal with it." I said dully. The three genin looked a little confused since they didn't know why exactly I was forced into this. Nor would they ever unless the case called for it. The near disaster that almost ended in the massacre of the Uchiha clan had been classified as an S-level secret, along with Naruto's jinchuuriki status. None of the younger generation, not even those of the Uchiha clan, knew about our planned revolt or that Itachi and Shisui stopped it. They didn't know that this whole team was an experiment to see if an Uchiha could effectively teach Konoha genin.

"Whatever. You still are all idiots for not figuring out that teamwork is important or doing nothing about it." I said, waving a hand to dismiss the subject. I _really_ didn't need to go into that, or I'd be killed for spilling the beans.

Naruto titled his head, "Why is teamwork important? Wouldn't people just hold you back?"

I couldn't help but reach over and swat the brat upside the head. After listening to his protests for half a second, I did the same thing to shut him up and spoke before he could start yelling at me in renewal, "Teamwork is essential to everything. They don't hold you back, a team is family. Had you got together and shared the clues, you would have easily figured out the object."

"W-w-w-w-w-w-wha-what i-is-is the o-o-o-obj-obj-ect?" Oh great, yelling at Hinata seemed to make her stutter more. Just my luck.

I smiled for the first time since the timer went off. "I'm the object." Cue the three stunned faces.

My little cousin frowned, "How does my clue point towards you? You just insulted me." I was surprised that Naruto hadn't laughed, but one look at the blonde genin revealed that he was paling at a rabid pace. Soon the Kyuubi brat would be as pale as Sasuke and Hinata.

" 'Sit here, you bothersome idiot. This code is too hard for you.' That is the clue, correct?" I asked. Sasuke nodded, suspicion leaking into his eyes. I gave him a close eyed grin, "Did you happen to notice that 'bothersome' had a hyphen?" Another nod of confirmation. "I told you the code was too hard, and I was right."

"There was no code." Sasuke said stubbornly.

Shaking my head I held up a finger, "Technically there was, but I knew that–as an Uchiha–you would over think things. If you had simply looked at where the hyphen was placed you would notice that 'me' had been separated from 'bothersome'. Really, the answer if quite obviously stupid when you think about it."

Sasuke actually facepalmed and I genuinely laughed when he did so.

I turned my attention back on the team as an whole and held up one finger, "I already explained Sasuke's clue. It was the most obvious, too obvious to tell the truth." I held up a second finger, "Hinata's clue was a little more difficult. 'Tall and straight like a tree am I, but no leaves or fruit I bear.' I am extremely tall for a woman. Naruto's clue-"

"Are you a vampire?!" Naruto chose then to shout, his eyes wide as he pointed an accusing finger at me. I blinked at him as did Sasuke and even Hinata.

"...What?"

"You're a vampire, aren't you! Are you going to drink out blood?!"

"And where did you get that silly notion?"

"The clue!"

"What?!" I stared at the blonde kid. Granted his clue was a little creepy but still, how did he get vampire out of glowing red eyes?

Naruto seemed to suddenly notice the looks his teammates were giving him. A blush marred his cheeks lightly and he ducked his head, "The uh... the clue. It said that your eyes glow red..." He mumbled.

The younger Uchiha actually took pity on Naruto, "That's the Uchiha Kekke Genkai. Our eyes turn red sometimes to help in battle." Sasuke explained. I was glad he didn't go in depth. There had once been a time when the sharingan was a clan secret, but after so many years it just became common knowledge. Still, the Uchiha didn't like explaining their Kekke Genkai unless absolutely necessary, that way there was less people trying to steal it.

"...oh..."

I sighed and shook my head, "You need to stop watching whatever it is you watch..." I said sadly. Then I grinned, this one full of evil intent. The genin hunkered down, obviously knowing that we were about to return to the failed exercise, "now... we're going to try this again, but it won't be as easy as the treasure hunt." I said and waited for one of the genin to ask what I was planning for them to do.

Finally Sasuke was the one who dared to ask, "What is it?"

My grin grew wider, "You're going to prank my brother, Uchiha Obito."

I was very pleased the way Sasuke's skin turned a unhealthy pale color. If I thought he was pasty before, it was nothing compared to this. I was nearly shivering in excitement. Maybe having a genin team was fun after all, if I could get away with pranking the Uchiha Prankster.

^o^

I don't know who I should feel sorry for... Obito or Team 7...

BTW: Did anyone see the nod to a certain hidden village that Sasuke defects to in the cannon? If not go read again... look especially close to any clues... *whistles innocently* 9.9

**~Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says..'Oh sh*t...she's awake'**

For some reason I have a feeling that I'm going to get flames for this chapter... I just think it's badly written. Of course that could be the pre-publish jitters or whatever. Also I hope I got Naruto's character right. Writing a hyperactive character when I'm used to writing subdued ones is kinda hard.

FLAME FRIENDLY!


	5. Why Never to Prank Obito

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Hmmm... I seem to be writing this chapters rather quickly... I've been writing a chapter a day lately. Of course I've been neglecting my other stories to do so, but I want to build up as much stockpile on this story before I start publishing... although since you're reading this that means that I have stockpiled enough and... whatever, I'm just Fluff Mastering again... I am very concerned that this might be a regular occurrence.

Speaking of Fluff Mastering, I am the master of BSing a paper, and I'm very proud of my skill. A little tip for you people who struggle to make the essay length requirements: Never shorten a sentence, and find out long synonyms of short words. Repeat a sentence or two to 'ram the idea home'; but be sure you reword it, don't repeat a sentence verbatim. Above all else: DO NOT OVER DO IT! Your teacher will catch on and then you'll get into even bigger trouble.

BTW: Little unknown fact. Having insomnia isn't having the ability to stay awake for 24 hours without fail. It's STAYING AWAKE FOR _**OVER**_ 24 HOURS AND STILL NOT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP!

vvv

"Who put you in charge, Teme?" Naruto whined the minute Sasuke tried to start planning their prank on his cousin.

Sasuke glared at the blonde, "Obito is my cousin, I know his reputation." The Uchiha boy said simply.

"Ha! But I'm a prankster, so I should know what to do!"

"You have no idea what Obito is capable of."

"So what?! Doesn't make you the leader!"

I sighed exasperated and pinched the bridge of my nose. I should have known that the two boys were going to develop some kind of rivalry. Every team did it, even myself and one of my genin teammates had one. Although it was my teammate who was under the delusion that we had a rivalry, I had no interest in being a rival to anyone– especially not a civilian brat. I simply played along for the entertainment of watching the guy fail time and time again.

If I remember correctly he retired from his shinobi career after losing the Chuunin Exams to me.

As my two students continued to argue who should be the leader, I glanced down at the fidgeting Hyuuga heiress standing beside me, almost behind me. I guess it was time for some 'sensei-student' bonding time. "Hinata." The girl looked up at me, her pale eyes wide with obvious fright. Mentally I sighed, maybe calling her a coward earlier was a bit much.

"Y-y-yes, sensei?" She managed to stutter out, pressing her two forefingers together in a nervous habit.

I swatted her hands down, "Stop that. First rule of being a kunoichi: don't show nervousness." Hinata gripped her hands together behind her back, like a small child being scolded and nodded in a jerking manner, "Second, I'm putting you on teamwork duty. While the three of you are out pranking my brother, you're going to keep the boys from killing each other. Consider it your first lesson in asserting yourself."

Hinata paled and she looked down at her feet. I could see that she was gripping her hands tightly, as if she were trying to talk her courage up. I sighed and tapped the bottom of her chin, bringing her gaze to meet mine.

"You will get over this nervous habit of yours, Hyuuga. Shy little kids don't make it in this career." I said sternly. Hinata nodded quickly and I rolled my eyes. I was starting to wonder if she was only nodding so I would stop talking to her. "You can start by breaking those two up now." I said and pointed at Sasuke and Naruto as they got in each other face.

Hesitatingly Hinata shuffled towards the two fighting boys. I watched her closely as she neared Naruto and Sasuke, analyzing her ever move. "E-excuse me..." She said in a whisper. Of course the boys didn't hear her over their own loud voices.

I groaned. Seems this was going to be harder than I thought. Putting my two index fingers to my mouth, I whistled loudly, making everyone in the vicinity cringe. My genin looked at me and I glared back, "Alright, pansies, if there's going to be that much of a fuss over team leader, I'll pick. Hinata is the leader," Oh I would enjoy the looks of surprise from the three preteens for years to come. Still, before I could visualize those expressions again, I had to lay down ground rules, "She's also the person who's going to make sure you two don't fight. For this 'mission' to go successfully, you have to work together _and be quiet!_ Any questions?" I didn't give them enough time to ask before I was continuing, "Good. Now when you're done, you can go home."

"How do you know if we pass or not?" Sasuke asked, a frown pulling his thin eyebrows low over his eyes.

Grinning evilly, I tapped him on his Haiti-ate, "Trust me, I'll know. Good luck~! You're going to need it."

**vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv**

The second Yanagi-sensei disappeared, Sasuke turned to his two teammates, "We need a plan of attack. Cousin Obito won't be an easy target." He said. There was no way Sasuke would be able to retain his cool if he didn't think of this stupid childish test as an actual mission.

Naruto glared at him, "Hey! Hinata is the leader! Stop trying to usurp her command!" Hinata blushed and looked away quickly, her whole face red. Sasuke rolled his eyes, it took him by surprise that the dobe hadn't caught on to Hinata's affections by now.

"I'm surprise you even know what 'usurp' means." Sasuke commented drily. Naruto pulled a hateful face, the corner of his mouth twitching in frustration.

"G-guys! Please d-don-don't fight!" Hinata interrupted before Naruto could respond. Both boys looked away with equal sour looks. There were a few minutes of silence before Hinata spoke again, "S-S-Sas-Sasuke-san. W-what w-w-w-were you say-saying?"

The Uchiha glanced at his female teammate, it wasn't often that any girl added the honorific -san to his name, most of the time it was -kun. Sasuke liked the change. Ignoring Naruto's pout, Sasuke explained his plan on pranking his older cousin.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

"Yeah, so since I couldn't do the same test twice, I made them work on something completely different." I said to Kakashi as we both sat in the shade of some random tree, boredly watching Asuma and his three new genin. We both had free time, since Kakashi already failed his team and mine were currently trying to impress me.

Kakashi hummed as he read his favorite book of all time for the millionth time, "So what are they doing...?" He asked distractedly.

"Pranking Obito." I got a laugh when Kakashi nearly fell out of the tree branch he was lounging in. Quickly, too quickly for my liking, Kakashi managed to catch himself and prevent a blackmail worthy moment.

"He's going to kill you."

"That's why I'm hanging out with you," I said jokingly, "You love me too much to let my big bad brother murder me."

I only got a sigh from the Copy-nin. I knew what was going on in his mind. "You put up with me because I'm the only person in the universe who can get Obito to stop annoying you. Besides, I have years worth of blackmail on you." I answered his unasked question.

Kakashi gave me a dry look, "You're incorrigible." He grumbled. I laughed at him. Of all people in Konoha, Kakashi was probably the only one I truly got along with. One could say that I saw Kakashi as another brother, only I liked this one more than my blood brother. I liked to think that he saw me as a little sister.

He teased me like one.

The white haired jounin leaned closer to me and gave me his famous eye-smile, "And I have plenty blackmail over you too." He said cheerfully.

Glaring I crossed my arms, "Shut up." I grumbled, not wanting to talk anymore. I felt a finger poke my cheek and I whipped around to snap at it, but like always Kakashi pulled back before I could dig my teeth in his finger.

"Your crush on me was so cute! Of all my fangirls, you were probably my favorite." Kakashi teased.

My glare intensified until I was giving him a full Uchiha Glare. Having been a teammate with a hothead like my brother and being Kakashi in general, of course he was immune to it. Damn man. "That was only a brief time, it was a phase I went through you idiot. Hero worship!" I defended myself hotly.

Kakashi leaned back, satisfied that he had riled me up, and took his book out again, "Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll actually believe it one day."

I crossed my arms and slouched against the tree trunk, "I'm going to sell your Icha Icha novels, jerk."

"I keep them in a safe."

"What? You're not still mad that I burned your last series, are you?"

"..._yes_..."

"You should have listened to Obito then. He tried to warn you." I said dismissively, shrugging as if burning his books were inevitable. Which, considering my undying hatred for the perverted novels, it kind of _was_ inevitable.

"Like I'd ever trust anything Obito would say." Kakashi growled, probably remembering one of the many instances where trusting the Uchiha Prankster got Kakashi into trouble. I grinned mentally, remembering a few memories myself. Poor Kakashi had to learn what all Uchiha knew the hard way.

"I'm pretty sure that when it comes to Icha Icha, Obito means every word he says." I said drily. There were two things Kakashi and Obito had in common: their habit of tardiness and their creepy obsession with the Icha Icha series.

Kakashi snorted and crossed his arms, the closest thing he'd ever get to pouting, "He also likes to spoil the new books."

I held up my hands as if to defend myself and screwed my eyes up, "I don't want to know _anything_ that goes on in those smutty books of yours! You and my brother can keep your perverseness to yourselves!" I snapped.

My brother figure glanced at me, his single visible eye full of mischief. Well crap, I just dug myself into a hole. Kakashi opened his mouth, or at least I assumed by the way his face mask moved, to speak but someone beat him to it.

"Are you two going to distract my team all day or what?"

Kakashi and I looked down from our perches to see Asuma standing at the base of the tree giving us a rather stern look, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Behind him, his three genin were watching us curiously. If I remember correctly, the blonde girl was one of Sasuke's more adamant fangirls, but I wasn't for sure. Kakashi only dipped his head in greeting and buried his nose in his dirty orange book.

"Sorry, Asuma" I said, but my tone wasn't apologetic. Asuma may be more powerful and older than me, but I was still an Uchiha. Arrogance was a hereditary trait that my clan was born with. I didn't respect anyone unless they absolutely deserved it. Kakashi, without looking up from his book, swatted me in the back of my head.

I glared at him, but before I could say anything Asuma spoke again, "Could you take your argument somewhere else?" Even though the Sarutobi had asked it as a question, both Kakashi and I knew it was an order.

Without saying a word, Kakashi stood and threw me over his shoulder like he used to when I was a kid. "Hey! Let me go, you scarecrow!" I shouted in indignity, but of course he ignored me.

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"Shisui have you seen Yanagi?" An irritated voice asked. Both Itachi and Shisui turned around to face Obito. To their complete surprise he was covered head to toe in honey; stray coils of ninja wire still wrapped around random places of his body.

Shisui blinked, "Uh... Obito-senpai? What happened to you?" The Uchiha with long eyelashes asked, shocked to see his former Konoha Police mentor so... gooey.

Obito was too busy glaring past the two men at the third in their company, who was trying to act as casual as he could. Itachi and Shisui followed the older Uchiha's gaze to Sasuke. Itachi frowned a little, obviously making the connection between Obito's honeyed state and his little brother's poorly accomplished innocent expression. "Sasuke, did you do this?" The Uchiha Prodigy asked in a passive voice.

Sasuke, who could never lie when around his brother, looked down guiltily. Everyone could practically feel Obito's killer intent spike. Itachi dropped his stoic facade to glare at his cousin, not liking the potential threat to his little brother.

Shisui on the other hand was staring at Sasuke with his head tilted. He really couldn't understand why Sasuke would do something like that, especially when it was uncalled for. As far as Shisui knew, Obito and Sasuke had never talked except in passing. And any Uchiha would have to be insane to actually prank the Uchiha Prankster.

"Where. Is. Yanagi?" Obito growled at Sasuke. Itachi twitched, obviously wanted to step between Obito and his brother, but refrained. Neither would appreciate his interference. And Itachi really didn't want to suffer through another prank of Obito's.

He was still finding feathers in his room from all those damn chickens.

Sasuke stared defiantly up at Obito, obviously not scared of the goofiest Uchiha. Shisui had to admit that the kid had guts. Obito was one hot tempered Uchiha, only bested by his younger sister Yanagi. Hell, when Yanagi was on a rampage even Shisui stayed well out of her warpath. That woman had no respect for anyone, not her brother and guardian, not her clan leader... there were times when Shisui doubted that even the Hokage received Yanagi's respect.

"Kakashi, put me down damn it!"

Well speak of the devil.

Shisui grinned as Obito spun in his gooey glory to glare at Yanagi thrown over Kakashi's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The young woman struggled even harder when she spied her brother, "You little traitor. I'm going to burn your whole house down now!"

"Go right ahead, my books are in a fire proof safe." Kakashi returned drily before dumping Yanagi on the ground right in front of her glaring brother. Yanagi crossed her arms and glared right back at him. Shisui smiled at the sight of the two siblings glaring, they were so different from Itachi and Sasuke.

"I've got a perfectly good reason." Yanagi said defensively before Obito could get a word in.

"Oh I would _love _to hear this." Her brother growled back.

"My genin are idiots, but they're idiots who pass."

Itachi and Shisui exchanged slightly confused confused looks. They were both wondering the same thing, where in the world did Yanagi's genin team–Shisui didn't even know she had one–came into play with Sasuke pranking Obito?! Shisui caught Sasuke glaring hotly at Yanagi from behind Itachi and then it clicked.

Shisui laughed, bringing all attention to him, "Was this your teamwork building exercise, Yagi?" He asked, highly amused. As he suspected, Yanagi immediately clammed up the moment she saw Shisui. He should have known that Yanagi would use the excuse of teaching her genin teamwork to prank her brother.

^o^

Meh. I could continue the chapter, but I don't feel like it. And I really hate how this chapter came out, it's basically crack... :\

**~Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.**

BTW, have you ever noticed that all villains in Naruto have some kind of sad tale? What on earth does Kishimoto have against a downright evil antagonist?! I mean, even Madara and Danzo get sad heartrending tales! The only people that I can think of who are evil to the core are Kakuzu, Hidan and maybe Zabuza (although he turned good in the end, so that doesn't count). Seriously, why must Kishimoto kill us with feels? It's not FAIR! (Pay no attention to me... I was rewatching Danzo vs. Sasuke... I forgot about the flashback at the end... –_.._–)

Flamers Welcome!


	6. Shisui and D-ranks are Not Pleasent

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Ever hate that feeling when you want to write, but you're just not in the mood at the same time? Yeah... congrats to me for feeling that way.

BTW: I seriously hope I get Anko's personality right...

So someone said they weren't too thrilled with the way Yanagi treats Hinata... trust me, there is a reason for it. You see, I'm really focusing on character development in this story. On top of that, Yanagi is classified as an Antihero, so it's really in character for her to be mean to Hinata. It'll all be sorted out, don'tchya worry! ^^ I just thought I'd point this out in case anyone else had mixed feelings about it.

You know, it's pretty bad when you read a book and you keep picking up on hints that you've read it before, but you can't remember for the life of you... that's when you know you read too much. XP

vvv

"..."

"...'Sup?"

"..."

"..."

There was a quiet, slightly awkward, cough, "Do they do this a lot?" I heard Kurenai ask, her tone one of concern.

My brother sighed beside me, "You have no idea..." He grumbled. Without looking I landed my elbow in his side, "OUCH! Yanagi, that hurts." Obito yelled at me. Oh how I wanted to make a snappy comment; however a certain jerk sitting beside me, grinning devilishly, was preventing me from doing so. I settled for a dark look.

Shisui's grin widened when I returned my glare to him, "Awww... I was hoping I'd catch you talking. I haven't heard your melodious voice in _forever~_" He teased. I just continued to glare at him. Shisui pouted and looked over my head at a now snickering Obito, "Obito-senpai, your imoto is being mean!"

I went to punch Shisui, but Obito hooked a hand around my elbow, "No." He said sternly. Obito always did like Shisui, so I was never allowed to hit him when my brother was around.

I narrowed my eyes at the most skilled Uchiha, trying to tell him with my eyes how lucky he was that my brother was here to stop me from punching Shisui's lights out. Shisui seemed to get my message and ruffled my hair like when we were younger as he stood up, "See ya, Yagi!" The nickname set my teeth on edge and I would have hit him again, if Obito hadn't already guessed my intentions and wrapped an arm around my torso, keeping me in my seat. Shisui gave me another grin before bowing politely to the elite jounin sitting around the table, then he shunshined away like he was never there.

Stickin' shunshin master...

I crossed my arms, "Damn Uchiha... I hate him." I growled when I couldn't feel his chakra anymore. Obito and Kakashi seemed to be the only ones amused by my silent treatment towards Shisui.

"But I thought you said you _didn't_ hate him, imoto." Obito interjected.

"I don't!"

"You just said you did a minute ago."

"..."

"What, are you giving me the silent treatment now?" Obito teased. I glared at him hotly, I hated older brothers; that I would readily admit to. Obito leaned closer, a grin similar to Shisui's on his face.

My glare intensified as I leaned back, trying to put more personal space between us. My brother knew I hated people evading my personal space, and he used it to his advantage, "Outta my face or I'm going to steal your candy stash again." I threatened. Like a spring, Obito was sitting straight again, sending me a dirty look. I grinned back at him, the tables had turned.

Kurenai sighed, more used to Obito and my antics than my silent treatment towards Shisui, "Would you two stop?" She asked, her tone someone managing to stay between polite and exasperated. Only the Yuhi woman could accomplish such a tone.

Kakashi scoffed from his corner of the booth, his eyes still on his smutty literature. At least Obito knew when to stop reading. "Getting those two to stop is like getting-"

I butted in before he could finish, "Getting you to stop reading your porn?" I drawled. When Kakashi gave me a one eyed glare I grinned at him. Asuma and Kurenai tried to hide their chuckles while Obito didn't even bother. Kakashi slowly bookmarked his place and put the book away, still glaring at me.

"I _was_ going to say getting you to stop antagonizing your team." Kakashi said in an irritated tone that he usually reserved for Obito when my brother was being particularly annoying.

I scoffed, "They're a bunch of pansies, they get what they deserve." It was a lame defense, but then again Fugaku hadn't really been thinking when he put me as Sasuke's sensei. It would be his fault if his youngest son was mentally scarred when I got through with him. "Besides," I continued with my nose in the air, "the worst thing I have done was scare the shit out of that class when I yelled at those Uchiha brats."

Kurenai giggled, "Yes, I heard about that from Kiba. He said you reminded him of his mother."

"Shikamaru thinks you're very 'troublesome' too. Ino and Chouji looked a little shaken up about the whole thing." Asuma added, "I can't imagine how your team feels having you as a sensei."

I glared at the Sarutobi, slightly insulted, "How they feel about me does not matter," I paused for a moment then said with a sneer, "but... I'm pretty sure they're scared shitless. Especially the Hyuuga girl."

Obito sighed, "You're going to be the worst sensei ever..." He mumbled, rolled his eyes. No one said anything, but I could tell they agreed with him. Bunch of lackluster faithless jerks if you ask me.

Pursing my lips I turned to Kakashi, "So, how bad did your almost team fail?" I asked, changing the subject.

Kakashi gave me a look that told me he knew exactly what I was trying to do, but answered anyway, "Miserably, though I might take the Uchiha kid on as a personal student. He was the only one smart enough to figure it out." Obito and I perked up at the mention of our clan name.

"Uchiha? Who?" Obito questioned, leaning towards his best friend/rival.

Kakashi shrugged, "Some kid named Netsui. He has a twin sister who was placed on another team."

My brother and I exchanged looks. We knew who Kakashi was talking about. Having twins in the clan was extremely rare, so Netsui and Nerai were considered something special. "Why didn't they place Nerai on your team, Kakashi-baka? Netsui and Nerai have a lot of combo attacks that could be useful." Obito commented. Kakashi only shrugged again and I rolled my eyes, seeing that he was reading Icha Icha under the table. I was sorely tempted to 'accidentally' spill my drink on Kakashi and see if I could ruin his book.

Before I could attempt anything, Anko suddenly appeared carrying a plate of dango, "Yo my bitches! What boring conversation are you- HEY!" Anko shouted when Obito and I simultaneously nabbed a dango stick from Anko's plate and stuffed them in our mouths before Anko could snatch them back. Everyone at the table sighed.

The snake mistress glared at us, "You're lucky that I love you two, or you'd be dead... _pigs_." She growled.

Kurenai shook her head, "You should know better than to bring sweets around Obito and his sister." She scolded lightly. Anko was still glaring at us as she grabbed her last dango stick and popped the first dumpling in her mouth. Kakashi was just giving the both of us dry looks that practically screamed, 'you nimrods'.

What can I say, when it came to anything containing sugar, Obito and I were on it like white on rice.

"Mm," I waved my now empty dango stick around as I chewed on the last dumpling. Swallowing I continued, "did you know that Sasuke doesn't like sweets?" I commented. The look of absolute horror on Obito's face was priceless. Anko, who was almost as bad of a sugar junkie as Obito and I, looked almost as horrified. The rest of the jounin were too busy trying not to laugh at Obito's expression, myself included.

"What Uchiha doesn't like sweets?!" Obito shouted, gaining a few looks from the patrons in the tea house where the six of us were relaxing.

I shrugged at my Nii-san's question, "Apparently the second son to Fugaku. I tried to be nice and share my candy with him yesterday, but he said he didn't like sweets." I got more surprised faces, but this time for a completely different reason.

"You... offered to share candy with someone?" Anko asked. There was a brief pause before she slapped her hand to my forehead, "Nope, you ain't got a fever. Were you blackmailed into doing it then?" I glared and slapped her hand away.

"Hey, I was trying to 'bond' with my students. With that hodgepodge of weirdos, I need to find some resemblance of sanity before I forget what it looks like." I snapped sarcastically. I then turned to glare at Asuma and Kurenai, "How well does your students get along with each other?" I asked, though I already knew what they were going to say.

The not-quite-yet-couple glanced at each other, probably silently communicating like the old married couple they should be. "Well..." Kurenai started hesitantly, "Kiba has some kind of one sided rivalry going on with Shino, but it's nothing too bad; and Sakura yells at Kiba a lot for being too... I think she said 'Naruto-like'." I snorted at that one. This Kiba brat must be annoying indeed if he was compared to _Naruto_.

Asuma shrugged when I turned to him, "Ino acts the same way as Sakura, she gets fed up with Shikamaru's lazy habits. She also tries to boss the boys around every so often, but Shikamaru and Chouji just go along with it. They're all very laid back."

"You lucky jerks." I whined.

Obito glared at me, "You're team seems to have good teamwork, stop complaining." My brother growled. I laughed at him. No doubt he was remembering yesterday and the honey. I'd still be in the doghouse if I hadn't thought ahead and bought Obito two weeks worth of candy. In our house, candy equaled instant forgiveness, no matter how bad the crime was.

"But they're still idiots. Hinata looks like she's going to faint half the time and Naruto is either trying to physically fight me or Sasuke. And Sasuke is trying to act cool and-" My eyes casually flicked up to the small clock hanging on the back wall of the tea shop. I stiffened when I realized the time. "Shit! My team has a mission!" I cursed and literally vaulted over my brother in my hurry to get away. The group of jounin laughed as I tore out of the tea house in a fury to beat my team to our meeting point.

The last thing I needed was my team complaining about me being late.

vvv

"You're late." Sasuke said dully when I came skidding to a halt five minutes before the time I had given my team. Luckily my cousin was the only one there. My biggest worry had been the loud mouth blonde. Naruto would never let me live it down if I had been late.

I glared at the navy haired Uchiha as I tried to catch my breath, "Not a... word." I panted.

Sasuke smirked, "What will I get out of it?" He asked smugly. Damn it, he was catching on.

"Name your price." I said in all seriousness.

My cousin's smirk grew wider, "I want to know why you won't talk to Shisui." Damn it all, this brat was learning too quick! I was expecting him to name his favorite food and make me buy it like Obito usually did, not information.

"HA! I'M EARLY, SO I'M NOT LATE!" Naruto shouted then as he came running up to us, saving me from a conversation I didn't want to have. By the looks of his disheveled state, it was clear that he would have been late if he hadn't hauled ass.

I looked around as was surprised to see Hinata standing slightly behind the two boys. I raised an eyebrow, I hadn't even noticed her come up. There was no way of knowing if she was early or on time. Mentally I made a note to bump up Hinata to more advance stealth training before I pulled out the mission scroll, "Okay, first D-ranked mission of the day is... babysitting twins."

I don't know who groaned louder: me or Naruto.

vvv

Naruto and I came to the mutual agreement to ditch the brats with Hinata and Sasuke. I was already struggling not to kill myself by just dealing with three preteens, I didn't need two five year olds to add to the list. Naruto just didn't like small kids in general.

Hinata, not surprisingly, took care of her brat quite well. The five year old seemed quite taken with the shy Hyuuga heiress. I was sorely tempted to make a comment about Hinata's future abilities at motherhood, but decided against it knowing she would just faint. Sasuke fared okay. After a few tantrums, the brat quieted down knowing that Sasuke wasn't going to deal with any of his crap. As Hinata and Sasuke wondered around Konoha with their kids in tow, Naruto and I followed behind them talking aimlessly about our favorite foods. When I said I didn't like ramen, Naruto nearly had a heart attack, which was amusing to Sasuke and I. The twins looked confused as to why Naruto was on the ground twitching while Hinata was stuttering up a storm trying to talk to the comatose blonde.

At noon we returned the twins to their parents and I dragged my team with me to clean Nekobaa's house. This time it was Hinata and Naruto that did all the work while Sasuke and I visited with the Uchiha weapons supplier. Nekobaa and I were mostly content in teasing Sasuke about his little paw challenge that Itachi-san had given him when they were younger. Sasuke didn't seem to mind all that much, though he did glare at me for quite a while. Naturally, being Uchiha, Sasuke and I were overrun by cats demanding for attention. Of course Naruto flubbed it up when, after seeing Sasuke and I casually petting the ever present cats, tried to pet one too.

I probably should have told him that only members of the Uchiha clan were allowed to touch the cats.

Needless to say, Naruto got his ass handed to him by a house cat. Hinata then did another swooning/stuttering episode as she tried to talk to the once again unconscious Naruto. Sasuke and I just enjoyed ourselves again.

After the mission with Nekobaa, I took my team to help clean out an old abandoned building that was going to be torn down soon. Hinata and I sat this mission out as the boys used their 'muscles' to move old rotten crates and other decrepit treasures that were buried in the corners of the warehouse. I tried to cure Hinata of her stuttering problem in that time, but I only succeeded in lessening how much she stuttered by a few seconds before Naruto once again caused disaster.

I tried to make the man who owned the building see the bright side: now he would have to pay the demolition teams anything, since Naruto flattened the building like a bug.

I'm still not sure how he did that...

At sunset I lead Team 7 back to the Missions Assignment Office to hand in the reports of the missions. Of all of them, the babysitting mission had gone the smoothest. It was the only one that didn't fail due to destruction of private property. I was starting to worry that all our missions would fail as bad. One lecture from the Hokage about mission effectiveness later, Hiruzen dismissed us and Team 7 dispersed into the growing dusk, each heading to their own home.

Sasuke and I walked back together in silence, far enough apart that we wouldn't brush up against each other as we walked. I was starting to get a feeling that this was going to be a regular thing.

"You never did tell me why you don't speak to Shisui." Sasuke commented out of the blue.

I glared into the distance. Damn it I had been hoping he had forgotten about that. When I didn't say anything he continued, "I asked Shisui yesterday, but he only laughed it off and changed the subject. Aniki said you two used to be good friends."

"What happened to the glaring boy who first introduced himself?" I asked dryly.

"He got curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

Sasuke finally glared at me before smirking, "And satisfaction brought it back."

I twitched in irritation. This kid had been hanging around Obito and Shisui too much if he was starting to quote those two goofballs. I started picking up my pace, making the Uchiha brat have to jog to keep up with me, "I don't have to explain anything to you. It's private."

Sasuke shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, "Fine. I'll tell Naruto that you were late today. I imagine he'll stop teasing you about it... when you're in your grave. Maybe not though."

It was hard resisting the urge to smack the boy upside the head like I would Nii-san or Shisui when they started blackmailing me. You don't blackmail the Blackmail Queen and get away with it, it was simply unheard of. I thought frantically of a way to get out of the mess I had created and cursed the fact that I didn't have any blackmail to hold over Sasuke.

Oh wait...

I smirked evilly down at him, enjoying the sight of Sasuke tensing up in anxiety. I already had the Uchiha brat trained so well, "Go ahead and tell Naruto," I started nonchalantly with a shrug of my own. My eyes gleamed as I grinned sadistically, "but don't come whining to me when people start asking if you and the blonde brat are dating... That kiss was so _romantic._ I wonder what your family will think."

My little cousin's complexion turned from white to green to red in under two seconds. I laughed loudly and reached down to ruffle his duckass hair, ignoring his rather impressive glare, "Never try to blackmail the Blackmail Queen, I have that nickname for a reason. I know every embarrassing secret about everyone. Now drop the subject and you'll maintain your dignity."

"I will find out one day." Sasuke said stubbornly.

I held out my hands, palms facing upwards, and shrugged to show how much I cared, "Sure... maybe you will." I said in a soothing tone, the kind that parents got when their child failed at something and was bawling their eyes out.

Another glare from the boy, "Don't patronize me."

"Then don't leave yourself open."

"You're annoying."

"I've heard it all before, brat. Keep it coming."

"Aniki says you don't respect anyone."

"I don't respect people for who they are born as. They _earn_ my respect." I snapped, a little more harshly than I intended.

Sasuke was silent after that, his young face hard with contemplation. I eyed the boy as we reached the Uchiha Compound. I knew Sasuke was smart–he should be after having a genius for an older brother–so it wasn't much of a surprise that he would think before he spoke. Still that expression on his face didn't belong on the twelve year old's face; one could hardly expect an adult to think so deeply, let alone a child. I did the only thing I could do.

I swatted him upside the head.

"HEY!" Sasuke yelped and glared at me as he rubbed the back of his head. I pulled my cousin in a choke hold and ground my first knuckle into his temple, like Obito used to do to me when I was younger.

"You're still a brat and I still don't like you, but stop trying to over think things. Didn't you learn anything from your first teamwork exercise?" I asked. Sasuke glared at me for the reminder about his understated 'clue'. I laughed and pushed in away from me, "Go home and bother your 'aniki,' brat." I said cheerfully and started to turn away before I remembered something.

"Oh..." I looked over my shoulder at Sasuke who froze on spot, probably thinking I was going to say something evil, "and if Shisui ever gives you trouble, just ask him about his nineteenth birthday." I said with a wink. I shunshined away, leaving the poor kid frowning in confusion.

^o^

Eh, I don't know where the last part came from... but I just don't want to rush into the series like the canon did. Seriously, episode 6 and already we're on the Land of Waves arc. I'm debating with going ahead and starting the Wave arc or filling the story out more... maybe I'll go with the latter and do some character development.

You know what I hate? When people who don't update a story for months (sometimes even years) because they're 'too busy'. I mean, yeah, I get it if it's a once in a while thing or whatever, I do it too; but _Every. Single. Time_ is just pushing it. If you're going to write a story and publish it on the internet for other people to read at least TRY to make an effort in publishing a chapter more than once a year! For instance: I am a full time college student with classes that demand a lot of my time (trust me they aren't easy), I also have a job. I like to read a lot and spend time with my family. Yet I **STILL** somehow find the time to focus on my stories so that I publish a chapter for a story once a week. Somehow I manage to do this, make 'A's and 'B's in college, focus on my job, read in my spare time, and remain in contact with my family so I'm not a total shut in. I'm not saying that everyone should write their stories religiously, but still at least try to make more of an effort before you start losing your readers' interest.

Meh, don't listen to me rant, it's not healthy kiddies.

**~It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?**

You ask why I welcome flames? BECAUSE I CAN ROAST MARSHMELLOWS OVER THEM AND MAKE S'MORSE! Also I'm a pyromaniac... that's also a thing. XD


	7. Hypocrite thy name is-

Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Naruto... yet. *evil grin*

I swear this story is just my vent for releasing all the sarcasm I keep buried inside... XP I should have done this a long time ago!

Ever get a weird smell that you can't identify and you don't know where it's coming from?

**So I had 3 yeses to 1 no in keeping Netsui in the story. Now you'll know what happens to him. ^^**

Nothing like rewatching Naruto and seeing all the lovely hidden fluffies between the now canon pairings. It kills me inside! ^/^

_Speaking of fluffies,_ I've got something to tell my lovely readers. Okay so recently I've been getting quite a bit of reviews mentioning pairings, which is fantastic and all; but let me just say this, there will be no fluffies until Shipuuden. Well... not romantic fluffies with the true 'leading male role'. There will probably be cutesy stuff because I won't be able to control myself. XP Anyway, I'm focusing on the plot of this story more so than romance, so you'll have to be patient and enjoy the story before you get true fluffy. Another thing, I don't mind pairing guesses, but there is no way I'm telling you the pairing I have in mind! Mwahahahahahaha! Three people in the _world_ other than myself know the true pairing and they have promised not to share (I just hope they stick with it. ;3).

vvv

_Mission One: Retrieve cat from tree_

_Rank: D-rank_

_Team: Team 7_

_Complete: yes_

_Overview from Sensei: Team arrived on site for the mission and evaluated the situation. Sasuke shows signs of a adept strategist as he relayed a plan to his teammates on how to get the cat out of the tree. Hinata appears to be a good follower, as she completed every task Sasuke gave her. Naruto, however, shows that he is neither a good leader or a good follower. Disregarding both mine and Sasuke's orders, Naruto created kage bushin to climb up and retrieve the cat alone. Both Naruto and the tree were injured and the cat traumatized._

…

_Mission Two: Grocery Shopping for the Chief Councilor's Wife (time limit: 2 hours)_

_Rank: D-rank_

_Team: Team 7_

_Complete: no_

_Overview from Sensei: Hinata took action by dividing up the long list of groceries between the three genin to save time. Sasuke shows excellent signs of being a follower when it is needed. He finished his section in record time and had the foresight to retrieve items not on the list but were still necessary. Hinata was only moments behind Sasuke in completing her tasks. Naruto go sidetracked by ramen and thus failed the time crucial mission._

…

_Mission Three: Weeding the Public Gardens_

_Rank: D-Rank_

_Team: Team 7_

_Complete: no_

_Overview from Sensei: Sasuke and Hinata did alright. They successfully finished their sections of the gardens and disposed of the weeds properly. Hinata was even able to give advice about plant upkeep to the caretakers. Naruto pulled everything, plant and weed, from his sections. Half of his paycheck has been cut to go to the whiny plant caretakers._

…

_Mission Four: Cleaning Nekobaa's House_

_Rank: D-rank_

_Team: Team 7_

_Overview from Sensei: An almost replica of the team's first mission to clean Nekobaa's hut. Sasuke and Hinata applied their ninja skills to complete their tasks faster. Naruto once again upset the cats and made another mess. Thankfully Nekobaa was not too upset._

…

_Mission Five: Babysitting_

_Rank: D-Rank_

_Team: Team 7_

_Complete: yes_

_Overview from Sensei: Naruto shouldn't be allowed around children. He somehow traumatized the little brat... and not by means that you are thinking of._

_..._

_Mission Six: Gardening for Lady Jin_

_Rank: D-Rank_

_Team: Team 7_

_Complete: no_

_Overview from Sensei: I'M STARTING TO THINK THIS IS A CRUEL JOKE, HOKAGE!_

I shoved the reports away from me and tossed the pen down. I needed a break. It was only my official second day of being a jounin sensei and already I needed a break. I was going to go insane if I had to spend another minute around those three brats!

"YANAGI-SENSEI!" A voice I knew too well, and didn't like at all, shouted from the front door. The brat was loud enough that I could hear his voice even from the back of the house. Cursing I started to get up to answer it when the worst happened.

Obito.

Met.

Naruto.

"HEY LOUD-MOUTH BRAT! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH BEFORE I FIND AWAY TO STITCH IT CLOSED! I'M _TRYING _TO WRITE REPORTS!" Obito roared and I cringed at the sound of his loud voice bouncing off the walls of our house. Fugaku really didn't think things through when he thought that a two bedroom house was enough for the infamous Uchiha hotheads.

"SAY THAT TO MY FACE!" Naruto, of course, yelled back. Luckily his voice was a little muffled so I didn't go _completely_ deaf then and there.

Nii-san cursed rather loudly and I could hear him stomping towards the front door. Well crap, now I had to deal with two idiots under the same roof. I groaned from my seat, not having yet bothered to move and separate the two before things could escalate. Why oh _why_ was I cursed to live with a difficult brother and have to teach the loudest brat I had ever known in existence? Even if I was the worst kind of insane homicidal psychopath in a past life, I doubted that I deserved this fate.

Whoever told Naruto where I lived, I was going to murder them in the most horrific way.

"Hey! You're that guy we had to prank." I could hear Naruto saying as I heard the sliding door slam open. Oh crap. I forgot about that prank! Scrambling out of my seat I rushed into the main room just in time to see Obito glowering down at my student. At least he wasn't killing him... yet.

Obito, to say the least, didn't look pleased at all, "Kid, you've got three seconds to get off my property." Naruto had better thank his lucky stars that he was the son of Minato-san; otherwise I doubted that the blonde brat would be standing there for very long. Predictably, a very long and very loud argument between the two knuckleheads started.

I sighed as I thought about my options. Option one: Do nothing and let Obito and Naruto dislike each other. It might be a good thing, since they wouldn't bother me as much when they were too busy yelling at each other. However, two extremely loud people shouting at each other was a sure ticket to migraines. Option two: Make them like each other. If Nii-san got along well enough with Naruto then they would probably go pranking together and get out of my hair for a few hours. The downside was that I would have to deal with Naruto more often. My choice was clear.

After retrieving Obito's wallet from his room, I chucked it at my brother and hit him on the back of his head. Obito spun around to glare at me, "What the hell is wrong with you?!" He snapped.

I glared back at him, "Stop giving me headaches and go bond with your Mini-me. Buy ramen or whatever." I dismissed with a wave of my hand.

"_Mini-me?! _He's (I'm) not my (his) Mini-me!" Obito and Naruto shouted at the same time, in the exact same offended voice. I laughed at their expressions as horror came over their faces and they glanced at each other. Everything was in perfect sync, it was very creepy but amusing at the same time. I just gave the two a knowing smirk. It was so obvious that Nii-san and the Kyuubi brat were alike, and they just kept proving it by mimicking each other.

I turned to Naruto as the two came to terms with their sudden likeness, "How'd you get here? I know someone told you, who were they?" I asked sternly.

Naruto was still too busy giving Obito a nasty glare, which was returned tenfold, to answer me. It wasn't until I reached around my brother and yanked harshly on Naruto's ear that the blonde finally looked at me, "Ai ai ai! Frizzy-sensei! Don't _pulllll!_" He whined. I stiffened at the nickname and Obito burst out laughing.

"Frizzy...sensei?" I asked, my tone turning dangerously. My hair, I admit, was unruly–even more so than Shisui's–but you never _ever _tease a woman about her appearance. Especially a hot tempered woman like me. Uchiha women were naturally beautiful, with their long flowing hair and dark intelligent eyes; I knew I wasn't on par with them, and I was extra volatile about my appearance because of that.

The kid seemed to understand that he was in deep trouble now as he squirmed in my grip. He kept apologizing over and over. I just pinched his earlobe harder in a warning before letting go. The brat danced from foot to foot, both hands clasped to his injured ear, wailing about how much it hurt. Obito snickered the whole time, finding amusement in what he normally did when Rin pulled on _his_ ear.

I shot my brother a meaningful look and thankfully Obito caught my meaning and shoved Naruto out the door, "Come on, ya brat. I'm hungry and my imoto will only murder you if you stay here." My brother drawled. Naruto made no complaints, probably hoping that Obito would take pity on the blonde and feed him.

Rolling my eyes at the stupidity of those around me, I shut the door and went back to my room. I needed to finish those stupid mission reports.

Someone murder me now.

vvv

"OBITO!" A voice shouted and I groaned, letting my head fall onto my desk. Was I never to have a moment's peace to myself without some loud mouth idiot coming to ruin it?! Though, granted the person yelling now wasn't a loud mouth...

He was just extremely pissed.

I glared at Kakashi the minute I walked into the main room, "Honestly, Kakashi, you have no room to yell at Obito-nii for lateness. You do it yourself!" I snapped as my way to say hello.

"Where is he?"

"Out distracting Naruto so I can do reports."

"Did he finish his?"

I shrugged, "He was working on his reports until Naruto came along. By the way, do you know who told Naruto where we live? 'Cause I sure as hell didn't!" I eyed Kakashi suspiciously, thinking maybe he had something to do with it; but I turned the thought down immediately. The only association Kakashi had with Naruto was through Minato-san. And besides, neither Obito or I had warranted the revenge of the Copy-nin... yet.

Kakashi also shrugged, his temporary anger already dissipating. I don't know how Kakashi managed to go through the emotional spectrum so fast. Normally the only thing that could rile the white haired shinobi up was Obito, and Kakashi's anger usually went away after a few minutes. I on the other hand could hold grudges for a long time.

...Five years in fact...

I rolled my eyes when Kakashi didn't say anything and walked past him to shut the door; Kakashi had a bad habit of leaving doors open when it wasn't his own house. I turned back to my brother figure after I locked the door. Seriously, living in a shinobi village... and we had a cheap lock on the door. Both Obito and I were powerful in the clan, bested only by Itachi and Shisui, so I didn't understand why Obito installed the lock in the first place. Besides, what good what it do? If anyone was determined enough, a lock wasn't going to stop them.

"Any particular reason why you came to yell for my brother? Or are you just making sure he's not being lazy?" I asked Kakashi.

Kakashi fell back into his laid-back persona and chuckled sheepishly, "A little bit of both actually." He said, scratching the back of his head. I huffed, of course he was. I raised an eyebrow and waited for Kakashi to elaborate, "Obito promised Rin and me that he would meet us at the BBQ today at noon." I checked the time. It was almost four in the afternoon, only an hour since Obito left to distract Naruto.

I rolled my eyes, "And you're only now coming to yell at him? I think you're a _tad_ late yourself, Kakashi." My brother figure shrugged as if it was okay when _he_ was the one that was late.

Hypocrite.

"Fine. Since you're here, you're going to treat me to dinner. No exceptions." I said and pulled Kakashi out of the house. Had it been Obito, he would have whined about being forced to come, but Kakashi just chuckled at my controlling nature. _He_ had long since learned that when I put my mind to something, I was the most stubborn thing alive.

A few minutes later found the two of us in an Akimichi restaurant. The Akimichi clan was famous for owning several restaurants around Konoha as well as being a ninja clan. Many clans had civilian sideline profits that could be used for shinobi means; it was almost rare not to. The Akimichi were into restaurants, but they also made most of Konoha's standard ration bars and mission food supplies. The Yamanaka clan owns chains of flower shops and provided shinobi with poisons and herbs. The Uchiha worked as police for civilians but they could easily switch to being an army if the need arose. There were various ways the clans could help Konoha's civilian population; it was a complex system smoothed out from years of experimenting.

Except the Hyuuga clan, they were just a bunch of freeloaders.

"So did you ever decide if you were going to personally train that Uchiha kid or not?" I asked as Kakashi pulled down his mask to enjoy his dinner. The two of us were in a private booth so there were no worries about people seeing Kakashi's face. Since I had been practically raised by Kakashi as well as Obito, it was inevitable that I would see the Copy-nin unmasked so Kakashi never truly bothered to hide his face from me. Plus it always helped that I had threatened to reveal pictures of him unmasked to the fangirl population if he ever tried to hide his face from me.

That was my first ever blackmail and I found pride in it.

Kakashi held up a finger as he finished chewing on his mouthful of broiled saury. I was just happy that he didn't talk with his mouth full like Nii-san did, the uncouth pig. "I'm still debating." He said nonchalantly when he swallowed. Code for: _I haven't decided to retire from ANBU Corps yet._ "What do you think I should do?" Kakashi added, almost in afterthought.

"Mmm... when I talked to Sasuke about it, he said that Netsui was one of the top genin. It seems unfair that he would fail just because his team has no concept of teamwork." I tapped my chopsticks against my bowl of Nikujaga as I thought. There were really only two options for Netsui. He could always go into the Genin Corps and work his way slowly up in ranks, but that would take time and it was unheard of for an Uchiha to do so. Or he could snag a jounin master and learn privately, which could go one of two ways: having a Uchiha clansmen help or a random jounin. A non-clansmen wouldn't be any good anyway, since they couldn't teach Netsui how to master his Sharingan if it developed; and getting an Uchiha to be Netsui's master could be problematic in the sense that Konoha would think the clan was beginning to conspire again. That was a fate I wished to avoid at all costs.

I might have no love for the clan, but I still didn't want it to be wiped out like it almost was.

A sudden flick in the forehead startled me out of my musings. Kakashi rolled his eye as he sat back, "Stop plotting and tell me what you're thinking." He said dryly. I giggled a little. Because of his sharingan gift from Obito, Kakashi was one of the few outsiders that was close to the Uchiha clan so he knew all about our tendency to over think things.

Quickly I explained my thoughts about Netsui's future. Even though he kept a relaxed posture Kakashi seemed to listen intently to my reasoning, I could tell by the sharp glint in his eye. That was one reason why I liked Kakashi. He didn't think that because I was female, even if I was an Uchiha, that I didn't know anything. I might not have Itachi-san's ability to think up plans _years_ in advance and predict every possible outcome, but I still had a sharp mind and I put it to use. Kakashi _knew_ that.

Kakashi's single visible eyebrow pulled down low over his nose and his mouth turned downwards in a frown as he came to the same conclusion I did. If Kakashi didn't do anything, Netsui would be isolated from the clan and saw as a failure like Obito had been when he refused to take his sharingan back from Kakashi. The Uchiha clan didn't look kindly on failures; our ruthlessness was one of the aspects that made us stronger than most clans. Kind hearted fools had better be powerful or else they were cut off. It was one thing that would never change, even with the clan's change of heart we would be ruthless to the end.

A heavy silence fell over our booth as I waited for Kakashi to speak. I knew Kakashi was going through all his options carefully, trying to see every possible outcome. Kakashi didn't run headfirst into things, he was levelheaded and logical. If I pushed him now he would probably read wrongly into my motives, thinking that I might have an ulterior motive in regards to Netsui's future. I would have to be patient and wait for Kakashi's answer.

Finally my brother figure groaned, "No offense... but your clan sucks." He said resigned.

I laughed, "No offense taken, I think the same thing." I said lightly and turned back to my Nikujaga. A different kind of silence descended on us, this one more peaceful now that matters were resolved and Netsui wasn't in danger of becoming an outcast like my brother.

Of course, Kakashi in all his nosy glory had to ask, "Why are you so interested in the kid anyway? He's not related directly to you like Sasuke."

"Because," I said seriously, giving my brother figure a hard stare, "I don't want anyone to end up like Obito. People still look down on Nii-san, even though he is the third most powerful in the clan. I... I don't want anyone to suffer like he has." I finished in a whisper, staring down at my bowl of sweet beef. Suddenly it didn't look all that appealing anymore. I admit it, for all my ranting about Obito and for all the times I claimed I didn't like him, I was still his younger sister. And little sister had to look up to their brothers, especially when their brother was the person who raised them.

Kakashi shifted in his seat, probably extremely uncomfortable. The Copy-nin never really did handle emotions well, there was a reason why one of his ANBU nicknames was the 'Hot and Cold Kakashi.' But hey, at least I wasn't crying.

Kakashi _freaked_ when a girl cried near him.

"Maa... doesn't Netsui have a twin?" Kakashi asked, discomfort coloring his voice a little. I knew he would change the subject. Kakashi trying to get away from sensitive topics was about as certain as Gai connecting any conversation to youth in some fashion.

So forgive me if I couldn't help but snort a little at his predictability, "Yeah. Nerai has good medical skills, best in her class from what I hear. Can you talk to Rin and see if she is willing to sponsor Nerai?" Nerai was easy to deal with, it was Netsui that I was concerned about. The Uchiha clan was always harder on their men than the women.

Bunch of sexist pricks.

Without waiting for Kakashi's reply I stood and threw some yen down on the table, "You can go read your porn now, Hentai-nii. I'm through bothering you for the day." I said teasingly. Kakashi's expression was not a happy one to say the least.

But that was what made things fun.

vvv

I barely sat down at my desk, prepared to finished up those stupid mission reports even if it killed me, when there was loud banging at the front door... _again._ I was never going to win! Growling curses and muttering of all the ways I could kill whoever was at the door, going as far as to specify what I would do with their severed fingers and toes, I went to answer the door.

"What the hell do you want?" I growled as I slammed the door open then froze when I saw who was standing at my door.

I blinked.

And blinked again.

Fugaku did _not_ look amused at all. "We have been summoned to the Hokage's office. Let's go." He said in that gruff voice of his before he shunshined away.

I stood there for a moment, stunned that the Uchiha clan leader would have actually come to my door. If Fugaku ever needed something from either Obito or I, he would send one of his little minions to fetch us, not come personally. Whatever he wanted, it was serious if it could get his royal ass within ten meters of our house. Out of sheer curiosity, and nothing else, I followed after my clan leader and went to the Hokage's Office.

I sincerely wished I hadn't.

The moment I stepped into Hiruzen's office I knew I was in trouble. Not only was Fugaku standing off to the side, glaring at me like he always did, but across the room the Hyuuga clan leader also stood, giving me the same glare.

If it wasn't for the different colored eyes, I'd say they were related.

Ignoring the two arrogant clan leaders, I focused my attention on the highly amused Hokage, "You wished to see me, Hokage-sama?" I asked, my tone perfectly polite. From the aura darkening around Fugaku, I knew it irritated him. I had to keep the smirk off my face. Annoy my clan leader by being polite: check.

The Hokage seemed to know what I was doing, since he shook his head disappoint but that didn't make his small smile go away. The Hyuuga spoke instead of the Hokage though, "The matter of my daughter."

"What about her?" I demanded, not even pretending to be polite. I might not like the Uchiha clan, but like any Uchiha with even an ounce of loyalty, I automatically detested the Hyuuga.

The Hyuuga clan leader, whatever his name was, twitched at the blatant disrespect. I smirked at him, Uchiha may be traditional, but we had nothing on those white eyed weirdos. The Hokage sighed, "Please, do not antagonize, Uchiha Yanagi." He said tiredly. I bowed low in a false apology and didn't say anything. Fugaku and Hiruzen knew that was the best they were going to get out of me and didn't press the subject.

"Lord Hokage, why did you put Hinata on a team with two Uchiha?" Hyuuga Prick Number 1 asked, completely ignoring Fugaku and me like we didn't exist. I rolled my eyes, this was why the Uchiha found no love in the Hyuuga. You couldn't find another clan that had so many jackasses in it anywhere else in the world. Not even the Uchiha clan could compete with the Hyuuga in that.

Hiruzen didn't react at all. He just looked at the Hyuuga and said in an almost scolding tone, "Hyuuga Hiashi, please calm down." Even though it was polite, anyone could tell that the Hokage was ordering Hiashi to shut the hell up. Hiashi's face twisted with displeasure, but he didn't dare go against the Hokage.

The old man took a long draw on his ever present pipe before saying, "It is that attitude that makes this team arrangement necessary." Oh dear heaven above, here we go... another long winded speech, "For years the Uchiha have been oppressed because of their ancestors actions. People often forget that the Uchiha were one of the founding clans of Konoha. It was the Uchiha clan that kept Konoha safe in the first few years, along with the Senju clan, but now they are treated with suspicion. After the Kyuubi attack, people began to distrust the Uchiha even more, until the point that the Uchiha nearly started a coup."

"That is exactly why we shouldn't let the Uchiha teach our children!" Hiashi snapped.

"Hey!" I shouted and took a menacing step forward, how _dare_ that insufferable prick accuse me of brainwashing the genin, but Fugaku held me back. From the tightness of his grip I knew that, for once, my clan leader and I were in agreement with something.

The Hokage gave the three of us a steely look that reminded us of the war leader he had been, not the harmless grandfatherly type that he appeared to be now. Even though I had only been seven when the Third Shinobi War had ended, it was enough to know just how frightening Hiruzen could be when he wanted.

When we had calmed down enough not to attack each other, Hiruzen continued, "It is because the Uchiha almost revolted that we should have Uchiha teaching genin." Cue the 'I'm confused but I'm sure as not showing it in front of my enemy' look from Hiashi. Hell, I was a little confused too. The Hokage smiled slightly, "The Uchiha lost trust in Konoha, that is why they almost attacked. Had it not been for certain parties to intervene, I doubt that the Uchiha would be alive today." Of the few people who knew about the attempted Uchiha coup only a handful knew that Itachi and Shisui were the ones who stopped it. And none of them were Hiashi. "It was clear that such an event could possibly happen again in the future if nothing was done. Konoha, as well as the Uchiha clan, had to change for the better if we were to prevent something of that scale again. What better way to clear away the dark past then to instill a new future into the minds of the next generation?

"As for your daughter; it is a simple attempt to bring the Uchiha clan closer to the others. In the past, both before Konoha and after it was built, the Uchiha clan has always stood alone. They never relied on alliances with other clans. I believe that if they were to open their arms and welcome the friendship of other clans, they would be even stronger than they are now." I noticed that Fugaku was standing a little straighter behind me and I had to swallow the urge to laugh at his pride. The Hokage was playing these two old warthogs like a fiddle, and expertly too. "Clan alliances always work best in teamwork. Take the Akimichi, Yamanaka, and Nara clans. Any team that contains members of those clans are known to have the best teamwork. Just imagine what the Hyuuga and Uchiha could accomplish together."

Both clan members gave each other appeasing looks, as if both were trying to figure the benefits they would get being allies. I raised a knowing eyebrow at the Hokage while the old farts were busy eyeing each other like sacks of meat. Hiruzen only chuckled under his breath and gave me a quick wink, so fast had I blinked I would have never seen it.

"So... does this mean I can get back to my team? I have torture to dish out." I asked, half joking. Okay, so _not_ the best thing to say in front of the three men who were fathers, or a grandfather figure in the Hokage's case, to my precious little genin.

I don't think even Obito can ever achieve the evil looks I got from those three.

^o^

I have a feeling that these chapters are long and pointless...

And now you know why Hinata is on Team 7 instead of Sakura. Plus I have another reason which will be explained later on.

You know what I've noticed? Sasuke is a spoiled brat, both in the series and in the studio. Not only does he get a BAJILLION chances to come back to Konoha (and not one other character _ever_ gets a second chance), but he also has more outfit changes in the whole series than any other character! Seriously, this guy got EIGHT (counting the outfits from The Last and the Epilogue) outfit changes; and I'm not even counting the clothes he wore in flashbacks! He's also the one who gets power ups and new jutsus every other fight. That's only supposed to be Naruto's gig since he's, ya know... _the protagonist!_ On top of the outfit changes, this prima donna Uchiha gets haircuts out the wazoo. First it's with the fringes, then the bangs, then the straight down thing when he's 30 (I kinda missed the duckbutt hair... ;_;) Sasuke you are a spoiled brat...

**~You laugh now because you're older than me by mere weeks, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?**

Anyway, flame friendly.


	8. Don't Mess with Yanagi

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Hmmm... I feel weird being home alone. I mean, yeah, I'm nineteen so I could take care of myself and everything... but it's still weird. :\ Doesn't help that I live out in the woods and have an over active imagination...

Anyway, this is a pure fun chapter because I want it to be! ^^ I promise this is the last chapter before we go back to canon-ish fun. I think ya'll got a good grasp on Yanagi's personality and her relationships with others, so now ON TO THE TRUE STORY... in the next chapter... XD

**YO! Semi-important thing for you to read! ^^ On my profile there is a list of stories and their summaries that are a work in progress. I'm curious of which one you want to read, SO if you could be a wonderful person and go read the choices then either vote on the poll I put up on my profile, or you can leave a review saying which one you want me to focus on! Thank you, now ONWARDS!**

vvv

"Damnit Yanagi, have you seen my goggles?" Obito asked frantically as he shunshined all over the house looking for those stupid things. I rolled my eyes and ignored him as I guzzled down my morning tea. I didn't need ruckus this early in the morning, especially not when I was going to have to deal with Naruto later on in the day. It was always the same. Obito was always able to find his goggles on any normal day, but the rare days that his team got called for missions was when he lost the things.

I spoke, "Why does it matter? Rin knows you and Kakashi are going to be late. That's why she set the meeting at Godforsaken four in the morning." If there was anyone who knew how to manipulate the Copy-nin and the Uchiha Prankster, it was Rin.

"Stop making snarky comments and help me, woman!" Was all my brother responded with.

Sighing I looked directly at the object he was looking for. Obito's battle goggles were laying on the kitchen table, where he always tossed them after his police squad finished for the day. I contemplated in telling Obito, but then that would take away the fun it would be to watch him tear apart the house looking for his goggles.

"Why do you even wear them anymore? It's not like you still have that eye problem." I called. Obito had been born with some kind of defect that made his eyesight weak. When we were younger, his eyes would constantly dry out, forcing my brother to carry around an eyedropper and wear goggles to protect his sensitive eyes. When Obito finally activated his sharingan, the eye problem disappeared but he didn't stop wearing those stupid goggles.

Obito made some remark about his goggles being part of him or whatever. It's not like I ever understood what he was talking about half the time anyway. I knocked back the rest of my tea and turned around to set the cup by the full sink. My eye twitched at the sight. Reason Number 27 why Obito and I didn't get along: I was a clean freak and he wasn't.

"You forgot to do the dishes again!" I yelled as I made my way towards the door.

Obito poked his head out of my room, "That's not important right now, Yanagi. I need to find those goggles!"

I glared at him as I sat down to put on my sandals, "Well they're definitely _not_ in my room. Have you even looked in the kitchen yet?" I heard Obito grumbling about something, but I chose to ignore it. Whatever he was saying would only piss me off anyway.

There was a spike of chakra that told me Obito was shunshining into the kitchen, followed by his exclaims of delight. I stood and retrieved my weapons pouch from the small table by the door where I had set it last night, trying to ignore the cheering coming from the kitchen. I was tempted to tell Obito to find a room, but that would only start another yelling match. It was too early in the morning for fighting.

"Bye! Have fun on your mission!" I called as I ran out the door and into the foggy predawn morning. For some odd reason I felt as if I were a genin again, eagerly running to meet my team and show off the cool new jutsu my brother had taught me the night before.

Not that I wanted to be around Team 7, of course.

Training ground six, where I trained my genin, was one of the lesser used training grounds that the Uchiha clan owned. Obito and I were normally the only ones who actually used it since it was the closest to our house, so making Team 7 meet there wouldn't be a hassle to anyone. I didn't need more of a headache than what I got by just standing in those brats' presence. Anyway, I liked training ground six. When it wasn't being used, the area was very quiet and peaceful. If one ignored the burn marks and notches in the woods from stray weapons, one could say it was very beautiful.

Settling myself in the crook of my favorite tree, I pulled out my book and opened it to the well-worn bookmark and began reading. I only had an hour of this peace before a certain knucklehead blonde came and ruined it with his loud mouth.

It wasn't long after I arrived that my first genin did. I had maybe read ten pages when I felt the presence of a puny amount of chakra. Well... puny to me. For a genin, that amount of chakra was quite a bit; but considering that I had two clan kids on the team it wasn't surprising they'd be more advance.

"Come out, come out." I called softly, like the antagonist in children tales. Like I expected Hinata shuffled into my view, her cheeks dark with a blush and twiddling her fingers in anxiety. I easily leapt from the tree and landed in front of her, "You know we still have an hour until the team meets right?" I questioned.

Hinata just fidgeted nervously, "I-I..." She started then stopped, her throat working as she tried to spit out words and failed.

I raised an eyebrow, "I'm not going to bite." I pointed out, feeling that I probably should. This poor kid was obviously terrified of me. I wondered what I did to make her so nervous, I hadn't been _that _bad... hadn't I? I waited for a little longer, but when it was obvious she wasn't going to make a peep, I rolled my eyes, "Well, it's a good thing you are here early, now we have an hour to get rid of that shyness. Sit." I put a hand on her slight shoulder and pressed down, making the girl sit on the dewy grass.

"Here." I said and shoved a book into her hands. Hinata looked down at the cover and immediately blanched, so she recognized it. I laughed, "Best way to get over shyness, read that book." I said.

Hinata swayed, looking faint. I rolled my eyes again and snatched my brother's copy of Icha Icha from her hands, "Alright, maybe not." I said and tossed the book over my shoulder, not caring where it landed. I had planned to rip the pages it out and make wallpaper for Obito's room, but I didn't want to touch the book longer than necessary. Sitting down in front of the shy Hyuuga heiress I tried a different route, "Did you know when I was in the police force I had a teammate who talked less than you?"

Pearl colored eyes glanced up at me nervously, as if I were some type of monster luring her into a false sense of security. I decided to ignore her look and continued talking like she wasn't there, "Yep, his name is Uchiha Ibo. He's extremely shy, more so than you. He uses hand signs to communicate." Hinata seemed surprised that, for whatever reason. I guess it was surprising to hear that someone was worse than she was.

I clapped my hands loudly, making Hinata jump, "Right then. You're a kunoichi, so you're going to have to get over that shyness one day. Best start early before you're stuck in a jam because you put this off. Any questions before we begin?"

"D-did y-y-you h-ha-have p-p-prob-problems?" Hinata asked shakily.

"Are you kidding? Obito-nii would have beaten any shyness out of me before I was five." I deadpanned. It was probably true. I'd never know since I grew up assertive and stubborn, being an Uchiha branded that personality into me at an early age. I honestly didn't know how Ibo had managed to keep on to his timid nature for so long. The clan saw timidity as a weakness, so to find a twenty year old man who rarely spoke and blushed almost constantly was a rare find. "Now, first lesson of the day..."

vvv

"S-sensei?" Hinata asked later that day, while we, or rather _they_, were cleaning out the dumpsters behind one of the Akimichi restaurants.

I ignored her and continued to read my book.

"S-sensei...?" Oh great, she was even more hesitate now. I kept my eyes firmly glued to my book, taking note that Sasuke and Naruto were pausing in their work to watch Hinata. I had told Hinata that I wouldn't speak to her unless she addressed me without stuttering. Until she said 'sensei' without stuttering I wasn't going to look up from my book.

"S-s-sensei?" Nope. Ignore.

"Hey! Hinata-chan is talking to you!" Argh, I should have known Naruto would butt in. It would be uncharacteristic of him not to. He wouldn't be Naruto without messing up something. Still I wasn't going to say a word until I got what I wanted. These kids would soon learn that no one could break my silence treatments.

"Sss...ensei?" That was better, but not perfect. I licked my thumb and flipped a page of my book. I flicked my eyes briefly towards Hinata, enough to show that I was listening but not enough to acknowledge she was actually speaking. Hinata would know what I meant. The girl took a deep shaking breath and said, slowly, "Sensei?"

I finally turned my full attention on her, "Yes, Hinata?"

"C-can," My eyes narrowed and she blushed red before starting over, "Can I... ask you a q...estion?" The Hyuuga heiress managed. I rolled my eyes at her almost mistake and waved my hand for her to continue, "W...hy do we... h-ave to... to do mi...ssions? Won't y-ou t...each us some-something?" I frowned at the stuttering towards the end.

I stood from my seat on a pile of wood pushed up against the back fence, "Tired of D-rank missions already?" I asked amused.

Sasuke and Hinata said nothing, but their expressions said 'yes'. Naruto was more vocal about his opinion, "Yeah! These don't teach us anything! I want to get out there and fight some bad guys!" He said pumping his fist to show his eagerness.

Sighing, I pressed my fingers to my forehead and shook my head sadly. Woe to those who has to deal with Naruto. "Slow down, brat, you'll get killed that way."

"But if you teach us, then we won't get killed!" Naruto snapped back.

"No matter how much I teach you, that kind of recklessness can get you killed."

"Won't! I'm going to be the Hokage!" Naruto yelled childishly. And just was did that have to do with getting killed on a mission? I could tell him that there were thousands of people who wanted to become Hokage and they all died before their first B-rank mission because they had the same reckless behavior Naruto did. But I didn't since I wasn't _that_ cruel.

I gave up on the argument, since it was futile to argue with stupidity, "Keep telling yourself that, kid. I'm going to enjoy laughing at your failure at tree walking."

"Hey! I won't fail at... wait, _are you going to teach us something?!_" Man, if anyone needed to have something announce, they should just hire the Kyuubi brat. I swear the people in Kumogakure could hear him.

"That's what I said, didn't I?" I questioned dryly with a raised eyebrow.

Naruto leapt into the air with joy, whooping and cheering that he was going to learn an awesome new jutsu while Hinata and Sasuke looked mildly excited. I guess doing chores all day was really getting to them.

"Alright, finish up this mission then I'll teach you tree walking." I should have known disaster would strike then. What would Team 7 be if a mission went without incident?

vvv

"Tree walking is one of the hardest but most common chakra controlling exercise. It's also the first step to water walking, which is an essential tool in many fights." I started, glaring at Naruto when he opened his mouth to interrupt me. The boy immediately quelled under my harsh gaze and didn't speak. I waited a moment to be sure that he didn't go ahead and interrupt before I continued, "To walk up a tree, you must use the right amount of chakra to stick your foot to the tree; too much and the tree explodes underneath you, too little and you slip and fall. Observe." I turned and walked up the tree I was leaning on with ease. Though tree walking wasn't as commonly used in combat as water walking, it was still useful–mostly as a way of traveling through trees. Especially in Konoha. I turned to face my team with I was a good two meters up the tree trunk, "Any questions?"

"Yeah, what the heck does this have to do with learning kickass jutsus?!" Of course it was Naruto.

I leapt off the tree and landed in front of the three genin again, "Simple. In battle, ninja fight with jutsus. Jutsus require chakra to perform. Having good chakra control enables the user to perform jutsus to their maximum efficiency without wasting any chakra. Thus it also gives the user more chakra to use in a battle. Understand?" All three shook their head 'no'. I sighed, well damn it. Why did I get stuck with the stupid kids?

"Look think of it this way, say a person can use about twenty different jutsus with medium damage in a battle without learning to control their chakra. If that person _does_ learn chakra control, they can boost the number of jutsus they perform from twenty to say... thirty as well as boosting the power of their jutsus. Learning chakra control also is essential to learning medical ninjutsu and Konoha has a rule that there must be a medic nin on each team. One of you will be learning medical ninjutsu as well." I stared right at Hinata when I said that. The kunoichi was usually the one who learned medical ninjutsu since women have better control than most men.

Naruto, being the dramatic brat that he was, groaned exaggeratedly and fell back on his back, "But _why_?" He persisted.

My eyebrow started twitching in irritation. Up until now I had been almost civil to the brats, they were highly amusing after all, but my patience was starting to wear thin... not that I had that much to begin with anyway. In a sharp voice I started counting off the benefits to tree walking, "Increases chakra control, gives you better balance, can be used in battle, is the first stepping stone in walking on water..."

There was a slight breeze that suddenly shot past me. Being a jounin I immediately flinched to the right, automatically thinking that I was being attacked. I spun around, hand already going for my kunai pouch in preparation for whatever came at me. Instead all I got was the sight of Naruto's blazing orange back racing towards the tree I had walked up.

He got three steps before falling flat on his back. I didn't even feel a spike of chakra coming from the untrained genin. By the time someone reached my level of experience, even lower actually, there was hardly a sign that they were focusing chakra to their feet. A genin however, especially a dead last like Naruto, needed time to focus their chakra.

"You didn't even use chakra, did you?" I questioned dryly, already knowing the answer.

Naruto went from rubbing the back of his head and grimacing in pain to shouting at me, "That was just a practice run!"

This kid was just like Denryoku...

"Sure it was, brat. Now why don't you try for real this time. Focus your chakra first, _then_ run for the tree. You'll get better results." I said before glancing at Sasuke and Hinata. They hadn't moved from where they were. As a Hyuuga and an Uchiha they should have already been introduced to exercises similar to tree walking, especially Hinata whose clan fighting style relied on strong chakra control. "Alright you two, practice even if you already know it." I said and the two kids strode after Naruto.

I sat down where I stood and pulled out my book. Now that the brats were occupied with training, I could finish it.

**vvv 3rd POV~ Sasuke vvv**

"Hey..." Naruto said in a creepy mysterious voice. Both Hinata and Sasuke stopped practicing their tree walking to look at the blonde. Of all three of them, Naruto was the most bruised since he had no prior training. Sasuke fared a little better, his clan focused more on ninjutsu than building stamina; while Hinata remained unscathed.

Naruto looked to the right then left in a shifty manner, "What do you think Frizzy-sensei reads? She's always reading that book." He whispered, jerking his thumb over his shoulder towards their oblivious sensei.

Sasuke had to admit that he was curious. He hardly knew anything about either of his cousins, other than that they were related to him through Kaa-chan and that both were extremely ill tempered. For some reason, Obito and Yanagi didn't get along with Otou-san; but why exactly, Sasuke didn't know.

"Shisui says that Obito-itoko reads perverted books." Sasuke said, mostly to himself. The navy haired Uchiha glanced at his sensei/cousin, could she...?

"Eh? Who's Obito?" Naruto asked, his eyes squinting in confusion.

Surprisingly it was Hinata who answered, "O-O-Obito i-i-i-is S-sen-sensei's b-b-b-b-b-bro-broth-brother." She managed to wring out, blushing red. Sasuke was tempted to tell her not to try and talk to Naruto. Hinata risked fainting every time she even _looked_ at her crush. How Naruto hadn't noticed their teammates affection yet was beyond Sasuke.

"Oh... then who's Shisui?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Shisui is my Aniki's best friend. He is close to Obito-itoko. Shisui says that Obito and Kakashi-san read Icha Icha all the time. It's their favorite book series."

Hinata was turning even more red. Sasuke glanced at his female teammate curiously. Normally she only blushed when she was thinking about Naruto, or speaking to him, or looking at him, or hearing his voice... basically anytime Naruto was within ten feet of her. So why was she blushing now when all Sasuke did was mention a book series?

Shrugging it off as strange girl behavior, Sasuke continued, "Do you think that sensei might read the same thing?"

Naruto started snickering, "I knew there was something weird about her!" He said between snorts. Then he suddenly lit up with an idea. Sasuke had learned already that that usually didn't bode well for the team's health or sanity. "Hey, what if we..." More shifty looks, "found out if she does read those smutty books?"

Sasuke had a mild panic attack. Trying to go against Yanagi would be like trying to prank Obito: suicidal. Sasuke had already learned his lessons about messing with his cousins and he didn't wish to repeat either of them.

_Bamf!_

Hinata fainted, of course. Luckily Sasuke managed to catch her before she hit her head on the ground. He glared at Naruto, "Do you have a death wish?" It wasn't that he _feared _Yanagi; but he had noticed that everyone in the clan, save very few people, usually took steps to avoid her when Yanagi was pissed. Caution was always a good trait to have when you're a shinobi.

"Of course not! Frizzy-sensei can't be that bad." Naruto defended hotly. Then he immediately went back into his 'scheming mode' "Now... here is what I was thinking we should do."

Why Sasuke even listened, he'd never know. But the young Uchiha had to admit that his blonde teammate did have a talent for pranking. Though... it was no where near as good as Obito's talent.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

"Sensei?" I glanced up at Naruto and raised an eyebrow. The kid's expression was uncharacteristically serious. I automatically suspected something.

"There's no way you're finished with the exercise." I said, my voice carefully void of all suspicion. I had learned from growing up with Obito that you never let the prankster know that you know they're up to something. Besides, with Naruto's one track mind, I might be able to distract him.

No dice.

Naturally, being an Uchiha and a powerful jounin, I refuse to admit to anyone what happened next. One minute the Kyuubi brat was standing in front of me, almost frowning, and the next he was tearing across the training grounds with my book in his hands. It took me a second for it to click that _some damn newly made genin just stole something right out from under my nose._

Someone was going to die.

"UZUMAKI NARUTO!" I roared as I shot to my feet. I was delicate for both my height and age–I barely looked like a proper jounin let alone a chunnin–but I had a pair of lungs courtesy of having a fire chakra nature. All shinobi with Katon ninjutsu had to have a healthy set of lungs, especially to pull of the Uchiha style Grand Fireball technique.

Plus growing up with Nii-san helped too.

I had nearly caught the damned brat when he tossed the book across the clearing to Sasuke. If I wasn't so pissed I'd be impressed by his arm strength. My cousin caught the book easily and leapt up into the trees, taking off to a destination unknown. I shunshined twice to narrow the gap between us and reached out to grab the brat by his Uchiha collar. I'd never understand why most of my kinsmen liked those stupid high collar shirts.

Sasuke stopped abruptly and dropped the book, letting it fall towards the ground, before evading my grip. Great. Now I had to change trajectory and free fall to grab my book.

I was going to _murder_ whoever thought this was a good idea.

Three Narutos passed in below me, one nabbing the book out of the air while the other two stalled me for a brief moment, allowing the first Naruto to gain distance. What made matters even worse, they started jeering at me. I glared and grabbed the Naruto to my right and swung him into his partner. They both disappeared in a puff of smoke. That took me by surprise. I hadn't known that Naruto could create shadow clones.

Maybe he wasn't such a dead last after all...

But he was still _dead_.

Shunshining closer to the culprit who had my book I yelled out, "Stop right there or else!"

Naruto grinned at me over his shoulder, "What will you do? You can't even catch me!" He teased. I stopped on the branch I had just landed on and watched with a flat expression as the still mocking Naruto slammed into a tree.

I take it back. He was a dead last for sure, he just had a very unexpected high ranked jutsu in his arsenal. And probably the only one too.

"You gonna hand the book over now? Or do I have to get serious?" I asked boredly, my arms crossed over my chest, when Naruto finally caught his bearings.

The kid squinted at me, "What is this book, anyway?" He asked curiously. I was surprised he didn't think to open it and look for himself; but he was dumb enough that I doubted he knew how to even open a book.

"Hand it over and we'll forget this stupidity on your part." I said, holding out my hand for my book, "You won't ever bring it up and I won't make your life hell, alright?"

He tried to open the book.

I snatched it from him before he could read the characters on the page. For extra precaution I stuffed the thin volume down my flak vest, not trusting my genin to try and sneak into my weapons pouch where I normally kept it. Without a word I turned away from Naruto, who was blinking dumbly at his suddenly empty hands.

I was _so_ signing them up for the 'Retrieve Tora' mission tomorrow. I deserved some damn entertainment after this stupid stunt!

^o^

Well, ya'll know what's coming next! ^^ And what does Yanagi possibly read that she doesn't want anyone to find out about? Hmmmmmmm? lol

And the thing about Obito's goggles and the eye problem. I swear I saw him using an eyedropper in the anime once, I can't remember where but I am _positive_ it was there! Just thought I'd inform you.

_BTW: The honorific '-itoko' means cousin. Don't know if you understood it from context or not..._

**~When you get caught looking at him/her, just remember, they were looking back.**

Flame Friendly! Or leave a review... ya know... cuz authors like reviews... : \


	9. Cats, Aunts, and B-Ranks, Oh My!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, who'da guessed?

Meh... I'm tired.

As I promised, the canon influenced chapters have returned!

In mythology, Orochi (meaning 'Big Snake') is the name of an eight-forked serpent who demanded virgin sacrifices. He was killed by the god-hero Susanoo. Guess what Itachi's Susanoo killed before he died? XDDDDD I love it when Kishi adds little mythology Easter eggs in the manga/anime.

BTW: I have put Rediscovering on Hiatus, which means Sensei will now take over it's updating spot. So every three Fridays be looking for a new chapter! ;3 (unless I forget or something else prevents me from updating)

vvv

"Good job team! Real nice action out there today." I said cheerfully as Team 7 walked back to the Missions Assignment Office after a hard day's work of _one_ D-rank mission. Though, considering it was the infamous 'Retrieve Tora' mission, I guess I couldn't blame them for taking all day. Honestly, some teams took weeks to capture Tora.

I heard Sasuke mumble behind me, "Why do I get the feeling Sensei enjoyed this?" I ignored his comment, since it was true. I loved watching Naruto getting beaten by a cat, _again_; I had a feeling the blonde was starting to really hate cats. Especially after he nearly deafened the rest of Team 7 with his declaration of loathing cats for all eternity.

...Shouldn't have stolen my book yesterday.

Naruto answered Sasuke's rhetorical question in a much louder voice that I couldn't ignore, "Because Frizzy-sensei is in league with the devil! Look at her, Sensei is _holding_ that demon cat!" It was true, Tora was purring happily in my arms, not at all like the creature who just kicked Naruto's skinny ass into next week.

And if Naruto called me 'Frizzy-sensei' again, I was going to kick him into the next _century._

"Oh Tora, my precious baby! You must have been so _scared_!" The Daimyo's wife cooed when we returned Tora to his owner. "Mommy was so worried about his fuzzy little face! Oooooo I'll never let you out of my sight again~!"

Naruto laughed, "Ha! That kitty deserves to be squashed."

My eye twitched and I contemplated on swatting the blonde upside the head, but decided against it with both the Hokage and Iruka in the room. They were too overly protective over Naruto that I couldn't get away with hitting the idiot. Especially Iruka, he had a trick that he could use to get revenge. The guy knew about my silent treatment towards Shisui; if I hit Naruto I didn't doubt that Iruka would sic Shisui on me in retaliation.

While the Daimyo's wife, Lady Shizimi, continued to smother her cat with affection, the Hokage began reading off more missions. Babysitting, shopping, gardening... the normal boring D-rank stuff.

"Noooooo!" Naruto whined, putting his forearms up to make an 'X'. I glared at him for interrupting the Hokage. "I wanna go on a real mission! Something challenging and exciting, not this kids' stuff!" I frowned a little, thinking what I could do to make Naruto's life more interesting, since he obviously thought everything he was doing was 'kid stuff'. And by interesting, I meant more entertaining for me. Maybe if I made his life hell enough now, he wouldn't beg for a higher ranked mission.

I glanced at the two silent clan kids. Sasuke was ready to go on C-rank missions, I'd admit that. But Hinata was nowhere near ready. While the girl was more advance in training than the boys, her personality was a major fall back. Hinata wouldn't last well outside the village, she'd probably faint when a rabbit hopped across her path! Still C-rank missions _were_ simple. There was supposed to be little or no enemies on C-ranks, in fact C-ranks were generally just D-ranked missions that went outside the village. Maybe Hinata wouldn't do so bad on it...

I punched Naruto in the head when he started yelling at Iruka about D-ranks not being real missions, causing the brat to facefault. "Cork it, kid." I said flatly. Ha! Now Iruka wouldn't get mad at me for hitting Naruto since I was only controlling the rowdy brat's behavior. While I watched the blonde whine and moan, though I didn't hit him _nearly_ as hard as he was making it out to be, the Hokage began another monotone speech.

Ugh. Kill me now.

Immediately Naruto turned his back on the Hokage and began talking about the ramen he had over the past week. Out of sheer boredom, I listen to him. Hinata was the only one really listening to him though, Sasuke and I were doing it so we didn't have to hear the Hokage drone on and on.

"Silence!" Hiruzen snapped, though not very loud. He didn't seem like the person to actually yell–at least to people who didn't really know him. Hinata jumped like she had gotten caught drinking heavy sake or something; the rest of us just turned our attention casually back on Hiruzen.

I glanced at the Hokage, "...Sorry." I said in a 'not-so-sorry' tone. If the Hokage wanted people to listen, then he should really learn to put inflection in his voice.

Naruto, still sitting for some stupid reason, turned back around, "You're always lecturing me like you're my grandfather or something," Well... he kind of was. Naruto did call the Hokage 'jiji' sometimes, "but I'm not the little brat who used to pull pranks all the time!" Oh really? Than was do you call yesterday? "I'm a ninja now and I want a real mission!" After the somewhat speech, Naruto crossed his arms with a childish pout and turned around again. Whatever credibility he had just made, it was thrown out the window by his actions.

I sighed and wondered why the karma demons hated me to much.

The Hokage laughed. I mentally cringed, that laugh meant that I wasn't going to like what came next. "Naruto wants us to know that he's a former brat, and he wants a mission... so be it." Cue surprised looks from all three genin and a groan from me, "Since you're so determined I'm going to give you a C-ranked mission. You'll be bodyguards on a journey."

Damn it. I hated when I was right.

Naruto cheered and leapt up, "YES! Who? Who are we guarding? A princess?! Or some big league councilor?"

The Hokage still have that evil smirk on his face as he said, "I'll bring him in now. Send our visitor in." He called a little louder.

The door behind us opened and we all turned to see a wizened old man, though he was younger than the Hokage, come stumbling in with a sake bottle hanging loosely in his grip. "Wha tha? A bunch of snot nosed kids?!" I raised an eyebrow, it wasn't even noon and already he was drunk. I liked sake as much as the next person, but I drew the line at being drunk during the day. The client took a swig of his sake and pointed to the team, "And you, the short one with the idiot face, you expect me to believe you're a ninja?"

I glanced at my team and smirked. Naruto was the shortest, even Hinata was a full inch taller than him. The kid predictably cracked up and glanced at his two teammates, not understanding that he was the one our client was talking about. I had to hold Naruto back when it finally dawned on him that Mr. Drunk was talking about him.

"You can't kill the client if he's annoying, Naruto... that's my job." I said patiently as I griped the struggling genin by his appalling orange jacket. I could feel the Hokage and Iruka's equally disapproving looks drilling into my back. I ignored them.

The drunk introduced himself as Tazuna, a bridge builder from the Land of Waves. He gave a nasty little speech about protecting him even if it cost us our lives. I glared at him for that. I believed in sacrificing yourself for the life of a friend just like anyone else; but it was an automatic 'screw you' if someone who wasn't my superior, namely the Hokage, was telling me to give my life for them.

I wondered if the Hokage would dock my pay if I hogtied the man and dragged him to the Land of Waves by his hair.

Nah, better not; it'd set a bad example for the kiddies.

Snapping my fingers, I brought all attention to me, "Alright, we leave at three this afternoon. Go pack for a month long mission, and be at the gate by three or you can stay in Konoha. Sasuke, you're escorting the Grandpa Drunk around. Keep an eye on him. Now all of you shoo." Sasuke was probably the only one who could handle being around Tazuna without trying to kill him or fainting. I completely ignored Tazuna's indignant shouts and Naruto's laugh as the four of them filed out of the room.

Hiruzen gave me a brief rundown of the mission: Team 7 would escort Tazuna to the Land of Waves, protecting him from any bandits we might come across, then act as a bodyguards as he and his men finished the bridge that would 'change the world' or whatever. When the Hokage finished his briefing, I gave a small bow and left.

The Daimyo's wife was still in the hall when I closed the door behind me. Tora had long since stopped struggling and coiled up in his owner's arms, purring like he hadn't been trying to escape. I smirked and gave a small bow, "Always a pleasure, my lady." I said, meaning it.

The woman gave me a smirk that equaled my own, "Oh dearie, you know I love teasing genin. Both me and my precious Tora." Lady Shizimi enjoyed screwing with impressionable minds almost as much as I did. It was one of the reasons why she and I got along so well. After all, there weren't many women out there who would purposefully train cats–all named Tora of course–to give newly made genin hell. It was almost a rite of passage for genin to take on the infamous 'Retrieve Tora' mission. Even Obito said that Minato mentioned doing the mission when _he_ was a genin; though if I remember correctly it had been another Daimyo's wife, not Lady Shizimi, who had 'lost' Tora.

vvv

The house was empty when I got there. Obito didn't say how long his mission with Rin and Kakashi would be, but when the best jounin squad was called out on a mission, they could be gone for months. Seriously, what kind of mission required the best medic Konohagakure had, an ANBU captain, and an infiltration expert? Whatever it was, it had better be preventing another damn war.

I went to my room and pulled out my ready made mission pack I kept under the bed. Being a jounin and one of the top most powerful Uchiha, I was used to having missions at the drop of a hat so I always kept a mission pack ready just in case I was called out. Slinging my pack over one shoulder and grabbing my haiti-ate that I wore only when outside Konoha, I went to the kitchen to scribble a quick note for Obito in case he got back before I did.

_Gone on C-rank with genin brats._

_I won't interact with any men._

_Don't look for my candy stash, it's hidden._

_Hit Shisui for me._

_And yourself._

_And Kakashi._

_Tell everyone I hate them._

_~Yanagi_

I took a kunai that needed to be sharpened and impaled the note to the kitchen table so Obito would see it. He hated it when I did that. Nii-san was weird about cuts in the table for some reason. Something about the table being the only thing we had of our parents left.

Whatever. Our parents died before I turned three, so I didn't care.

I still had two hours before we left. I was a stickler for being early and all, but even two hours was too much for me. Besides, it was lunchtime, I could eat something before we headed out; but with Kakashi gone with Obito I had no one to eat with. I wasn't keen on eating by myself, too many men tried to flirt with me when I was by myself. I might not like Obito being an overprotective troll of a brother, but I hated flirty men who didn't get the hint that I wasn't interested even more.

Still... I did have one option.

"Sensei?" Sasuke questioned when he opened the door. By the look of his face, I think I successfully stumped the kid. It wasn't a secret that Fugaku detested me and my brother and visa-versa; as a result Obito and I avoided from the Uchiha Main House like the plague.

I gave my student/cousin a blank look, "Is your dad home?" I asked boredly. Sasuke shook his head 'no' and I grinned, "Perfect. Then I'm staying for lunch." Mikoto had giving Nii-san and I an open invitation to come over for meals at anytime. But we usually declined because Fugaku was there. While I loved my aunt, I didn't want anything to do with her husband.

Before Sasuke could answer I ducked around him and took off my sandals. As I pulled my gloves off, I looked at the still somewhat dumbfounded Sasuke out of the corner of my eye, "Where's Grandpa Drunk?" Please tell me he was tied up like a dog. Please tell me he was tied up like a dog. Please tell me he was tied up like a dog-

"HEY! You've gotta awfully lot of guts calling me names!"

Damn it.

I glared at Tazuna who was in the hallway glaring right back at me. Behind him Itachi stood giving me a sort of disapproving blank look. I honestly didn't know how my cousin could do that. Glares normally didn't bother me, but Itachi had a way of getting under my skin with his staring, even when he was still a brat just learning to walk. I eventually found a way to bypass Itachi's stares, by accusing someone of bothering Sasuke they got the brunt of Itachi's looks and I got to sneak away with my dignity.

"Like you have guts calling my students idiots?" I asked Tazuna in a false sweet tone. Okay so he only called Naruto an idiot, but it was worth stretching the truth to see Itachi full out glare at Tazuna while the drunk broke out in a sweat. Ruffling Sasuke's hair as I walked past him–didn't want the preteen to feel left out–I headed for the kitchen, calling out for my aunt.

To say that Mikoto-oba left the stove to hug me when I stepped into her domain was saying something. That woman wouldn't leave the kitchen if the Kyuubi attacked again... maybe. I really didn't want to test the theory though. "Yanagi! Sasuke told me you're his sensei, I hope you're not going easy on him." Mikoto-oba said when she finally let me go.

I grinned evilly, "Of course not." I joked, "But don't worry, I'm not singling him out for torture. All three of them get the same evil treatment." I continued lightly. Mikoto laughed. That was the reason while I liked my aunt. Unlike the rest of our family, hell the entire clan really, Mikoto had a sense of humor. She didn't get offended over a joke... unlike two certain cousins who were glaring at me.

Little brats.

I shot Itachi and Sasuke a disdainful look before smirking and turning back to my aunt. There was one topic that made the two extremely uncomfortable. Well, at least Itachi; I didn't have much interaction with Sasuke until I became his jounin sensei. "So... any good _prospect_ for the boys?" Itachi seemed to be choking on air behind me, but I ignored him.

Wasn't my fault that Mikoto's hobby was matchmaking.

My question launched a full hour of listening to Mikoto spouting about all the different prospects of potential girlfriends and their advantages and disadvantages. Tazuna and I got a kick out of it while the Uchiha brothers were pretty much trying to murder me with glares. I'd chalk it up as dinner and a show.

"So, what about you Yanagi? Do you have a man yet?" Mikoto asked once she finished her rant that took up the majority of lunch. The downfall of asking my aunt about her hobby, she started playing matchmaker on me.

My amused expression fell flat, "No."

"_What?!_ Yanagi, you're in the prime of your life! You should live a little before you become old like me."

"You're not old, Mikoto-oba!"

"Don't change the subject! Why aren't you dating?" Mikoto demanded, glaring at me darkly. I blanched. If there was one person who truly scared me, it was my aunt. I doggedly ignored Sasuke's quiet snickering across the table from me.

"Talk to Obito-nii. He's still an overprotective prick."

"Don't call your brother a prick."

"Yes _mother._"

"And I'll talk to Obito."

"I never said I _wanted_ to date anyone!"

By Mikoto's expression, one would think I had just said that Itachi and Sasuke were committing incest. Slowly her horrified expression turned into fury. I was in trouble now. I stood up and grabbed Tazuna and Sasuke by the backs of their shirt collars, "Gotta go. Mission. Bye!" I said quickly then bodily dragged my two meat shields from the house.

vvv

"Yeeaaaaah! Alright!" Naruto screeched the moment he stepped outside the village gates. The rest of us just stared at him.

Hinata, surprisingly, was the one to ask what everyone was thinking albeit more politely, "W-what is it, N-Naruto-k-k-kun?" Well at least she wasn't taking a minute just to stutter out a word anymore.

The blonde Kyuubi brat began looking around exaggeratedly, jumping around the well worn road that lead to Konoha's gates, "This is the first time I've ever been outside the village! I'm a traveler now, believe it!" The kid exclaimed then began laughing like a loon.

There wasn't a word good enough to describe his stupidity.

Tazuna look at me, "Hey, am I supposed to trust my life to this runt? He's a joke!" I noticed that Naruto stiffened up as he overheard the drunk.

I gave the man a Kakashi-style eye smile, "Oh don't worry about that. I'm a jounin so I'll be able to protect you should the need arise. What you do need to worry about is if idiocy is contagious; I hear Grandpa Drunks catch it very easily." I said cheerfully.

"HEY!" Two equally offended people shouted. Three guesses on who. Sasuke was giving me a look that said 'no matter what you say, I'm not related to you' while Hinata looked horrified for some odd reason. I only giggled at their faces.

Walking forward I grabbed Naruto's backpack straps, "Come on. I don't want to be late." I said mildly as I began dragging Naruto behind me. He was too busy shouting at Tazuna about being Hokage to pay attention anyway. Besides, he'd probably attack the client if I let him go.

…

"...and then I had beef ramen _again_ for lunch. I really like the beef, but my favorite is pork ramen! Though miso ramen is another good one! I also like naruto better than menma in my ramen because I'm named Naruto! Plus menma tastes nasty, it's like I'm eating grass instead of yummy naruto! Last week Iruka took me to Ichiraku ramen again, that place is so great! I like it better than the instant noodles I used to eat when I was in the Academy. When I become Hokage, I'm going to eat Ichiraku ramen all day long and-"

"That's unhealthy." I broke in. From the relieved sighs, I was guessing that everyone else, even Hinata, were glad for a break in the _three hour long ramen speech._

Naruto looked up at me confused, "Huh?"

I gave him a flat look out of the corner of my eye, "Eating nothing but ramen is unhealthy. You should add vegetables and fruits to your diet. I'd say stop eating ramen altogether, but that's not going to happen." I added the last part under my breath so Naruto couldn't hear me. If he did the brat would no doubt go into a long rant about the pros of ramen.

Naruto stuck his tongue out and made a face, "Ewww! Vegetables are gross." He said childishly.

"Only if you don't cook them right." I snapped right back.

"No they wouldn't! They'd still be gross."

I leaned down so that my face was inches from the squinty eyed kid, "Oh really? Listen here, Obito Mini-me, my brother doesn't like vegetables either but he likes the way _I_ fix them."

"I'M NOT HIS MINI-ME!"

"Actually... you kinda are." Sasuke suddenly piped up. Naruto and I turned to my cousin to see him looking Naruto up and down. By the contemplating look on his face, I'd say that Sasuke was making many connections between the Kyuubi brat and my annoying Nii-san.

Naruto turned red with anger and slammed his foot into the ground, "Listen here, teme, I am not that creep's Mini-me! We are nothing alike!" I sighed as Sasuke vs Naruto Round 254 started. And yes, I was keeping count.

Hinata and Tazuna exchanged confused looked, not known Obito on a more personal level like the three of us did. I grabbed the two arguing boys heads and turned them forward, making the two keep walking. I was not going to stop for every time Naruto decided to pick a fight with Tazuna, Sasuke or me. He can learn to walk and talk like the rest of us.

"T-Tazuna-san?" Hinata asked several minutes later after Naruto and Sasuke went to sulk in their separate 'corners'.

Grandpa Drunk swallowed his gulp of sake and turned to the shy Hyuuga, "Yeah?" Hinata asked something about the Land of Waves, but I wasn't paying attention. My eyes were on that sake bottle of Tazuna's. I was going to be an alcoholic if I had to continue to deal with Naruto's idiocy, that much I was certain of. Might as well start now... if I could get a hold of that bottle that is...

"S-ensei?" Hinata questioned, pulling me out of my alcohol musings. I looked at my nervous student and raised an eyebrow. "A-are there any nin...ja in the L-and of W-waves?" She managed to say without stuttering too much. Well it was better than when she graduated at least.

Wait, I had to do a lesson didn't I? Weren't they supposed to learn this in _school?! _"No, not in the Land of Waves; though in some other countries there are hidden villages. Having a hidden village means having shinobi. But there's not a hidden village anywhere in the Land of Waves. There are five great nations that have a hidden villages: the Lands of Fire, Earth, Wind, Water, and Lightning. There are smaller countries that have hidden villages, but they don't have a Kage. The Kages are the leaders of the hidden villages in the Five Great Nations. Konoha has the Hokage. There's also the Tsuchikage, Kazekage, Mizukage and Raikage. Those five are the rulers of thousands of ninja in their own country. Got it?" Quickest rundown on hidden villages and shinobi _ever._

"So-so Lord H-hokage is r-r-eally important?" Hinata asked when I finished my spiel. I look at her, then at the two boys. From their expressions, I could tell that none of them were thinking really highly of the Hokage at the moment. But who could blame them, for all they knew the Hokage was just a grandfather figure. Not the war general the adults in Konoha knew.

Still I wasn't going to let them get away with it, it was a golden opportunity to scold the lot of them, "You're doubting the Hokage aren't you?" I asked sternly, my hands going to my hips. All three kids looked away sheepishly. I rolled my eyes, they were just making it obvious. I put my hand on Hinata's head, "Still. Don't worry about any foreign ninja. This is a C-rank, there's hardly ever and confrontations on a C-rank mission." That seemed to take a load off the three.

Was it just me or was Tazuna stiffening up?

vvv

It was relatively quiet now. Naruto wasn't rambling on about ramen and Hinata wasn't pestering Tazuna with stuttered questions. The only sounds were the happy songs of birds in the trees and the footsteps of five people. I was tempted to take my book out and start reading, or possibly get into Tazuna's sake stash, but something was telling me not to. Twelve years as a kunoichi taught you to listen to your instincts. Man, if it was me just being paranoid again I was going to strangle myself.

My three genin walked right past a puddle and didn't even look down; Tazuna didn't notice it either. As they should have. Puddles were meant to be inconspicuous and overlooked.

Damn it. I hate puddles.

"Hold up!" I called. My four companions turned around in enough time to see me bending over as if to readjust my left sandal strap. Out of view, my Sharingan activated and gave a quick spin before darkening back into obsidian.

Try getting out of an Area of Effect genjutsu now, suckers.

While everyone was under the genjutsu I shunshined into the treeline and watched as the chunnin level Kiri nins, if their headbands were anything to go by, leapt out of that damn puddle and used their chains to cut 'me' to ribbons. Literally.

Ugh. I hate Bloody Mist nins.

Both nuke-nins went after Naruto, who was too busy screaming my name to pay attention to the Kiri nins. He froze in fear, predictably since Naruto was only a genin with no previous battle training, as the two nuke-nins came for him. Their chains were still dripping in 'my' blood. My cheek twitched a little, maybe the genjutsu I had cast was a _little_ too gruesome for genin. I tensed, ready to intervene and screw the plan, when Sasuke jumped out of no where and pinned the nuke-nins' chains to a nearby tree.

Guess clan training/torture does come in handy sometimes.

Using taijutsu, Sasuke managed to kick the Kiri nuke-nins back and thus breaking their chains in the process. The two attackers recovered quickly, as expected from chunnin level shinobi, and went for Naruto again. I frowned, wondering what their motive was. Were the two really after the Kyuubi, or were they just clearing out the competition before they went after the real target? Regardless of their true target, it would have been strategical to finish Sasuke off since he was the higher threat.

One of the shinobi broke off and went for Tazuna and Hinata. The Hyuuga whimpered plaintively and stood in front of Tazuna, the kunai in her hands shaking so badly I doubted she would be able to even hit the enemy if he was two inches in front of her. She didn't move as the enemy reached out with his clawed gauntlet for... Tazuna behind her.

So Tazuna was the real target.

Sasuke leapt in front of Hinata, arms wide, intending to take the blow that wasn't even going for the Hyuuga heiress. Then I saw the glove move slightly down so it would stab straight through Sasuke and possibly through Hinata as well. Killing two birds with one stone, as it were. Shit shit shit shit! If they did hit Hinata and Sasuke it would ruin the genjutsu!

I shunshined out of my hiding place and grabbed the nuke-nin going for the brats and bodily swung him into his partner. They both went rolling head over tail before crashing head first into the tree that Sasuke had previously pinned their chains to. I shunshined after them, grabbed the chains and tied the annoying piss-ants up using their own weapons. If they happened to get cut with their poisons chains, too bad so sad.

Dusting my hands off to get rid of their filth I turned back to the group, all of whom were staring at me like they had seen a ghost.

Oh wait...

I put up two fingers and exclaimed, "Kai!" The world we were standing in dissolved away, 'my' nasty and very gruesome remains disappearing along with Naruto's scratch from the shinobi that attacked him. The nuke-nin twitched, "Y-You mean it was just a genjutsu?!" The one of the right with the darker clothing asked.

"Well yeah... what did you expect when fighting an Uchiha?" I said as if it were obvious. Which it should have been. I looked back at my team, "Nice work Sasuke, very smooth." I complimented. After taking on two chunnin level nuke-nins and actually giving them trouble for a few seconds, my cousin _deserved_ some praise from me. The others... not so much. Though Hinata did stand her ground instead of fleeing. "I'm proud of you too Hinata. That was very brave." The two kids looked at me surprised.

Naruto on the other hand... he looked genuinely horrified as he thought back on the fight. I wasn't going to say anything. My silence would be enough of a reprimand. After all, Naruto had just thought he faced a life and death situation, anyone could freeze up like he did.

Then Sasuke decided to egg him on like the little prick he was, "Hey, you're not scared are you... _scaredy cat_?" The look on my little cousin's face was so evil, I didn't know if I should be impressed or swat him upside the head for teasing Naruto. Maybe both.

I settled on both, "Don't torment Naruto, Duckass." I snapped while I was mentally cheering him on. Not that I'd ever tell him that, the kid didn't need that already big ego of his inflated anymore. "By the way, Tazuna..." The drunk stiffened and turned to me, his stance automatically defensive. Well, any doubt I had was just laid to rest, "We're going to have a nice long talk." The man gulped.

Good.

I pointed to the two slouched over nuke-nins, "Those are chunnin level shinobi from Kirigakure, according to the Bingo Book they go by the Demon Brothers. They specialize in relentless attacks, often to the point of being suicidal." Why they weren't trying to escape now was strange though. Surely I hadn't freaked them out enough they they actually _gave up._ Wimps.

The nuke-nin to the right spoke again, "How did you know about our ambush?"

I held up three fingers, "Three reasons. One, I'm a jounin. You had better damn well know I'm better than that, it's an insult. Two, I'm a sensory type, I could feel your chakra in the puddle; which leads me to my third point," My expression turned flat. "A puddle, on a clear day when it hasn't rained in weeks. Seriously, how _did_ you two become chunnin?!"

Tazuna gave me a glare, "Then why did you leave it for the genin to do the fighting?"

"They were never in any danger." I said calmly. Everyone else shifted, obviously thinking the same thing. I rolled my eyes, "I'm an Uchiha. Genjutsu is the clan's specialty. If I can't cast a simple Area of Effect genjutsu, then I'm a lousy clan member." There was no way I was going to explain the intricacies of my genjutsu in front of the enemy. Everyone else can ponder all they want and come up with their own damn conclusions.

I continued before someone else could ask another question, "These wimps were no problem. I could easily kill them, but then I wouldn't know who they were after... would I, Tazuna?"

"What are you blathering about?!" Boy talk about defensive.

"It's obvious that these men were after you, Grandpa Drunk, don't bother denying it." I said flatly. The man didn't say anything else, he only blushed a little. "A C-rank escort mission is a standard escort mission. There aren't supposed to be _any_ ninja hunting clients during C-rank missions, just bandits and ruffians looking for easy pickings. Having enemy _ninja_ on your tail is a B-rank or higher." Tazuna looked more and more guilty for getting these kids in his mess with each word I spoke.

Hinata spoke up, "N-Naruto-k-k-kun is b-bad-badly h-h-h-h-hurt. W-we-we sh-should get him m-me-medical treat-tre-t-treatment f-fast." She stuttered out from her spot. I turned to Hinata and opened my mouth to tell her that Naruto didn't need any help when the idiot suddenly stabbed his hand.

"_What are you doing?!_" I shouted, spinning around to stare at my stupid student. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hinata faint and Tazuna catch her. Don't tell me she fainted at the sight of blood too!

Naruto shook in pain and closed one eye, his expression serious for once. "Why am I so different? I work very hard to get here! I pushed myself until it hurt and trained alone for _hours_ to get stronger and achieve my dream! I won't let someone else rescue me again, I won't back down. I will _never_ run away and I _will not_ lose to Sasuke. On this wound I make this pledge... believe it. Tazuna-san, I will complete this mission and protect you with _this kunai._ A real ninja never gives up, and neither will I! Now let's go!"

Tazuna and Sasuke seemed awed about Naruto's speech, I just stared at him deadpanned, "Naruto... that was, uh, really ...cool... and the speech was great but... um, there's no wound. And if you lose anymore blood, you're going to die."

Naruto slowly looked down at his _now_ injured hand and saw only the wound he had inflicted on himself. He was turning steadily paler, whether from blood loss or from the fact that he just had a unknown emo moment, I couldn't tell.

"Bu- I did get hurt! That guy hit me and he had poison claws and-"

"That was under genjutsu. He was actually striking that tree." I said and pointed. Everyone, including the Demon Brothers, looked where I was pointing and saw three scratch marks on the tree, "Everyone _thought _it was you, but it wasn't. The wound disappeared when I released the genjutsu." Naruto started sweating bullets as he looked at his still bleeding hand. I smiled, "Now would be the time to stop the bleeding... seriously. You have like a minute to live."

Cue the freak out.

I rolled my eyes, "Let me see your hand." While Naruto still did his freakout dance I took his hand and turned it over to see the wound. Lifting up my free hand I started the Mystical Palm Technique to heal it, creating green chakra around my fingers, until I noticed that the would was closing right before my eyes. I stiffened slightly then narrowed my eyes.

So the Kyuubi was healing him.

"Um..." Naruto started. I looked up to see him staring at me intently, shivering in fear, "You have a really serious look on your face... I'm not going to die am I?"

Hmmmm... troll him or reassure him? Choices... choices...

Troll him.

"Naruto, I'm sorry to tell you this but..." I trailed off and sadly shook my head. Tazuna gasped behind me. Naruto turned a sickly green color, then went whiter than a sheet. I stood up abruptly with my face impassive, "But you're going to live to annoy me longer. Congrats." It took a second for Naruto to comprehend that he wasn't dying. Then I felt a soggy something slamming into me. "Ugh! What-?" I looked down to see Naruto burying his face in my side.

He turned his face up and gave me a teary, snot filled, smile, "Thank you, thank you, thank you sensei!"

"GET OFF ME, YOU DISGUSTING BRAT!" I yelled and tried to pull the kid off me. I was a clean freak, I didn't like snot nosed sobbing kids! I especially didn't like them _hugging_ me. Naruto clung tighter as he continued to yell 'thank you'. I continued to yell for him to let go of me.

^o^

Well there's a little twist on the story! Never go against an Uchiha, suckers! Now... what will happen when when Yanagi meets Zabuza? Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!

**~When you're down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.**

Flame Friendly!


	10. Peaches

Disclaimer: I no own Naruto.

So who else is the most mature of your group? Raise your hands! Sometimes I don't even feel like a friend, more like a second mom BECAUSE THE IDIOTS THAT ARE SOMEHOW MY FRIENDS CAN'T POUR WATER WITHOUT ME HOLDING THEIR HAND! *slams head repeatedly on desk* Why? Why? Why? Why? _**Why?!**_ I'm sick of being responsible, it's another person's turn now! ARGH, I give up, they can fail their classes and get lost all the way in _Cancun_ for all I care! GO! Fail at life, my sheltered egotistical so-called friends, because I. AM. _DONE._

Sorry... can't take it anymore. After an entire lifetime (quite literally, since I've known one of my friends since birth) of being the 'responsible mom' of the group I just blew my top after today. Sorry, you had to face it... I'll make it up with this chapter! ^^

**Guest:**I never said that Obito didn't KNOW who Naruto was, he just never met him personally, like Kakashi never did in canon even though he was Minato's student as well. Besides, Yanagi is classified as an Unreliable Narrator, she doesn't know personally if Obito and Naruto have ever met before or not, she's only taking it for granted. Obito never acted as if he did or did not know Naruto, so the reader can't really know for sure. And Yanagi does know that Minato is Naruto's father. In chapter 9 she alludes to knowing about the 'secret' of Naruto's parentage.

About Shisui: Ummm... Shisui **IS **the strongest in the clan, it's stated several times in canon. Once again, Yanagi is an Unreliable Narrator. _She_ knows that Shisui has the Mangekyu, the whole Uchiha clan with the sharingan knows. In Chapter 3, Yanagi specifically says that no one can know if they don't have the Sharingan, so it's not much of a leap to assume that no one outside the Uchiha clan knows what Shisui has that no one else does, which solves the _'a__s long as someone knows he has that power, it becomes ineffective'_ problem you brought up.

I know it's spelled Kekkei Genkai, but I just don't bother to change it because it's already in all my stories and I don't have time to correct it all; cuz if I correct one, I gotta correct them all! lol Pokemon reference. XD

_Still I thank you for your constructive criticism! I just wish you had logged in so I didn't have to do this in a chapter..._

*squee* I'm excited about this chapter! ≥∇≤

To clear up anymore misconceptions, Yanagi falls under the following types of literary devices:

_These are done on purpose to give Yanagi a more realistic approach._

**~Unreliable Narrator** Meaning that in fiction, as in life, the unreliable narrator is a narrator who can't be trusted. Either from ignorance or self-interest, this narrator speaks with a bias, makes mistakes, or even lies _[from . c o m]_

**~ Antihero** An antihero is a protagonist who has the opposite of most of the traditional attributes of a hero. More often an antihero is just an amoral misfit. While heroes are typically conventional, anti-heroes, depending on the circumstances. _[from tvtropes. o r g]_

_Sorry for the long AN... honestly didn't mean it this time... But in reward here's an equally long (or even longer really) CHAPTER!_

vvv

I sighed and snapped my book closed, giving up on trying to read. This fog was so damn thick I couldn't even read! I don't know why I let Naruto talk me into not turning around and going back to Konoha after the fight with the Kiri chunnin. I just _knew_ there was going to be another big problem before this stupid mission ended. It wouldn't be a Team 7 mission if we didn't run into some kind of trouble.

"WOAH! It's huge!" Naruto suddenly shouted. I glanced up to see what the idiot was talking about now while the boatman scolded the blonde about his loudmouth. Like _that_ would make a difference. Still, I was mildly impressed by the bridge Naruto had screamed about. Too bad we wouldn't see it finished, since I was dragging my team back to Konoha the minute Tazuna's foot hit the shore.

Still there was one thing bothering me...

"Yo, Grandpa Drunk..." I started. The man didn't react like he usually did, which gave me an insight to how serious this was. "Tell me why there are men after you." I was still aborting the mission when we dropped Tazuna on shore, but due to morbid curiosity I wanted to know why this guy had gone from a seemingly harmless drunk to someone rogue ninja were after. I could smell a good story behind all this.

Might as well entertain myself with story time since I couldn't read.

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing when Tazuna said, "I have no choice but to tell you–no I _want_ you to know the truth." Man was this guy dramatic, "Like you said, this isn't a true C-rank mission, the one who seeks my life is a very short man but cast a very long and deadly shadow." I wondered mildly if Tazuna was trying to keep us interested enough to stay, or if he was just a naturally gifted story teller.

" 'Cast a long and deadly shadow'? Hmmm... Who is it?" I asked, deciding to play along.

Tazuna gave me a solemn look, "...You know him... as Gatou. He's one of the wealthiest men in the world and-"

"I know of him." I said flatly, not wanting Tazuna to continue his blathering. Granted I didn't know the midget was a black market dealer who worked in dirty under-the-table tactics, but still.

Naruto was doing his squinty face again, "Huh? Who? Who? What? What?" Seriously, the kid sounded like he was five years younger than his actual age. How I got saddled with him, I would never understand. The Hokage must have some beef with me that I didn't know about.

Grandpa Drunk went on to explain the dirty deeds of this Gatou, all without losing that dramatic flair he had going. Seriously, if this guy hadn't already devoted his life to bridge building he should have gone into professional story telling. The genin were _hooked;_ even the boatman was listening raptly, all while rowing the boat of course. Tazuna went on to explain how the bridge would break Gatou's control over the Land of Waves, and thus putting Tazuna's life in danger. Blah blah blah, boring boring boring. I got enough drama from Obito, I didn't need it from Grandpa Drunk as well. Though, I had to admit, Tazuna was better at telling the story than Nii-san.

"So why did you request a C-rank, when you knew this was a B-rank mission?" I asked, keeping the conversation on track before Tazuna could go down the road of ramblings.

The old man looked down, silent for a moment, then spoke, "Because the Land of Waves is poor, not even our Daimyo have little money. I couldn't afford something higher than a C-rank." I gave a flat stare. It was something as simple as money? With all the drama already saturating the story, I thought it would be more spectacular than that. "This bridge will bring prosperity to my home, but if you just drop me off there won't be a bridge. They'll assassinate me."

My three little genin looked guilty, though Sasuke hid it better than Naruto or Hinata. I just continued to stare at him unimpressed by his blatant guilt-tripping. After growing up with Obito and Shisui I was immune to all guilt-trips of any kind.

Tazuna moved on to flat out blackmail. He gave us a fake smile and said in a light tone, "But don't feel bad about that! Of course my sweet little grandson will be upset. He'll cry 'Granddad! I want my granddad!'" The change in voice was amusing as Tazuna mimicked his 'grandson's voice. Hinata and Naruto looked extremely guilty now, like they had accidentally kicked a puppy. But Tazuna wasn't finished yet, "Oh and my daughter will condemn the ninja of Konohagakure, denouncing and blaming you for abandoning me and living her life in sorrow." The old coot added quickly as if it wasn't a big deal. The man's beady eyes darted to my still unaffected stare and continued, "Ah oh well, it's not your fault, forget it!"

I stared at him stoically.

Tazuna sweatdropped, thinking his little scheme failed.

Finally I sighed reluctantly, "Fine, we'll keep guarding you." If I had said no Naruto and possibly even Hinata would annoy me until they convinced me otherwise. It was best just to give in for now and let the drunk have this round. Tazuna lit up and I glared at him, causing him to whiten under his tan instantly.

Beside me Sasuke smothered a snicker. He knew from experience that it was foolish to blackmail the Blackmail Queen.

vvv

I groaned when I saw Sasuke and Naruto having some kind of speed walking race. Why couldn't they acted like a normal rivalry? Why must it all be passive-aggressive and _loud_?! Naruto ran ahead and did a funny little 'look left and right' thing. I was about to ask what the hell was he doing when he suddenly threw a kunai, "Over there!" He exclaimed.

Everyone–read: Sasuke and I–immediately leapt into defensive stance around Tazuna and waited for the attack.

Nothing happened.

Causally Naruto stood back up, "Hm, just a mouse."

Tazuna went off on the little brat, but Naruto ignored him by exclaiming that people were hiding around in the bushes all around us. I was about to hit him for being stupid when I felt a surge of chakra behind me.

Naruto seemed to follow my instincts and aimed another kunai knife at the spot I felt the chakra surge. Tazuna smacked Naruto upside the head and the brat and drunk had yet another yelling match while I went to investigate. Just below the kunai that Naruto had thrown a white rabbit was having a heart attack.

A white snow rabbit.

Curse my cursed damn luck. The karma demons must really loath me.

I stepped away from Naruto's sobbing apologies to casually inspect the clearing, searching for chakra signatures. I wasn't a very good sensory nin, most of it was just pure natural skill since I had spent most of my training on my sharingan and ninjutsu, so I wouldn't be able to sense anyone who was suppressing their chakra at a jounin level.

Considering that I couldn't sense anyone meant that my suspicions were right and our next attacker was a jounin skilled opponent. The right side of my mouth twitched up and I almost sang out 'come out come out wherever you are~' but I didn't.

Especially since our opponent was already attacking.

"DUCK!" I roared and immediately all members of the group hit the dust, barely avoiding the big ass sword flying through the air. I was on my feet the second that stupid sword was past me and staring up passively at the jounin now standing on his sword hilt.

Cow print arm and leg warmers. Grey striped pants. No shirt. Big ass sword. Damn it.

Time to troll.

First I ruined his sense of mysteriousness, "So... you're Momochi Zabuza, eh?" Silence from the cowboy. Guess I'd have to kick the trolling up a notch, "Feeling... peachy today?" I got a small minuscule twitch from the man and I grinned. That minuscule twitch from him meant he was extremely annoyed. One more time and I'd push him over the edge. "I have a very serious question. I need you to answer honestly." I paused for a moment, "Is peaches your favorite food? I hate them." Now I got a glare and a sliver of killer intent.

Naruto began running for Zabuza like an idiot. Luckily I was able to stop him. I might be able to tease Zabuza, but that didn't make him any less dangerous. Naruto would just be killed needlessly if I let him attack.

"Don't. This guy is out of your league." I said seriously.

The blonde didn't seem to like that, "But I can take him!" He said confidently. If only he knew how wrong he was.

I gave the kid a very stern look that made him back down. Ever since I became Team 7's sensei, I had been very surly and often glared at the trio of brats. But I knew they got the feeling I was kidding most of the time, that I was only fooling with them. Now I wasn't. I was truly being serious. "_Stay. Back._ Naruto. When I say this guy is too powerful, I mean it." I turned my stare to Sasuke and Hinata, "All three of you stay out of this. Protect Tazuna, that's an order." I said and shoved Naruto backwards, out of danger.

Looking back up at the still silent Zabuza, I changed moods and called out cheerfully, "Hey, Peach-boy, any chance you'll let us go?"

Silence.

"Is that a yes?"

Silence.

"Are you mute or something?"

Silence.

"...Do you like pineapples?"

Silence.

Man, this guy was worse than I was when Shisui was around. I dropped the act and fell into a defensive stance, "Fine, Peachy, if you're not going to talk then you can at least attack. I've got things to do than try and drag answers outta you. That's T&I's job, not mine."

Silence. 

I rolled my eyes and in the process of doing so activated my sharingan. That seemed to get his attention. Zabuza perked up and asked in a raspy 'I'm-obviously-a-heavy-smoker' voice, "So you're an Uchiha. By your unusual behavior... you're Yanagi, are you not?"

I tsked demurely and flipped my ponytail over my shoulder, "Why I'm just flattered to _death._ You know my name, and here I thought I was overshadowed by the stupidity of my brother."

"The Stupidly Brave Kunoichi of Konoha." Zabuza rasped, naming one of my various catch names I had gotten.

Laughing I waved a hand, "Lame, isn't it? I don't know who came up with it; still it is a better nickname than _some._" A certain nickname from an annoying Uchiha who I wasn't on speaking terms with came to mind and I frowned. Quickly I erased the frown and replaced it with a cheerful grin, "But I have to say, you're nickname is better... Demon of the Mist."

Zabuza seemed to be getting tired of our little mind game, "Hand over the old man." He said.

I scoffed, "Seriously? I admit I dislike the man as much as you do, but asking for me to hand him over is just lame and lazy. And your intimidation tactics aren't working, Peach-boy. It's kinda hard to be intimidated by someone with the last name of _'peach soil'_."

A thick mist suddenly began to build up. Guess I pushed the peachy cowboy too far. I smiled. Goody, now the fun began. "In the Kirigakure Bingo Book, it's listed that you had a runaway mouth, Uchiha." Zabuza commented.

"I _have_ a runaway mouth. I'm not dead yet, dumbass." I corrected hotly. How dare Peachy insinuate that I was going to die!

Zabuza gave a creepy chuckle, but it didn't hold a candle to Obito in his pranking moods, "Soon." He promised. I rolled my eyes again. As far as trash talk went, this guy was _not_ a pro. It was almost embarrassing how predictable his insults were. Peach-boy continued before I could insult him back and show how a true master of disrespect did it, "In our Bingo Book it's said that your fire ninjutsus are some of the most powerful in the world. Too bad it won't do you any good."

Well shit.

Being from Kirigakure, Zabuza would naturally have a water nature. I was lucky enough to have two chakra natures–fire and wind–but that wasn't going to do jack against freaking _water._ Water nature beat fire, and wind was practically useless against it anyway. That left genjutsu and taijutsu to fight with. However Zabuza's sword would put a hindrance on my taijutsu and just be plain annoying anyway. I was also pretty sure that Zabuza knew in advance that I was an Uchiha and would take lengths to protect himself against genjutsu.

Double shit.

"Now..." Zabuza started. Immediately my three genin leapt into a defensive formation in front of Tazuna. I shifted my weight onto my left foot, ready to spring forward at a moments notice. I might be at a major disadvantage going against this S-ranked criminal, but I was damn well going to give him a hard time and make the bastard _earn_ his prize... if I even let him have it.

Peach-boy suddenly leapt away and onto the water. The genin and Tazuna seemed surprised that he was able to accomplish such a feat. I was more worried about the huge amount of chakra Peachy was building up. Whatever Peaches was doing, it wasn't going to be good. I thought back on all my spars with Kakashi when he used water based jutsus. None of them required this amount of chakra, so what was Peachy doing?

"Suiton: Hidden Mist Jutsu!" Zabuza called out and the mist suddenly thickened with chakra, creating nothing but a white wall all around us. I could barely even see the kids behind me, let alone wherever that prick disappeared to.

The tension was high in the air. I stayed coiled, ready to strike out defensively if so much as a leave rustled the wrong way. I was a jounin of Konoha and the only one able to stand a chance against Zabuza. There was no way in hell that I was letting the Demon of the Mist past me and lay a scratch my genin team.

"S-sen-sensei...?" Hinata stuttered nervously. I knew the poor girl was shaking badly. Damn it, I knew she wasn't ready for real missions yet. Though, granted this wasn't supposed to be a real genin mission.

"Don't worry. He'll come after me. You just keep guarding Tazuna." I said, my red eyes darting from place to place. But even with the highly advanced sight of the sharingan, I still could hardly see past the thick chakra infused fog.

"Who is this guy?" Naruto asked, for once sounding nervous and serious. I guess the kid finally realized that this was real and he could very much die out here without ever getting close to his dream. Strangely, I wished that he was still that naïve kid from three minutes ago.

"Momochi Zabuza, a nuke-nin from Kirigakure and former captain of the Hidden Mist Assassination Unit." That's all they needed to know. I didn't want to scare the kids. They were nervous enough as it was.

Zabuza seemed determined to tell then anyway, "Uchiha, you're forgetting something..." That raspy voice sounded eerie coming out of the mist, like some vengeful wraith looking for a soul to devour. Peaches didn't even have to explain his silent killing technique for the kids to be frightened, but he did it anyway. I glared off into the mist, no one could frighten my brats except _me._

The fog thickened to the point that I couldn't even see Team 7 anymore. Shit shit shit! Zabuza spoke again, this time his creepy voice seeming to come from all around. I let loose my killer intent, my chakra swirling around me and dissipating the fog a little. I could practically feel Sasuke freezing up in fear, the killer intent coming off Zabuza and I were hitting my younger cousin. This wasn't going well, Sasuke was the best support I had out of the three. Though I hated it, I was probably going to have to call on the genin's help to take down Peach-boy. If he was unable to move because of fear...

"Sasuke!" I said, my voice cutting but reassuring at the same time. My cousin tensed, seeming to come out of his fear induced stupor, "Calm down. You've got nothing to fear," I glanced over my shoulder at Team 7 and smiled soothingly, "I'll protect you even if I die for it. That's a promise!" Nii-san used to say those three words when we were younger, and Obito always kept his word.

So I would do it too.

Of course Zabuza had to spoil our little bonding moment with his creepy intoning, "I wouldn't be so sure... it's over." Suddenly his voice wasn't everywhere at once like it had been. It was in one specific place.

Right in the middle of my genin team.

OH HELL NO!

With a reaction speed that could only be achieved through training with a sharingan, I leapt for the Peach bastard as my four companions leapt away from him. My kunai knife plunged deep into the man's gut. Zabuza grunted and leaned against my shoulder, his warm breath brushing against my dark brown curls that coiled around my ear. For a brief moment, a silence fell over the world, as if acknowledging that a life was ending.

But both Zabuza and I knew it wasn't.

Naruto suddenly screeched, "Sensei, behind you!"

I spun around, the Zabuza water clone bursting to spray cool water all over my back, while the other Zabuza swung his Kubikiribōchō and cleaved me in half. Blood flew from my mouth as I stared in surprise at my killer. Zabuza seemed to smirk under his bandages.

Then he frowned.

I dissolved into butterflies.

Zabuza spun around, spitting like an angry cat; though his voice retained that raspy calmness when he said, "Nice work, Uchiha. I didn't even notice the genjutsu."

From my hiding place among the trees I leapt down behind Peachy and placed my kunai knife along his throat, "Don't move." I growled threateningly. This guy threatened my genin, he had made it to the bottom of my 'shit-list' in record breaking time.

Peaches started a boring monologue of how I was able to distract him while I reassured my team and cast the genjutsu while he was distracted. I was tempted to kill him just to shut the idiot up. Seriously, what was the point of explaining everything as if there was an invisible audience watching this fight? It was boring and drawn out and sometimes just plain stalling.

Oh.

Yet _another_ Zabuza appeared behind me, Kubikiribōchō once again back and ready to cleave me in half. This time, I didn't have a genjutsu ready. Naruto yelled something about being a water clone while I ducked underneath Peach-boy's big ass sword. Zabuza followed his sword's swing and stabbed it into the ground before using it as a leverage to kick me into the air.

I twisted in enough time to meet Zabuza as he jumped after me, but his axe kick propeller me into the water. The one place I _did not want to be._ Just like I expected, the little prick appeared behind me with an air of smug victory. I tried to spring away from the water before he could catch me, but it was too late, "Water Prison Jutsu!"

My world took on a watery blue tint and I immediately felt cold and clammy. The water that imprisoned me felt thick and viscous like honey, I couldn't move an inch. I snarled angrily at the man holding the prison, my red eyes promising a very violent death if I ever got out. I wish I wish Zabuza would just glance my way, long enough for me to cast a very painful and horrific genjutsu, but he didn't. Peach-boy seemed to know what would happen if he met my gaze; seems I'd have to think up a more physical torture to dish out then.

Congratulations, Peaches, you just managed to piss off one of the most hot headed Uchiha known in existence.

**vvv 3rd POV~ Sasuke vvv**

Sasuke felt Yanagi-sensei's killer intent spike drastically, but strangely this time he wasn't afraid. Perhaps her promise that she would protect the team with her life had gotten to him more than he knew. Sasuke frowned, in the few weeks of being under Yanagi's tutelage he knew that she was a very powerful but... he never expected her to be taken out so easily.

"Water Clone Jutsu!" The man called Zabuza shouted. Dimly in the mist, Sasuke could see another Zabuza burst from the water and stand between Team 7 and the real Zabuza. Sasuke tensed, they would have to go through the clone first to get to Yanagi-sensei. If that brief fight with the clones was anything to go by, these water clones weren't at all weak.

The water clone suddenly appeared in front of Naruto, causing the blonde to fall back and in the process lose his headband. If this wasn't such a serious moment, Sasuke would scold him for being clumsy. Given the fact that even Yanagi-sensei wasn't doing so just went to prove _how_ serious this fight was.

At a loss, the Uchiha genin watched as his teammate landed far away from him, too far to help. Sasuke didn't want to leave the protection of Tazuna to Hinata alone. The Hyuuga was already scared out of her wits, Sasuke doubted she would be of much use.

Yanagi suddenly shouted, her voice muffled and wavering by the water that held her prisoner, "Leave you idiots! Peaches is only able to fight you with his water clone, now's your chance to run. The clone can't follow you forever, so _run_ you imbeciles! Get out of here, complete the mission, do you hear me!?"

Sasuke glared at his cousin, running was no longer an option. The second Yanagi got caught was the moment that Sasuke knew that Zabuza would stop at nothing to kill Tazuna. It was better to stand and fight rather than run away and prolong their life for a short time. That was the act of a coward. And Sasuke was not a coward!

With a sudden surge of confidence, Sasuke shot forward, determined to rescue his cousin and sensei. Throwing shuriken after shuriken at the water clone, Sasuke leapt into the air and, just as he reached the clone with his attack, was thrown away like nothing more than a rag doll. Naruto called out the younger Uchiha's name, fear and concern lacing the blonde's voice. As Sasuke struggled to stand back up, Naruto suddenly charged for the clone.

Of course the blonde goofball was thrown aside easily, coming to a stop at the feet of Hinata. The shy Hyuuga heiress quickly went to her knees to ask in her wobbly voice if Naruto was okay; but Sasuke eyed what the blonde had retrieved with interest. It seemed that the whole attack was just to get his headband back. Sasuke frowned, what was so important about that headband? Surely what the clone had taunted about not being a true ninja hadn't gotten to the blonde. It was just trash talk, like what Yanagi-sensei had been doing when Zabuza first showed up.

Naruto stood up, the scowl on his face dark and serious. Sasuke was slightly impressed by the blonde's change in attitude, "Hey, you no-brows freak," Sasuke couldn't help but smile a little at the attempt to imitate Yanagi-sensei's insulting nicknames, "put this in that book of yours... the person who is going to be Hokage of Konohagakure..." Naruto reached up to tie his haiti-ate around his forehead and glared up at the impassive water clone, "he never backs down. And his name is Uzumaki Naruto!" Unlike Naruto's previous claims to become Hokage, Sasuke had to admit that this one was serious. For once, Sasuke actually believed that Naruto could become Hokage.

The serious aura surrounding Naruto turned into something akin to cocky and confident, "Alright, Sasuke, can you hear me?"

The navy haired Uchiha gave his teammate a flat look. He was standing two feet away from the blonde, of course he could hear Naruto! "Yeah, I can hear you." Sasuke said, his tone a touch exasperated.

"Alright! I've got a plan."

So he finally had a plan, huh? As opposed to flailing around like an idiot? Sasuke scoffed, "So you're finally thinking about teamwork? What's the plan then?" Naruto gave Sasuke a foxy grin.

Unknown to either of them, Hinata watched from her spot in front of Tazuna. If ever she doubted her awe for Naruto, it had been replenished. The Hyuuga felt as safe being protected by her two teammates as she had when Yanagi-sensei stood in front of them, promising to protect the team with her life. Whatever the two boys were planning, Hinata had no doubt that it would succeed!

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

_Poof!_

Everyone, other than Sasuke and Naruto, was surprised to see the second Fuuma shuriken transform into Naruto. I watched with anticipation and awe as the kunai Naruto and thrown back at Zabuza made it's way, in what seemed like slow motion, towards the Peachy bastard. If I could move, I would be shivering in excitement. There was no possible way to dodge that kunai, not without releasing me from my prison.

Although, it probably would have been better for Zabuza to let the kunai hit him.

It would have hurt less.

Zabuza turned on Naruto, the Fuuma shuriken he was holding spinning dangerously as he cocked his arm back to throw it at my student. Seemed Peaches forgot about me; I should be hurt, but the anger of been imprisoned–on top of my students being threatened–was overriding any hurt. "I'll destroy you!" Zabuza growled, his raspy voice finally showing anger.

I. Don't. Think. So. 

Still dripping water, I raised my fist and caught on of the blades on the hand guards of my gloves. I didn't even grimace when the thin metal cut into my skin unable to take the pressure of the shuriken's sharp blade. Naruto, not having any water walking training like Zabuza and I, fell into the water unharmed. I just hoped he had enough sense to get the hell out of dodge, because I wasn't going to wait. I wanted to tear Zabuza a new one _right now._ Zabuza met my gaze only to find a full on Uchiha Death Glare.

It made me dance happily on the inside to see him pale a little.

"Naruto. That was an excellent plan, I'm proud of you." I complimented, feeling the need to. After all, without that brat's help, I would still be giving glares in a water prison instead of outside like I was now. Naruto laughed like it was no big deal when we all knew it was. My eyes flickered to him, "Now get your ass back to shore. I've got a rotten peach to incinerate." Naruto gave a mock salute and began swimming to shore.

Hmm... maybe as I reward I'd teach the team water walking. They had gotten tree walking down... somewhat.

Zabuza and I struggled briefly for the Fuuma shuriken. Being female and weaker than Zabuza, I was losing and the sharp blade came closer to my neck. Narrowing my eyes I bent backwards, my right leg flying up to kick the shuriken into the sky, then back flipping away from Peach-boy. I crouched on the surface of the water, watching Zabuza warily. I knew he would use water ninjutsu, thinking that I would have little to no defense against it.

My hand drifted towards my kunai pouch as I thought over my choices. I could block the attacks with well placed wind ninjutsu, but that risked diverting an attack to the genin, or I could copy Peach-boy's hand signs and fight ninjutsu for ninjutsu. The only problem with that option was I wouldn't have much chakra to use. Using a chakra nature that wasn't mine would use up too much chakra–especially if the jutsus were powerful like I knew they were going to be–and they would be substantially weaker. Unless...

Nii-san always said if you can't win with power, win with annoyance.

I smiled. Zabuza, suspecting something, leapt away and I mimicked him, going in the opposite direction. I copied Zabuza's stance and started weaving the hand signs he was making at an almost inhuman speed. But my sharingan eyes could pick them up.

Zabuza's first mistake: weaving signs in front of an Uchiha.

We finished at the exact same second and both called out, my voice mimicking his to the best of my ability, "Suiton: Water Dragon Jutsu!" Two dragons composed of water rose at the same time, moving in the exact same way. Perfect mirrors of each other. There was no way to tell whose was whose other than chakra. Zabuza's dragon crashed into mine and the weaker one flailed a little before twisting around and biting into it's opponent's 'flesh'. Water rose from the banks and flooded the clearing, nearly drowning my poor genin.

Eh, they probably needed a bath anyway.

Especially Naruto.

While our water dragons were busy battling it out, Zabuza and I shot forward to meet underneath the ninjutsus. Kubikiribōchō clashed harshly with one of my fans I used in wind ninjutsu; I grimaced when I heard the crack of some of the fan's ribs breaking under the pressure of Kubikiribōchō's sharp edge. Maybe I should have grabbed a kunai instead...

I could tell that Peachy was thinking back on the battle, obviously confused by how my water dragon formed at the exact came time that his did. After all, the sharingan _copying_ the jutsu, so I should have been a nanosecond behind at the least.

Zabuza's second mistake: showing doubt to the sharingan wielder.

I felt Zabuza's muscles tense and guessed his next move. Leaping back at the same time, I landed three feet from where we were struggling to get an upper hand on physical strength. My red eyes picked up a subtle twitch in Peach-boy's right leg and I matched his pace as we began running in circles, staying the same distance away from each other. I kept my mimicking up, copying the exact way his head was tilted or the way his fingers curled. He stopped. I stopped. He lifted his arm. I lifted my arm. His eyes widened. So did mine.

Zabuza's third mistake: forgetting that eyes are the windows to the soul.

"...going to do next?" I finished his thought as I dropped my arm in perfect sync with Peachy. I think I broke his brain, if that expression of pure surprise was anything to go by.

Shouldn't have trapped me in a bubble of water, now should you Peachy?

He made a hand sign as I did, "It makes you furious doesn't it?" I asked, reading the subtle twitches of his eyes.

Zabuza was starting to look crazed. "You're just copying me, like a monkey!"

"You can't beat me with cheap tricks! I'll crush you!" We said at the exact same time, in the exact same tone. I even managed to make my voice a little raspier than normal, just to match Peaches. It took Zabuza a second to realize that I had said exactly what he said at the same time, shooting down whatever claim of me copying him.

Zabuza made some lame comment about my monkey mouth as he started to weave signs. I did the same. Unknown to him, my mouth twitched up slightly, ending my perfect mimicry of the Kiri nuke-nin. My tomoes began spinning slowly, so slow that it went unnoticed to Peaches even though he was meeting my gaze fully. Zabuza faltered for a brief moment, seeing the ghostly genjutsu of him behind me as I finished the hand sign he had already been making.

"Suiton: Giant Vortex Jutsu!" I said in a loud commanding voice. Zabuza stared in utter shock as the jutsu that he had thought I was copying from him came roaring towards him. He didn't know that the genjutsu had stalled him for a nanosecond, long enough for me to read how his hands twitched and predict the last hand sign without his help. Peachy thought I had done the impossible, when I had just done was was expected of an Uchiha.

Zabuza's final mistake: he thought he could beat an Uchiha.

While I watched my vortex do it's job, I checked on my genin. Hinata was standing in front of Tazuna dutifully, her kunai knife no longer shaking with fear, while Sasuke helped Naruto out of the raging waters. They were lucky that the vortex didn't pull them in too. Then, out of the corner of my eye, my sharingan picked up another chakra source. One that hadn't been visible to me before. Outwardly I didn't show any signs of knowing, whoever this newcomer was they obviously weren't our allies. They would have leapt in by now. The question was: were they Zabuza's ally?

The vortex died down and I leapt into the tree that it smashed Peaches into. I flung kunai at Zabuza to pin him there and keep the bastard from causing any more trouble. I wasn't going to underestimate this guy any longer, he would be dead before the minute was up. I withdrew another kunai knife from my pouch, "_Now_ your finished." I said and cocked back my arm to throw the kunai, aiming for the spot between his eyes.

Zabuza gave me a bewildered look, the first true emotion I had seen on his face all day, "How did you-? Can you see into the future?" He demanded in an almost scared voice.

Was it really that mind blowing to go against a sharingan? Sane people usually ran when they saw the Uchiha red eyes, but no one I fought with had forced me to use the Uchiha kekke genkai for so long. Normally it was just a quick genjutsu like the one I used early in the battle.

Maybe I should ask Shisui-...never mind.

"Yes. And I see death in your future." I said.

A tiny buzzing sound alerted me of something out of place. My sharingan eyes darted towards the source, but Zabuza's cry of pain snapped my attention back to him. My eyes widened when I saw him crashing to the ground, senbon needles sticking out of his neck.

A womanly laugh drew my attention further up the tree that I was in. Long dark hair was brushed over a white mask with a swirling red pattern that curled around the nose and left cheek. The Kiri embalm was stamped into the mask's forehead: a hunter-nin. "You're right... it was his last battle." The Kiri hunter-nin said.

I leapt down from the tree and made a show of pressing two fingers to Zabuza's neck and felt no pulse. That didn't fool me. I could see a small amount of chakra still shimmering in Zabuza's core with my sharingan. A near death state then. There were three possibilities why Zabuza was alive: the hunter-nin was incompetent and couldn't even make a clean kill. Unlikely since she was a _hunter-nin_ going after a _A-ranked criminal_. Two, she had a sadistic streak and wanted Zabuza's kill for herself, knowing Kirigakure it was possible. Or three, she was in league with Zabuza and 'killed' him before I could truly end his pathetic life.

"He's dead." I said from my squatting position and looked up at the hunter-nin for an explanation.

She immediately bowed, "Thank you." She said softly, "I've been tracking Zabuza for a long time." My eyes narrowed at her voice. It wasn't... feminine enough to be a woman. A boy then? If the hunter-nin was male, then he was very young, probably as young as Team 7.

"You're a hunter-nin from Kirigakure, correct?" I asked.

The boy dipped his head in acknowledgment, "I am."

"What is this?!" Naruto suddenly shouted. Both of us turned from each other to look at the frustrated blonde. He was pointing at the hunter-nin accusingly, "Who do you think you are!" The masked boy said nothing, irritating Naruto even more, "_Did you hear me?!_" The brat enunciated each word.

"Stop it Naruto. He's not our enemy." I said. My sharingan picked up the slightest twinge from the hunter-nin's left pinky finger. A sign of guilt. I didn't look at the Kiri nin. If I let him know that I knew, he would attack. I couldn't take down a wimpy hunter-nin in this state. The two Suiton ninjutsus really bit into my chakra reserves. Soon I would have to be forced to deactivate my sharingan or risk chakra exhaustion. Honestly, I don't know how I was still standing at this point.

Naruto spun on me, "That's not the point! He just took out Zabuza, just like that! I thought you said Zabuza was powerful, and _that guy_ killed Zabuza with one move! It makes us look like idiots! How can I accept that?!" I had to admit, from Naruto's point of view it was a little too much to take. But then again, he didn't have a younger cousin like Itachi. I grew up knowing that Itachi would always be more powerful than me so I accepted the truth and moved on.

I stood up, careful to show that it wasn't a struggle to do so, and walked towards my student. I stopped in front of him with a passive look, "You don't have to accept it, but it's still true. There are many kids out there that are younger than you but stronger than me." Kakashi had pounded that into me at an early age too, when he was still a prick who didn't believe in teamwork.

Naruto looked away mulishly.

The hunter-nin, having gotten tired of my scolding Naruto, teleported from the tree to beside Zabuza. Easily the kid lifted Zabuza over his shoulder, ramming home what I had just told Naruto, "You're struggle is over for now. I must deal with the remains. Please excuse me and farewell." The boy held up on hand, palm flat, as the wind began swirling around him again, and teleported both Zabuza and himself out of my sensory range.

I sighed as Naruto yelled about the hunter-nin's disappearance. Naruto ran to the spot that the two disappeared from. "He's gone, Naruto." I told him in a tired voice. Didn't this kid ever learn?

"What are we doing here then?! I can't believe it! All that hard work and for nothing!" Naruto shouted as he began punching the ground, as if it were Zabuza's face he was pounding in. Behind us, Hinata stuttered out the blonde's name in concern.

I grabbed Naruto's wrist before he could swing again "Let it go, Naruto. Being frustrated will not help things. Nothing will ever be just easy, so save it for the next enemy." That's what I did. That's what the Uchiha clan was taught. Save it for the next enemy and pulverize him with the anger from your past defeat. I turned to the rest of our group, my hand still wrapped around Naruto's thin wrist, "Alright let's move on. We'll rest at Tazuna's house." If the old man complained then I would kindly remind him that Team 7 _shouldn't_ have even helped him. Rules stated that we would be wise to abandon the mission instead of continuing.

Pulling Naruto to a stand, I turned to lead the group towards town. Just a few more hours and I could fall onto a nice futon and sleep until this whole damn thing blew over. I took one step, _one measly little step_, and my body froze. I felt my sharingan deactivate on it's own and had the strange sensation of falling.

I didn't even feel the pain when I hit the ground.

^o^

lol Yanagi keeps calling Zabuza 'peaches' XDDDD That made the chapter in my opinion. Grrr, it's so hard to not quote Kakashi from canon. I'm so used to quoting with Zabuza and Naruto that I fall into the habit of quoting Kakashi for Yanagi! *pulls hair out* STOP IT YOU STUPID MIND! QUIT SCREWING AROUND WITH ME!

BTW: I'm calling Uchiha BS on Yanagi knowing Zabuza was still alive at the moment Haku appeared instead of coming to the conclusion afterwards like Kakashi did in canon. My reasoning: Yanagi is an Uchiha and so has a better control over her sharingan than Kakashi. Ta-da! Problem solved! And before any of you complain... It's not as bad as the Uchiha BS that Sasuke pulls in canon. Just remember that ^U^

**~You don't die of a broken heart...you only wish you did.**

Note: Zabuza's surname 'Momochi' actually does literally mean 'peach soil'. Don't believe me? Wiki it! I got the information from Narutopedia, under Zabuza's trivia. XP

**UP NEXT!** _Training, Yanagi-Style!_

Flames or Reviews! Go ahead **BUT YOU HAD BETTER LOG IN IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE A FLAME! I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANON FLAMES!**


	11. Training, Yanagi-style!

Disclaimer: Nada. I got nothing but my OCs.

First thing I said (well yelled actually) when my alarm went off this morning: "WAFFLES LIKES COMPANY!" *facepalm* Sometimes even_ I_ worry about my own sanity...

This is only because I've been having some bad luck with finding good Sakura fictions to read lately, especially since the series ended: Alright, so most Anti-Sakura haters (and even some of her fans) out there were all in an uproar about how she was a 'stay at home mom' with Sarada _blah blah blah_. Does no one realize that _**MIKOTO**_ did the same thing with Itachi and Sasuke?! Mikoto was a _jounin_, but she still retired to raise her boys. Maybe it's a freakin' tradition for Uchiha mothers to retire and stay at home to instill some training into their little Uchiha brats so they all looked like geniuses to the rest of Konoha! _(Which would actually explain why Obito seemed to be the only 'dead last' Uchiha in existence since he didn't have a mother to train him before the Academy...)_ Maybe Sakura loved Sasuke so much that she was willing to retire and go by stuffy old Uchiha traditions, since it was the _only_ tie Sasuke had to the old clan!

...Oh Geez now I'm committed to the headcanon I just created...

Now, onto the sarcasm of Yanagi!

**Anon-lol**: *gasps dramatically* The flame! THE FLAAAAAAME! O SPARE ME OF THE FLAAAAAME! Bwahahahahahahahahaha, see these kind of flames I don't mind! Thankie for the review! ^^ Glad to see I'm not the only group 'mom'!

vvv

_Demon of the Mist. Master of the silent killing technique._

_So why didn't he kill silently?_

_Why did he make his presence known and draw me into a long battle instead of killing Tazuna before any of us could suspect something._

_**Tazuna went off on the little brat, but Naruto ignored him by exclaiming that people were hiding around in the bushes all around us. I was about to hit him for being stupid when I felt a surge of chakra behind me.**_

_**Naruto seemed to follow my instincts and aimed another kunai knife at the spot I felt the chakra surge. Tazuna smacked Naruto upside the head and the brat and drunk had yet another yelling match while I went to investigate. Just below the kunai that Naruto had thrown a white rabbit was having a heart attack.**_

_**A white **_**snow**_** rabbit.**_

_**Curse my cursed damn luck. The karma demons must really loath me.**_

_**I stepped away from Naruto's sobbing apologies to casually inspect the clearing, searching for chakra signatures. I wasn't a very good sensory nin, most of it was just pure natural skill since I had spent most of my training on my sharingan and attacks, so I wouldn't be able to sense anyone who was suppressing their chakra at a jounin level.**_

_**Considering that I couldn't sense anyone meant that my suspicions were right and our next attacker was a jounin skilled opponent.**_

_I hadn't been able to sense Zabuza until he wanted me to._

_So why did he want me to?_

_And that kid with him, he was also able to suppress his chakra enough that I didn't sense him until he felt like it too._

_Why?_

_Why didn't the false hunter-nin attack me? We both knew that he could easily take me out as weak as I was. Towards the end of the fight, I had been putting on a front. That hunter-nin knew that, I could feel it in his gaze. But he only retrieved Zabuza. Did he want us to be surprised when Zabuza came back to attack us? No. That false hunter-nin would know that I'd be able to figure it out. People like Zabuza and his allies wouldn't underestimate anyone._

_Zabuza was hired by Gatou, I know that. Which meant he was in it for money... or was he? Gatou would want Tazuna dead quickly, so Zabuza should have killed him quickly. Instead he went after me. That meant that Zabuza didn't care for money as much as it would seem. So why? What did Zabuza really want?_

_Something to do with Gatou. He had money–Zabuza could be hired by anyone else for that. He could offer protection–Zabuza didn't need it, he was capable of protecting himself and he had an ally. Gatou practically ruled over the Land of Waves–I doubted Zabuza was interested in that. Gatou had a shipping company..._

"_**Obito-nii! You said you were going to teach me something cool! This is geography!" A younger me whined.**_

_**My older brother laughed, "Just you wait, imoto, you'll see this is cool!" I gave my brother a skeptical look. Obito often lied to me for the heck of it. Nii-san, seeing my expression, reached over to ruffle my curly hair, "That's a promise!" He said cheerfully. I automatically smiled. Whenever Obito-nii said those words, that meant whatever he was saying was true!**_

_**Turns out he was right. It was very interesting learning about rebels often hiding in secluded areas like small islands. Obito was going to teach me about smuggling too, but then Kakashi-baka-nii-san came and interrupted everything.**_

_Rebels. Smuggling. Zabuza._

_My mind recalled Zabuza's page in the Bingo Book. He attempted a coup d'état on Kiri because he disagreed with the government. It was rumored that he had joined the Mist Rebels, but it was never proven._

_Could working for Gatou be a cover up?_

_..._

"Frizzy-sensei, I know you're awake!"

"Idiot, don't yell!"

"Shut up, Teme! I know Frizzy-sensei is awake! She keeps twitching."

"N-Naruto, p-p-plea-please q-quiet down. S-sensei is try-trying to r-r-rest."

My eyes snapped open and I immediately glared at Naruto, "You call me that again and I'll kick your ass." I growled threateningly. I tried to sit up and immediately groaned as my chakra system convulsed painfully causing my muscles to spasm and freeze up as well.

A woman I didn't know was by my side in an instant, "You shouldn't move." She said in a mothering tone. I eyed her, she looked a lot like Mikoto-oba except her face was a lot plainer than my aunt's. She even acted like Mikoto. "Until you're feeling better you should just lay down." I gave in with a sigh and laid back down. If this woman was anything like Mikoto-oba, she wouldn't take no for an answer. It'd be in my best interest to just listen to her.

"S-sensei, are you al-alright?" Hinata asked, coming to kneel beside my futon.

"Hn." I responded with the Uchiha general answer for everything.

Naruto, of course, wasn't going to take that for an answer though, "What happened anyway, sensei? You were fine one minute and the next you were passing out! What gives?"

Sasuke bopped Naruto upside the head, "Idiot, Yanagi-itoko used too much chakra." I gave Sasuke a strange look, since when did he call me 'itoko'?!

Tazuna spoke up from behind Hinata, "Well you did take down a powerful ninja, so I guess you've got an excuse."

"He's not dead." I said, turning my gaze to the ceiling.

I think everyone had a miniature heart attack.

"W-what?! What do you mean he's not dead?" Tazuna practically screeched like a girl.

I closed my eyes and struggled to sit up again. It tore at my pride that Hinata had to help me, but at least I wasn't laying down like some helpless invalid anymore, "Hunter-nins destroy the body where they make the kill. So why did that boy take Zabuza away?"

Silence permeated the air as that information sunk in.

Hinata gasped a little, "T-those needles he-he used..." She said under her breath. Everyone looked at the shy heiress and she blushed. "S-sorry!" She squeaked, ducking her head and twiddling her fingers.

I reached out and pushed her hands down, "No, what were you saying?" I asked. Now wasn't the time for shyness. If Hinata had information, then she should share it.

The girl nibbled at her lip in nervousness and, after a long silence, finally stuttered out, "W-where he h-h-h-hit... i-it was a pres-pressure p-p-poi-point... that c-ca-causes d-death if hit h-hard e-e-en-enough." Of course Hinata would know. The Hyuuga fighting style specialized in pressure points, hitting them with chakra to cut off the chakra flow.

Sasuke stiffened, "The senbon needles. They don't have a high casualty rate." He said, mostly to himself.

I nodded, "Exactly. Unless hitting a vital organ, senbon needles don't kill. My guess is that the hunter-nin used the pressure points on Zabuza's neck to create a temporary death. A hunter-nin is an expert in human anatomy, causing the heart to stop temporarily is child's play to them. Also, the fact that the hunter-nin we ran into took Zabuza's body away instead of taking care of him on the spot and using senbon needles for a weapon points to one fact: that boy was trying to save Peaches... not kill him."

Tazuna tried to reason with us, "Come on, you're over thinking things!" By the tone of his voice, I could tell that Tazuna really want us to be paranoid and not right.

I gave the man a serious look, "An Uchiha _does not_ over think things." I said, a little more harshly than intended. Tazuna cleared his throat awkwardly and looked away. More calmly I recited a rule from the Shinobi Handbook, "The Shinobi Handbook states: 'Encountering suspicion, the ninja prepares quickly. Hesitation leads to disaster.'" I narrowed my eyes at Tazuna, daring him to comment again. I should thank Kakashi for being a ninja robot when I first met him; because of him I memorized the entire handbook by the time I was seven.

Involuntarily, of course.

I glanced at my genin to gauge their reaction. Naruto was grinning a little psychotic grin and Hinata looked extremely pale. Sasuke wasn't showing any emotion.

Naruto stood up, his hand still clenched in a fist, "Alright! Let's prepare then!"

Blinking, I looked at my dumbest student with surprise. Honestly I had expected him to start yelling about going and hunting Zabuza down, not training.

Even more surprising was when Hinata gave Naruto a look that could have been called a glare... if she wasn't blushing, "B-but Naruto, Y-yanagi-sensei is hurt!" Hinata wasn't even stuttering as much, and she was talking to Naruto! Normally she couldn't say one word completely when talking to her crush.

"Uh... Sensei?" I blinked and shook my head a little before focusing on a confused Naruto, "What's with the funny look?" The blonde asked, the dread in his voice apparent. Mildly I wondered if he though I was going to whip out another Uchiha-style training session like I did when they bothered me too much.

I smiled kindly at them, "I'm just impressed by how much all of you have grown. Especially you Naruto." Naruto squinted at me. I grinned wider until my eyes closed, "You've grown the most."

Should have known the praise would go straight to his head, "So you noticed, huh? Things are going to get even better, believe it!" Naruto exclaimed.

"I _don't_ believe it!" A childish voice, not so different from Naruto's actually, shouted behind the blonde. I looked past Naruto to the doorway where a small child in green overalls stood. He glared at us from under his hat with eyes so filled with hate and... loneliness.

"Who are you!?" Naruto enunciated each word loudly, pointing an accusing finger at the kid.

Tazuna spoke before the kid could, "Ah, Inari, where have you been?" My eyes went from Tazuna to Inari, so this was the kid that would cry and cry if we hadn't taken the mission to protect Tazuna after we found out how dangerous it was.

He sure didn't seem the type.

Inari, ignoring the rest of us, ran for his grandfather, his voice suddenly happy and eager, "Welcome back, Grandpa!"

"Inari! That was very rude, these ninja helped your grandfather and brought him here safely." The woman who I had yet been introduced to scolded. No doubt she was Inari's mother and Tazuna's daughter. Seemed to me that she wouldn't resent Konoha if Tazuna was killed.

Grandpa Drunk was a dirty blackmailer.

Tazuna waved off Inari's mother, "Ah, it's okay. I'm rude to them too." He chuckled.

I shot him a nasty glare, "Same to you, Grandpa Drunk." I snapped. Tazuna tried to glare at me, but he didn't hold a candle to any Uchiha. Not even Ibo.

Inari gave us all a blank look before turning to his mother, "Mom, don't you see, all these people are going to die! Gatou is going to kill them all!"

Naruto had the right idea when he yelled, "What did you say brat?!" He gave a cocky grin, "Listen up, you know what a super ninja is? Well that's me, only I'm going to be better." Contradictory much? "I'm going to be Hokage!" Oh dear kami, not this again, "This Gatou or Blatou or whatever he's called is no match for a real hero like me!"

The brat scoffed, "There's no such thing as a real hero. You're just full of stupid ideas!" Inari snapped, looking very much like a miniature Uchiha in appalling fashion at that moment. Yeesh, talk about dramatic.

There was a brief moment of silence before Naruto started for him, "WHAT'D YOU SAY?!" Sasuke luckily leapt up to grab the blonde idiot before he could murder Inari. I almost felt sorry for my cousin for having to be so close the that blaring mouth. No doubt Sasuke would be deaf by the time he was twenty.

"If you wanna stay alive you should go back where you came from." Inari said snobbishly then started walking away.

Finally, _finally, _Tazuna scolded him, somewhat, "Inari, where are you going?"

"To look at the ocean!" Inari snapped as he opened the doors and left, slamming the door behind him.

I sighed, "That boy is going to have a bad attitude when he's a teenager..." I commented to no one.

Tazuna looked at Naruto after a moment, "Sorry about that." He said in a 'not so sorry' tone. I should know, I used it all the time.

Inari's mother took over then and shooed everyone else out of my room, saying I was still supposed to be resting. I sighed when I was alone and wondered what everyone else was up to. Not that I cared, I was just bored. I nearly cried when I realized that if Obito found out about this he was going to murder me for getting hurt! Kakashi would be right behind him. And Shisui would never let me live it down.

Still moaning about my morbid future, I closed my eyes to rest and plan ahead.

vvv

I flicked three small squares at my genin. Being ninjas, even miniature ones, all three snatched the paper out of the air without thinking. They looked at the chakra paper confused, then at me. I leaned against the tree I sat under, "That's chakra paper. When you channel your chakra into the paper it will react according to your chakra nature. For instance," I held up a fourth slip of paper and channeled my chakra into it. The paper split in two. "That's the sign that I have Fūton nature." I waved my hand at Sasuke, "Go, Duckass."

My cousin gave me a small glare before concentrating on the bluish paper in his hand. As we watched the paper began to crinkle. Sasuke looked at me for explanation. I nodded once, "Seems you have a Lightning affinity. Being an Uchiha you also have Katon nature, correct?" Sasuke nodded silently. Of course he did. The Uchiha clan was born with fire affinity, no two ways about it. There was a reason why we were _famous _for it after all.

Naruto went ahead and channeled his chakra into his paper without my say-so. The paper cut in two, "Cool! We have the same... uh... katra nature, Sensei!" He exclaimed.

"_Chakra_" I stressed before mentally running through all my wind ninjutsus. I didn't have that many that were low level, and those that I did weren't really battle-oriented. Anything I taught him would be useless in the inevitable battle against Zabuza. Maybe I should start him on a higher level ninjutsu. With his large chakra stores, Naruto shouldn't be in _too_ much danger.

But it was Naruto we were talking about.

Shaking off my dilemma for now, I nodded to Hinata for her to go. She channeled her chakra into the slip of paper and watched as it turned damp with water.

I tsked, "Well, I don't know any water ninjutsus. It goes against my fire chakra nature." I said, feeling slightly sorry for Hinata especially with her pulling that disappointed look. She was the one who needed training the most and I couldn't help her at all. Not many people could, really. Unless... I snapped my fingers, startling my three genin, "I can teach you some stealth techniques for now, I noticed you're good at that. And I'll try to find you someone someone to teach you Suiton jutsus later." Already my mind was going through a mental file of everyone I had seen using Suiton techniques.

All three of my genin were giving me strange looks. I raised an eyebrow in question, but I already knew what was going on in their tiny little minds. "Why... why are you being so helpful?" Sasuke finally asked.

I gave them a smirk, "What, you miss the surly sensei? Because I can easily go back into that." Cue a quick head shake from all my _precious_ genin. I rolled my eyes and explained, "We're going against a S-ranked criminal and his unknown ally. I was barely able to defeat Peach-boy last time-"

Naruto interrupted me before I could continue, "But that's the point!" I was mildly surprised at his outburst, "If you were unable to beat Zabuza then what makes you think we can?!" Was Naruto... admitting that he wasn't strong? "You passed out last time after that battle, and that weird guy in the mask will also be there this time, so what makes you think we're ready for that kind of-"

Being the awesome sensei that I am, I smacked him in the head with one of my crutches to shut him up.

"Didn't I just say that you're getting stronger?" I asked hotly, irritated that my rare praise wasn't warming their sorry little hearts. First time I ever praised Naruto and he was whining about not being strong enough! "Look, I wouldn't have been able to do anything during that fight if you three hadn't done something." I think the genin were a little shell shocked.

Naruto, stupidly, tried to speak again. I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him down until we were inches apart. "Look here, Obito Mini-me, you're going to shut up and learn a jutsu because if you don't that little promise you made back when we fought those chunnin will go to waste!" Naruto clammed up after that. I let him go and struggled to a stand, "Good. Now, lets start training. Sasuke, heel."

My cousin's right eye twitched at being treated like a dog but came forward anyway. I stared at him intently, trying to figure out what jutsu I could teach him. I already knew he could to the Grand Fireball–it had been a big thing around the clan when Sasuke mastered the technique when he was seven, making him yet another prodigy.

I swear the Uchiha clan spat out either prodigies or total losers.

"Do you know the Phoenix Sage Technique?" I asked suddenly, looking down to the duckass haired boy for his answer.

Sasuke added a slight frown to his otherwise emotionless face, "Aniki says that's a Katon technique."

"I know that. I have Katon and Fūton chakra, I can't teach you any Lightning jutsus. Yes or no, did Itachi-san or anyone else teach you the Phoenix Sage?" I said testily. Damn this little brat and his need to question everything!

Sasuke shook his head 'no'.

I grinned sadistically. "Good. Now I get to apply Uchiha-style training on you." I said then chuckled evilly. It might have been my imagination, but Sasuke seemed to turn three shades paler than his normal pasty self. But first, "Sit, while I deal with the others." I commanded my cousin before pushing down on his shoulder, forcing him to sit.

Naruto was over his gloom and doom attitude already, "Oh oh! Sensei, me next! Me next!" He yelled eagerly, waving his hand in the air like a child eagerly wanting to impress the teacher.

Ignoring him, I turned to Hinata. "You're training is simple to explain. Go out deep into the woods and try to sneak back here. Try to suppress both your chakra and the noise you make. If you make it back here before the boys can hear you, then you pass. Got it?" Another nod. "Shoo then." I said, waving my hand towards her. Hinata hesitated for only a moment before disappearing.

As soon as Hinata was gone, my vision was filled with yellow and orange, "Yanagi-sensei! Teach me next! I want to learn a kickass jutsu!" I was kind of starting to miss the 'doom and gloom' Naruto...

Picking up a leaf that laid at my feet I gave it to the blonde brat, "Here."

Naruto squinted at the leaf in confusion, "Huh?"

I picked up another leaf and held it in my right palm, "To master any Fūton jutsu, you need excellent control, even more than the control required for tree walking. Use your chakra to cut the the leaf; it'll be harder than cutting the chakra paper since you must consciouslycut, not just channel chakra." I focused my chakra to cut the leaf I was holding and did just as I told him, "Do that and I'll teach you the Wind Blade." The Wind Blade was a B-rank jutsu. But since Naruto already knew the shadow clone jutsu, which was _forbidden_, I doubted he'd have too much trouble.

"WHAAT?! You said you were going to teach me a cool jutsu!"

"I will. _After_ you learn to control your chakra better."

"I already know how to do that! Teach me the jutsu!"

"Don't make demands, kid, or I'll do nothing. Shut up and train with your leaf."

Naruto pouted, predictably. He crossed his arms and turned his nose into the air like a child. Rolling my eyes I leaned over and pinched his nose between my index finger and thumb. Naruto screeched and tried to swat me off, but I didn't let go, "Look, if you don't learn this then you'll never get _any_ of the wind jutsus I'm going to teach you." A complete lie, but what's a little white lie if Naruto never found out about it? I let go of Naruto's nose and straightened up, "Unless you want to be defenseless when Zabuza comes back, I suggest you don't question my methods. Get to work."

Before Naruto could say another word, I grabbed Sasuke by his ridiculous Uchiha collar and bodily dragged him away, ignoring all his protests along the way. I only let go when we reached a clearing well enough away from Naruto and made Sasuke sit again.

I sat down across from him, staring intently at my cousin. There was a long moment of silence as we stared at each other. Eventually Sasuke wilted under my gaze and shifted nervously. Finally he looked away.

Quickly before he knew what was happening, I shunshined further away and made the appropriate hand signs, "Katon: Phoenix Sage Jutsu!" I intoned and several fireballs flew towards Sasuke.

My cousin's eyes widened as the fireballs roared towards him. I watched in amusement as he dodged the first five before creating a Grand Fireball to cancel out the last of my jutsu. When the fire died away, Sasuke was glaring at me. I smirked and did the same hand signs, "Katon: Phoenix Sage Jutsu!"

Repeat.

By the time I did the third Phoenix Sage jutsu, Sasuke was _pissed._ He snatched a kunai from his weapons pouch and charged me. I laughed at his puny attempts to attack and backflipped away. "Katon: Phoenix Sage Jutsu!"

"Katon: Grand Fireball Jutsu!"

I shunshined behind Sasuke to avoid his fireball and recreated the hand signs, "Katon: Phoenix Sage Jutsu!" Sasuke turned around, his eyes wide and filled with horror as he saw the several mini fireballs flying towards him. There was no way he could avoid them in time. I watched passively as Sasuke managed to dodge the first and second fireball. The third skimmed his right forearm, making the brat cry out in agony. He leapt away from the others, getting out of the fire zone and crouching down to cradle his injured arm.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He shouted at me. I was impressed that he wasn't crying from the burn. The Phoenix Sage Jutsu was hot enough that if the fire grazed you, it would result in a second degree burn. When Obito first taught me the jutsu I was bawling my eyes out when I got burned.

Instead of answering his question, I started making the hand signs again. Sasuke, finally catching on, leapt away. I kept following him, spitting out fireballs, but every time I did Sasuke only leapt back again. He looked good and riled now. My mouth twitched upwards in a smirk, time to throw in insults.

"You know for being a prodigy, you're a pretty lousy one." I drawled casually. Sasuke straightened up from his crouched position, his brows drawn low over his nose. I nodded as if he had said something, "Even my brother, the famed 'dead last of the Uchiha', was chūnin at eleven and had unlocked his sharingan at age thirteen. And let's not get into Shisui and Itachi."

"What's your point?" Sasuke snapped angrily.

I sneered as I made the hand signs again, "My point is that you're going to have a hell of a time learning without that sharingan. Katon: Phoenix Sage Jutsu!"

vvv

"Ouch!" Sasuke actually yelped later that night as I applied salve to his burns.

I rolled my eyes, "Hush up, you big baby! I'm not even hurting you." I swatted the brat over the head for good measure.

Tazuna snorted, "Now you are." He chuckled then made a squeaking noise in the back of his throat when Sasuke and I glared at him.

Naruto seemed torn between laughing at Sasuke and being jealous that he got to learn a jutsu while Naruto only got to practice more chakra controlling exercises. By mid afternoon he had mastered the leaf exercise to I gave him another, when he master that one I gave him another and another. Sasuke seemed grateful every time Naruto showed up saying that he mastered the exercise, since it was a break from my torturous training methods.

I tied a knot in the last bandage and pulled it tight, causing my cousin to wince. Sasuke glared at me as he rubbed his arm. I smirked, "If you tell Itachi-san, he'll only tell you to train more. You know he will." I teased, reading exactly what was on my younger cousin's mind. Well Itachi would probably kill me too, but I'd leave that part out.

No need to give Sasuke any funny ideas.

Feeling an evil look staring at me I looked up to see Tsunami glaring at me hotly, "Yanagi-san, you overdid it today. If you keep this up you won't be able to protect us when that man comes back!" Tazuna's daughter snapped at me.

I waved a flippant hand, "Eh, I'm a jounin, I've been dealt with chakra exhaustion before." I said dismissively. Granted when the last time I had been on an A-rank with chakra exhaustion I had other jounin to back me up, not fresh genin. Not that I was telling any of them that.

Tsunami just continued to glare at me.

Giving in I stood up with a sigh, "Fine. I'm going to bed. Hinata, since you already mastered your training I'm putting you in charge of guarding Tazuna tomorrow. See you two boys in the morning." I said deviously. Sasuke paled a fraction while Naruto cheered happily. With that I hobbled off for another night's rest.

vvv

"Uh... Sensei, what are we doing...?" Naruto asked. Sasuke was off in a little corner of the clearing, practicing the Phoenix Sage jutsu–he had finally memorized the hand signs I had used for the jutsu–while the Kyuubi brat and I sat in a meditative pose in the center of the clearing. It was mid-morning and so far had been peaceful except for Naruto's consent nagging.

I opened an eye, "Right now? I'm enjoying the morning. Shut up and meditate."

"But-"

"No."

"Sensei-"

"Meditate."

"What does-"

"Shut up."

"Hmph!" Naruto pouted, but at least he fell silent. I relaxed and let my mind drift over my musings on Zabuza and his ally again. I needed to figure out what they wanted before they attacked again. Maybe... maybe if they're intentions weren't as evil as I originally thought I could talk them out of their job and thus save bloodshed. Gatou, he would have to go. I didn't need the drug lord around and trying to control the Land of Waves. This whole mission was just a tangled mess. I had to worry about my genin and Tazuna. I had to figure out how to get rid of Gatou. I had to do something about Zabuza and his ally.

Why didn't I have Itachi's insane ability to plan years in advance?!

_Bamf!_

I opened my eyes to see Naruto had fallen over, asleep. I sighed. This kid was a long way from being Hokage, that much was for sure.

"Hey, idiot! Wake up or I won't teach you the Wind Blade!" I yelled in Naruto's ear. From his shriek of pain, I guessed that I probably burst his eardrum.

...Oops...

vvv

"Come on..." I groaned to myself as I dragged the unconscious Naruto back into the house. For a kid, he felt like he weighed a ton! I dumped him at the table and dusted my hands off.

In the meantime, Tsunami was gaping at Naruto's crumbled state, then at me, "What happened?!" She asked shocked. After a moment the older woman's eyes narrowed as if she blamed me for Naruto's sorry state. Though, it kinda was my fault...

I gave her a raised eyebrow, "He fell unconscious. He'll be fine tomorrow." Normal kids took months months to recover from near chakra exhaustion; but Naruto was the Kyuubi container, a little chakra exhaustion wouldn't bother him too much.

"What's the use? You're just going to die!" Three guess who the doomsayer was, and the first two didn't count.

It turned out that Naruto wasn't as unconscious as I thought, he was just being extremely lazy, "What do you mean?! We're training very hard to protect you, and you just-"

Inari cut him off, "It doesn't matter how hard you try, there's no such thing as a hero!" With that the little brat ran out of the room, slamming the door shut. Tsunami ran after her son, calling out his name. I looked at Tazuna, knowing that he had answers.

Grandpa Drunk sighed and set his tea cup down. He nodded towards a torn picture hanging on the wall, one that showed his family there smiling. I squinted at the picture, along the edges that had been torn, I could barely make out part of a masculine torso behind Tsunami. There was a story behind this family's strange behavior, I could practically smell it.

"He wasn't Inari's real father, he came into our family later..." Tazuna started. I sat back and laced my fingers behind my head, I knew I was in for a treat.

^o^

Sorry about the random ending... I kinda forgot about the backstory of Inari and his father so I had to shove it in somewhere... hehehe... ^-^;

**~Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.**

**UP NEXT!** _Bitter Taste of Reality_

Screw flames, I'll be happy to get more than one review! T^T Please review, for this authoress lives on reviews and lately she's been starving when it comes to this story!

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Interview of the Sassy Kind:

_(in response to one of the reviews talking about Obito meeting Naruto. I know I already answered it, but I was in the mood to do something funny. So here it is!)_

**Sukki18: Hello and welcome to "What's that Sass?" featuring the popular actors *cough cough **_**characters **_**cough cough* from 'But I Don't Want to be a Sensei'. This week's our guest stars are the lovable, but not very likable, Hot Headed Uchiha Duo: Obito and Yanagi!**

_*round of applause*_

…

**Sukki18: Pst! That's your cue!**

Yanagi: I know it's my cue, baka.

Obito: Ya sure? You were looking pretty clueless for a moment...

Yanagi: Shut up, Nii-san!

**Sukki18: *clears throat* Okay... well, first question, Obito. Most people are wondering if you ever met Naruto before. I mean, after all Minato was your sensei and you're not a prick like Kakashi is.**

Yanagi: *snorts*

Obito: Eh... kinda. I mean I would watch over him when he was younger and everything, but that was because I begged to be put on his watch. I never went near him personally because of all the suspicion the Uchiha clan was under at the time. I didn't really want to make things worse for the clan.

Yanagi: Even if they are pricks.

Obito: ...Even if they are pricks, yes. But really, none of Team Minato met Naruto until he was already a genin. We were already well known for being Minato-sensei's students and we wanted to respect our sensei's wishes.

**Sukki18: 'Respect sensei's wishes'? What do you mean by that?**

Obito: *scratches back of head* Well, it's kind of hard to explain...

Yanagi: Nii-san and his team didn't want to associate with Dumbass because that meant that anyone with brains would see how much time they spent with him and put two and two together and figure out the obvious.

Obito: _Thank you_, Yanagi.

Yanagi: Your sarcasm is noted and lame, Nii-san.

**Sukki18: *suppressed a sigh* So, Yanagi... how do you like your team so far?**

Yanagi: If I could get away with killing you, I would. Sadly my whole existence rides on you staying alive.

**Sukki18: Sometimes I wonder **_**why**_** I created you... jackwagon.**

Yanagi: 'Jackwagon'? Are you such a priss that you won't even curse properly?

**Sukki18: Watch what you say, **_**Frizzy-sensei**_**, I can easily make your life a misery by chaining you to Shisui AND Naruto for the foreseeable future.**

Obito: Oh please do, author-san! I'll do anything if you do!

Yanagi: *growls*

**Sukki18: Don't test me, **_**Yagi**_**, I can always call them both in **_**now**_**...**

Yanagi: ...Fine. And I hate the team, please let Zabuza kill them.

**Sukki18: *grins* You'll have to wait and see. Well that's all the time we have for now, folks!**

Yanagi: This is the shortest interview I've ever seen...

Obito: Hush you.


	12. Bitter Taste of Reality

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I simply abuse the power of being a fan. XP

Gar, I'm so tired. Today has just been dragging by for me. Every time I check the clock I think _hours_ pass, but no. It's only been **TEN MINUTES!**

Did you know that a group of ravens are called an 'unkindness'?

So apparently Gaara's father, the Fourth Kazekage, was named Rasa. I honestly don't think it was ever mentioned in the series... he was always called 'Yondaime Kazekage' as far as I can remember. Even the old wiki page I have on Gaara (which was updated during the 4th Shinobi War) only refers to him as the Fourth Kazekage, and the Connections Map from (which had been updated to at least the revealing of Obito's identity) only identified him by his title too. Rasa though... the name is just so strange! XD I keep thinking of Raja (the tiger) from Disney's 'Aladdin'

**Anon-lol (guest):** Awwwww, you're so sweet! And don't worry, I never plan to stop this story. I enjoy writing this story the most out of all my fanfics, although it is a struggle cuz I put more effort into it than any of my other stories combined. O.o And don'tchya worry, I have many ideas and explanations regarding Orochimaru and the new 'Tobi' since Obito is still in Konoha. But you'll have to wait and read to figure out what's going on ;P As for Not Your Lady... erm I should get to work on that... *walks away in shame* lol Thanks so much for the lovely review! ^^ You're a wonderful person full of sunshine and smiles and never let anyone tell you differently! (Pfft... Sukki-sama... Call me Sukki-chan or just plain Sukki! XD)

**Guest:** lol Thanks for the review! As you can see I have updated like you asked, I update 'Sensei' every three weeks, so I won't update again until about the first week of May. ^^

**Yay! More than one reviews! Thank you, Anon-lol, Guest, JaggerMania, and wolfs rain lover123 for your kind reviews! Also thanks to everyone for favorites/alerts... there's like over 50 last I checked, so I really don't want to make a big mess out of it.**

Doop-de-Whoop! Guess what I did? Go on... Guess! No? Okay, well I'll tell ya anyway! I posted a doodle of Yanagi on my DeviantArt Account! The link to my account is on my profile. Also, while you're there, _MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE POLL! It's very important to deciding which of my new stories you could possibly be reading next!_ The results as of 4/14 are: **Mask of Lies** 7, **Akatsuki Senpai** 6 **Child Between Us** 4, **My Not-So-Little Merman **2, **Life as We Know It** 2, and **Matchmaker's Madness** and** War on Konohagakure** still at zero. _There are also three new options: __**As Luck Would Have It, Mission Impossible, **__and__** To the Fullest**_

vvv

"GARH! Why can't I get this?!" Naruto yelled when the Wind Blade dispersed again before it even left his fan. I rolled my eyes from my spot in the shade as I fanned Sasuke and I with my own battle fan. My younger cousin was sprawling besides me, almost to the point of panting; but he had mastered the Phoenix Sage jutsu, so I'd cut him a break. I had to admit that Sasuke was pretty good. Without his sharingan, the kid managed to master the jutsu in two days; whereas it would normally take someone a month at the least. It would be interesting how fast he learned new jutsus when he finally unlocked the sharingan, if he ever did.

Naruto turned to where Sasuke and I were lounging, "And what's up with these stupid fans? It makes me feel... girly." The blonde brat said, dangling the fan from his fingers like it was trash.

"Because, to be an efficient Fūton user, you must have a weapon to channel the wind. Fūton chakra is the most fickle of all the five chakra natures. Unless you are a very powerful ninjutsu specialist, then you have to use a type of weapon. I use fans, which is the most common Fūton style weapon, but I've known people to use blades as well. That style of fighting, however, takes more practice." Was I really lecturing the brat? I could hardly believe it. I flicked my fan at him, "Try again."

I rather enjoyed the look of pure loathing that Naruto was giving me.

Standing I tossed my fan down in Sasuke's lap, "Tsunami-san will try and murder me again if I'm out any later. Sasuke, you keep Naruto on track. Naruto..." The blonde tensed and waited for me to continue. Already all three of my genin had grown cautious of my sudden mood swings in the short time I had been their sensei; I was sure only Obito could beat them in predicting my mood now. I was impressed by their quick adaptability, to tell the truth. "If you ever call my fans girly again, I'll shove them up your ass, okay?" I said in a sweet tone that a mother usually reserves for bribing her child.

I'd be surprised if none of Team 7 ended up in the mental hospital.

vvv

"Jounin-san? Do you need something?" Tsunami asked after five full minutes of me hovering in the kitchen. I was starting to think she made me wait that long as punishment for pushing myself to the limit again. For a civilian stay-at-home mother, Tsunami seemed to know a lot about how to deal with chakra exhaustion. It made me wonder if she had experience with ninjas in the past or if it was her motherly attitude showing.

I shrugged nonchalantly, my right hand raising to scratch the back of my head, "I'm bored since the brats are out practicing." I said flippantly. There was a moment of silence before I added, almost hesitantly, "...So do you need any help?"

Tsunami looked surprised. "You cook, Yanagi-san?" She asked. I gave her a deadpanned look and raised an eyebrow, honestly do civilians think that shinobi knew how to fight and nothing else? Granted, most shinobi didn't know how to cook to save their life, but still. It was an insult to the ones that did.

"Yes, I cook very well." I explained deliberately slow, just in case Tsunami didn't get the idea.

She had the decency to at least blush a little, "Forgive me... I didn't-"

I smiled as I went to stand beside her, "Eh, it's alright. Most ninja are horrible at cooking anyway. I'm one of the few exceptions."

Tsunami smiled as she handed me a spare knife, "In all honesty, jounin-san, you don't seem the type." I couldn't really take offense to that since it was true. With my personality I seemed more likely to hit someone over the head then serve them food, which wasn't that far off the mark.

"Heh, not something I haven't heard before." I said cheerfully, "In fact, every time I cook, my brother usually accuses me of poisoning the food." Which was true too; Obito falsely accused me of poisoning the food eight times out of ten. The other two times was when I actually _did_ poison the food. On purpose, of course, I'd never ruin cooking unintentionally. That just wasn't the way of an Uchiha woman.

"How horrible!"

I shrugged, "His accusations aren't from paranoia." I said mildly. It took Tsunami a minute to figure out what I meant, when she did the poor woman paled significantly. For a moment I thought she was actually going to faint and reached out my hand in case she fell down.

"W-what does... How do you... I mean-" Tsunami sputtered, staring at me in horror. I had to suppress the smile that threatened to appear. I forget that civilians were mentally fragile and could hardly withstand the simplest of intimidation tactics.

Maybe Kakashi-nii was right about that sadistic streak of mine.

"I'm kidding," I lied with a wave of my hand, "I'd never poison my brother, even if he is annoying as hell." From Tsunami's look, she probably didn't believe me. Not my fault... mostly. Surprisingly, Tsunami didn't make some absurd excuse to get me out of her kitchen and prevent any possible poisoning. Instead she just fell silent, going into her own little world over the kingdom of the kitchen. I felt like I was intruding, but I helped as much as I could regardless.

At sundown, Hinata and Tazuna came back, meager groceries in their arms. Hinata looked sad and distracted. She silently handed me the groceries before stumbling to her room. I raised an eyebrow at her behavior. Hinata was always the type of person to disappear into the background if you weren't paying attention, but she seemed to be consciously pulling away. I looked at Tazuna, silently demanding an answer.

Grandpa Drunk caught the meaning of my look and shrugged, "She just got a taste of reality." The old drunk said dismissively. I frowned at his vague answer, that could mean a number of things and none of them were good.

I glanced down at the carrot I had been chopping. I knew that I should finished what I started, it would be rude to just drop whatever I was doing especially after I asked if I could help but...

I looked to where Hinata had disappeared to. I wasn't a very social person to begin with, nor was I nice. In fact, I was more angry than I was truly happy. Still, I could tell when someone needed me, it was a matter of me actually doing something that was the problem. As Hinata's sensei, I should be the person she should be able to go to when she was upset over something. But at the same time, I wasn't her friend or mother, I was the person in charge of keeping her alive until she had enough experience to survive on her own. It was my job to protect her life, but I shouldn't coddle her. As an Uchiha I knew I should leave her alone and let Hinata come to terms with whatever she had faced. But if just felt... wrong.

A hand suddenly landed on my shoulder. It was only through my ninja training that I didn't leap out of my skin. Turning I found Tsunami smiling at me, "I think I can handle dinner." She said. I frowned a little, was she really worried that I would poison the meal? If she didn't want my help then why did she even accept it in the first place?

...oh...

I set the knife down with a nod and went off to find my little kunoichi student. Time for some one-on-one girl bonding time. But first, pit stop to my room to pick up a few things.

Hinata jumped when I dropped a box of pocky in her lap. She looked up at me, her pearl eyes wide. I smirked around the chocolate pocky stick in my mouth and settled down beside her, one leg bent so I could rest my left elbow on it as the other dangled off the porch. "Sugar always helps." I said wisely.

Little Miss Shy blushed and looked down at her lap, "S-sorry for bothering you, Y-Yanagi-sensei."

I scoffed and bit down on my pocky stick, "You haven't bothered me, Hyuuga. I'm just bored." Maybe not the best thing to say, if Hinata's downtrodden look was anything to go by. Shit, why didn't I have Obito's skill in talking to people? I always said the wrong thing! Sighing I reached up to scratch my cheek absently, "Wanna talk about it?" I asked casually.

"I-I'm fine, S-sensei." Hinata stuttered out. I rolled my eyes, if there ever was a more blatant lie...

"Bullshit."

Hinata looked up at me, startled. I gave her a stern glare, "Don't ever try to lie to an Uchiha. We may not be as good reading people as the Yamanaka clan or can't smell a lie like the Inuzuka, but we still know when people are lying to us. Stop trying to act tough and tell me what's bothering you."

"I-I just don't understand..." Hinata began quietly. I had to lean in a little to hear her properly, I had a feeling if I told her to speak up she'd clam up instead. "P-people are s-starving h-h-here and n-no one is doing anything. Gatou has everyone so afraid that they're willing to stop working on the bridge, the only thing that could make a difference in their world, and _no one_ has done _anything _for them _ever._ I can't bare to even think that back home I am living in luxury while these people are... are..." Hinata trailed off, probably unable to think of the best word to finish her little tirade.

Despite the seriousness of the topic, I couldn't help but smile a little. I would never have expected Hinata to be the most passionate of Team 7. I had thought it would be Naruto with his exuberant behavior, but no... it was the shy little Hyuuga heiress. I was impressed that during her rant, Hinata's stuttering problem had disappeared like it never existed. Still, Hinata couldn't think that way; it would only get her and her team killed. Unless...

An idea started forming in my head. A horrible one, but one that would help them all in the long run.

"That's life, Hinata. We're here for the mission, and that's it." I said seriously, dropping my grin as if it were never there. I let my expressionless mask slide over my face. By the way Hinata jumped, it was likely she forgot I was even there. It would explain why she didn't stutter, or that she was glaring up at me rather than blushing at the moment.

"How can you say that?" She demanded, apparently shocked by my lack of emotion towards the plight of these people.

I shrugged, "It's what shinobi are raised to think." I said dismissively. It was true; a true shinobi cared for their village first, then themselves, _then_ other people. If it so happened that the village's needs were corresponded with that of outsiders, great; if not... oh well, too bad for those people.

Maybe we'll send them flowers to make up for it.

It was like I was watching a different person, Hinata actually shot me a defiant look, "I don't like it." She stated firmly.

"What made you want to become a ninja?"

Hinata started and gave me a slightly confused look at the sudden topic change. I didn't meet her gaze, instead I stared out at the scenery. I kept ignoring her until the Hyuuga finally said, "I-I am part of the M-Main Bran-" Oh great, she was stuttering again. I was already missing the assertive passionate girl.

"Besides family expectations." I cut her off before she could finish her sentence. Hinata blinked and looked down at the pocky box still in her lap. There was a long moment of silence as she carefully thought why she became a kunoichi. I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She didn't look like she was going to answer anytime soon. I sighed and tilted my head back, closing my eyes, this might take all night.

"T-To... pro-protect the ones I l-lo-love." Hinata finally managed to say.

I cracked an eyelid to look at her, "Is that all?"

Hinata nodded hesitantly.

Scoffing I shook my head, "Such a sentimental fool. If you live past your Chunnin Exam I'll be amazed." The girl looked stricken that I would say such a thing. Quickly she scrabbled to her feet, made a hasty good-bye, and scurried away. No doubt to bawl her eyes out. Perhaps it was a little harsher than I intended, but I wasn't about to let Hinata die because she was soft. No student would die under my watch, that was a promise.

Folding my arms underneath my head, I laid back and closed my eyes. Back to that Zabuza problem we were facing...

**vvv 3rd POV~Sasuke vvv**

Sasuke was the first to notice that something was wrong with Hinata. While his teammate was really shy to begin with, today she seemed almost... skittish. Especially around Yanagi-sensei. And his cousin... she was far more aloof and grouchier than normal, which was saying something. Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if something happened between those two while he and Naruto were training. It was unlikely, given the fact that Hinata and Yanagi rarely talked to each other unless Yanagi-sensei was griping about Hinata's speech impediment. When Sasuke gauged their hosts' reactions to the tension, Tazuna-san and Tsunami-san seemed surprised. That meant something had happened, the question was a matter of _what_.

It was Sasuke's turn to help with the dishes tonight. Yanagi-itoko had laid down a rule that one of the genin would help Tsunami-san; and when everyone tried to protest the Uchiha woman gave them all a dark look that not even Itachi could accomplish when he was mad. No arguments were made after that. Regardless, it gave Sasuke the perfect opportunity to ask Tsunami-san if something had happened between the two females on his team.

With a false sigh of reluctance, to keep up appearance, Sasuke stood when Tsunami did and started piling the dishes up. He took a small pleasure in snatching Naruto's rice bowl away from him before the blonde could finish eating.

That's what the dead last got for trying to hit Sasuke with that jutsu Yanagi-sensei taught him today.

Channeling a small amount of chakra into his muscles, Sasuke lifted the otherwise heavy stack of dishes with ease. The civilians seemed impressed by his 'strength', but it was nothing. Even an Academy student should be able to accomplish such a task... as long as the student wasn't someone like Naruto.

"Tsunami-san?" Sasuke started when he set the dishes on the counter. Everyone else had already disappeared to do whatever they wanted in their free time, leaving the older woman and himself alone.

Inari's mother looked at him with a easy and sweet smile, "What is it Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke blinked at her, momentarily stunned by her welcoming demeanor and the suffix '-kun' that had been added to his name. Sasuke wasn't called that often, if at all, except by his fangirls. Not even his mother added '-kun' to his name. Moreover, Tsunami's warm smile was a pleasant change after spending his days with Yanagi's surly nature and Hinata's blushes.

Shaking his head, Sasuke hurriedly got back on track, "I was wondering if something happened between Hinata-san and Yanagi-sensei today."

Was it just Sasuke, or did Tsunami tense a little?

"Yanagi-san did talk to Hinata earlier, but other than that they haven't-" Tsunami cut off when Sasuke gave a sharp nod of thanks and left.

Blinking Tsunami turned back to the sink and continued washing the dishes. These ninja were a strange group. Tsunami couldn't help but wonder if all ninja were as weird, or if it was just these genin and their seemingly bi-polar sensei.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

"Yanagi-itoko."

I looked down from where I was lounging on the roof and saw Sasuke standing below me, his dark eyes narrowed. The look in his eyes almost reminded me of a mother about to reprimand her child. I raised an eyebrow questioningly. I was about to say 'I didn't do it' but there was a chance that I probably did do whatever the brat was pissed about.

"What did you do to Hinata?" Sasuke snapped when I didn't say anything.

Well well, I did do it after all.

Naughty me.

I gave my nosy little cousin a cool look, "What goes on between between one of my students is no concern of yours unless _you're_ the student. Now, go annoy Naruto or something." I flicked my hand at him and started to turn back to my book, but I suddenly found it pulled out of my hands, "Hey! You little brat, didn't you already learn your lesson?" I growled as Sasuke leapt a few feet away from me, book tucked safely down his shirt.

"Hinata is my teammate, her mental health is of my concern."

I rolled my eyes, "Congratulations, Duckass, you have successfully made concern for a teammate sound like you actually don't give a fuck. Admit it, the only reason why you're confronting me is because you want to annoy me."

"No, I don't."

"You're in denial, big time."

"I am not."

"Sure about that?"

"Yes."

I shrugged, not really in the mood to argue for the sake of arguing, "Alright, you're not in denial, now give me back my book and leave me the hell alone." The little prick didn't do what I said. Instead he crossed his arms.

"Tell me what you did to Hinata. She's more shy than normal."

"And you're more of a pest than normal, what's your point?" I growled.

Sasuke smirked, "You're avoiding the subject." Damn it. I hated stupid observant little brats that had intelligence to figure things out on their own, "That means something did happen between you two. I want to know what." Sasuke stated flatly, losing his smirk like it was never there.

"Since when do you get to make demands?! Did you forget who you're dealing with?" I was genuinely angry now. Until now I was just playing along out of boredom, but _no one_ ordered me around. Not even the Hokage could make me do something unless I wanted to. I especially didn't take orders from a cocky little brat nine years my junior!

It seemed tonight was the night all my genin were being rebellious, "No I didn't forget. I'm dealing with a cowardly sensei who likes picking on children younger than her for the heck of it."

My emotionless mask slammed down on my face. One second I was trying to glare my annoying little bratty cousin into his grave, the next I was staring impassively at him without a shred of emotion to be found. "I don't care what you think of me, Sasuke. My job is to keep all three of you alive. If that means breaking you down on an emotional level so I can build you back up to be stronger, I will." I said flatly.

Sasuke stared at me for a long time, his obsidian eyes wide with astonishment and mouth slightly parted. Then he glared at me, "You intend to apply Uchiha philosophy on a Hyuuga?! Hinata is not mentally strong enough for-"

I cut him off by asking, "Do you like Hinata?"

My cousin blinked at me for a moment before frowning, "Stop changing the subject."

"I'm not," I responded with slight amusement, "I am just wondering why you are so determined to defend Hinata. The only plausible reason I can think is that you have a crush on her."

Sasuke's deadpanned look was priceless, "I see Hinata as a teammate with the possibility of becoming a friend; and therefore I care for her well being. Nothing more." I could tell he was telling the truth. His confession could be taken as a cover up for his true feelings to anyone less observant, but I could see the truth in his eyes.

I waved a dismissive hand and turned away from him, "Whatever. If you want to know what happened go ask Hinata. You're not getting any more out of me." I said. I could feel Sasuke's frown on my back, but ignored it as I laid flat on my back and watched the night sky languidly. The duckass boy sighed and jumped off the roof, disappearing into the house presumably.

When I was certain he was gone, I released the transformation jutsu on the book Sasuke still had and pulled the real one out of my jounin flak jacket.

I turned to my bookmark, a strange heavy feeling in my stomach: two down and one to go.

vvv

"Where are we going, Yanagi-sensei? I want to train!" Naruto whined as I had to bodily drag him through the streets of the little town where Tazuna lived. My eye twitched in irritation. The second I grabbed the blond's skinny arm and dragged him out of the house, he had been complaining.

I swear this kid was not going to make it to his next birthday if he didn't _shut. The. Hell. Up._

Which was saying something since his birthday was in three months.

Currently I was dragging Naruto down the main street of the little town we were staying in. The townsfolk kept staring at us as we walked past. Most of them were skinny and dressed in dirty rags, especially the children. They were so used to poverty and starvation, that it was a surprise to see healthy shinobi walking through town.

Naruto fell quiet after a while, probably becoming aware all the stares. The brat seemed more tense than normal, as if he were waiting for someone to start yelling at us. Given the fact that Naruto had grown up being hated by Konoha's villagers, it wasn't that much of a jump to make the conclusion.

"Sensei, what are we doing?" Naruto finally asked when he had enough of the staring. He sounded oddly quiet and subdued.

I didn't answer.

A child tugged on my pants leg and I looked down to see him smiling up at me sweetly. "Please... can you spare some food, miss?" The little boy asked in a raspy voice. I could tell he had recently gotten over a cough, probably from an illness that went hand in hand with poverty. This boy wouldn't last beyond his teen years, I could tell from past experiences. As I continued to stare down at him impassively, the boy drew back hesitantly. He probably wasn't used to people not breaking down and giving him food immediately.

I grabbed Naruto's wrist again and pulled him along without looking at the starving little boy again. He would just be another forgotten face in ten years. I didn't have time to waste on kids like that, I would go insane if I worried about every child I came across.

Naruto seemed to have a different opinion on the matter though.

"What the hell?! You just ignored that kid!" The blonde brat snapped when we were clear of the village and in the surrounding woods.

I shot him an unreadable look over my shoulder, "So I did." I said as if it were obvious, which it was.

Naruto gave me a glare that could almost compare to Shisui when he actually got mad. "Why." It wasn't a question. I was starting to wonder if there was something in the water that made my genin suddenly so defiant and demanding.

I stopped and turned around to face the blonde brat. Crossing my arms I said, "Because, that boy would be dead before he reached your age. I don't see the point in wasting resources to a lost cause when there are more likely cases around that can live."

Naruto's look turned from angry to disgusted, "So you're just going to let a boy die because you think he doesn't have a chance to live?! What kind of sick twisted person are you?!"

"A shinobi."

By the way his eyes widened in surprise, I knew Naruto hadn't been expecting that answer. He looked at the ground and said nothing. My eyes hardened, "That is a shinobi's job. We must look at a situation and decide what is best for the village we serve. We're not do-gooders, we are soldiers who will kill the innocent if that means that our village is safe." I reached out and jerked Naruto's chin up so he could face me, "That's what a shinobi is, we are but a tool used to achieve the goals of our village and country. Knowing that, do you still want to be a shinobi?"

Naruto's serious frown turned into a glower, "I won't ever back down! I don't care what you say, I'm not going to become like that! If I have to I'll create my own ninja way, _you hear me?!_ I won't be like _you!_" Naruto shouted in that tone he used when he was starting to go into another speech before spinning around and taking off back towards the village. I kept my face neutral, a perfect mask, but on the inside I felt like scum.

They all needed a taste of reality, no matter how bitter it was.

Later as I was walking back to Tazuna's house, I passed by that little boy again. He didn't see me, nor did he or anyone else see how my hand brushed against the back of his shirt, too lightly to notice. The boy would not know how it had gotten there or why he hadn't felt it until he laid down for the night, all he would know was that medicine for his illness would be there, tucking into the back of his shirt.

Shinobi were heartless and saw the needs of their village before anyone else, that was true, but it didn't stop them from doing small acts of kindness; if only to selfishly keep what little shreds of humanity they had left.

^o^

I know someone's going to gripe, so let me remind you: Yanagi is an 'Antihero'! She's going to be doing some things you won't like, this whole chapter is just one big example! *ducks behind wall to avoid pointy objects* Seriously, lovelies, this is a realistic(ish) story and a super long project, so please be patient. To give you an idea of how long this story is going to be, I'm not doing the time skip. I already have an Arc or two in mind for when the canon time skip happens. Plus adding in the better filler episodes and some of the not-crazy movies. Actually to be honest, I'm going to _**TRY**_ (Big emphasis on try) to go all the way to Chapter 700 with no major time skips. Yes, I might possibly be killing myself.

Hey guys just gonna warn ya, OpenOffice keeps crashing on me and I can't fix it. So once I get through my stockpile (Chap 17) you probably won't hear from me in a while. Seriously I'm having to literally save after every few words just so I can type in this message! Hopefully it'll resolve quickly, but I doubt it.

**~If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.**

**UP NEXT!** _Reassuring Brats is Such a Drag_

Flame Friendly, in fact... LETS BURN THIS CHAPTER WITH FLAMES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA (lol just kidding...)

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Interview of the Sassy Kind:

_(Okay so it turns out that I really love these, so I'm gonna do another one. Also, if you have any questions over anything in the story or something to do with the characters leave a review and I'll write up an interview to answer your question!)_

**Sukki18: Hello and welcome to "What's that Sass?" featuring the popular actors *cough cough **_**characters **_**cough cough* from 'But I Don't Want to be a Sensei'. This week's our guest star is the adorkable goofball of the Uchiha: Shisui!**

_*round of applause*_

Shisui: Thank you thank you! No, you're beautiful! You are! *blows kisses*

**Sukki18: So Shisui, some of the audience seems to think that you only get your title as 'strongest of the Uchiha clan' because of your Mangekyu Sharingan. What is your response to that?**

Shisui: Ehehehehe... Well... I never really considered myself the strongest whatever, I just do what I do best. I protect from the shadows with what I am able to use. I don't really like using the Mangekyu.

**Sukki18: Uh-huh... and why is that?**

Shisui: Well mostly because it reminds me of... how I got it. But another thing is that if I use it too much, not only will I go blind, but the enemies of Konoha will learn that I have it. I mean, that's how I got pinned with 'Shunshin no Shisui', ya know?

**Sukki18: I guess that makes sense. Now, another question the audience are wondering: why haven't you and Yanagi talked in five years?**

Shisui: What'chya talkin' about? I talk to Yagi-chan a lot!

**Sukki18: But she doesn't talk to you.**

Shisui: Yeah well... hey wait a minute! You're the authoress, you should know!

**Sukki18: Yes, I do know but I'm not the one asking. The readers are.**

Shisui: Then they can wait until you reveal it... you are revealing it aren't you?

**Sukki18: Tsk tsk, Sushi-nii, that's a spoiler. Fine if you won't answer that question... why do you call Uchiha Yanagi 'Yagi'?**

Shisui: Um...

**Sukki18: …**

Shisui: Erm... well ya see... LOOK A DISTRACTION!

**Sukki18: Wha-?**

Shisui: *shunshined away*

**Sukki18: ...*sigh* Well I guess that's all for today. I'll try to corner Shisui with the question later. If you have any questions or comments, contact the studio (*cough REVIEW BOX cough*) and submit your questions! See you all in three weeks!**


	13. Reassuring Brats is Such a Drag

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Wow... I have nothing to say, I'm only putting this here because it looks weird not to have an author note before the chapter like I normally do...

_Oi! Oi! Important discovery regarding Shisui!_ Okay, so most people believe in the headcanon that Uchiha Kagami was Shisui's father (I do too), despite the series only referring to Kagami as Shisui's ancestor (Shipuuden episode 358). Well I was doing a little research on Narutopedia, and I found that Kagami's page states: **'Kagami Uchiha later died at the age of 25, long before the Uchiha Clan Downfall. [Reference: Fourth Databook, Page 208]'** That got me thinking, so I did a little math on ages. Here's my results _(I did these late at night, and I'm not good at math so don't murder me for a mistake)_: assuming that Shisui was only a few years older than Itachi, possibly even the same age, that makes him about 13 to 18 by the time of his death and the Massacre; if he had lived to the beginning of _Naruto_ then he would be 18 to 23. We know that Kagami is from Hiruzen's generation, having been teammates with Danzo. Hiruzen is 68 at the beginning of the series, ergo he is about 55 to 50 years older than Shisui. _That_ means that Kagami had been dead for roughly 25 to 30 years by the time Shisui was born; so there was no way he could have been Shisui's father. And even if he was, by the time of the Uchiha Massacre, Shisui would be in his early _**THIRTIES**_, did he look Mikoto's age to you in the anime? I thought not. If any of you are firm supporters of the "Kagami as Shisui's father" headcanon, don't kill me... pretty please ^~^; **This had no relevancy to the plot. It's just me being the general nerd I am.**

vvv

"W-where's N-N-N-Na-Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked the next day as she came down for breakfast. I ignored the conversation as I absentmindedly went over my supply of weapons. My instincts were telling me that the final battle between my team and Zabuza was approaching fast. I wouldn't be unprepared this time, I was going to make sure I was as prepared as I could be with my limited resources. I sighed through my nose and wished that the Land of Waves had a weapons shop of some sort. I had gone as far as whittling down sticks I gathered in the woods into makeshift senbon needles.

There was no way in hell I was going to lose this fight.

Tsunami's worried voice brought me back to reality, "Well I hope he's alright. A child shouldn't spend the night out in the woods alone." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I reattached my weapons pouch to my hip. Civilians would forever think that a child was a child and not a ninja, no matter what we did to convince them otherwise.

"I wouldn't worry." Everyone turned to look at me. I found it amusing that there were sparks of anger in the eyes of the two genin present. It was especially funny coming from Hinata. I shrugged, "Naruto is an immature brat, but he's still a genin. He'll be fine..." A smirk crawled up the corner of my mouth, "Although, he could be dead from chakra exhaustion. He's an idiot for practicing that jutsu day in and day out."

Hinata squeaked in fear and daintily covered her mouth with her hands. "S-sensei, you d-d-don't th-think that he–" She didn't finish her thought, as if she was afraid that if she said Naruto was dead it would be true.

Sasuke hummed to himself, "Sensei is probably right. That dobe is probably dead somewhere." I mentally grinned evilly as I filed away the quote for future blackmail against Sasuke. If Mikoto ever found out that Sasuke was being rude to Kushina-san's child, my aunt would hang Sasuke by his toenails and proceed to skin him alive.

Duckass stood suddenly and started to walk away, "I'm going for a walk." He said nonchalantly as he stuffed his hands into his shorts' pockets.

I grinned at my cousin as he passed me, "Say hi to your boyfriend for me when you find him!" I called teasingly. Sasuke actually snarled when he glared at me and I laughed with true delight. I swear teasing Sasuke was almost as fun as it had was to tease Kakashi-nii.

Actually teasing the duckass was more fun because he didn't throw kunais at me.

Or tell Shisui where I was at any given time.

The door clicked shut behind Sasuke and I immediately stood up, "Let's go Hinata, you're turn for practice." I didn't miss Hinata's flinch, but I ignored it. Now was not the time for personal issues, we were about to have a fight on our hands.

Hinata followed me quietly until we reached the clearing I had in mind to use as Hinata's training ground. I sat down in the middle of the clearing and closed my eyes, "Alright, go out in the woods for a bit and try to sneak back here. I'll tell you if I hear you or not."

She didn't move.

I waited for a moment longer before cracking an eye open. Hinata stood there, still in her strangely defiant mood. If not for the blush on her cheeks or the nervous way she twiddled her fingers, I would have said she was glaring at me. I guess I wasn't getting out of this easily.

"Look," I started as I leaned back on my hands and closed my eye again, "it's my job as your sensei to prepare you for the world. I won't apologize for seeming a little harsh; to me Naruto, Sasuke and you are all adults so I won't coddle you. If you can't handle it, then resign from your career as a kunoichi and find a less stressful job." I opened my other eye to pin the quiet Hyuuga heiress with a serious look, "Otherwise, start practicing."

Hinata was quiet for a long time. She just stood in her place, staring at me. I held her gaze. Hinata may be a shy child who stuttered a lot, but I could tell by her eyes that gaining her respect would be a challenge for anyone, and once the had it she would never stop respecting them no matter what they did. I knew that her philosophy came from her clan, so I would respect her beliefs, however much they differed from the Uchiha clan.

Finally the little girl bowed deeply, as one would to a highly respected elder, and ran off into the woods. I smiled, I was actually starting to enjoy this jounin sensei gig... well at least with Hinata.

The two boys were still annoying.

When I was could no longer feel Hinata's chakra signature, I pulled a blank scroll out of my weapons pouch and opened it. Setting it down in front of me, the tip of my foot resting on the edge to keep the scroll from rolling back up, I took out my fan I used for wind ninjutsu and unfurled it. I felt along the fan's edge for the rib that was just slightly larger than the others. Hooking my fingernail under the tiny lip at the top, I pulled out my field brush then I flipped the fan over so I could feel along the base for the compartment that held a block of compressed and died ink.

With all my supplies laid out I proceeded to make the ink. Scratching off a good bit of the powdered ink into the large thumb indent on my fan that doubled as an ink pot, I spat saliva until the ink was smooth and thin enough for writing. Carefully, to avoid spilling my hard won ink, I set the fan down by my leg and dipped the brush into the ink. Leaning closer to the blank scroll I began the emergency report.

_'Red Update_

_Mission status: C-rank updated to A-rank_

_Team: Genin Team 7_

_Report: Three days out of Konohagakure, Team had encountered two chunnin level nuke-nin known as the 'Demon Brothers'. Minimal injuries. The nuke-nin were taken out by Team Leader with a minor AoE genjutsu. Client confessed to requesting a B-rank level Mission under the rank C. Team decision made to deliver Client safely to Destination and abort the Mission. En route to Destination, Team encountered A-class nuke-nin known as Momochi Zabuza. Presumed Alive with Unknown Ally. Team Leader mildly injured: Chakra Exhaustion. Political tension. Gang trouble caused by man named Gatou. Team has made unanimous decision to remain at Destination until problems are resolved.'_

After the ink dried I rolled the scroll back up and drew three bands around the outside, marking the information as High Priority information. Setting aside the scroll I twirled my brush around and used the sharp end of it to stab my thumb. Quickly I made the hand signs and slammed my palm to the ground, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

A small puff of smoke and a small brown hawk stood there, her head cocked to the side as she stared at me with one sharp yellow eye, "Yanagi-sama? You have use of me?" The hawk summon questioned in her smooth silky voice.

I picked up the scroll and presented it to her, "Take this to the Hokage in Konohagakure, fast." The hawk jumped into the air and grabbed the scroll in her talons. I bowed my head in thanks and the hawk was gone so quickly she was nothing but a speck in the sky within a minute. Breathing in relief I knew the scroll would reach Konoha withing two days. All my hawk summons were naturally fast; but Izon was the fastest of the group, I could rely on her.

As I finished wiping the ink out of my fan's thumb imprint, I called out, "I know you're there. Go back and try again." There was a moment of silence before I could feel Hinata's chakra starting to move away from me again. For her to get within 50 meters of me without my noticing was a feat; maybe I underestimated the Hyuuga girl.

**vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv**

Sasuke found Naruto alright, talking to some weird androgynous boy. The Uchiha boy didn't know if he should be amused that Naruto thought the boy was a girl, or annoyed that the loser was blabbing to a complete stranger about shinobi matters. He was leaning towards annoyed. Sasuke wasn't dumb, that boy down there with Naruto wasn't some innocent civilian boy. Having grown up in a ninja clan, Sasuke could spot the small telltale signs of a trained shinobi and that boy was definitely a shinobi of some sort. _Why_ he was bothering Naruto... that was the question.

Sasuke knew enough espionage to know that one should never be discovered loitering around. When it was clear that the strange boy was getting ready to leave, Sasuke ducked back a few yards and began slowly walking back towards the pair. He tucked his hands in his pockets and made a casual show of looking around; when the boy turned around Sasuke pretended that the movement caught his attention and picked up his pace, his dark eyes solely on Naruto. Sasuke glanced up at the strange boy passed him, just a false curious glance, before returning his gaze on the confused blonde.

Only when the boy was far behind him did Sasuke pause and glance back. He knew that subtle tension anywhere, he had seen it in his father, Itachi-nii, Shisui, even Kaa-chan. Almost every adult he had ever come across in the clan had that same invisible aura of caution that seemed to run in their blood. There was no mistaking it now: that boy was a shinobi. And from his careful avoidance of Sasuke, the navy haired Uchiha also knew that the boy wasn't an ally.

Yanagi-sensei was going to be pissed if she knew there was a possible third-party of ill intent; but she would be even more pissed off if Sasuke didn't warn her of the possibility. Sasuke couldn't help but sigh a little, never had he understood why Shikamaru was always babbling about troublesome women until now.

To take out his frustration, Sasuke bashed Naruto on the head. The loser automatically started snapping at Sasuke, both his hands raising to cradle his poor abused head, "Hey what was that for?!"

Sasuke crossed his arms, "Hey, loser, did you forget about breakfast?"

The blonde idiot blinked a few times before giving Sasuke his signature cheesy grin and chuckling obnoxiously. Sasuke made a disgusted sound and pulled a face, knowing he wouldn't like whatever this idiot just did. He was starting to understand why Yanagi was always so grouchy; if Naruto was anything like Obito-itoko then Sasuke's respect for his female cousin just raised a few pegs.

Naruto's grin grew until it took up one-third of his face and he jerked his thumb towards him with a large wink, "Just wait til you see what _I_ mastered last night! Frizzy-sensei is going to be so impressed!" With that the blonde idiot leapt to his feet and took out the much battered fan that Yanagi-sensei had loaned to him.

Sasuke mentally groaned. Yanagi was going to _murder_ his teammate for destroying one of her weapons.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

_Bam!_

"Jounin-san! Don't do that!" Tsunami squeaked in alarm when I banged my head against the table. I only responded by repeating my action, just to annoy her. Damn it damn it damn it! I didn't need any more complications! I needed a nice, straight-forward battle to the death with the Demon of the Mist; I _didn't_ need some secretive little bastard trying to throw a stupid plot twist into this! Especially not with three genin to watch over. I was going to have a hard enough time keeping the brats alive while fighting Peaches, having a secondary opponent was going to be next to impossible!

Just kill me now, please.

"Er... Yanagi-sensei..." My head snapped up and I pinned Naruto with a deadly glare. He immediately went white and visibly shivered. Both Hinata and Sasuke edged away from the little brat, knowing that all hell was about to break loose.

I lifted a hand and jabbed my index finger in Naruto's direction, "You." I hissed, my voice so cold I was almost surprised that I couldn't see my breath, "You had better start recalling that conversation you had with that bastard. Every. Word. O_r. Else_."

Naruto chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his neck, "Uh... Okay... I woke up and I saw this guy sitting there, only I thought she was a girl and-" He fell silent. The Kyuubi brat's breathing started to quicken. It was obvious that he couldn't recall the conversation to save his life, which was truly on the line at the moment. His blue eyes darted to Sasuke in a panic, trying to seek out help. My cousin only looked away from his teammate, obviously not wanting to get in the crossfire.

My eyes landed on Sasuke, he wasn't going to get out of this. "If you have information, share. Don't withhold information simply because you're too scared of your own sensei." I snapped.

I might not have interacted much with my cousin before I became his sensei, but I knew how to push his buttons long before I met him. I made a point in knowing ever single weak point in all my clansmen, both physical and mental. Sasuke wasn't one of the only Uchiha who didn't like being called a coward, but he was the most irrational when someone did. Sasuke was very easy to manipulate. Having a father like Fugaku did wonders; you would either end up as unbreakable and unpredictable like Itachi or basically a pawn like Sasuke.

As predicted, Sasuke stiffened and turned to glare at me. I kept my expression blank so he wouldn't see the victory in my onyx eyes. This boy was even more easy to manipulate than Obito, which was saying something.

I closed my eyes, "Stop glaring and start blabbing." I said to both the boys. Leaning back against the wall by the doorway, I closed my eyes as I began memorizing whatever came out of their mouths. Both were amateurs when it came to relaying information, but I could work with that. In the back of my mind, I added reporting in a concise manner and memorization at the blink of an eye to the already long list of what I needed to teach my brats.

If we survived this stupid mission that is.

"What does it matter?!" All conversation stopped when Inari screeched in that whiny voice of his. My eyebrow twitched in irritation, this kid was really pushing it. My already _endless_ patience was coming to an end and someone was going to get hurt soon.

Everyone looked to see the littlest brat standing at the doorway beside me, his childish eyes wet with unshed tears, "You're all going to die anyway! Gatou has a whole army, they'll just beat you and kill you. You're only wasting your-OW!" Inari fell over on his butt with his strange little hat flying off.

Everyone twisted to give me various looks of surprise and anger. I only cracked my knuckles and shook my hand, "Such a hard head, that actually hurt." I grumbled to myself. And I thought Naruto had a hard head, but he had nothing on Inari.

"Jounin-san!" Tsunami cried out in alarm and anger. I had punched her child after all, any decent mother would be upset; even if her brat was asking for it. I wouldn't be surprised if she kicked the team out because of what I did.

Still, I had to set this doom and gloom brat right. I set a cold gaze on Inari, who shivered and whimpered. The little coward. I hit Naruto harder than that and he never acted any different. "Never tell a ninja that their career is a wasted time. And stop sniveling, it's silly and childish."

Inari was very close to tears by then, "You don't know anything!" He wailed, "You don't know anything about this country, you're just butting in! All of you are just laughing and playing around, you don't know what it's like to be treated like trash!" I was positive that every member of Team 7 stiffened at that comment. We all had sob stories that were worse than Inari's and we knew it.

Naruto cut in before I could even open my mouth, "Oh yeah? Listen to yourself whining like some sorry little victim." I glanced at Naruto as my expressionless mask fell over my face, concealing any trace of emotion. First I would see how the kiddies handled it, then step in and finish up whatever was left. Naruto glared at Inari, his blue eyes full of anger and self-righteousness, "You're nothing but a coward!"

"N-Naruto!" Hinata squeaked in a tiny voice, her pearl eyes wide with surprise. I doubt she had ever seen him so serious. Even I hadn't, and I had been put on his watch many times while I was part of the military police.

Naruto stood up and stomped away with a growl of frustration. I watched him go silently, keeping an eye of the reactions of my other two genin brats. Hinata looked as if she wanted to go after him, but she stayed in her seat, her Hyuuga eyes trailing after Naruto's appalling orange jumpsuit. Sasuke had retreated into his own mind, keeping his expressions to himself like I was doing, but I could tell by the way his eyes followed Naruto that he was mildly concerned for his teammate. I returned my gaze to Inari to find the little brat sobbing, thick trails of tears coursing down his cheeks. He sat there for a moment, his head bowed so no one could see his eyes, before fleeing from the room like the coward he was.

Time for me to step in.

I waited until everyone had gone to bed before searching out the gloomy brat. Even though Inari was a civilian, he still had a chakra signal, albeit an extremely weak one, so finding him on the back porch was a piece of cake. I smirked when I found him sitting at the porch's edge, his knees up to his chest.

"Hey twerp, got a minute?" I asked, bopping the kid on the back of the head lightly.

Inari flinched away from me, his hands going to hold his hat in place, as his black eyes stared at me with nervous anticipation. Seeing how I nearly tried to brain him at dinner, I didn't really blame the brat. Inari quickly covered up his fear with a sharp glare that didn't belong on his young face, "What do you want?" He asked, his bravado only breaking when his question ended in a high pitched squeak.

I took that as an invitation to sit down beside the brat, "You asked what do any of us know about suffering. It came to my attention that Naruto never answered your question, so I thought I would." I said conversationally. Inari shifted away from me a little. I scoffed at his blatant fear of me and leaned back on my hands, my feet dangling inches above the water, "Where do I begin? Hm... well, I was raised by my brother, whom I don't really like, because my parents died before I even turned three; during the Third Shinobi War. Both Nii-san and I are practically outcasts from the clan because of some stupid reason, too. Sasuke's father constantly belittles him and says he should be more like his older brother Itachi. Hinata's father... yeesh, that guy is worse that Sasuke's dad. He actually thinks that Hinata is a waste of space because she's not the strongest in the clan. Even worse, she's the Hyuuga heiress so the expectations put on her are doubly high."

Inari looked more and more surprised at each passing sentence. His young face began to lighten with understanding that he wasn't the only one suffered. I met his gaze and turned serious, "Then there's Naruto. He grew up without knowing his parents too; even worse, he didn't even have friends or anyone who cared about him. At least I had my brother and his team, Naruto had no one ever. Still..." I trailed off and looked up at the low hanging moon, "I never saw him cry or give up. Not even when he completely screws over a mission, he'll still try his best to make amends. That brat wants to be respected, and he'll do anything to get it."

I smiled kindly at Inari, "My whole team has a bunch of sob stories and we all reacted in our own way. It's part of what makes us who we are and not your everyday idiot walking around on the streets. I guess you can cope through your losses by crying too... but won't you get tired of crying after a while? Isn't it better to be happy all the time, and loud and obnoxious?" Inari looked down at his feet, contemplating. I chuckled and laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. He didn't flinch, "If there's anyone who can possibly understand what you're going through, it's Team 7. We're here to protect your grandfather and make sure your home stays safe from Gatou. And, if I have to die for that to be a reality, then so be it. I'll gladly give my life."

The little boy stared at me, awe buried deep within the obsidian orbs. I snorted at his expression and moved my hand from his shoulder to wrap his neck in a playful choke hold. With my free hand I ground my knuckles into his scalp, "Eh, don't give me that look. I may be a grouchy kunoichi, but I still have a heart. I just like confusing people!" I said teasingly and for the first time since my team had arrived, I heard Inari laugh. I grinned in response as I let the kid free from my grip and leaned back again. In truth, I didn't know how to talk to people unless I was yelling at them, but for some reason this little brat managed to break the ice.

I snorted as I closed my eyes. If Nii-san could see me know, I was sure he would die laughing.

^o^

Ta-da! Sorry for jumping all over the place, I write in tandem with my moods and when I wrote this chapter my emotional levels were apparently all over the place... *nervous chuckle* ...Don't kill me...?

**~Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.**

**UP NEXT!** _Round 2 with Peach-boy_

Flame Friendly!

**VVV^^^OMAKE^^^VVV**

**The Curse of the Uchiha**

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"Man, why are we always the ones called off on stupid S-ranked missions?" Obito complained as Team Minato checked in at Konoha's gate. Kakashi shot Obito an irritated look while the two chunnin guards snickered. The Uchiha gave them a sideways glance, they seemed familiar, but Obito couldn't remember their names to save his life.

Rin giggled behind one hand and smiled fondly at Obito, "Because, Obito-kun, we're the only full team outside of the ANBU Corp that is cleared for S-ranks missions." She explained happily. It wasn't often that Rin got called out on missions, but she loved every chance she got.

Obito beamed at his childhood crush, "Oh yeah! I guess it's awesome to be so powerful. But still, I wish they'd give Team Minato some off time. Between the police force and missions for Konoha, I'm being worn out."

"Yet you somehow still manage to run your mouth." Kakashi interjected drily.

Immediately Obito glared at his rival/friend, "Got something to say, Baka-Kashi?!"

"I just said it."

Obito pointed at Kakashi, "Stop being so cool! We're not little kids anymore!"

Kakashi pulled out his book and opened it to his place, "You could have fooled me." He commented. Kakashi smirked under his mask when he heard Obito gritting his teeth. Mentally he made another tally. While he refused to participate in that silly rivalry with Gai, Kakashi saw no qualms in annoying Obito.

Both men jerked forward a little when someone hit them upside the head, and turned to Rin, who was standing behind them looking annoyed, "You're both children, now grow up and march! We've gotta report to the Hokage." The little woman ordered. Before Kakashi or Obito could do what she asked, she grabbed her teammates by the fronts of their jounin vests and dragged them along behind her.

Obito pouted as he struggled halfheartedly to escape Rin-chan's grip. "Rin-chaaaan! We can walk on our own, ya know!"

"It's not the walking that's the problem, it's your bickering! Honestly, you two never quit."

Kakashi didn't seem all too bothered about being dragged around by a woman half his height and weight. "You don't care when it's Obito and Yanagi fighting." He commented, still not looking up from his porn.

Rin and Obito both shot their teammate nasty looks, but Rin was the one who spoke, "That's because they're siblings and it's none of my business. Besides I'm not constantly around Yanagi-chan. It's you two idiots I've got to deal with."

Kakashi muttered something under his breath that Rin couldn't catch. Obito, however, seemed to understand him and snorted in amusement. The Uchiha quickly ducked his head in shame and sheepishly looked at Rin, proving that whatever Kakashi had said wasn't very kind about her.

Rin could sometimes understand why Yanagi was so short tempered, if these goons were the ones who raised her. Luckily for Rin, they had arrived at the Missions Office and could give their stupid report and disperse. While Rin loved her teammates like her own family, she could only take so much of them in one sitting.

vvv

Hiruzen groaned and rubbed his temples after the rowdy team left. He would never understand how Minato-kun stayed sane around them, especially after all the drama that had happened between the three kids during the Third Shinobi War. It was one thing to have a student supposedly die and come back months later alive and well–that happened a lot in war; but it was entirely another thing to have another student be captured by Kiri-nins and forced to be the jinchuuriki of the Sanbi.

It was because of Team Minato that people said having an Uchiha on the team was asking for trouble. What was alarming was most of the time they were right; Team Minato, Team Shisui, ANBU Team Ro, and now apparently Team 7 all had horrible luck when it came to missions.

Hiruzen looked at the emergency mission report he had received from Uchiha Yanagi only moments before Team Minato came barging in the Missions Assignment Office. How on earth did Team 7 manage to somehow go from a normal C-rank mission to A-rank was beyond the Hokage's understanding, even with the explanation Yanagi had given him.

Frustrated, Hiruzen took a long drag on his pipe and read over the report again. This put him in a bind, he knew that he should send reinforcements to aid Uchiha Yanagi, but he doubted they would be reached in time. His only hope was the pray that Yanagi had the situation under control, she didn't request reinforcements which meant she could handle it.

Hiruzen paled at the very thought of how many people would be after his hide if Yanagi's team failed to return. At the top of that list would be Obito and Kakashi. Hiruzen shuddered at the thought of facing the two top shinobi in the village.

^o^

Poor Hokage... he might have a heart attack... XD

And _that_, my lovelies, was the first Omake of 'Sensei'! Be prepared to have more, because I really like writing them! ^^ Seriously, I have a list going. Hm! Speaking of which, if you have an idea for an Omake, PM or review me about it and I'll try to work on it! It might not make it cuz I've gotta stay as close as cannon as I can, but I'll twist it any way I can to feature your Omake! ^^

Review? :3


	14. Round Two with Peach-boy

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Wow... it's been... forever since I've written. O.o Well to you it hasn't because I'm 7 chapters ahead, but to me... just wow. I think this is the first chapter I've written of the new year! lol

So how did Sasuke (And by extent Neji, since he wore they same type of shorts) keep his shuriken holster on in PTS? Cuz he wore those loose white shorts most of the time and there's never any sign of the fabric being clinched or anything that would indicate that Sasuke tightened the straps to his _leg._ The shuriken holster seems to wrap around his shorts with only the sheer willpower of Uchiha BSing to hold it there. I know it was probably just an oversight from Kishimoto and Studio Pierrot but still the whole thing bothers me. And now you're all probably never going to stop seeing it like I am. GOOD! **Suffer with me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA **lol just kidding! ^^

Alright! Well it turns out you won't have to worry about this story going on hiatus for a long while yet, cuz I finally gave up and just downloaded a totally different program called LibreOffice, which is the sister program to OpenOffice. So far I like it better, mostly because it doesn't crash on me within a minute of opening the program! Unfortunately my weekend was spent going through almost every document on my flashdrive and adding back in all the words, phrases, and slang that I use back into the dictionary cuz I'm OCD like that. _**I HAVE 554 DOCUMENTS IN MY NARUTO FANFICTIONS ALONE AND THAT'S ONLY ABOUT A THIRD OF MY USB STORAGE SPACE!**_

**IMPORTANT! DO NOT IGNORE THIS OTHERWISE WHEN YOU START GETTING MAD BECAUSE I DON'T UPDATE YOU'LL LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT! Yep, you heard right, **_**I will not be updating for a long time**_**! Why? Because I got a summer job as a camp's program assistant in Colorado. I am not expected back in Texas until ****JULY 31**** which means, from here til then, there will be no updates of any kind, no interaction on the internet (sorry PM Buddies)… no internet access of any KIND. This is the last chapter for Sensei until I return, enjoy it! I leave on May 25, so PM Buddies have until then to talk to me.**

**Also… GO VOTE ON THE POLL, PLEASE~!**

(Ugh, long AN sorry…) Anyway, someone pointed out that I was pretty much canon with the first fight, which is a no-no considering that Kakashi wasn't fighting so I was just ripping it off. My bad, this is my first time writing a canon driven story rather than an AU so bare with me. That being said, I made extra sure that this chapter wasn't as… redundant? Canon? (meh) as the first fight. I still think I failed though *hangs head in shame*

**RaNDoM GueST:** No I don't think you've ever reviewed on Sensei… but I'm sure Yanagi thanks you for her new throne! XD

vvv

I nudged Naruto's side with the toe of my sandal. He didn't even twitch. Squatting down I poked the brat's cheek with a rigid finger, "Hey, dumbass..." I said loudly, knowing that a knucklehead like Naruto would react if I called him names. He still didn't move. "Obito Mini-me. Brat. Idiot. Dumb blonde. Dead last. Coward." When the brat didn't react at all I stood back up with a sigh and turned to the others standing in the doorway.

"Well either he's dead or out like a light post." I told them, scratching the back of my head. Hinata gasped a little, her hands going to her mouth as she no doubt thought that her precious 'Naruto-kun' was dead.

Tsunami looked as equally worried as the little Hyuuga heiress, "You don't think he overdid it in training, do you? He was looking pretty exhausted last night.

"Hn. He was passed out in the forest yesterday morning." Sasuke commented thoughtfully.

I groaned and hung my head, I really didn't need this at the moment, "Fine, Sasuke will be on guard duty today and Hinata will train." I said defeated. I hated it when people screwed up my schedule! "Hinata you know the rules. If anyone suspicious shows up, head for the bridge and warn everyone."

"H-Hai."

Sasuke frowned, "But that was the rotation yesterday." I glared at him. Like I didn't know that already, idiot.

"Hinata still needs to train in her stealth and since Naruto is stealing your rest day, you can take his spot on guard duty. Don't complain, Duckass, true shinobi don't protest orders." Like I predicted, Sasuke snapped his jaw shut and didn't make another sound.

Really, it was insulting how predictable that kid was.

"Look, if it makes you feel better, I'll go with you that way you can relax at the bridge." Everyone but Inari gave me strange looks. I returned their gaze with an unamused look, "Stop staring like calves at a new gate. I'm bored." I snapped, perhaps just a little too defensively. By Sasuke's sudden smug look I was guessing he knew why I really was going.

I was _worried_ about the brat.

With good reason though. There was no such thing as a jounin who didn't have a sixth sense for danger; and I felt more jittery than when Obito accidentally released those rabid squirrels in the house.

I mentally shuddered at the memory.

I moved past the miniature crowd and lead them outside. Turning to Tsunami I began issuing orders, "When Naruto wakes up, just tell him to practice his taijutsu; you also have permission to send him on any errands you have. Hinata, I want you to try and sneak up on as many woodland creatures as you can. If you catch five animals in a row then join Sasuke and I on the bridge. Duckass, Grandpa Dunk, let's go." I turned on my heel and immediately started for the bridge without waiting for the two idiot males catch up to me.

"Geez, for a woman you walk pretty fast." Tazuna panted when he and my cousin finally caught up. It was really pathetic that we were almost to the bridge by that point.

I gave the old drunk an unimpressed look, "Not all women are geishas or civilians who don't have anywhere important to be. The success of a mission could rely on fast feet, I could possibly save a life that would otherwise be lost if I arrive quicker than my enemies anticipate."

Tazuna pulled a face, "Hey kid, are all shinobi like this one or is it just her?" He asked Sasuke.

Sasuke just shrugged and didn't comment. He practically had to jog to keep up with us adults; I couldn't tell if he wasn't answering because he didn't want to or because he was too focused on not falling behind. I was guessing it was a little bit of both.

"Tazuna, how long do you have before the bridge is finished?" I asked the old man. Now wasn't the time for fun and games. That sense of dread I had been feeling all morning was getting worse the closer we got to the bridge.

Grandpa Drunk shrugged, "Depends. If I have a full roster of workers, it should only be a few weeks. But with Gatou controlling everything and scaring the people, I keep losing my workers. Just yesterday I had one of my foremen quiet! I don't even have half of a roster now, it could take _months_ with the amount of workers I got."

Grimacing, I halted at the entrance to the bridge, "That's what I feared." I muttered.

Tazuna gaped at his unconscious employees littering the bridge. I could tell by their chakra levels that the men were still alive, but only just. "What tha-?!" Tazuna exclaimed, his face twitching in horror. I glanced at him then at Sasuke. Sasuke looked back at me, his eyes gleaming with an odd shine of excitement. He was ready.

A sudden mist blew in from the ocean. I snarled in frustration and stepped in front of Tazuna, "Stay behind me." I said sharply. Tazuna didn't say anything, but he didn't move.

That stupid creepy chuckle drifted out from the fog, "Sorry to keep you waiting, Uchiha. I see you still got that brat with you, but what happened with the other two? Did they run off?" I heard a slight clicking behind me, but didn't glance towards my cousin. I knew he wasn't doing something stupid. Of all my genin I trusted Sasuke the most in a fight, even if he had bouts of cowardice when I least expected it.

Peaches chuckled again, "Oh look, he's shaking again. Pathetic." The nuke-nin laughed mockingly.

There was a small intake of air from Sasuke and I felt Zabuza's chakra spike as water clones surrounded the three of us. I tensed and palmed a kunai, ready to throw it at the clone's head that was in front of me if he so much as blinked in a way I didn't like.

Sasuke scoffed, "I'm trembling with... excitement."

The Zabuza water clones seemed surprised at the admission and I only rolled my eyes. Why couldn't the need for dramatics skip Sasuke? It skipped Itachi and me, why not one more generation?! I had enough drama from Naruto, I didn't need Sasuke filling in for that little brat too.

Speaking of brats...

I glanced at my cousin out of the corner of my eye, "Play nice." I said teasingly. That was all the permission Sasuke needed. He twirled the kunai in his hand around a finger so that the blade was pointing at the clone in front of him. With a delightful smirk that reminded me a little too much of Obito's sadistic grin, my baby cousin pounced at the water clones.

While Peach-boy's clones were busy trying to defeat an Uchiha brat, I ran through the signs for a summoning and slammed my hand to the bridge's surface, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" I heard Zabuza growl angrily as a swarm of normal sized hawks flew up from the seal, spiraling into a twister of feathers and harsh cries that surrounded me like a moving wall. I held up my right arm and one of the hawks detached itself from it's flock. "Fly to Hyuuga Hinata and inform her to come as back up." The hawk dipped its head at my command and took off to the sky, flying out of sight before turning in the direction of Hinata. No need to tell our enemies where an ally was after all. The rest of the hawks dispersed among the cables of the bridge, their sharp yellow eyes watching.

While I was busy with my summonings, Sasuke finished up his little spar with the water clones. He looked about as cocky as a true Uchiha when he returned to his spot beside me. I mentally whimpered and hoped that I didn't get an arrogant little brat who thought he was God's gift to man. If so, I was going to beat that out of him and suffer Itachi's wrath with a smile on my face.

"Ooooo, the brat's improving." Peach-boy said from my right. All three of us turned to see the man with horrible fashion sense giving us a leer. At least I thought it was a leer, it was kind of hard to tell when the lower half of his face was bandaged up. His ally stood beside him, still wearing that false hunter-nin mask. "Looks like you've got competition... Haku." Zabuza continued.

"So it seems." The boy, Haku, murmured quietly.

Trolling time.

"Oi oi. Peachy's ally, or whatever the hell your name is, are you a boy or a girl? Because honestly, you're a very androgynous individual." I asked, intentionally playing the ignorant idiot. Tazuna and Sasuke were giving me looks that could only be described as 'way to ruin the suspense, dummy'.

Haku and Zabuza exchanged looks and I took my chance to continue, "You know what? It doesn't matter anyway, I think I'll just call you Zabuza's Bitch." I said with a smirk. Both nuke-nins snapped their heads around to glare at me–well I assume Haku glared, it was hard to tell with the mask–while I cackled in delight of pissing my enemy off.

"Take care of the brat. I'll take the bitch." Zabuza growled.

Haku turned his gaze on Sasuke, "Right." The kid murmured again. Then he _moved._ Startled I opened my mouth to shout a warning to Sasuke, but Zabuza was on me before I could utter a single syllable.

I back flipped away from Tazuna, distancing myself from the client and the man trying to kill him. At the moment Zabuza seemed pretty focused on me, so I didn't have to worry. I smirked as I kicked Kubikiribōchō away from me. "Don't tell me I struck a nerve." I cooed as I deflected another swing with my kunai. Zabuza snarled like an angry animal and charged at me again. I snorted and ducked under his swing. If I had know pissing Peaches off would make him attack like a predictable wild animal, I would have done it a long time ago.

Kicking off the ground, I gave myself enough time to spare a glance at Sasuke. My eyes widened as I saw Haku performing hand signs with only one hand. That wasn't something you saw everyday. I wonder if the sharingan could somehow pick it up.

Before I could activate my sharingan to see if I could, Zabuza attacked again, "You're opponent is me! Let's leave the kids to their game."

I shot Zabuza a nasty glare, "Oh, go drown in your own water ninjutsu! I didn't come all this way with a bunch of brats and a drunk old man to hear you blowing steam, ya old windbag." I snapped, getting irritated. I knew Zabuza wasn't taking this fight seriously. He was just trying to keep me from Sasuke and Haku's fight.

Peachy paused, "A bunch of brats, eh?" He quoted, sounding oddly interested. "So you don't think that those genin are worth anything either."

"Oh I think they're worth a lot of things, I just like calling them brats. They're _my_ brats and I'm the only one allowed to call them that and get away with it." I snapped back and flung my kunai at Peachy-boy's head to emphasize my point. He easily ducked under the kunai and charged at me, his sword back and ready for a strong strike to my legs. I leaped into the air over his blade and put my hands down on Zabuza's back, flipping over him to land between him and the kids.

I smirked, "Ya know, some people would think you were compensating for something with that big blade of yours." I commented sweetly.

"You're letting that big mouth get away again, Uchiha." Peachy growled.

I shrugged, "Well at least I'm not trying to prank you as well as fight you like my brother does. That's just annoying." I said coolly. From the look in Zabuza's eyes, he thought my inappropriate remarks were a hell of a lot more annoying.

"Argh!" Both of us whipped around to see Sasuke kicking Haku away.

Sasuke stood in his spot, smirking, "Seems you're not as fast as you think you are." He said, idly spinning his kunai around his index finger. Cocky little git, I was definitely beating that arrogance out of his system.

Zabuza glared at his ally, "Haku. Stop messing around and letting a brat beat you, get on with it!" He ordered.

The masked boy stood back up easily, "Yes." He responded in an almost robotic voice.

Frowning I turned my back on Zabuza to watch what the masked brat was doing. Icy blue strands of chakra haloed Haku and he bowed his head, "I'm sorry it's come to this." The boy said softly and made a strange sign. The temperature dropped drastically and I uttered a curse under my breath as I automatically regulated my chakra to keep myself warm. Of _course_ our newest enemy would have some kind of tie to cold weather. It wouldn't be hell if he didn't.

Stupid karma demons and their stupid agenda against me.

The water around Sasuke and Haku suddenly leaped up into the air to form flat frozen surfaces. Haku stepped into the mirrors, senbon needles in his hands. Meanwhile I gaped in surprise, it was _not_ cold enough to form ice like that. Even the most powerful shinobi with water nature had a hard time creating ice even in temperatures where it was easy to form. That only meant one thing.

Kekke Genkai.

Peaches chuckled behind me, "Seems you figured it out."

Growling I ran for the ice mirrors, but Peach-boy flash stepped in front of me. "If you're going to fight, you will fight me." He snapped.

I glared at him. "Bastard." I spat out.

The peachy nuke-nin chuckled creepily, "Oh? Out of your witty comments? I'm crushed." I could practically taste the sarcasm in the air.

"You have three seconds to step aside before I _really_ crush you."

"How cute. You think you can defeat me. You weren't able to before, what makes you think you can now that we're surrounded by even more water than before?" My eyes widened a fraction and I flung my kunai at the water clone that I thought was Zabuza and leaping away before the real Zabuza could cut me down. He didn't look all that happy when he turned to face me. He scoffed when he saw my sharingan, "That again? Are all the Uchiha so weak that they rely on that silly Kekke Genkai of theirs? How pathetic."

Sasuke yelped and I looked over Peaches shoulder to see Haku raining senbon down on my cousin like a vengeful thunderstorm. Anger washed over me, hot and heady, when I landed my gaze back on Zabuza. "Two seconds to move."

Peaches sneered.

"One."

He didn't move.

I held my right arm above my head and brought my left to my mouth. Curling my index and thumb around my tongue I whistled loudly, using a small wind ninjutsu to amplify the sound. My hawk summons, having been sitting on the sidelines forgotten, all took flight. They flew in circles like a roiling thundercloud of brown and black, using my upraised arm as the pivot point.

"Last chance to move." I said. Zabuza stubbornly stayed where he was. My mouth twisted in an ugly grimace and I lowered my right arm to point at the Mist nuke-nin. The hawks gave one last turn before following my finger and shooting straight towards Peach-boy.

He smirked.

My eyes widened.

"Hha!" I felt water douse my back and I spun around to see Hinata standing in a puddle of water, formerly a water clone, panting slightly. She gave me a shaky grin, "I-I'm sorry Y-Yanagi-sensei. I c-came as fast as I c-c-c-could." She stuttered slightly, a blush forming on her cheeks. I didn't blame her, Hinata had suddenly become the center of attention after pulling a stunt like that. Even Haku stopped torturing my poor cousin to stare at her.

I grinned, "Hey, I'm not complaining. You just saved me from being skewered like a roast pig." I joked before turning serious, "Guard Tazuna, don't leave his side for any reason." I ordered. Hinata gave a firm nod and leaped sideways until she was in front of Tazuna, in a Gentle Fist stance. When I turned to face Zabuza again, he did not look amused.

"Oh... did she ruin your little scheme?" I asked innocently, pressing an index finger to the corner of my mouth like a slut trying to act cute.

That did it, I could practically hear Peachy's patience snap. He snarled and charged at me, "Shut up!"

I laughed as I jumped away from him, "Looks like you underestimated my brats, Peach-boy. Sasuke and Hinata are clan kids and having been training with their families since they could hold a kunai right." I ducked under Peachy's swing and shot my left leg out for a round house kick. Zabuza launched into the air to avoid my leg and I pulled back before he could land on it. "Sasuke is the best in his class and no one can defeat Hinata in taijutsu. She's a Hyuuga after all, it's in her blood." I taunted as I back flipped away from the Kubikiribōchō.

Skidding to a halt a few feet away from Peaches I smirked, "And what have you got? A coward with a nice Kekke Genkai. Well, I've got two brats with Kekke Genkai and neither of them are cowards!"

Zabuza's face twisted unpleasantly, "Haku, stop goofing around and kill that pest!" He barked out, his gaze darting over his shoulder to where the ice mirrors stood. Haku didn't respond, but only started throwing more senbons at Sasuke at a more rapid pace than before; I tried not to flinch when I heard Sasuke cry out. Peachy looked back at me, his gaze deadlier than before, "That big mouth of yours is going to get your brats killed, Uchiha."

I only smiled, "I'm confident they can handle one little brat, even one as powerful as yours. Besides, you forgot something." Peach-boy stiffened as it dawned on him that Naruto had yet to appear. My smile twisted into a sneer, "You know, I think my last student deserves to be called the 'Stupidly Brave Shinobi of Konoha' more than I do. After all, not many genin are brave enough to fight someone like you, Peach-boy, let alone get the better of you."

As if planned there was a puff of smoke to the right of Haku's mirrors. Naruto's voice drifted from the white billowing vapors, "I resent that, Frizzy-sensei! Call me the 'Fearless Shinobi of Konoha'! That's right, Uzumaki Naruto is here!" My eye only twitched a little at the nickname. I'd let it slide this one time.

Peach-boy blinked slowly at Naruto then looked at me, "You think some brat like him can do anything?"

I shrugged, "Why not? It was a dead-last like Naruto who helped turn the last shinobi war back in Konoha's favor." I responded coolly. I should know, Obito was the idiot I was talking about. "I feel Naruto can do the same with this little spat we have. Dead-last shinobi have a tendency to surprise people." Naruto took a second to gawk at me, not use to my free praise. All I could say was he had better back up my claims or I was going to murder the little sucker.

Naruto got a really big grin on his face, "You know how the hero always shows up at the last minute and kicks butt? Well that's what I'm going to do, right now! So don't you worry sensei, you can just sit back and watch me beat these guys!"

I facepalmed.

The blonde idiot ignored me, "Alright, you're history!" He formed a sign, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" But before Naruto could form a single clone, Zabuza twisted around and threw a handful of shuriken at him. Like with the Demon Brothers, Naruto's first reaction was the freeze in fear.

"Move Naruto!" I yelled, my heart in my throat as I watched the throwing stars head for my frozen student. I wouldn't be able to get there in time to stop them, not even my hawks surrounding the bridge would be able to grab the shuriken in time.

Out of no where, senbon needles collided with the shuriken and knocked them off course. I jerked in surprise and twisted to stare at Haku half leaning out of his mirrors, still in the position of someone who had just thrown something. Zabuza narrowed his eyes at his ally.

Now that he was out of danger, I felt it safe to yell at Naruto, "You imbecile! This is a real battle not a stupid spar; a shinobi's lifestyle is deception, not a damn talent show! Always keep your enemy guessing, be unpredictable so they can't figure out how to defeat you. So get your head outta your ass and _think_ before someone makes a dartboard out of you!"

Naruto turned about as red as Hinata did when Naruto got within ten feet of her. He started yelling apologies, but I ignored him to glance at Haku. Everyone else seemed to think that Haku had thrown senbon at Naruto at the same time Zabuza did and their attacks ended up colliding; but I knew better. One look at my cousin-turned-porcupine told me that Haku _did not_ miss his targets. Which could only mean... he meant to throw those shuriken off track.

The question was why.

Peach-boy seemed to be thinking the same thing I was, "Haku, what are you doing?" Peachy demanded. His tone was dangerous and angry, he was pissed at Haku for disturbing his attack. In Zabuza's state of mind at the moment, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he attacked his own ally out of anger.

One could only hope.

Haku straightened out of his position and dipped his head towards Peaches, "Zabuza-sama, let me fight this boy in my own way... please." The brat rasped. Mildly I wondered if all Kiri nins had that smoker rasp, or if it was just these two idiots.

Naruto glared at the masked boy, "Bring. It. On." He challenged before I could tell him to not be stupid. I suppressed the urge to hang my head in defeat at the stupidity of the blonde brat and wondered if he knew how powerful Haku was. Sasuke was hardly a match for the nuke-nin, what chance did Naruto have against him?!

Zabuza chuckled, "As usual you're too soft, Haku. Fine, if that is what you wish." Soft? What part of that masked brat was...

I glanced at Sasuke. He was injured but not too bad, nothing that would cause any lasting damage. So either Haku was very sadistic and liked to play with his enemies; or he was soft as Zabuza said and wasn't trying to hurt Sasuke, just stall him. Still, knowing Naruto, he'd piss Haku off enough that the nuke-nin would tear him to shreds. I started to take a step forward to intervene before things got worse, but Peaches blocked my path.

"Don't even think about it." Oddly enough, Peachy sounded amused. "You know what will happen if you take on Haku. I'll go after the bridge builder and that little girl." I stiffened and looked to the left where Tazuna and Hinata stood. There was no way that I would be able to end Haku and protect those two at the same time. Against a long sword like the Kubikiribōchō, Hinata's taijutsu was useless; and without me guiding my hawk summons they couldn't do shit but sit there and look pretty. I supposed I could summon a larger hawk to deal with Zabuza while I took out Haku, but that would cut down on my chakra and possibly put me in a dangerous position.

Damn.

Zabuza seemed to know I was in a bind, he smirked underneath those bandages, "Relax, Uchiha. Lets see how our students do... one on one." I gave him an Uchiha Glare, but he wasn't even paying attention to me. I didn't dare attack, he might not be looking at me, but I know the Peach Bastard was still prepared to fight me. Only an idiot would think otherwise.

Apparently Sasuke was an idiot.

While Haku was talking to Naruto, a kunai came flying out of the ice prison that held Sasuke. Haku easily dodged the knife and looked at my cousin, "Don't think I forgot about you, not for an instant." The masked nuke-nin tilted his head a little, "Some warriors accept defeat gracefully, they know when they are beaten..." Oh great, know I was going to have two idiots who couldn't think straight, "Others do not. So be it, let us finish our battle then."

I couldn't help but groan quietly as Haku reentered his mirrors. Zabuza actually snorted and gave me an amused look as if we weren't enemies fighting to the death but two people just watching our students spar. I shot him a brief glare and looked away. I refused to think Peaches was anyone else but my enemy.

It was torture having to watch my cousin practically being torn to shreds by multiple attacks coming from all the mirrors. With my sharingan I could pick up the real Haku and how he jumped from mirror to mirror to keep the element of surprise. The little pest was fast, even with my sharingan I could just barely pick up his movements as he flashed between the mirrors. But I still didn't know how the mirrors worked.

"Sasuke, Naruto think! You have to attack the mirrors from the inside and outside at the same time to figure out how they work!" I yelled. Naruto's face brightened with an idea and there was a poof and...

He was gone.

It was only when Sasuke started yelling did I realize where he went. My eye twitched and I glanced at Zabuza. The nuke-nin looked like he was on the verge of laughing, I was almost tempted to tell him that I was disowning Naruto as my student after a stunt like that.

"Katon: Phoenix Sage Jutsu!" Sasuke yelled out and there was a brief glow of orange that surrounded the multiple mirrors at various angles, but none of them melted.

I could hear the amusement in Haku's voice when he said, "You'll need more firepower than that to melt this ice." I stiffened slightly. More firepower? I could easily do that, but...

Peaches smirked at me, easily reading my mind, "If you melt the mirrors you'll incinerate your students. Doesn't that defeat the purpose?" He asked. I shot him a nasty look and mildly wondered why he hadn't attacked yet. Peach-boy didn't have a problem earlier, was he just stalling then to get to this point and showcase his student? He had been hired to take out my client, not show off his student's prowess.

Once again my suspicions of his involvement with the Mist Rebels surfaced. I eyed the man, trying to figure out his game. I doubted that he was ever fighting me seriously. All he had done was send water clones and swing that big ass sword around. Zabuza had been part of the Seven Swordsmen of Kirigakure, he had gotten the position by being a master of kenjutsu. So far Zabuza had been attacking as if the Kubikiribōchō was just a piece of metal to be swung around and not a great sword.

Of course it was always possible that he was downplaying his abilities to keep the element of surprise; I had been doing the same by only dodging Zabuza's sword and tossing kunai around when I got the opening. But it just didn't fit Peachy's personality to use deception when he had the opportunity to strike. I glanced at the ice prison as Haku bounded from mirror to mirror, raining senbon down on Sasuke and Naruto. Haku was the same. I knew that that jutsu was meant to trap and destroy an opponent. The positioning of the mirrors and the pure speed of Haku proved that point easily enough. So why weren't my students dead yet? From what I had gathered on Haku, I knew he wasn't the sick twisted kind of shinobi that enjoyed toying with their victims. Not even Zabuza was that way. Zabuza's way of killing was quick, painless, and silent; leaving any survivors baffled and frightened of the Demon of the Mist.

Naruto's yelling stopped my musing, "I won't quit! Not ever, I'm going to survive and become Hokage because that is my dream!" I didn't know if I should be proud that he still wasn't giving up even after that downpour of needles or still embarrassed that he had gotten himself into that mess.

What Haku responded with surprised me, "I didn't want to be a shinobi, it's painful. I don't want to kill you, but if you come closer I will have no choice." What? "I will kill the kindness in my own heart and fully embrace the shinobi way. This bridge will the battlefield where our dreams collide. I will fight for my dream, just as you fight for yours. Please do not blame me, I fight for someone who is precious to me. I live for him and I will face _death_ for him so that his dream will become reality. That is my dream, and for the sake of that dream, if I must I will act as a shinobi and take your lives!"

I bowed my head and glanced at the silent Zabuza. It was obvious that Haku was referring to Peach-boy, but why? What did Zabuza do that made the kid so loyal to him? And furthermore, just what was Zabuza's dream? The more I listened to Haku, the more reluctant I was to kill the kid, but if he got in the way of my mission then I would cut him and Zabuza down.

Peaches shot me a haughty glance, "Tell me Uchiha, does that wimpy village of yours still avoid the most important rule of being a shinobi?" He asked as if he were genuinely curious.

I only started at him in silence. It was a loaded question, so I saw no need in wasting my breath with an answer that was already obvious.

Peach-boy cackled like a madman, "I wonder what your precious little Hokage will say when you come back with two bodies instead of three live genin... _if_ you survive that is." I heard Tazuna inhale sharply as it dawned on him just how outnumbered the genin truly were. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see how Hinata was holding up to the news of her possible death.

Not too well.

Zabuza followed my gaze, "She's going to faint." He observed in a tone that could only be amusement. He looked back at me, "How is it that you ended up with three incompetent brats? You're supposed to be an A-class kunoichi, and yet here you are... babysitting."

"Hn." I grunted. That insult was so pathetic I knew I would lose brain cells just by answering it. One would think that the Bloody Mist would pencil in a trash talk class right after their academy students learned how to gut a helpless victim. At least so they wouldn't kill their opponents from the lame insults flying around.

Unless... that was their stupid plan all along.

The damn man didn't shut up though, "Falling back on the Uchiha customary response? How unlike you." Great now he was adding sarcasm to the list. My eye twitched and I came close to planting my fist in his stupid, bandaged face if only to shut him up; but I somehow refrained... for now. "It must goad you that your precious Hokage would dump a bunch of brats on you. It's such a waste of your skills, chasing after three brats like you're their nanny while shinobi weaker than you take over your missions." Peachy continued on, not even bothering to see if he was really insulting me or not.

Finally I got fed up, "Your insults are pathetic. Even my pacifist cousin can talk trash better than you." I deadpanned. Peachy didn't even have the decency to look offended. He only smirked at me from underneath his bandages.

I reached into my weapons pouch and brought out a fan. Snapping it open I began lightly fanning myself like a geisha would. I even fluttered my eyelashes at Peaches, "Let's get this over with, ne? I want to leave by dusk." I simpered like a primping airhead and reactivated my sharingan, having had deactivated it once I realized I would never figure out Haku's jutsu with my eyes.

Zabuza jerked his gaze away from my sharingan and he reached back into his own kunai pouch. As he charged at me, I made a sweeping motion with my arm so that my fan cut through the air like a blade. When he came into my range, I thumbed the little lever on the handle and fourteen senbon needles shot out of the fan's ribs. Unfortunately due to the large curve of the fan's edge, only five senbons were heading directly at Peaches. He easily knocked them away with his two bladed kunai and jumped back.

I snapped the fan shut and pointed it at him, "Lesson number one of kunoichi tactics: Everything can be a weapon." I depressed another button on the bamboo frame of the fan and a three inch blade shot out of the little slot that was embedded into the fan, just to prove my point. Zabuza did not looked very pleased with my Fan of Wonders–as Obito called it.

In fact, I could swear he was pouting.

"This won't be like last time, Peach-boy." I promised him, my smirk melting away to be replaced with the expressionless mask every shinobi seemed to have.

The bandaged nuke-nin seemed to have stolen my smirk, "You're correct, because this time even if you do defeat me, you have no chance against Haku. When I found him he was just a street rat, but I trained him in the most advanced techniques. I taught him everything I know, and with that Kekke Genkai of his, soon he was able to take on dangerous enemies. Even outnumbered and in total darkness, he could strike with perfect accuracy. He cared nothing for his own life, or the lives of others. Haku became a unique fighting machine, a shinobi. In the end even he surpassed me, with that Kekke Genkai of his nothing can defeat it! I've created a tool that can destroy anyone who stands in my way, unlike those useless brats that follow _you_ around like little lost puppies!"

I grimaced in disgust at the man before me. Then I glanced over his shoulder at the prison of ice mirrors where the shouts of pain from Naruto and Sasuke were still originating. When I head heard Haku's speech I was ready to put an end to the battle peacefully, just to save the kid the pain of losing his precious person. Now I was ready to roast the fool who dared take advantage of loyalty like that.

Zabuza laughed as he looked back at the ice mirrors with a crazed look in his eyes, "You think those punks can defeat Haku? He's the ultimate battle tool of destruction!"

"Would ya shut up already? Geez you sound worse than my uncle when he's talking about Itachi!" I snapped, getting irritated with this 'Haku is so great! You can never defeat him!' bullshit. Was Zabuza Haku's fangirl or senpai?!

Zabuza didn't understand the reference, so he wasn't offended. Though I had now doubt he would be throwing a temper tantrum if he knew how Fugaku was when he was bragging about my cousin. "Fine, but there is one more thing you should know." I raised an eyebrow and decided to humor him, not that he needed any encouragement, "Did you really think our last battle was just win or lose? Haku had been watching the whole time, watching every move your made with that sharingan of yours. Haku can see a move once and immediately devise a counterattack; it's one of his... gifts. I've been waiting to see the look on your pretty face when you realize that your sharingan has become worthless!"

I kept my face blank just to annoy him.

Zabuza held up two fingers, "Suiton: Hidden Mist Jutsu!"

Deja vu, anyone?

The thin mist that had already layered the air thickened to the point of no visibility. I cursed, my sharingan eyes darting to pick up the slighted movement in the mist; but all I could see was Hinata and Tazuna fidgeting around, looking left and right for a thin spot in the thick mist. I pinned Hinata with a look. She was twitching nervously and shaking in fear, "Hinata, stay with Tazuna. Don't leave his side for any reason." I ordered her in a sharp tone. The Hyuuga girl seemed to get over her fear at the order and nodded firmly before shifting from an offensive to a defensive taijutsu stance. I had noticed over the weeks that she seemed to lose her cowardice when given a direct order. Hopefully she would stand by it even if I went down.

Shuriken came out of no where and I easily batted them away with my closed fan. I took a cautious step in the direction the throwing stars had come from but stopped and twisted around when I felt Zabuza's chakra behind me. I blinked when I saw that his eyes were closed. Was he trying to prevent looking into my sharingan or was it another reason entirely? I frowned when he started to speak.

"Next time you see me, will be the last time you see anything." Okay, for Peach-boy, that wasn't a half bad attempt to be intimidating; but still... even goofy Shisui still beat him by a mile. Of course, goofy Shisui happened to be pretty terrifying when someone did the impossible and actually pissed him off, but that was irrelevant. "Without your sharingan, you're nothing." Zabuza rasped and then disappeared again before I could attack. I twitched in annoyance. If this was just going to be a hit-and-run tactic I was going to murder someone.

Preferably Peaches; but I would take Tazuna for putting me in this mess in the first place too.

Fine. If he wanted to play this game, then I would just pull and Uchiha Tactic straight from the Book of Bullshit and own his sorry ass before he could sneeze. I ran through the appropriate hand signs and slammed my palms together with a loud clap, "Fūton: Gale Palm!" In a large ejection of wind oriented chakra, I managed to disperse most of the mist thinning it out enough that I could see Zabuza's faint outline several paces to my right. I turned to face the outline and began a new set of hand signs, "Katon: Great Fireball Jutsu!" I shouted and sent a steady stream of fire at Zabuza.

I grinned when Zabuza had to leap out of the mist and into my sight, just like I wanted, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part. You left to quickly. Something about me being without my sharingan...?" I said teasingly. Boy, did Peaches look pissed off.

Somehow that set off a monologue of how Peach-boy had figured out the secret behind the sharingan. I almost started nodding off when he started explaining the piercing eye and the hypnotic eye and how I had used them in battle. Seriously, what was with this guy and explaining things to invisible audiences? Was he so enamored with his own smoker voice that he liked making long winded speeches over obvious things?!

That would explain a lot of things, actually.

After he finished lecturing me about things I had grown up knowing, he started talking about his 'ultimate plan to win the day'. Finally I gave up pretending to listen and groaned loudly, "Oh. My. Kami. SHUT UP! At least _try_ to make it harder on me by not explaining your stupid little plan. Dear Lord, do I need to give you the 'a shinobi's lifestyle is deception' lecture I gave Naruto too?!"

There was a beat of silence when even Haku stopped fighting Naruto and Sasuke, before Zabuza's annoying raspy voice spoke again, "Fine. I just won't give you a sporting chance." If that was what he called a 'sporting chance' I would gladly go without, if only to keep my ears from bleeding.

In the back of my mind I wondered who could out talk the other: the Hokage or Peaches.

The fighting between the three boys resumed with vigor, but something was different about it. I could hear Sasuke using the fireball jutsu as well, which was strange. Didn't he already try to melt the ice and figure out that it didn't work? What could those two idiots possibly be up to? I risked a glance in their direction, hoping that it might shed some light on their plan.

"Pay attention to your own fight!" Zabuza roared and I snapped my head around with a gasp just in time to feel his foot connect with my jawline. There was a dull crunch and I tasted the sharp coppery twang of blood flooding my mouth; seconds later a wave of pain bloomed from my jaw, momentarily causing my mind to blank. I landed in a heap on the ground, my jaw throbbing painfully. I reached up to cradle it and winced when my hand grazed against the bruising area. The bone was cracked at the very least.

High killer intent brought my head up and my eyes widened when I saw Zabuza descending from the air, the Kubikiribōchō raised over his head and positioned to bisect me at the waist. Scrambling, I twisted to the side and got my feet under me just as the long blade dug into the ground almost three inches deep. I winced and tried not to imagine what would have happened to be had I been any slower.

I was really starting to regret pissing Peaches off.

The Kiri nuke-nin yanked his big ass sword out of the ground and turned towards me, a deranged look in his eyes. "Seems I finally succeeded in shutting up the Uchiha with the runaway mouth. Now to make it permanent." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the lame trash talk. This guy was truly pathetic when it came to being intimidating. I was starting to think that awkward _Iruka_ could be more terrifying than this guy. The chunnin might be terrifying to kids, but he was just a socially awkward wimp when it came to adults.

Peachy disappeared.

I stiffened and looked around, trying to discern any chakra signal with either my sharingan or my sensory abilities. I swallowed a mouthful of blood, trying not to gag at the overbearing taste of copper, and ran through my options. While the wind jutsu had momentarily cleared the mist, it was back in full force, once again hindering my line of vision. Sight was out, I could deal with that. Peaches was a master of the silent killing technique; he could enter a crowd full of people, kill one person, and be gone before that person even hit the ground–all the while not making a smidgen of noise. That mean I could not hear Zabuza's attacks either and if I did it was probably a distraction. Still I could manage without hearing too.

That left my sensing abilities and scent. I wasn't a tracker and I was no where near as good at olfactory perception as Kakashi or the Inuzuka clan, but I still had a sharp nose. However, the problem with that was my sense of smell was being overridden by the smell of my blood still filling my mouth. My chances of predicting Peaches next attack were starting to slim down. My chakra sensing abilities weren't the best, it was mostly just raw talent, but I still should be able to pick out Zabuza's large chakra source in the thick mist he had created. It would be like trying to pick out the early morning sun in a thick fog, but it was still doable. Unless Peach-boy suppressed his chakra, I _should_ be able to sense him.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on spanning my awareness about the bridge. I could feel the chakra of the three boys flitting around inside the ice prison, which appeared to be a thin dome of Haku's chakra, and I could pick out Hinata's still relatively high chakra reserves right in front of Tazuna's stunted civilian level chakra. Wait.

Hinata.

Damn it! I had a Hyuuga with me the whole time and I was too caught up in my ego to even think about asking her for help. There wasn't anything that could hide from the Byakugan! And now, I couldn't talk because of my cracked jawbone. Growling deep in my throat I was about to shunshin to Hinata and signal what I needed in my rusty genin hand signs, when the object I was looking for appeared.

Right where I didn't want it.

^o^

I kinda feel bad for leaving you with a cliffhanger… but I'm a total troll so I'm sure I'll get over it! Ta-da! First cliffhanger of the story! Well... first MAJOR cliffhanger. I could continue this, but I like where it ended. And sorry for the fight scenes, they aren't my strong point so I know they suck.

**~You say 'crazy' like it's a bad thing.**

**UP NEXT!**_ Not Everything is Black and White_

Flame Friendly!


	15. Not Everything is Black and White

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Whoop-dee-doodle-do.

Now let's wrap up the Land of Waves Arc! ONWARDS TO THE STORY!

Wow... I hadn't expected this arc to last so long... :\ I had been thinking like four chapters maximum, but naw, it's a total of seven! Honestly, I think I'm channeling my friend (whom I now call my Whim Friend) in the second half of this chapter... so much sarcasm, even for Yanagi... -.-

Ya know... it never occurred to me that the reason why I was in the school nurse's office every day after lunch throughout elementary was because our cafeteria serves nothing but milk to the elementary students... I'm lactose intolerant. Why hasn't that ever occurred to the people in charge of the cafeteria lines before? By the way, to the people in the same boat as me: anytime you have a dairy product just remember TEA IS YOUR FRIEND! It doesn't matter what kind of tea, but tea settles the stomach to the point that it's bearable. And chocolate, chocolate has been proven to help digest dairy for lactose intolerant people.

**Warning:** Uh... some graphic descriptions and one pissed off Uchiha with a foul mouth…

_GUESS WHO'S BAAAAAAAAAACK?! _That's right: ME! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm still heading home (right now I'm staying in a hotel near the New Mexico/Colorado border town) and I've still got 14 ½ hours to home. O.o **Everyone may thank ****Tsukiyomi-Hio**** for getting me to update early! ^^ **(I'll update Trapeze and Rule 3 later… I still gotta write Rule 3's chapter… *nervous laugh*)

vvv

Hinata screamed.

I gasped as a sheering pain ripped across my chest; blood from my mouth dripped down my chin and joined the splatter of blood already on the ground. I was extremely lucky to have been able to shunshin right where I needed to be in order to take the blow meant for Hinata and Tazuna.

I reached up to cradle my wound, trying to stop the blood flow, and glared at Zabuza with slow spinning red eyes. Unfortunately he didn't meet my gaze, "Too bad, Uchiha, you let concern for those brats cloud your mind and adding further to the fog that already hinders your sharingan. You're eyes are sharp, but not sharp enough to read my moves."

Kami above, why did I have to be injured _and_ listen to Peach Bastard's shitty insults?

Peach-boy cackled in a cliché villainous pitch, furthering my annoyance with the man. Did Kirigakure hand pamphlets out on how to be a lame antagonist?! "Come on, Uchiha, I want this to be fun!" Can anyone say _psychopath_? "I want to enjoy myself while I extract my revenge! As for those pest... don't worry. They're at Haku's mercy, no they're breathing their last breaths right now." Peaches twisted Kubikiribōchō so that the sharp edge of the blade was facing up and he reached behind him into his weapons pouch. I didn't move. "Relax. You'll have plenty of time to weep out an apology when you see them in the next life."

Where the hell did he get the assumption I was tense in anyway?

He started cackling again. My eyes narrowed slightly as he seemed to dissolve back into the mist surrounding us. Peachy's crazed laughter drifted so that it sounded like it was coming from all around us. There was a moment of silence after Zabuza's awful guffawing faded away filled only with my labored breath. Damn this stupid wound, I was going to be in pain every time I got dressed for a month! Not to mention my bruising jaw; I'm not going to be able to eat solid foods for a long time. Plus when Obito sees it, there would be hell to pay.

Exactly who would pay... that was the question.

Because I was going to make damn sure that Peaches didn't leave this bridge alive.

Hinata whimpered behind me and I glanced over my shoulder to see her staring intensively at the ice prison. "N-Naruto-kun... Sasuke-san..." She whispered and took an instinctive step towards the place where her team was fighting for their lives. Hinata stopped and her breath started to shorten with panic, in another moment she would start hyperventilating and I couldn't do shit about it. The one time I _wanted_ to comfort my student and my damn jaw was locked up from the pain.

Luckily Tazuna stepped in, "Don't worry, Hinata-chan. I have faith that the boys will pull through. That blonde kid... I thought he was just some goofy little brat with the maturity of a two year old. And the one with the attitude, I didn't think he cared about _anyone_! But I see now that I was wrong. All of you aren't what I expected and, by golly, I _know_ Naruto and Sasuke will beat that masked pest to a pulp!"

My sharingan eyes darted to Tazuna to convey my silent thanks. The old man smirked at me and reached out to place a hand on Hinata's shoulder. The Hyuuga heiress was looking more confident than she had been, she stood straighter and held the kunai in a tight, firm grip.

I returned my gaze forward again and I was surprised to see Zabuza's outline among the fog. Maybe he hadn't disappeared as completely as I had thought. Peach-boy laughed sardonically, "You think those punks can defeat Haku? No one has ever stopped his secret jutsu." Zabuza reached up for Kubikiribōchō and I clinched my fists, wishing that I hadn't lost my grip on my fan when Peaches landed that damn round house kick on my face. I was down to the senbons I had carved out of twigs earlier that week. Against the Kubikiribōchō, they wouldn't do squat. Mentally I ran through my other options.

When I realized my opponent was Zabuza, I had raided my pack until I managed to dig up my old, worn, and very out-of-date copy of Konoha's Bingo Book. While the brats were out training, I had been cooped up in the room I shared with Hinata, pouring over Zabuza's page. What I had read made me frustrated and ecstatic at the same time. Peach-boy's stats were solid straight across–practically invincible–except for one little detail. Zabuza was below average in genjutsu. As an Uchiha, I was fairly good at genjutsu, but I wasn't the best. Furthermore, Zabuza would be avoiding looking into my eyes which hindered my chance of catching only him in a genjutsu. My best chance was casting an area of effect genjutsu, but that would also endanger my team and Tazuna.

My other option was that I could also use my hawk summonings that still perched around the bridge, waiting for me to order them around. The downside to that option was that I had to focus my attention on directing the hawks, those small summons couldn't fight by themselves very well as they would attack anyone who _wasn't_ me. I would have to concentrate on making sure none of the hawks went after Team 7. That meant that Zabuza, or even Haku, could bypass me and go for the bridge builder. I supposed I could create a shadow clone to handle the hawks, but I was already low on chakra and that would only eat away at my stores even more. I knew that if this fight was prolonged any longer I would suffer from chakra exhaustion _again_ or worse.

I needed to end this now.

My hands rose and I started going through the hand signs for my signature technique, water ninjutsu be damned, when a spike of chakra made me freeze in utter fear. Hot, cold, anger, red... red... _red._ That chakra...

_vvv FLASHBACK vvv_

"_Stay with your cousin, Itachi. I'll be right back." Mikoto-oba called as she dashed off. I stared wide eyed and frightened as my aunt left. Alarms had awoken me in the middle of the night calling for an extreme state of emergency. Obito-nii was in my room only seconds after the alarm started wailing and dragged me to the Main Branch house, telling me to stay with Mikoto. When I tried to tell him that I was a genin now and I could help with whatever the crisis was, Obito had gotten uncharacteristically serious and ordered me to stay in the house._

_Now the bells were calling for all shinobi ranked above chūnin, retired or otherwise, and Mikoto had left me in charge of my cousins while she ran to respond to the summons._

_Itachi and I sat on the porch, watching ghostly red ribbons float through the sky, and keeping an ear trained on any changes in the constant alarm. Sasuke thankfully was being relatively quite, I wasn't having to try and listen over a brat's soft crying. Itachi seemed surprisingly responsible with his little brother, so I left Itachi was baby duty. I didn't like kids that much; the only kid I liked was Itachi and that was because he was more like an adult anyway._

_My heart dropped when I heard the alarm pick up in tempo and changed to a higher pitch. That was the call for all civilians and lower ranked shinobi to evacuate to the Monument. Whatever was happening in the village it must be bad if it was a village-wide evacuation. I stood, "Come on Itachi, we've gotta-" I cut myself off when I saw my cousin already heading for the compound gates. I didn't even have it in me to be angry at him for leaving me behind._

_I had only gotten five feet when there was a thunderous crash that shook the ground. Itachi and I stumbled, trying to regain our footing and still move fast enough to get to the shelter. Then I felt it. A tangible anger, so hot and violent that I felt sick to my stomach. Sasuke, who had been quietly whimpering until now, shrieked in fear, his small face turning a dark red. I was scared, I wanted to run away and hide, to give into to whatever was attacking. It was the _**predator**_ and I was the _**cornered prey**_, I stood no chance against that anger; that raw, potent Killer Intent._

_Something firm but small tugged at my wrist. I jolted out of my frozen state and stared down at my little cousin. Itachi looked as calm and impassive as he always did, as if he couldn't even _**feel**_ the Killer Intent infused in the very air–no, it _**was**_ the air. I was breathing in that powerful anger with every breath until it became my whole being. I wanted to hide. I wanted-_

"_Yanagi-itoko, we have to get to the shelter," Itachi spoke, cutting off my thoughts. To anyone else he might sound bored and indifferent, but I could hear the small lilt of concern in his voice. That seemed to wake me up. I was frozen like a deer downwind of the wolf and here my six year old cousin wasn't even bothered about the attack. He was trying to comfort me! What was worse, I actually needed to be comforted. It angered me, I was weak. A child barely in the academy was more rational than I, the Rookie of the Year, was!_

_I promised myself I would never freeze again._

_vvv FLASHBACK OVER vvv_

I concentrated on my sensory ability, trying to determine what would make Naruto lose control. I doggedly ignored the _hotredredredthatnightfearmustrun_ chakra that was the Kyuubi's and instead on the chakra points all over the bridge. Zabuza was a little ahead of me, his chakra thick and languid like honey; there was the smooth, silky feel of Hinata's chakra behind me beside the stunted civilian amount that was Tazuna's. Haku's, hard and sharp like ice yet surprisingly warm, was darting all over the place as he tried to dodge Naruto's crazed strikes. Sasuke's chakra was muted, almost to the point of...

I snapped my head around and stared as the ice mirrors shattered and Haku came flying out, laid out flat by Naruto. In between the broken shards of the still hanging mirrors I could see a dark lump in the center, not moving.

...of death.

It wasn't the first time I had seen death, and certainly not the last. I wasn't even bothered all that much by it. Except... I was. There was a difference between seeing a teammate die in the course of a battle, when you didn't have time to think or even notice that they had just died; and seeing the body of a child, _your own cousin,_ crumpled on the ground like a thrown away doll.

Suddenly all the horrible things I had said to him, all the unkind actions and unfriendly glares, all came rushing in like a tidal wave. Like a tsunami. Obito was right, I was a horrible sensei. I had gotten one of my students_ killed_ on their first C-rank mission. It didn't matter that it had been updated to an A-rank. I had in essence killed my own student; I had signed his death warrant the moment I didn't withdraw from the mission when it was clear that it was out of Team 7's capabilities. I felt sick, both physically and emotionally. I felt like I was drowning with no life line to pull myself out. I... needed an outlet, I needed to rid myself of all the pent up guilt and anger at myself.

"Awww... are you going to cry?"

I found my outlet.

Slowly I turned to stare at Zabuza, That _Bastard, _all my emotions draining away and leaving nothing behind. I didn't take joy in seeing him jolt in surprise at my flat gaze, or the way he when white under his tan skin when my Killer Intent washed over him. All I cared about was beating the shit out of that bastard for putting my cousin in the position that killed him. I raised my hands slowly and, almost in a trance, I ran through the hand signs, never breaking gaze with that bastard. I stared straight into his soul and found it... _lacking_.

Zabuza's death wouldn't bring back Sasuke, but it would sure make me feel a hell of a lot better.

I could only hope.

_Demonic Illusion: Shackling Stakes Jutsu._ I thought, since my injured jaw prevented me from saying the jutsu. Zabuza's eyes bugged out when he felt the imaginary genjutsu stakes driving into his body, pinning him where he stood. I dropped the last hand sign and started another jutsu. I kept my eyes on Zabuza the whole time, letting him see my cold indifference to him. I wanted that bastard to know that I wasn't killing him because he was my enemy or because I hated him.

I was killing Zabuza just because I fucking _felt_ like it.

_Katon: Great Fireball Jutsu_. I didn't channel too much of my chakra into the fire. I didn't want to incinerate Zabuza on the spot. That wasn't good enough, I wanted to _slowly_ roast him alive. I wanted him to die a slow agonizing death, covered in third degree, maybe even fourth degree if I was feeling _merciful,_ burns for even thinking of harming my baby cousin. I took a deep breath and brought my fingers up to my mouth. I watched dispassionately as Zabuza tried to evade the oncoming fire, I didn't feel the pleasure of watching my prey squirm before I killed them. All I could think was _'how dare you.'_

I noticed Haku too late.

**vvv 3rd POV~ Hinata vvv**

Hinata was frightened. She stood there shaking on spot as she watched the plume of red chakra spiraling out of the mirrors. With her Byakugan activated, she had seen all that had happened. She saw the spike of chakra in Sasuke's eyes and saw the glint of red–the sign of the sharingan. Hinata saw him fall, saw his chakra sputter like a candle before dying out. She saw Naruto lose control, she didn't need her kekke genkai for that. That violent red chakra was clear from even the distance between the boys and Hinata.

Hinata saw Yanagi-sensei freeze up when she spotted Sasuke's body. Afterwards, Hinata saw Sensei take on a whole new personality. Hinata shivered, with her Byakugan activated there was no missing that cold look in Yanagi's eyes. There was a saying in Konoha: 'The four things any Konoha nin fears are an angry Aburame, a focused Inuzuka, a motivated Nara, and a bereft Uchiha.' Until now, Hinata had never realized _why_.

The Hyuuga heiress clung to her kunai as if it were a religious symbol, she wasn't ready for this. When she had graduated as a genin, she knew there would be death and fighting, but... not like this. She hadn't expected to see her first death so _soon_, and definitely not her own teammate! Hinata would happily go back to doing D-ranked missions if she survived.

She hoped she survived.

But that hope was dwindling into an unattainable dream. If _Sasuke_, the strongest genin of their class, couldn't survive, then what hope did she have?! Yanagi-sensei had promised she would protect them with her life when they first fought Zabuza, but she had failed. Yanagi had broken her promise. There was no guarantee that Sensei would protect Hinata if Zabuza came after her, Yanagi didn't even protect her own _cousin._

A sentimental fool, that's what Yanagi-sensei called Hinata. Was this what she meant? Sasuke had ran to protect Naruto from being hurt, Hinata _saw_ that, and in turn the Uchiha boy had gotten killed. _"__If you live past your Chunnin Exam I'll be amazed"_ That's what Yanagi-sensei had said, had she been right? Were emotions really a hindrance to a shinobi? From the way Yanagi-sensei was going after Zabuza, it seemed like she was right. Emotions were an obstacle to a shinobi, they got in the way of the fight and clouded the mind. Hinata remembered that there was a rule about emotions, _Rule 25: A shinobi must never show their feelings._ It was one of the only rules she actually knew by heart because it was the rule most shinobi strove to achieve.

But... did Hinata have what it took to get rid of her emotions?

Movement behind Yanagi-sensei alerted Hinata and she opened her mouth to call out a warning, not even thinking about it, but she was too late.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

I stumbled back a step, caught off guard by the sudden body in front of me, cutting of the steam of fire to only a small fireball barely bigger than a cat. Time seemed to slow as I watched the small jet of fire fly from my mouth and connect with Haku's chest perfectly. Surprisingly, he didn't go flying back from the force of the fire. It should have sent him back twenty feet _minimum_, but he didn't budge a single inch. I stared straight into the kid's brown eyes for the first time, his mask was gone– probably Naruto's doing– as my ninjutsu hit him.

He looked... peaceful.

It was Sasuke all over again.

I had killed many people in my career as a kunoichi, I've even enjoyed it at times. Many of those kills had been children, kids who had gotten in my way; but I never liked admitting to those kills. I always felt ill when I watched the light go out in their young eyes. But... it was necessary for Konohagakure to keep going, so I swallowed my disgust and soldiered on. I didn't look back and reflect upon my kills, I didn't find pride in the high number. I knew that if I did I would never be able to live with myself again. Haku though... he did it willingly. He jumped in front of my fireball to protect the bastard he found precious to him.

Haku, a Kiri nuke-nin, had the Will of Fire.

And I almost killed him.

Almost.

There was still a chance to save the boy.

The question was: would I take it?

He was my enemy, he _killed_ my cousin.

But he was only a boy... barely older than Team 7. If I let him die, it would be just another Sasuke. A death of a child saving someone precious to him.

No, I _would not_ let that happen.

My decision made, I wrapped my arms around Haku and leaped back away from a shell shocked Zabuza. Once the demonic illusion fell, the bastard would no doubt come after me, regardless that Haku was now in my possession. I knew the Peach bastard didn't care for Haku, his sordid little speech of Haku being the ultimate tool was enough evidence for that. I needed enough time to try and heal the kid, at least enough that I could leave him to _destroy_ Zabuza if he attacked.

I laid Haku down gently and ran a diagnostic jutsu to check how injured the boy truly was. Deep second degree burns across the chest, as well as minor second degree on the right arm and shoulder; but fortunately no internal bleeding or ruptured organs. Not as bad as I thought then. I sighed and allowed my eyes to close a brief moment; I was glad that I had intended to slowly roast Zabuza alive, it had probably saved the kid's life. Haku would need help beyond my capabilities, but I should be able to heal him enough so he would last until I got a medical nin.

Reaching into my pack I withdrew a kunai, intending to use it to cut open Haku's haori and shirt. Zabuza, however, jumped to the wrong conclusion. "Get away from him!" The Demon of the Mist shouted. It surprised me how desperate he sounded.

Was... his speech about Haku just a ruse?

No, I shook my head, I couldn't think like that. It was bad enough that I was healing the boy. I couldn't start going soft on Zabuza. He needed to die, otherwise Tazuna would always be in danger. Haku... once I healed him I would take him prisoner and turn him over to T&I when Team 7 returned to Konoha. This kid was a gold mine of information about the Mist Rebels, and being partners with the infamous Demon of the Mist and one of the rare Kiri nins to have a Kekke Genkai meant he probably had a high bounty.

I stubbornly ignored the disgust I felt.

I fingered the pinstriped collar of Haku's bodysuit to determine the patterned stitch. Luckily it was a downward weave, which would make slicing through the fabric much easier for me. I raised the kunai to Haku's neck...

...and hissed when a shuriken embedded itself in the back of my hand.

Zabuza was charging towards me when I looked up to see who had thrown the shuriken. I was shocked that he was even able to move; Demonic Illusion: Shackling Stakes was a powerful paralyzing genjutsu. Only the most powerful were able to move under it, and even then it wasn't without struggle. So how the hell was Zabuza moving as if he was never under the genjutsu?! Genjutsu was supposed to be the nuke-nin's weakness! No time to think about it, Zabuza was already swinging his sword, trying to behead me. I barely managed to duck under the Kubikiribōchō and rolled away from Haku. Zabuza snarled at me and placed himself between the boy and I. His blade raised in a defensive position.

Interesting.

So Peaches didn't attack Tazuna, even though he had the perfect opening... _again._ Zabuza had had the element of surprise. I hadn't known that Shackling Stakes had ended, which meant he should have assassinated Tazuna, and possibly Hinata, before I knew what had happened. But he didn't. Zabuza came to the rescue of his fallen comrade, had even warned me by shouting. And when he had managed to separate us, instead of going for Tazuna or me like one would expect him too, Peaches _continued_ to guard Haku from me. He totally ignored the bridge builder who stood behind him. It was a perfect opportunity to attack, there would be no way I could reach Tazuna in time, both Zabuza and I knew that. And yet, there wasn't a twitch from Peach-boy to indicate he meant to attack.

Only defend.

"Yanagi-sensei!" Someone landed beside me. I jolted and looked down at Naruto in surprise. I hadn't even thought of him since he smashed that ice prison to pieces. I was too focused on making Zabuza pay for Sasuke's death, and then saving Haku's life, to even think about the other two genin.

Naruto was staring at me, "Sensei, what happened to you?!" That's right, the blonde didn't see me get my ass handed to me by Zabuza. He was too busy with the Ice Princess.

I grunted and pointedly looked at Zabuza, trying to convey my meaning since my jaw was still out of commission. Unfortunately, the Kyuubi brat was too dense to get my meaning. He squinted at me, "Hey, I asked you a question!" I was really _really_ tempted to kick him off the bridge. I was trying to think and-

"HEY, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HAKU?!"

That did it, as soon as this fight was over, I was murdering Naruto.

Zabuza growled at Naruto's demand, but didn't take his narrow eyes off me. The man was finally serious about the fight. This wasn't some little show anymore where we threw a few half assed attempts of trying to kill each other. We were fighting for our students now, and that meant there was no holding back. In the shinobi world, students were considered the last straw. If someone went after a student, they had better prepare to fight for their lives against the master.

Zabuza was guarding his one and only dying student.

I still had two students to protect. No matter how much I wanted to strangle one at the moment.

Tazuna be damned, this was no longer about a bridge builder and some petty shipping company. It was personal now. It became personal the minute Sasuke died, and I sure as hell wasn't letting my cousin and student go without being avenged. Even if I didn't kill Sasuke's true killer, I would damn sure take out the master. If it was the last thing I did, then so be it.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

There was a beat of silence before Zabuza and I turned to look at the new speaker. There were very few brave, or stupid depending on how you looked at it, souls who would willingly speak when two jounin level ninjas were releasing large amounts of Killer Intent. It was a well known fact that shinobi weren't mentally stable, and in the height of battle one could easily turn on some idiot who opened his big mouth. I deadpanned when I spied the little midget standing in front of a large crowd of thugs, all leering as if they were something special. Honestly, quantity did not equal quality. Every shinobi knew that, but it seemed that civilians forgot that little fact constantly.

I could already tell where _this_ was going.

The midget piped up again, "You're supposed to be attacking the bridge builder, not playing ninja with a whore." My flat expression turned to one that screamed, 'do you have a death wish?!' Zabuza wasn't even injured and here the idiot was mouthing off to an A-class nuke-nin. What an arrogant little dwarf. I didn't think it was possible, but I had finally found someone more arrogant than the entire Uchiha clan _and_ Zabuza combined.

Zabuza _did not_ look amused, "Gatou," Boy talk about loathing, I could feel just how much Zabuza hated the man by the levels of contempt in his voice, "what is all this? Why are you here and who are these thugs you brought with you?"

This Gatou tapped his cane against the ground. "Well, you see there's been a change of plans." Called it! But still, this guy was an _Idiot_, with a capital 'i'. Betraying a nuke-nin who was already pissed off... how _did_ the little dwarf become one of the richest men in the world? "According to the new plan, you die of this bridge... Za-bu-za." Oi! That was my plan, the little bastard.

Peaches didn't look all that surprised, "What." It wasn't even a question. More like a 'Really? You're actually trying that shit?' statement. If I wasn't still burning with adrenaline and anger I would find this whole thing hilarious.

Gatou leered, as if he thought he was something special. "That's right. You're too expensive, so I decided to take you off the payroll." See Zabuza? That's what you get when you're greedy. Your rat bastard employer pulls the most cliché move in history on you. "Of course, even these _thugs_ with me cost something, so if you could slaughter a few of them before they take you down, I'd appreciate it."

Seriously, how was this guy still alive? Betraying a nuke-nin was one thing, but asking said nuke-nin to kill a few of his hired thugs _who were standing right behind him_ before they 'killed' Zabuza was just asking for it. All it took was one of the thugs to stab the midget bastard in the back and then they could go loot his no-doubt richly furnished home for payment. They'd probably get a lot more money that way.

But of course, male egos would prevent them all from thinking clearly and they would just battle to the death.

Delightful.

Gatou went even further and started adding mockery to the list, "Think you can manage that, _Demon of the Mist_?" The midget chuckled condescendingly. "Look at you, you look about a demonic as a wet kitten." Apparently Gatou had never faced a wet kitten before. Especially when they're called 'Tora'.

I turned to look at Zabuza. Of the both of us, I was the one who was more injured. In fact, Zabuza didn't even have a scratch on him. The only thing to his disadvantage was that he was mentally fatigued from the genjutsu I had cast on him. But like all good ninja, Peaches didn't show signs that the genjutsu had bothered him. I could tell Zabuza wasn't going to last much longer under the insults and blood would soon spill, but he didn't move. He thought I still meant harm to Haku.

Even if I did, I would be willing to call a truce if only long enough to shut Gatou's damn mouth.

I struggled to a stand, feeling slightly dizzy which meant that the blood loss was finally getting to me. This fight would be over for me soon, but I still had enough chakra in me to at least heal Haku so his life was no longer in danger, maybe even a little more. I swayed a little as I walked towards Zabuza. The man tensed and tightened his grip on the hilt of Kubikiribōchō. I stopped just out of reach of the big ass sword and forced myself to speak, "Heal...Haku." I manged to push past my aching jaw, though it was so garbled that even I barely understood it. I really hoped Peach-boy got my meaning, because it was obvious that I couldn't explain in depth. Damn man, why couldn't he break my ribs or something?!

The Kiri nuke-nin stood there for a moment, I could see in his eyes that he wanted to trust me but didn't dare. Not that I blamed him, until recently we were ready to kill each other. But like every experienced shinobi, we both knew that situations could change in an instant and enemies could become close allies in the blink of an eye. The problem was if those allies would return to enemies once the fighting was done. If I did, which I wouldn't dare, then I would be in the perfect position to off Haku without any intervention from Zabuza.

By pure luck, Haku whimpered quietly at Zabuza's feet. A small reminder of how close to death the kid was. I couldn't wait around for Peaches to decide, Haku might be dead by the time Zabuza made up his damn mind.

Unfortunately our conversation drew attention from that grub Gatou, "Ha! So that little brat is dying, eh? Serves him right for trying to break my arm! Do us all a favor, dear, and kill the runt for me, would you? I'll pay you handsomely for your troubles!" The little man asked me. I shivered in disgust and shot the midget a dark look over my shoulder. I hadn't noticed that his left arm was in a cast until now. My respect for Haku rose several notches. Too bad Ice Princess didn't slay the cretin when he had the chance.

Zabuza narrowed his eyes at Gatou and I mentally laughed at the midget's stupidity. Insulting a man was one thing, but insulting his student when the kid was on the doorstep of death was something else entirely. Peach-boy looked at me with murder in his eyes, but I knew it wasn't directed at me. "You're in luck, Uchiha, our fight is over now" Zabuza rasped. My mouth twitched into a brief smile, but I let if fall when even that hurt. Peach-boy raised his voice so the rest of the people on the bridge could hear him, "since I am no longer in Gatou's employ, Tazuna is safe."

Gatou twitched, obviously infuriated that his little display of audacity was backfiring on him. Did he honestly expect that Zabuza would still go after Tazuna after he cut Peach-boy's pay? That was just arrogant in the extreme. And I was an expert on arrogance.

I was an Uchiha after all. The trait for arrogance was in our blood just as much as the Sharingan was.

Quietly I knelt beside Haku again and nicked a small cut in his collar before ripping the shirt open. I grimaced when I saw my handiwork. The skin across his thin chest was warped and yellowish. White bubbles dotted the skin like small snow capped mountains; some were as round as coins and others barely bigger than the head of a pin. The burn continued up Haku's neck, fading to a pale rosy pink as it curved up his jaw line and half way to his right eye, looking no more superficial than a sunburn. Haku's upper right arm was a glossy vivid red with sparse clear blisters running along the inside of his arm. Further down the arm, just below the elbow, the burn faded into the same rosy red color that marred the poor boy's cheek. It was honestly a surprise that Haku was still alive at all. The shock alone from the jutsu should have sent him into cardiac arrest.

I felt Zabuza's heavy gaze on my back and looked up to meet the nuke-nin's glare, "You harm one hair on his head and I will _end you._" Zabuza said and for the first time since I clashed with him, I felt intimidated by the Demon of the Mist.

Wordlessly I nodded and activated the Mystic Palm Technique. I wasn't nearly as good as Rin was, but she taught me the basics of medical ninjutsu. That would be enough to keep Haku alive. He would be horribly scarred for the rest of his days, but it was better that he be hideous than dead. Besides, those who truly loved the boy wouldn't care what he looked like.

**vvv 3rd POV vvv**

Naruto didn't understand at all what was happening. One minute Yanagi-sensei and that peach guy were glaring at each other with the intent to kill, then the weird short guy with the weird hair showed up and started insulting Zabuza and all of a sudden Zabuza and Frizzy-sensei were friends! It was all so confusing and Naruto couldn't keep up. He wanted to scream and make them explain, but Yanagi-sensei would probably knock him upside the head again. And she hit _hard!_

Yanagi-sensei was kneeling down beside Haku. She was... healing him. Naruto frowned at his sensei. He remembered what she said to him when she refused to give anything to that sick boy, _"I don't see the point in wasting resources to a lost cause when there are more likely cases around that can live."_ Naruto didn't know how Haku had gotten hurt, but it looked bad. Almost like Haku-san wouldn't live, even Naruto would admit to that no matter how much he didn't want to. So why was Yanagi-sensei healing a lost cause?! Sasuke! If Yanagi was willing to heal Haku, then shouldn't she try to heal Sasuke too? Naruto looked over to where the body of Sasuke laid, why wouldn't Yanagi heal Sasuke? He was her cousin, and Haku was the enemy; so shouldn't she focus on Sasuke and not Haku? Naruto wanted Haku to live, sure, but he wanted Sasuke to live more!

"Yanagi-sensei, what about S-Sasuke?" Naruto asked. He wanted to yell, but he could barely even bring his voice above a low mumble. He didn't like the way Yanagi's shoulders stiffened, Naruto's sensei was normally more reserved than that. Naruto could hardly ever figure out what Frizzy-sensei was thinking unless she was mad, so for her to act out of character didn't bode well for Sasuke.

Zabuza hefted his large sword up onto his shoulder and looked at Naruto. The nuke-nin's voice was surprisingly soft when he spoke, "Kid... your teammate is dead."

"Then why...?" Naruto started to ask as he turned wide eyes on his sensei's back. Why was she healing Sasuke's killer?! His blue eyes turned up to Zabuza, wordlessly demanding answers.

Zabuza only looked away, unable to meet the kid's gaze. Death normally didn't bother him, he enjoyed killing and enjoyed seeing the survivors' fear when he took credit for his kills. But... there was something in that blonde kid's eyes that made him almost feel ashamed of it all.

The short midget laughed harshly, "Look at you! So soft! Awwww, are you going to cry?"

Naruto couldn't take it any more. He spun around and leveled a harsh glare at the scruffy little rat, "Shut up!" The Kyuubi container roared. He couldn't stand it! Not anymore! If Yanagi-sensei was going to be a coward then fine, Naruto would take care of those thugs by himself! Screw the shinobi code or whatever bullshit Yanagi spouted at him, Naruto would just follow his own code then!

Naruto charged forward before Zabuza or Yanagi could stop him.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

I tried to grab Naruto as he shot off, but I wasn't in a good position. He had been standing behind me and I wasn't at my best so my reaction time was off. I twisted awkwardly and landed on my stomach, my arm stretched out before me. I didn't even come close to grabbing the blonde. Grimacing I pushed myself off the ground and was preparing to run after my hot headed student, when a blur of grey shot past me. I fell back in surprise.

"You heal Haku, I'll get the brat!" Zabuza ordered over his shoulder. I blinked after him; it was common that enemies would temporarily call a truce to deal with a mutual foe, but it was always an uneasy truce. The way Zabuza was acting... it was like we had been allies for a long time. And that, I did not understand.

"S-sensei!" I turned to see Hinata and Tazuna coming forward, Hinata's lavender eyes landed on Haku and she swallowed audibly. Even Tazuna looked horrified at the warped mess that was Haku, and I was sure he had seen many nasty injuries during his career in construction.

No time to think about that. I couldn't deal with those two, not while I was dealing with Haku. In quick succession I ordered Hinata to retreat and continue guarding Tazuna–even if Zabuza said he would no longer go after the bridge builder that didn't mean he would stop any _thug_ going after my client–through basic genin hand signals. There was a chance she didn't know even one of them; the Academy never really went into depth with hand signals, which was stupid in my opinion. It was inevitable that one day all shinobi faced a situation where silence was the difference between life and death. It was at those times that hand signals were an essential tool to a ninja. I would be damned if another one of my students died because I didn't teach them something basic and easy In the back of my mind I added teaching Naruto and Hinata all the levels of hand signals to the growing list of things I should have done.

Luckily, Hinata seemed to understand me. She nodded a bit shakily and backed up, pawing at Tazuna's sleeve. The old man stood frozen, his eyes on the boy that was slowly dying. I ignored them both as I activated the Mystic Palm Technique again and spread my palms out just inches above Haku's chest. Green chakra seeped into the affected area and I mentally twisted it so that the chakra spread through the skin, going no deeper than the burns. I was in my own little bubble, completely ignoring all that went around me as I laboriously worked to save my cousin's murderer.

**vvv 3rd POV~ Naruto vvv**

A heavy hand landed on Naruto's shoulder before he could get within two meters of the first thug. Furious the blonde kid spun around, expecting to see his cowardly sensei, but was surprised to see the no-brow nuke-nin Zabuza. A small twinge of fear shot through him and he wondered if Zabuza was going to take him out. Naruto could barely hold his own against _Haku_, he knew there was no chance he could even make Zabuza sweat. Sure there had been that time before, when Yanagi-sensei was captured, but that was with _Sasuke_. Sasuke was gone now, and Naruto honestly couldn't think of any way he might stand against Zabuza on his own. All his plans included Sasuke.

_Whap!_

"Ouch! HEY!" Naruto yelped and glared up at Zabuza, the person responsible for smacking Naruto upside the head.

"Stupid. What do you think one little pest like you can do against them?" Zabuza grouched as he grabbed the blonde by his hideously orange jumpsuit and dragged him back a few steps. "You're nothing but target practice to those bastards."

Naruto didn't want to hear it, "Shut up! This is all your fault! If you... If he hadn't... Then..." He didn't know what to say, all he knew was this whole mess, from Sasuke to that creepy short guy, was somehow Zabuza's fault.

Zabuza's answer wasn't helping matters, "Haku is nothing but a tool to me, just like your friend was nothing but a tool to your sensei. You shouldn't linger over his death, it makes you soft. A true shinobi-"

The blonde _growled_, "You shut the hell up! I don't give a damn was a true shinobi does. Haku thought the world of you, you were one of his precious people and Sasuke..." Naruto trailed off for a moment, unable to push away the image of Sasuke dying in his arms.

"_Aniki... he's going to be mad at me. He made me promise to... try and surpass him. But..."_

Naruto shook his head fiercely to clear the image of a senbon-riddled Sasuke, _his friend_, "Sasuke died because of me! And Haku is dying because of you!" Naruto finished with a shout, pointing a rigid finger at the silent Zabuza, "You and Haku were together for years, doesn't that mean anything?!"

Zabuza's eyes didn't change from their cold flat gaze, "You don't understand the way of shinobi, you're still just a child who knows _nothing._ I merely used Haku as Gatou used me. He is nothing but a broken tool now, one that will never be the same. A broken tool is a useless one."

The anger roiling inside Naruto's gut boiled down to utter disgust. He couldn't understand how someone as loyal as Haku could get mixed up with a rat bastard like Zabuza, "If you really mean that, then you're a bigger rat than I thought. You're worse than Gatou!"

Zabuza simply watched the kid.

"Yanagi-sensei said that she wouldn't waste resources on a lost cause, but she's over there right now trying to heal Haku for you; and you say you don't care about him! Haku wanted me to kill him when I defeated him, he didn't want to dishonor you, damn it! He thought the world of you, so much that he was willing to die for you! While he was sacrificing _everything_ for you, you never felt anything for him? What does that mean for me, huh?" Naruto's voice started dying down as the grief he had felt for both Haku and Sasuke began overwhelming his anger, "If I become strong, does that mean I become as cold hearted as you are? Haku almost thew his life away... and for what?! For you and your _dream?_ He never had a dream of his own, but you don't care, you just tossed him aside like he was nothing..." Thick tears began streaming down Naruto's cheeks. "It's just... so wrong..."

The Kiri nuke-nin looked away, unable to face the genin. "You talk too much..." He muttered under his breath. Naruto looked up, surprised at the tired tone in Zabuza's voice. The blonde kid was nearly shocked to see tears gathering in the nuke-nin's eyes. "Haku was always too soft for this life, and _curse you_ I refuse to let him throw away his life on one as worthless as I."

Naruto stared at the man in silence, unable to even think of what to say. He had never meant to actually change Zabuza's mind or anything. He just wanted Zabuza to see how _wrong_ the shinobi way was.

The man seemed to be smirking under the bandages covering his mask, "What, cat got your tongue, gaki? Or are you so surprised to discover that I'm human? Even shinobi are human, no matter how much we try to escape that fact. That's what your sensei was trying to teach you... but we always fail. Or at least... I have." Zabuza reached back and wrapped his fingers around Kubikiribōchō's hilt, "Stay back, kid. This fight is between me and Gatou."

There was a brief pause, a small moment of silence, before Zabuza suddenly charged forward with the speed only a shinobi could achieve after years of training. Naruto watched the nuke-nin in awe and horror as he met with the numerous thugs of that Gatou guy and, like a wave breaking on a rocky shore, blood pieces of thugs went flying into the air. Arms, legs, torsos, heads, it didn't matter what it was; but some appendage would go into the air every time a thug thought he had a chance against Zabuza. Naruto suddenly knew how out of league he was, a simple genin, against someone like Zabuza; and he was immensely glad that Zabuza wasn't against Team 7 anymore.

"Rah! Damn it, I'm not going to sit this battle out like a coward!" Naruto suddenly shouted and made a hand sign, "Kage bushin no Jutsu!" Three other Naruto's popped into existence, drawing the attention of a few thugs that Zabuza left alive to go after Gatou. Their eyes lit up at the sight of an easier target.

One thug snickered as he took a step towards the genin, "Awww, look. A little brat thinks he has a chance against us. What'chya say, boys? Shall we teach him a lesson?" There was a collect of evil chuckles as each thug brought out their weapons and turned to face the boy.

Naruto was not amused, "Don't underestimate me!" He snapped and two shadow clones charged forward. While the thugs were busy taking care of them, Naruto concentrated on the jutsu Yanagi-sensei had taught him. He had mastered it, but he didn't even have a fan to concentrate the chakra. Naruto doubted that the jutsu would work without a fan or something to concentrate his chakra, at least that was what Yanagi-sensei had told him. However this was a live or die situation and he didn't have a choice. "Fūton: Wind Blade!" Naruto shouted and prayed to kami that this worked.

It didn't.

The thugs laughed at him when nothing happened, "Look at him, you're a long way from home, little kid. What a pathetic-" The thugs' self proclaimed speaker was suddenly cut off when a hawk shot past Naruto's shoulder and slammed full speed into the man's face, its wings smacking the man upside his head. The thug's laughter turned into screams of pain as the hawk raked its curved talons down his face, carving deep bloody grooves in his cheeks, and pecked at his eyes with its sharp hooked beak. He reached up, trying to pull the bird off, but it only fell back for a moment before swooping back in and digging it's talons into the man's neck. The thug fell backwards and laid prone, _dead_, underneath the now calm hawk as it cleaned it's blood spattered feathers. The whole thing had only lasted a short moment.

Naruto spun around, his blue eyes going wide as he saw Yanagi-sensei walking towards him. A swarm of hawks flew around her, a cacophony of shrieks and caws. The hawk that had clawed at the thug took flight and landed on Yanagi-sensei's shoulder, looking utterly smug with his perch of honor. The rest of the hawks spread out among the bridge work, each of their sharp yellow eyes seeming to pick a victim to claw the face off of.

Even though the blonde really didn't like his sensei all that much, he was glad to see her. "Frizzy-sensei! How's Haku, did you heal him?" Naruto asked when his sensei stopped beside him.

"I don't know," The tall woman said blandly as she shrugged, "Taicho is healing him."

Naruto blinked at her, confused before looking over his shoulder at where Haku was. He was surprised to see another Yanagi still crouched over the older boy's body, green chakra pouring out of her hands and into Haku's chest. Naruto twisted to face the Yanagi beside him, "You're a shadow clone!" He exclaimed.

Let be known that, shadow clone or not, Yanagi-sensei's hits still hurt. "Idiot. Of course I am." She cracked her knuckles and made a strange hand sign that Naruto didn't recognize, "You take care of these buzzards, I'll take the rest of the stragglers that Peach-boy leaves." The hawks seemed to respond to Yanagi-sensei's hand sign and like a storm cloud of feathers and sharp talons, all shot forward after any thug standing still.

Naruto decided to ignore the horrible screams that were now rising from the masses.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

Haku groaned quietly under my hands and I sighed in relief. That he was responding meant that Haku was out of danger. I could quit healing him if I had to and not worry about him dying regardless of my efforts. I was already dangerously low on chakra _again_ after I had created that shadow clone to offer some protection and assistance to Naruto. I didn't really trust Zabuza to watch out for the blonde kid and there was _no way in hell_ that I would let another student die on this mission, especially since the two more dangerous opponents were out of the fight. Naruto could handle civilian thugs easily one on one, but no one could survive being overwhelmed. Even by wussies like Gatou's so called bodyguards.

"Otou...san..." Haku wheezed. I frowned at the boy as he lolled his head away from me, his eyelids fluttering uselessly. Who the hell was Haku talking- I looked behind my shoulder where the _training dummies_ were getting their asses handed to them by Zabuza. Did Haku think of Zabuza like a father? That would explain his suicidal behavior when it came to protecting the kenjutsu master.

The boy's eyes suddenly snapped open and he tried to sit up. I cut the healing chakra to pin him to the ground and gave him a wordless stern look in hopes to convey my meaning. Haku's chocolate brown eyes glared back at me. I noticed that his right eye was blood shot from capillaries that had burst when I hit him with the fire ball, and felt a twinge of guilt at the reminder that I had almost killed the kid. Had I not wanted Zabuza to suffer painfully, I _would_ have killed Haku. Strange to think that my thirst for revenge had saved someones life.

...I was signing up for therapy when I got home after this.

Haku looked away first. He looked strangely unhappy. I blinked down at my impromptu patient, confused as his change in mood. I had been expecting anger or... something other than sadness. "Let me die..." Haku rasped quietly.

I raised an eyebrow and leveled a flat look at Haku. I wasn't going to let the kid die, not after going through everything to keep him alive. I was almost at the point of chakra exhaustion again, damn it! And this little brat had the gall to ask me to kill him. I got it that Zabuza basically raised the gaki only think of himself as a tool, but every human should have _some_ self-preservation. And if this was Haku trying to get away without having to face the fact that he killed _my cousin_ then I say he could go screw himself.

Instead of answering, since I really couldn't anyway, I reached into my weapons pouch and brought out a roll of bandages Rin forced me to keep on my person at all times. Without meeting Haku's gaze, I gently lilted his head forward and began wrapping the slim bandages around his skull so that they covered his right eye. I didn't have the medical talent to heal capillary blood vessels, his eye would have to heal naturally, or at least until he got better help.

The ice user reached up and grabbed my wrist with a surprisingly strong grip. I paused in my work and met Haku's single uncovered eye. "Kill me." He hissed. By his grimace I guess that the boy's vocal cords had been damaged as well. With my free hand I activated the diagnostic jutsu and laid my palm against Haku's throat. Despite his pleading for me to kill him, Haku tensed when he felt my touch. I couldn't help but smile inwardly at that. Any good shinobi didn't like having their neck exposed, it was a sign of helplessness and defeat.

Withdrawing my hand after scanning the damage, I went back to work wrapping Haku's eye up. It wasn't serious, something more like a sore throat than an internal burn. Haku's grip on my left wrist tightened almost to the point of breaking it. I glared at him, if he didn't let me go I was going to make him seriously regret it. There was only so much touching a jounin could take before their temper snapped.

The boy quelled under my full glare and he released my wrist in a hurry. I might not be able to talk at the moment, but I could easily get my point across with glares.

"I'm useless now..." Haku whispered after a moment of silence. I rolled my eyes and contemplated the consequences of knocking the Ice Princess out. Since Zabuza was a little busy at the moment he might never know, but there was always the risk of Haku tattling on me.

Best not risk it.

"Shutit." I ground out, not even bothering to enunciate my words clearly. I hated the kid for killing my cousin, but it wasn't Haku that I wanted to kill in revenge. It was Zabuza for taking such an innocent child like Haku and twisting his rare loyalty into something ugly. But if it was that manner of thinking then I couldn't blame Zabuza either, I realized. It was Kirigakure for creating so many monsters like Zabuza, for teaching children that death wasn't just a part of life, it was something to enjoy.

I _loathed_ the Bloody Mist.

Haku started begging, "Jounin-san... _please._"

I shook my head. I would not give in to his demands. I refused to kill the child, if only because I didn't want to see my work and efforts to keep him alive go to waste.

"Frizzy-sensei! Haku!" Naruto's joyous yelp sounded from further down the bridge. I shifted to look at my blonde student bounding towards us. Behind him Zabuza followed at a more sedated pace, Kubikiribōchō on his shoulder gleaming red with blood and gore. My summonings were scattered among the dead, feasting upon their reward for helping me. I couldn't suppress the grimace at that. I had always been slightly revolted at the contract I held with my summons: that anytime I called them into battle they got the remains of any flesh left.

My shadow clone was crouching even further back, close to the edge of the bridge where a small lump that no hawk touched laid; I was guessing it was the remains of Gatou. I had given her orders to get something with Gatou's writing for purposes I intended to use later.

A soft scrap of someone's sandal against the rough ground brought my attention back to what was in front of me. Zabuza stared down at me passively, his face bandages splattered with the scarlet blood of his enemies. He glanced at Haku laying beside me, who looked away, then back at me, "I suppose you held up your end."

I wasn't going to try and ask what he would do if I _hadn't._

Instead I looked at Naruto where he knelt beside me and jabbering endlessly to the silent Haku. The kid had seemed to forget that the ice user had killed his teammate, but I wasn't going to point it out to him. I wasn't that cruel.

Placing a hand on the ground, I slowly got to my feet carefully concealing any sign of struggle from Zabuza. We might be allies now, but until I could secure the alliance it would remain unsteady and must be treated as if it were a wild animal. I did not trust Zabuza in the slightest and I could only expect the same regard he had towards me.

Besides, I didn't _want_ that bastard's help.

My shadow clone was coming back towards us. Our eyes met, her red against my black, and she nodded before turning to Naruto, "Hey, bratling, go find Hinata and make sure Tazuna is secure." Naruto twisted around to stare at the shadow clone then at me standing beside her. I narrowed my eyes at him in a silent threat. Clone Yanagi was still his sensei, just as a copy of me. The brat had better get used to taking orders from my clones just as much as as he took orders from me.

Naruto quickly scrambled to do my bidding, leaving Zabuza and Haku alone. I turned my back on the nuke-nin pair and brushed passed the shadow clone, dismissing her as I went. I had another matter to attend to, and it wasn't a pleasant one. I did not wish for either of my remaining students to be around as I stored Sasuke's body in a storage scroll like he was a common bounty.

The area where Sasuke had died was further back on the bridge, away from where the fighting had taken place. My little cousin laid where Naruto had left him, senbon needles still sticking out of him like some sick attempt at a porcupine. He looked like he was still in pain, his pale face scrunched up and etched with fine red lines from stray needles grazing his skin. I stared down at Sasuke, feeling empty.

Uchiha do not show sadness; they use their grief as a tool to fight. We were the strongest clan in Konoha, we must lead by example. That was what every Uchiha child was taught long before they even entered the Academy. Emotion was a liability and a hindrance. Tears are a sign of weakness. Something Kakashi-nii pounded into my head at an early age; further cementing Uchiha teachings. I never really bothered with it all though. My short temper was an emotion and one I readily applied to almost every situation I came across. I used it to my benefit though, instilling some small level of fear among those I could. On that small foundation I built my entire reputation. I was ruthless, vulgar, quick tempered, and more arrogant that most Uchihas on a good day; and I was _proud_ of that.

I wanted to feel sad that Sasuke was gone forever, but I couldn't. Regret, yes. Regret that I hadn't taught him more to keep him alive. Disappointment in myself for living up to Nii-san's prediction and being a horrible sensei. Anger that I wasn't tearing Zabuza and Haku apart right now for killing the boy. But no grief. I had seen too many children die already, what was one more?

Even if he was my cousin.

Slowly, I knelt by his body and pulled out a premade storage scroll used exactly for this purpose. I had no talent for fuinjutsu, so I relied on other people to make them for me. I mildly wondered if Nekobaa would be sad to know that one of her body storage scrolls was being used on her favorite little Uchiha and if she would be disappointed that Sasuke would never complete that Paw Encyclopedia she always talked about when I visited her.

I unrolled the scroll and laid it down beside Sasuke's corpse. There was no time to ponder useless things. With a gentleness I knew Mikoto-oba would expect, I lifted her dead little boy and laid him on top of the seal's focus point. I sat back and studied him before absently pulling a senbon needle from his shoulder. I knew that his family would not appreciate seeing the weapons that killed him, I should pluck them before sealing Sasuke's body. I reached for the senbons in his neck, feeling that those were the most demeaning. After all, good shinobi didn't like having their neck exposed.

_There._

I froze, not sure what the hell I was feeling. Not a heartbeat, Sasuke's heart had long stopped, that was sure of it. But... warmth. Chakra. _Life._ Like a small ember still clinging to the warmth of flame, determined not to burn out and become a lowly lump of coal. Steady, waiting for that extra push to turn back into a brilliant fire. There was still a chance to save my baby cousin. I was low on chakra, what I gave possibly couldn't help, but if might keep that ember flickering for _just a while longer_ until someone could stroke it alive again.

Screw it.

I laid my palm flat against Sasuke's chest and pushed what remaining chakra I could spare into his coils. It wasn't much, but I felt his heart flutter beneath my fingers like a caged little bird. Good, then he no longer needed help, Sasuke could make it back to us on his own.

Which was excellent, since I was passing out again.

^o^

Couldn't help myself with that last sarcastic comment. XD Whoo, this chapter turned out WAAAAAAY longer and WAAAAAAY more emotional that I expected. Seriously, 18 pages of emotion/sarcasm/emotion/sarcasm back and forth back and forth ARGH it's killing me! Plus I had that stupid cold about midway through the chapter, so I couldn't get it done in forever! DX Oh well, I'm finished now! And now the Land of Waves Arc is COMPLETE! *fanfare and confetti and the whole sha-bang!*

In the end I couldn't kill Haku and Zabuza. Mostly because Yanagi doesn't really have a 'one shot kill' jutsu like Kakashi does with Chidori. Of course it doesn't help that I didn't _want_ to kill them. I don't know why, but I can never kill Haku and Zabuza. I'm fine with any other character. My own OCs, sure no problem that's easy I do it all the time. Killing Sasuke, heck yeah, never liked the prick that much anyway. Itachi or Deidara, eh... it's doable. I'll still cry while I'm writing out their death, but I can do it. Killing Haku and Zabuza... NO! Red light! Red Alert! No no Nope no! Do not pass GO, do not collect $200!

**~It's not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.**

**UP NEXT!** _A Different Kind of Peach_

Flame Friendly.


	16. A Different Kind of Peach

Disclaimer: Nope, I only own Yanagi and most of the Uchiha clan! (seriously... there is more Uchiha members mentioned in this generation than any others, and I still have to make most of them up!)

Skipping my chores to give you this chapter, aren't you happy?! lol

Okay, so I lied. I completely forgot about the tie up chapter for the Waves Arc, my bad. BUT, there won't be any more of my sorry attempts at writing fight scenes (at least for a while) AND there is nothing that even smells of the canon Waves anymore (okay, that's another lie, you'll see what I mean) cuz I know some of you are bummed out on Wave Arcs since everyone does them. I assure you though, THIS chapter is the last you'll see of Waves… at least until Shipuuden… But not the last you see of Peach-boy and Haku! ;3 Seriously, every story I've ever read in which Zabuza and Haku live, they like fall off the face of the universe as soon as the Land of Waves Arc is done. Why does no one see the _potential_ of a Zabuza/Kakashi rivalry (or in this case Zabu/Yagi)?! Or Haku being like an awkward older brother figure to Team 7, especially Naruto who likes to stick to people with sappy sad stories like a damn tick! Nah-uh, I'm going to keep those suckers in the story as much as I can! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

…Sorry, I wrote this around Easter so I had lots of chocolate to keep my sugar high going…

Let me tell ya, most of this was written between 3 and 4 am so it might be a little crazier than normal… and probably has more spelling mistakes…

_BTW: If you figure out the pairing… __**SHHHHHHH!**__ Keep it to yourself, cuz I wanna see how long I can go without revealing it! ;) Just PM me about any guesses you might have or when I do reveal the pairing leave a review screaming 'HA HA I KNEW IT!'… or something like that._

**Remember the poll? Ya know, the one in which YOU get to chose the next story I publish? Yeah, that poll. I still need answers for it! ^^ Results are as of Sep 9: ****Akatsuki Senpai**** 19, ****Mask of Lies**** 15, ****Child Between Us**** & ****Life as We Know It**** tied at 9, ****My Not-So-Little Merman**** 8, ****War on Konohagakure**** 7, ****Matchmaker's Madness**** 6, ****As Luck Would Have It**** 5. ****To the Fullest**** and ****Mission Impossible**** are being threatened to taken off the poll since they only have 1 vote each; so if you really really wanna read them, **_**go vote**_**. PLUS there has been made two additions: ****Chance of Happiness**** and ****Changing Fate****. SUMMARIES ARE ON MY PROFILE, CHECK THAT OUT BEFORE YOU VOTE! **_**If you already made your vote and would like to vote again (on either the new choices or just add in another point towards the story you REALLY want, PM or review with your choice.**_

vvv

"No."

Naruto pouted, "Awwww, c'mon, sensei! Please? I'll be extra careful!" The blonde little brat batted his eyelashes up at me with an innocent smile. I was not amused, mostly because of the fact that a twelve year old _boy_ could flutter his eyelashes and I couldn't.

"No."

Naruto opened in mouth again, but Haku interrupted him, "Naruto-kun, please don't irritate Yanagi-san. She is still healing." Zabuza and I snorted at the exact same time. There wasn't much Haku could do to silence Naruto other than hitting him upside the head with a skillet like I was _going _on doing if the little shit didn't shut his trap.

Surprisingly enough, Naruto listened to the older teen and edged over to where Sasuke was still resting. It had been three days since the fight on the bridge, or so Peaches said. I had been surprised that I had slept that long, but not so surprised about Sasuke. He had been to the point of complete chakra depletion, just barely alive. Not only was it past the point of no return, but this drain was Sasuke's first brush with chakra exhaustion so it would take a while for his coils to fill back up.

The second Naruto was out of hearing range I glared up at Zabuza who was sitting against a wall next to my futon, "Bastard." I snapped.

He only smirked and crossed his arms, trying to maintain an innocent look like he didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I don't know why he even bothered, he was the only one here who even saw me use the Fan of Wonders so he was the only one who could have told Naruto.

I bet he did it just to mess with me.

Damn it, don't tell me this man was another Shisui!

Haku sighed quietly behind me and cool hands gently grasped my shoulders, "Yanagi-san, please don't talk much. Otherwise the poultice won't stick to your jaw." He chided as he forced me to slowly lay back down on the futon provided for me.

The ice user had turned out to be a healer too. But unlike Konohagakure, which had a monopoly on medical ninjutsu thanks to Lady Tsunade, Haku didn't know how to heal with chakra. He simply got by with herbs and backwater remedies, which was what most Kiri nins learned in lieu of medical ninjutsu. It was better than Iwa's 'tough it out, it doesn't hurt' ideology at least.

I was lucky really that Haku turned out to be what some might call a medic; otherwise I would have to suffer with a fractured jawbone and gaping chest wound all the way back to Konoha since I lacked the talent to heal myself– it was kind of pathetic that I was the best healer in the Uchiha clan, really; and it showed just how bad Uchiha members were at medical ninjutsu.

The bratling had just better be glad that he never really meant to kill Sasuke, only put him in a temporary state of death. Otherwise I would be the worst patient I could possibly be.

Peach-boy snickered at my quiet compliance to being manhandled by his student, and I threw Haku's pestle at the grey skinned nuke-nin in retaliation. It infuriated me that he caught it. Haku sighed in a way that made me think he was the adult and we were the children. Honestly I didn't blame him; other than Tsunami, Haku was probably the only mature person in Tazuna's house. Tazuna had been kind enough to offer his home to both my team and the Kiri nuke-nins while we recuperated; he also disregarded the fact that Zabuza and Haku had tried their damnedest to kill him not too long ago. Maybe I had misjudged the man.

He must be more stupid than I thought.

"Hey Frizzy-sensei! Sasuke-teme is waking up!" Naruto shouted from the other side of the room. I debated briefly between throwing the mortar that went with the pestle at the loud kid or joining him at my cousin's bedside.

Haku decided for me when he leveled a stern look at me, "Don't get up, you might reopen your wound."

"Which?" I asked, deliberately being obtuse. I had only been wounded at the chest, and Haku's reaction was too hilarious to pass up on.

Like I predicted, Haku blushed and stuttered. It had turned into a rather entertaining game for me to make Haku blush, almost as fun as irritating Sasuke. The ice user was at that awkward age where talking about the other sex's anatomy was very uncomfortable, and I milked it for all it was worth. The boy's visible eye started drifting to my chest before he abruptly jerked his gaze away and stared vehemently at the poor wall. There was a pause before the teen scrambled to his feet and hurried over to check on Sasuke.

Or to get away from me, it was hard to tell.

Which Haku out of my hair, I turned my head to eye the Demon of the Mist, who was trying his hardest not to laugh, "Now what?" I asked. I was really hating not being able to speak much, but at least I could _speak_ again.

Peach-boy shrugged and didn't answer me.

Not amused, I reached out and flicked the man's big toe, since it was the closest thing to me. Zabuza gave me a funny look to which I returned with a lopsided grin. Now that we weren't enemies I planned to annoy the man to the best of my abilities. With no Kakashi-nii or Nii-san around, I was feeling a little deprived of annoying people. Team 7 didn't count, they were just traumatized whenever I pulled funny shit.

After failed for several minutes of trying to get a reaction out of the nuke-nin, I reached to my left where Haku had placed my weapons pouch–why did that brat even touch a foreign ninja's weapons pouch was beyond me–and yanked out a my Fan of Wonders. It surprised me that someone, probably Haku, had thought to retrieve the weapon from the bridge; but I wasn't going to complain. The thing was expensive as hell and I would probably never earn enough money to replace the one I had; Kakashi and Obito had to split the cost of it when they had it commissioned for me when I made jounin rank. Besides, I was attached to the fan I had for obvious reasons. Planting my right elbow into the floor, I managed to push myself into a sitting position with the fan in my lap. I really wanted to just lay on my futon and bother Zabuza, but I had a stupid report to fill out.

Kill me.

Zabuza had a strange look on his face as he watched me take my field pen and ink block out of their hiding places. He had already seen the senbon launcher and the kunai blade during our fight, so it was no wonder he looked a little amazed at the fan's many hidden compartments. Peaches even choked a little when I twisted the heel sole of my discarded right sandal and pulled out a blank miniature scroll, the perfect size for a messenger hawk to carry.

"Is there anything you don't hide?" The nuke-nin drawled as I made the ink.

I gave him a dry look, "My temper." I deadpanned then ignored Peach-boy as I hurried to write my post battle report. It had already been three days since the battle, if I waited any longer the Hokage was bound to strangle me for mimicking my brothers' habitual laziness.

_'Yellow Update_

_Mission status: Complete_

_Team: Genin Team 7_

_Report: Team encountered A-class nuke-nin, Momochi Zabuza at Destination, with Identified Ally: Yuki Haku. Battle ensued, Team Leader heavily injured: Fractured Jawbone and Wound to Chest. Genin A heavily injured: Temporary Death State and Chakra Depletion. Genin A activated Kekke Genkai, will require Clan Guidance upon Return. Genin B has temporarily Accessed S-Ranked Secret; unknown to all members of Team. Battle concluded with No Deaths in either Party. Deaths of Mercenaries and Gang Leader: Gatou. Temporary Truce with A-class nuke-nin, Momochi Zabuza and Ally. Full Report Due upon Team's Return. Will attempt to solve remaining problem with Diplomacy.'_

I waved the unbound scroll in the air like a little ribbon to dry the ink faster, before rolling it up and painting two bands around the outside, marking it as Moderate Priority. The report was only a post battle report and didn't require the immediate attention of the Hokage; but still, Sasuke's activation of the Sharingan, Naruto's use of the red chakra, and Zabuza's change of heart were all important events that the Hokage should know about before Team 7 made it back home. Especially since he would have to inform the Uchiha clan about Sasuke.

I was about to tie up the problem with Gatou too when Haku found his courage again and descended on me like a vengeful Ice Princess.

Peach-boy was no help at all.

vvv

Another three weeks went by as we all waited for the bridge to be completed and for Sasuke to regain his strength to move out. The Hokage had sent back a response via my messenger hawk that Zabuza and Haku would accompany us to Konoha, not as prisoners but to work out a deal with the Hokage. I had used my sharingan and a pilfered slip of paper with Gatou's writing on it to forge a will stating that the deceased man's entire fortune went to Zabuza; to give the Kiri nuke-nin an excuse and a place to stay out of trouble. It was for Konoha's benefit; we would lose a customer, but gain an ally and a foothold against Kirigakure if the village ever needed it. After all, a shinobi never wasted an opportunity to plan ahead.

Unless you were a numskull like Naruto.

"No, no, no! I can't find it, it's gone!" Naruto cried as he rifled through his mission's pack with desperation to find something. Haku and Hinata were the only ones to watch the brat panic in genuine concern while Sasuke just glared at Haku whenever he thought no one was looking. Zabuza and I straight up did not care.

"N-Naruto-kun... what are you looking for?" Hinata asked. She had been acting strangely ever since the fight and I fully intended to wring it out of her the second we got home. Or possibly throw her at Obito and let _Mr. Feelings_ deal with the Hyuuga heiress since I already failed at the emotional buddy-buddy thing.

At least she wasn't stuttering much anymore.

Naruto groaned and jammed his stubby little finger into his hair in frustration, "Teuchi gave me a coupon for one free order of ramen and I _know _I had it on me!" I groaned quietly and pinched my nose. I should have known that this was about damn _ramen_. I was seriously contemplating on sending Naruto to therapy over his addiction to ramen; but I was sure Kushina would roll over in her grave if I did.

Actually, knowing her, she'd just haunt my ass from the afterlife.

I shuddered at the possibility and dropped the thought. The last thing I needed was Naruto's mother coming after me as a ghost. She had been scary enough alive and I didn't want to suffer through another concussion courtesy of a dead Uzumaki woman.

Zabuza shot me a curious look, which I pointedly ignored. I didn't wish to add insanity to the list of things Zabuza thought about me.

My sensei instincts kicked in by then and I looked up to see Naruto starting to run off, "Hey! Get your ass back here!" I snapped. There wasn't time for this; the Hokage expected us back in a week and I sure as hell wasn't going to let something as stupid as a _misplaced coupon_ delay our return any further.

"I'll be right back, I swear!" Naruto called over his shoulder. He was gone in a flash, probably thinking that I was going to chase him. I swear that kid was learning to quickly on how to evade my ire, I had a feeling that I was becoming predictable. And a ninja often created very bizarre situations just so they lost their predictability.

Obito-nii was going to suffer from a butt load of pranks when I got home.

Haku started after my brat, "I'll get him." He said calmly before zipping off.

I pursed my lips and grabbed Sasuke by his Uchiha collar as he began to walk in the opposite direction of Naruto and Haku, "You're going after them."

My cousin gave me a very teenager look, "Are you serious?" If I didn't know better, I would say he was whining. In the back of my mind, I groaned. Great, now Sasuke was getting to the teenage rebellion stage and Naruto would likely follow soon. There was going to be a lot of head bashing in their future if they didn't pass through the stage quickly.

"Yes." I deadpanned and shoved him back towards the Land of Waves. The boy heaved a sigh and started walking slowly back the way we came. My hand twitched and I came _this close_ to finishing what Haku started. The damn brat was being difficult on purpose!

Once the damn little cocky Uchiha prince of the brats was gone, Peach-boy turned to me, "You still don't trust us." It wasn't a question.

I scoffed, "I trust Haku, at least when it comes to Naruto. It's you I don't trust."

"When why-"

"Why did I send Sasuke after the other two boys?" I finished from him. I shrugged, "Have you seen the was Sasuke glares at Haku? I don't want to deal with that drama for the rest of the week. They can all work out their problems away from me. I'm their sensei, not a damn therapist. Now come along, Hinata, if I remember correctly there's a tea shop around here somewhere." I didn't leave the Hyuuga any choice as I grabbed her wrist and forcibly dragged her along. I could hear Zabuza sighing then fell in step beside me without a word.

**vvv 3rd POV~ Haku vvv**

"Naruto-san, please. Yanagi-san and Zabuza-sama are waiting for us. Yanagi-san is already upset, let us not anger her more." Haku asked as he caught up to Naruto. Naruto didn't slow down in his tree jumping though.

Naruto-san landed on a branch and was about to push off again when a barrage of kunai knives perforated the poor innocent tree limp. Naruto yelled in surprise then followed the trajectory to where Sasuke stood upside down on a branch twenty feet higher than Naruto's.

"Hey, what's the big idea?! Watch were you're throwing those things, teme!" Naruto shouted as he waved his fist around at his teammate. Haku resolutely decided that this was a team conflict and stayed silent. He had already witnessed the odd dynamics of the dysfunctional Team 7 and didn't wish to be sucked further in to their insanity.

Sasuke-san didn't sound very amused, "That's payback for not being a team player. You've wasted enough of our time already, let's head back. Yanagi-itoko is pissed."

Naruto slumped a little and Haku was mildly surprised that he was already giving in. During one of the many dinners that Yanagi-san practically twisted arms, particularly Zabuza-sama's, to make sure everyone was present, Naruto-san had declared his own nindo way: that he would never give up no matter what. The way the preteen had said it made Haku think Naruto would never stop, not even for the most trivial matters.

"Okay, I get it." Sasuke scoffed in victory, but it proved to be premature, "I will... right after I take care of my business!" Naruto-san exclaimed and leaped under Sasuke-san. Naruto patted his rear end in a very immature manner, "Like I'd ever take orders from you, bone-head!" He called to Sasuke, who looked a little bewildered.

Haku sighed when Sasuke-san shot after his teammate. He had planned to return to Zabuza-sama now that Yanagi-san had sent Sasuke-san after Naruto, but it looked to be he was going to have to go after them and act as the mediator between the two stubborn genin.

It didn't take long for the three of them to reach the little town where Gatou had been killed. Haku followed after the two younger boys from a short distance, just beyond hearing range. He had stopped for a moment earlier to put on his cracked pseudo hunter-nin mask to hid his burn scars and hadn't bothered to regain the distance it had cost him; he wasn't trying to stop Naruto like Sasuke-san was. Haku saw no need to since they were already in the town, it would just be better for all of them if Naruto-san finished his business and went back willingly. Why Sasuke didn't see that was beyond the Kiri nuke-nin.

There was a poof of smoke that indicated the use of a jutsu and Haku nearly fell off the roof when he saw that Naruto had transformed into a busty _naked_ girl with only scant puffs of chakra smoke to cover her...

Haku blushed.

Yanagi-san had already exploited Haku's aversion to the awkward topic of women anatomy ever since she regained her ability to speak. Zabuza-sama had been no help at all since he found the whole thing amusing. Haku had a sneaking suspicion that Zabuza had intentionally told Yanagi about Haku's dislike of the topic to get back at him for ignoring his master those first three days when Yanagi-san had been unconscious. Haku would have probably continued avoiding Zabuza-sama if Yanagi hadn't, almost literally, bashed their heads together and flat out told them what the other was feelings about Haku's near death.

For such a surly woman, she did think of others... sometimes.

While Haku had been trying to collect his dazed thoughts, Sasuke-san thankfully broke the transformation jutsu and had tied Naruto-san up with ninja wire. Haku quickly leaped the rest of the way until he was crouching on the roof directly above the Konoha genin.

"Just give it up would you?" Sasuke-san asked in that emotionless, slightly condescending, voice he often used when around Naruto. Haku watched the Uchiha boy curiously. They were already in town, to drag Naruto-san back now would be just a waste of time. It was better to let the blonde boy get his coupon and head back, that way they killed two birds with one stone. Right? 

Another voice spoke, "Hey! What are you two doing here?" The three boys looked at the speaker. Tazuna-san stood in front of Naruto, looking as if he were about to go on another journey, if the pack on his back was anything to go by. Now that the Great Naruto Bridge was finished, Tazuna would likely be raking in more commissions to build bridges, so it was no surprise to Haku. In fact, if Zabuza-sama decided to stay in the Land of Waves they would probably be escorting Tazuna-san around a lot. Kind of ironic, at least to Haku.

Naruto brightened at the sight of his team's former employer, "Tazuna-oji! Talk about perfect timing!" He tried to move, but Sasuke jerked on his 'leash', "Ya see I left something at your place."

Tazuna-san leaned down so he was closer to Naruto's level, "Wait, let me guess. A little slip of paper?" Naruto nodded happily. "Inari-chan wanted to make sure you had so he ran off a little while ago to take it to you." Haku mentally winced at that. If Inari-san caught up to the rest of their group, he would have to face Yanagi-san. During their time at Tazuna's house, Haku got the instinct impression that Inari was scared of Yanagi. Knowing the jounin, it probably wasn't unfounded.

Really, Yanagi-san was just like Zabuza-sama.

Haku leaped from the roof, surprising Tazuna-san, "Come on. Let us head back, Naruto-san. Maybe we'll come across Inari-san." He suggested quietly. Naruto seemed to cheer up at the thought but Sasuke-san narrowed his dark eyes at Haku. Haku immediately backed away, he knew that Sasuke-san was touchy about the subject of his defeat and Haku had no intention on broaching the topic until Sasuke-san was more calm, if ever. Haku didn't like conflict of any kind, not even verbally.

After a few tense seconds of silence, Sasuke-san reached down and cut the ninja wire from Naruto. He turned away and stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Let's go." He ordered flatly before walking back to the way they came. Naruto-san shot to his feet, dusting off his orange jumpsuit and ran off after his teammate, pausing just briefly to wave good-bye to Tazuna. Haku watched the two genin go with fatigue before tiredly wondering after them. In the scant three weeks he had known Team 7 he had already seen more drama than the entirety of his time with Zabuza-sama.

Haku seriously doubted he was going to survive the rest of the week with them.

"Inari! Hey Inari!" Naruto-san was calling as the three of them walked calmly back up the road that they were taking back to Konoha. Naruto was looking left and right, trying to peer into foliage for the little boy. Sasuke-san and Haku walked flanked him, Haku was trying to help Naruto look while Sasuke-san just walked with his hands folded behind his head, he apparently did not wish to help. Haku did not blame him though. Sasuke-san didn't seem like the person to help unless it benefited him. He acted like a true shinobi, unlike Haku who was too soft.

Naruto-san stopped and planted his fists on his hips, "Huh, I was sure Inari would be down this way..." He mumbled to himself. Haku startled when Naruto suddenly twisted around and pointed an accusing finger to the casual Sasuke-san leaning against a nearby tree. "Hey Sasuke! Get over here and help me look too, would ya?!"

Sasuke turned his nose in the air, "Listen, Inari when looking for _you._ This doesn't involve me." He said with mild contempt. Haku tilted his head to look at the younger dark haired boy. He had often heard that teenagers were rebellious, but he never had been able to witness it himself since he was always around Zabuza-sama who avoided other kids like the plague. He wondered mildly if this was what those people meant.

Naruto gritted his teeth, "Ah c'mon! Whatever happened to teamwork, huh?!"

"That's the only reason I'm here with you now, show some gratitude, loser."

Haku could hear Naruto's teeth gritting from a few feet away and he winced at the sound. "I'll. Show. You. _Gratitude_." Naruto seethed as he stomped off into the woods, punctuating each word with a footstep.

Haku wanted to comment but felt that it wasn't his place. Besides, Sasuke-san did not seem to like him and Naruto-san didn't look to be in the mood to hear advice from anyone.

"Hey, where are you going?" Sasuke questioned as he watched his hot headed teammate stomp away.

"Shut up! I need to go take a leak!" Haku grimaced at Naruto's uncouth manner. It was at times like this that Naruto reminded Haku of the Demon Brothers Zabuza-sama employed. Haku rarely used the word 'dislike', but he _did not_ like those chūnin nuke-nins that followed Zabuza-sama around like unwanted filth.

Naruto-san bent down to grab something and wondered aloud, "What's my ramen coupon doing out here?" That seemed to prick Sasuke's interest as the other boy came to look over Naruto's shoulder. Haku joined them a little later, but didn't get to close. He didn't feel like he belonged here, he almost felt like a babysitter really.

Sasuke jerked, seeing something that Haku could not, "Wait a second, look there." He pointed to the forest floor in front of the duo. Haku looked over the boys' shoulder and saw many footprints in the area. Some big and some... childlike. It wasn't hard to figure out that Inari, and possibly a few friends, had been kidnapped.

Haku stepped up so he was Naruto's other side, "A fight. Likely a few thugs got a way and decided to take a cowards form of revenge." He spoke for the first time since they had gone in search of Inari-san.

There was only a moment's warning before the clouds that had been looming in the sky all day broke and poured their load down on all three of the boys.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

"Just in time." I commented as we ducked under the tea shop awning just as the deluge began. I was glad, I didn't have to worry about my hair frizzing up any more than normal. It was bad enough that Naruto called me 'Frizzy-sensei' I didn't want to give anyone _else_ a reason to call me that. The hostess smiled at the three of us and waved us to sit down on the long bench in front before she bowed to us and asked for our orders.

I rambled off mine and Hinata's, knowing that the little Hyuuga heiress probably wouldn't have it in her to speak up, and leaned back so Peaches could do the same; I was mildly astonished that he ordered water. When the old lady ducked back into the tiny shop, I turned to give Zabuza a look, "Are Kiri nin so obsessed with water they drink it everywhere?" I asked incredulously.

Peach-boy gave me a glare that could evaporate the rain water off my clothes, "No."

I was not letting him get away with that for an answer. I didn't like talking to people much, but I hated awkward silenced even worse. "We're at a _tea shop_ it's generally accepted that people drink _tea_ here." I pointed out slowly.

For a moment, I thought Zabuza might actually try and hit me. If he did, then Zabuza vs. Yanagi Round Three would commence. "I don't like tea." He snapped. Seriously, this guy was never social unless Haku was around and even then it was still a 50/50 chance.

Now Hinata was giving Zabuza a look. People from Konoha practically lived on tea, especially those living in more traditional clans like Hinata and I. In Konoha, someone saying they didn't like tea was like Naruto suddenly declaring that he detested ramen and became a nuke-nin because the Hokage refused to outlaw it.

Peachy didn't miss our shared horrified looks. He glare turned defensive and he looked away with a harrumph, mumbling something about stewed leaf water and pesky women. I smirked.

Yanagi: 17 Zabuza: 12

Another costumer ducked under the tea shop awning and flapped their soaked leather coat out, spraying the three of us in a fine cold spray, but he didn't remove his hood. Suspicious. Zabuza released a hissed breath and glared at the newcomer out of the corner of his eye. I pretended to ignore them as the lady came out sporting trays with our orders and came to take the order of the new costumer. Hinata gingerly took her cup of hot tea while I popped a stick of sweet dango in my mouth. Even from only two seats away, I could barely hear the newcomer as they spoke with the hostess and that only raised my suspicions.

Without thinking about it, I nudged Zabuza and handed him his wimpy glass of water to excuse the action. In return he nodded in acknowledgment as he pulled down a few of his bandages to reveal his mouth and took a casual sip of water. The whole exchange was smooth and nothing was suspicious about it. Strange that only a month ago we were enemies and now we were working together as if we had been for years. But I guess being under the same roof for nearly three weeks did that to a group of enemies-turned-allies.

"So when do you think those brats will get back?" I asked, to keep in character. It would seem suspicious to the tea lady, and possibly the newcomer if he had been watching us before, if we all just fell silent.

Zabuza grunted and said nothing.

I rolled my eyes, and not for show either. This man was just as annoying as Obito-nii, only in the opposite way. "Might as well be talking to myself." I grumbled and popped another dumpling in my mouth, taking all my anger out on it by chewing the poor thing. My anger only elevated when I saw Zabuza's smirk before he brought his water to his lips.

Soon the dango was all gone, eaten by myself really. Zabuza didn't like sweets apparently and Hinata said she wasn't hungry, though I suspected she only said that to please me. I would have forced her to eat one so she wouldn't be hungry, but decided against it to teach her another hidden lesson. Hinata needed to stop being a people pleaser, in the world of shinobi people would take advantage of her faster than she could blink. The Hyuuga needed to grow a little backbone and courage, otherwise everyone would walk over her more times than a welcome mat. I was sure her father already took advantage of her soft nature and it wouldn't be long before she broke if nothing was done.

The newcomer had yet to take his hood off. Zabuza and I had already written him off as an enemy, but now Hinata was starting to get the drift. Though she was a green genin and not all the confident, I knew that Hinata was the most observant on out of my trio of brats. Having grown up in the Hyuuga clan and having a functioning Byakugan, Hinata had an eye for detail. A Hyuuga could look at a scene for three seconds, without their Kekke Genkai activated, and rattle back immediately everything in perfect detail. There was a reason why they were the ones assigned the missions that entailed guarding someone or finding lost items. So it was no surprise to me when Hinata began stiffening. Hurriedly I nudged her in the side so not to alert the mystery man.

"Oi, wanna split a plate of dango? I'm still hungry, but I don't think I can eat all of it this time." I said easily as I shot a warning look at my student. Hinata luckily caught on to it and nodded before looking down at her lap. Leaning back a little, I waved to the tea shop owner from the large window put behind the bench for that purpose. She nodded at me to show she acknowledged me and continued make the stranger's order.

**vvv 3rd POV~Haku vvv**

"Eh?! Inari did _what_?!" Naruto-san practically shrieked when Inari's friends told him what happened. Sasuke now looked concerned instead of indifferent about the whole thing. Though, Haku believed that Sasuke-san had been concerned ever since they found the signs of a fight, he was just showing that emotion now instead of suppressing it like he normally did.

Haku stepped in before Naruto-san could question the obviously traumatized kids further, "Naruto-san, we must go. I know these men, if they find Inari-san..." He trailed off, not wishing to go into detail. Not only were there young kids present, but Sasuke and Naruto were still younger than him and obviously fresh genin. He doubted they had witnessed the true horrors of reality yet. To them everything was still good versus bad; with the bad losing horribly and the good getting away with no permanent injuries.

Sasuke-san, however, seemed to have a notion of just how bad the situation was for he grabbed Naruto by the arm. "Go back and warn the town." He ordered the kids before tugging his teammate along into a run. Haku zipped ahead of them. He had been trained as a hunter-nin before Zabuza-sama and he defected from Kirigakure, he was an expert tracker and following after thugs stupid enough to have marked a clear path with cuts in trees was probably the easiest thing he ever did.

It was quick work finding Inari-san in the river, struggling to make it to shore, and with Naruto-san's numerous shadow clones, it was even easier work to pull him out. Haku felt almost useless standing there next to a line of Narutos and watching as the main Naruto struggled to grab Inari-san's hand. As soon as he had him, Naruto leaped out of the water and set Inari down.

Immediately Haku scanned Inari-san for any obvious injures, but found none. The Kiri nuke-nin was confused, if Inari wasn't injured then why had he been in the river? He had thought that the thugs of Gatou had thrown him over a cliff to watch him drown, but by all appearances Inari looked as if he had jumped willingly.

Inari-san was staring at Naruto in a daze. He looked at Sasuke, then at Haku and finally back at Naruto, "Why are you here? How come?" He asked.

Naruto-san gave Inari his trademark, earsplitting grin, "How come? Cuz of you! You did an awesome job, your friends were able to escape and warn us what happened!"

"The guys are okay?" Inari asked, but before any of the boys could answer, the sound of many footsteps came from their right. All of them turned to see the remainder of Gatou's thugs, a very small remainder, trotting up with the two _filthy_ right hand men of Gatou leading them. Haku narrowed his eyes behind his mask. He _did not_ like those two for trying to kill Zabuza-sama when he was healing from his first fight with Yanagi-san. The only person he hated more than those two had been Gatou himself. And with Gatou out of the way...

If Haku liked killing, he might say he was eager to kill those two.

The crowd came to a stop and one of them, the taller tattooed leader with a cutting fetish accused, accused "You're the brats from the Hidden Leaf!"

The second leader, the one with the strange jacket and purple stripes under his eyes, yanked out his sword as if it were just a piece of metal and not an extension of his arm, "You've gotta lot of nerve coming back here." Naruto and Sasuke-san both glared and tensed, ready for battle, but so far no one made a move. The two leaders hadn't seen how the battle of the bridge had turned out with Naruto-san creating thousands of shadow clones and the village showing up to take back their home; but the rest of the thugs had and they knew that Naruto wasn't just any ordinary kid.

"It's just two kids you guys, go get them!" The second leader shouted when none of his minions immediately ran forward. As if they had been the magic words, the crowd of thugs charged forwards with pathetic battle cries. Sasuke immediately grabbed Inari and jumped back. Haku was glad that Sasuke wouldn't let something like pride put someone else in danger. Until now, the ice user had been worried if that would be a major problem for someone as competitive as Sasuke-san.

Naruto scoffed, "So, you think you can out number me, do ya?" He asked rhetorically and made his strange hand sign. Multiple Narutos popped back into existence and Haku took a moment to admire the younger kid's stamina. Zabuza-sama had once told him that the shadow clone technique was very high in chakra requirement; that Naruto was able to use the Kagebushin Jutsu twice in so little time and still create more than thirty was something extraordinary.

Haku waited until Sasuke-san had Inari safely out of the way before joining the fight. Luckily by that time some of the Naruto clones had already been popped and so a nice smoke, much like the Hidden Mist Jutsu, permeated the area. Perfect. Pulling out senbon in each hand, Haku began dancing among the thugs, striking out like a snake and putting anyone he hit in a temporary death state. Even if these men had been willingly with Gatou and not just in it for the money like Zabuza-sama and Haku had been, Haku would not kill them unless they forced his hand.

Now that Zabuza-sama had given up on his dream and started a more peaceful one, Haku hoped he would never have to kill again.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

I growled and gnashed my teeth, damn this rain! It was making everything cold and I _hated_ the cold! "It's been _hours_ since they went back, how long does it take for them to find one damn coupon?!" I hissed.

Peaches shrugged, "Haku will find it even if your pests can't." Really? He was still doing the whole fangirling thing?

Ignoring his student posturing for now, I tugged at my ponytail and glared at the stranger still sitting at the end of the tea shop bench. I didn't care if it would alert him or not, I was _pissed_ because he was here and I couldn't pop a shadow clone off to go see what the hell those trio of brats were doing.

Peach-boy landed an elbow in my ribs, making me grunt. He leaned over and hissed in my ear, "Don't do anything stupid." Damn it, how did this guy get to be so good at reading my mind in the few weeks we hadn't been trying to kill each other? My own brother, _who raised me_, wasn't as good a mind reader as Peachy was.

"Elbow me again, _Peach-boy_, and I'll break your arm off and shove it up your ass." I threatened. I heard Hinata whimper slightly behind me and shift away. I really didn't blame her. Hinata was a genin with two high classed jounin who weren't in a very good mood at all; one of which was an infamous nuke-nin who had only recently turned 'good' and the other was from an infamous clan known for their anger induced fights and rather horrifying genjutsu.

My comment finally seemed to get the stranger's attention, who had, until recently, seemed quite content to act as if we didn't exist. "Interesting..." He said lowly. Zabuza and I both whipped around to glare at him in sync. This was it, most likely the hooded stranger would attack and I could take my pent up anger out on him and bash his brains in. I almost shivered in excitement.

The hood turned a little, giving me the impression that the man might be looking at us out of the corner of his eye, "I thought you were a family, guess your not."

Hinata eeped behind me while Peaches and I exchanged dry looks. How this _idiot_ stranger came to such a conclusion, or how he proved himself wrong, I did not wish to know. At all. Ever. Seriously, all three of us were wearing our haiti-ate, of two different villages no less, and Zabuza was lugging around Kubikiribōchō on his back. All we lacked was a sign that said _WE ARE SHINOBI AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS_. How this idiot thought we might possibly be a family was beyond me. Of course, he could be trying to get a raise out of us. But even then it wouldn't work. Shinobi had control over their emotions, most of the time, and trying to make a ninja blush was about the hardest thing to do and the most clichéd.

"And I think you're an idiot, turns out I'm right." I retorted. I was already irritated with my little brats and this never ending rain. Being associated to Peach-bastard in a positive manner was just the icing on the shit cake of my day. We could be out of the damn Wave Country already if Naruto hadn't gone after his damn ramen coupon!

I swear I was going to kill the brat with training when we got back to Konoha. He'd never ask for another mission like this ever again.

Unfortunately the hooded man seemed to find amusement in my statement and just laughed. My right eye started twitching then and I was contemplating bodily harm when the source of my ire finally decided to show their nasty little faces. I turned my glare on all three boys when they came up to the tea shop, completely soaked. Naruto and Sasuke paled while Haku stiffened. He might have paled too, but he was strangely wearing his mask. After we had first left the town, Haku had taken the mask off and hadn't put it back on since.

No matter, he was dead in a few minutes anyway.

I inspected the other two brats and found small scrapes and specks of blood on their clothing. I hung my head with a long suffering groan. _Of course, _they would get into some dramatic fight with random enemies. Team 7 was unlucky enough to land a falsely labeled A-rank mission on their first 'C-rank' mission, so _why not_ add more drama to it already?!

Damn karma demons. Why was I the one stuck with the unluckiest team on earth?

Sasuke seemed to sense my exasperation for he opened his mouth, no doubt to report, but I just held up a hand, "I do not want to know. You little bastards are filling out your own paperwork this time." I was not going to be doing paperwork over an extra mission that I didn't even participate in! Filling out paperwork on additional missions that didn't follow the primary objective were a pain in the ass to fill out, more so than normal.

Naruto and Sasuke shrunk back behind Haku, who seemed to be eying the hooded stranger still sitting quietly off to the side. Zabuza laid money down for our food, which was surprising because I was sure he'd make me pay for what Hinata and I ordered. Peach-boy had struck me to be a big penny-pincher; but I wasn't going to complain if he proved me wrong. More money for me.

Haku removed his mask to speak, but before a single syllable could leave his mouth, the stranger attacked. Immediately all of us reacted and reached for our nearest weapons, but didn't get the chance to attack. Mostly because we were all staring at the stranger hugging Haku. Not strangling. Not holding him hostage. Not even acting aggressive.

_Hugging_.

Zabuza and I exchanged confused looks. We had probably seen a lot of strange things in our careers, but a total stranger hugging a shinobi scarred by angry red burn marks had to be at least in the top five of most bizarre.

And yes, this incident beat the time I had to accompany a nobleman's daughter to a local bathhouse, as the 'friend of the day', only to have her almost abducted by her ex-sumo-wrestler ex-boyfriend. Somehow there was also a chicken involved.

"Oh you poor baby! Poor child! Who did this to you?" The man asked in an odd squeaky voice. His voice was still deep but it rose several octaves at the end of every sentence, almost as if he were talking in questions. Poor Haku looked bewildered and shot us pleading looks from his prison. I seriously doubted Obito, who was internationally known for his infiltration and evasion skills, could get out of that hug.

"Eh?! Just who are you?" Naruto shouted, pointing a finger at the stranger.

The man seemed to realize he had an audience, even the damn tea lady had come out of her shop to stare at him. He laughed sheepishly and put Haku back down on the ground, but didn't release the poor kid, "Oh... my name is Kurosawa Momoko." The person pushed back their hood to reveal a pair of upturned eyes, much like Naruto's, and a mess of short chocolate brown hair. A scar, a nick really, slanted over Momoko's cheekbone and curved downwards towards his jaw like a sideways hook; that alone was enough to identify him as who he said he was.

I blinked, Zabuza facepalmed and Haku blanched under his burn marks. Team 7 looked between the three of us confused, not understanding anything going on but I couldn't blame their ignorance for that. They were fresh from the Academy and barely knew what a _nuke-nin_ was. Kurosawa Momoko was an infamous mercenary who was responsible for the fall of some country no one remembered anymore more than a decade ago. He... _She_ got her name 'Nariagari Naginata' for the legend of starting several civil wars by using only her naginata and pepper spray.

All for the _fun_ of it.

"Last the rumors had it you were in Grass Country causing trouble." I said dryly.

Momoko laughed and waved a hand, "I've retired from that business, dearie," I twitched at the endearment, "there's no fun in it anymore. I got my fill of fighting, now I just wonder the world. I'm glad I did too! Cuz I wouldn't have met this cutie otherwise!" The older woman squeezed an extra ten years out of Haku.

Peach-boy wasn't looking amused, "Release him." He snarled. I pursed my lips and wondered if I should stop Zabuza before he did anything rash. It wasn't like he couldn't handle himself against Momoko; for all her skill, she wasn't a ninja and was thus as a great disadvantage, but killing someone just because she was touching his student was a little... well, _stupid._ Not that I could really blame Peaches for being overprotective, I'll admit that I was slightly overprotective of Sasuke since he had almost died.

Momoko gave Zabuza a shit-eating grin that dared him to try something and my respect for her went up a little. Not many people could grin cheekily at a pissed off shinobi with a big ass sword and sharp, predatory teeth bared. "Sorry, hon, no can do." From the look on Zabuza's face, I'd say he wasn't used to people telling him no.

Though I found the encounter amusing now that I knew that Momoko wouldn't be a threat to us, I was still frustrated. I wanted to _go home_ not stand around in front of some random tea shop in Wave Country and watching an infamous mercenary butt heads with an equally infamous nuke-nin.

I snagged Naruto's collar and began dragging him away, "Duckass and Hinata, we're going. Those three can work their own problems out." I ordered. I was so done with solving other people's problems, if I wasn't getting paid for it I wasn't going to lift a damn finger to help. My two slightly smarter students immediately fell in step behind me while Naruto struggled to break my grip on his jumpsuit, squawking with indignity.

An hour later when Zabuza and Haku finally caught up to us, neither looking remotely pleased with me, I noticed that Momoko was still firmly attached to Haku. That's when I started laughing and didn't stop until set up camp. Even then I would occasionally start snickering again whenever I glanced over at Ice Princess and his involuntarily new mercenary friend.

vvv

Our little motley group made it back to Konoha two days behind schedule, and thus earning me a rather stern lecture from the Hokage about picking up my brother's worst habits. Team 7 made our mission's report, as well as Sasuke and Naruto's side mission, then stepped aside and let Peach-boy and Ice Princess lay out a rough plan on what they intended to do now that they weren't 'bad guys' anymore. Apparently they were planning on using Gatou's money to start something like the Academy, to teach the younger generations how to protect themselves properly. The Land of Waves was no where near powerful or wealthy enough to be a shinobi nation, but they wouldn't be at the mercy of people like Gatou anymore.

Though half of his face was covered up again with bandages, I swore I could see Zabuza's eyes light up in surprise and respect for the Hokage when the old man suggested he meet with one of the Nara to discuss further development on the plans. Apparently that thing just wasn't done.

Welcome to Konoha, Peach-boy. And get used to our bizarre flavor of insanity.

As soon as both the verbal and written reports were done, which took two extra hours since I had to teach my brats the _proper_ way to write a report, the six of us were released back into the dying sunlight and into Momoko's waiting arms–at least for Haku.

I, on the other hand, was apprehended by someone else entirely.

"Imoto!"

"Damn it, let go of me Nii-san, before I crack your skull open with a blunt spoon!"

Obito dropped me, knowing I would at least try to attempt my threat if I thought he didn't believe me. I landed in a pile at his feet and glared up at Nii-san from my spot on the ground. Obito grinned back, "I heard ya had fun. Oh, and Rin-chan as a few choice words for you when she sees you next." I paled at that. Rin was probably the only medic I really trusted, but she took after Kushina and her hero, Senju Tsunade, _too_ much. If she had somehow found out about the injuries I sustained during the mission...

I gulped. The only thing I feared the most was Rin when she was pissed off about my medical state.

Even Kakashi was scared of her then, and he feared _nothing._ Or so he said.

"Come on, Haku, we should get your burns looked at." I started and reached out to grab Haku's arm. I was totally using the kid as a meat shield from Obito's kunoichi teammate.

Unfortunately Zabuza seemed to catch onto my plan and moved Haku, and by association Momoko, out of my reach. The glint in his eyes told me he meant to do it on purpose, and he fully intended to see me suffer. I was sorely tempted to sic my brother on him in retaliation.

"Oi! Who the hell are you?!" Obito barked when his attention was drawn to the two Kiri nuke-nins and one clingy retired mercenary.

Screw it, I was setting Nii-san on Zabuza anyway, just for the hell of it.

Flashing Zabuza a sneer, I turned to Obito, "Nii-san, this is Momochi Zabuza... and friends." My brother's goofy aura that he seemed to always emanate faded and his dark gaze turned steely. I always loved watching people around my brother when he went from an idiot to the hardened war veteran he rarely showed. It was a sadistic joy, but I reveled in their looks of horror and fright. I snickered when my team and even Haku inched a little away from the older Uchiha. Zabuza and Momoko didn't look all that bothered though.

Now for the icing on the cake.

"And he's the one who injured me." I added cheerfully, like the _helpful_ little sister I was. Quickly, to be _just as helpful_, I turned to Zabuza and introduced my brother, just in case he didn't already know him, "Peaches, this is my Nii-san, Uchiha Obito. Internationally known as the Uchiha Phantom or the Ghost of Konoha."

Wow, I never thought anyone could go white so fast.

Momoko was giving me a reassessing look, apparently she approved of my throwing Zabuza to the wolves. I only smirked at the older woman and winked. I fully intended to take responsibility for this. If there was one thing I wanted to see in my life it was Obito butting heads with Zabuza, even if I had to throw them at each other myself!

Unfortunately Kakashi had to ruin it all.

"Obito, Rin said that you're to drag Yanagi to her no matter what. Stop glaring at grouchy minnows and do what you're told before she turns her ire on _you_." Kakashi commented drily as he popped into existence with the help of a white puff of cloud beside Obito, his standard perverted orange book in hand, "I'll take care of the pest." He added belatedly and with much venom.

"Grouchy _what?!_"

Nii-san forgot his anger with Zabuza, or at least he ignored it, and snagged me by the arm. "Let's go imoto, before Rin-chan really gets pissed off." I struggled in his grip, but there was no escaping an escape artist like him. It looked like I was resigned to the fate of being dragged away to meet my doom.

Just before Obito could walk away, Kakashi said nonchalantly, "By the way, she wanted to see Team 7 and Momochi's brat too."

Yes! There was justice in the world!

^o^

Okay so the chapter is crappy and jumping all over the place like a jumping bean hyped up on coffee, my badness. I'm cutting this baby off before it gets any worse and because it got freaking long again. 14 pages is a good chapter length to me... SEVENTEEN IS NOT! Besides this chapter just a tie up chapter to end the Wave Arc and put Team 7 back in Konoha. And yes, I'll probably continue where I left off in the next chapter, at least for a little bit.

Momoko belongs to Sukoshi-NinjaFox'sBuddy, now nicknamed the Whim Friend. Seriously, Momoko was created on a whim in 10 minutes. All I had to go one was that she was boyish, a retired mercenary, and clung to Haku. Also, this chapter mentions Momoko using pepper spray. I don't know if it's going to bother anyone about being 'non canon' or 'too modern' but I distinctly remember it being used in the first movie (by Princess can't-remember-her-name-at-the-moment when Naruto bugged her for the autograph) so it shouldn't be too much of a problem, _right?_

And yes, this chapter was loosely based off Shipuuden Episode 180. I don't want to rush into the Chūnin Exam Arc so quickly so we'll probably be seeing some filler episodes in 'Sensei' plus some non canon events to include Uchiha peoples doin' stuff~ I don't expect to start the Arc (might not even start leading to it) until at least Chap 20. BUT THE WAVE ARC IS FINALLY OVER! Milestone One: Complete!

_**IMPORTANT!**_ _I've changed my update schedule a little, mostly because of the new situation with my Beta for Trapeze and Rule 3. Therefore, updates will be slightly slower and will go as follows:_

_Week 1: I Don't Want to be a Sensei_

_Week 2: Trapeze_

_Week 3: Rule 3_

_Now, I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things, and still trying to work around my new work schedule, so there will be some weeks were I either forget or can't update. Please be patient with me and I'll try to straighten things out quickly enough so you can continue enjoying reasonably regular updates._

**~A friend is the best weapon you can have in a battlefield.**

**UP NEXT!** _Welcome… Home?_

Flame Friendly!


	17. Welcome Home?

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.

**The poll is OVER! (at least in terms of which story has been chosen for the next story I publish, you can still vote on it but the poll is mostly a survey now). Anyway the winner of said poll is (not surprisingly) Akatsuki Senpai! In second place was Mask of Lies and in third was Life as We Know It. **_***However, that doesn't mean that they will be the next stories to be published after Senpai is. The remaining choices in the poll will be updated (or NOT updated) as I see fit.**_** Thanks to all who participated in the poll, and I'm sorry if your 'lucky horse' so to speak didn't win!**

Final Poll Results

Akatsuki Senpai ** 21**

Mask of Lies ** 16**

Life as We Know It ** 13**

Child Between Us ** 9**

My Not-So-Little Merman ** 9**

Matchmaker's Madness ** 8**

War on Konohagakure ** 7**

As Luck Would Have It ** 6**

Chance of Happiness ** 4**

To the Fullest ** 2**

Mission Impossible ** 2**

Changing Fate ** 2**

_**PRAISE JESUS, I survived! **_I don't think any of you realize just how bad a week I had; it was like suddenly I was the only person on the devil's shitlist. From job drama that you'd never expect (honestly how many of you can say you lost a job at a _bookstore_ because your boss was **arrested**?!) to cars that break down (not surprising on that front really) and finally ending my week with my computer resetting itself so that I lost all personal files: pictures, document, videos, games, _music…_ you name it– it was G-O-N-E. But God works miracles and I was able to restore my computer to how it was on Oct. 5th (server restore… I will love you always), my car was fixed in two days (and under $150, which is a miracle in itself) AND my up-and-down job is now under new management (with no criminal background)

Anyway, sorry for the long wait. As you can see: I had a perfectly good excuse.

vvv

Rin had generously decided to forgo trying to force me into a hospital and just told Obito to bring me, and by result everyone I had returned with, to Obito's and my house. Like my brother, I had a major phobia about hospitals more so than the normal shinobi, so Rin knew that the only way she could get me there was if Obito knocked me unconscious first. And I _would not_ be happy if I woke up there. Our small entourage marched straight through the Uchiha entrance gates with suspicious looks from the guards. The three of us Uchiha weren't paid any mind, nor was Kakashi who was practically an Uchiha in all but name and looks; but Hinata, Naruto and Zabuza received the brunt of every Uchiha member's narrow gaze. Whenever I returned their glares tenfold each person quickly found something far more interesting than the Hyuuga heiress, the Kyuubi brat, and a famous nuke-nin walking around.

_I_ was the only one who got to glare at them and get away with it!

I nearly cried in despair when I saw the crowd waiting around the house. Not only had Rin converged on the house, but Sasuke's entire family and Shisui as well. Itachi and Mikoto-oba I didn't mind, Fugaku could go to hell, and Shisui would most likely gang up on me with Zabuza if they were introduced.

Just end my misery now.

Rin descended on me before I could punch Nii-san for not warning me about my imminent doom, "Yanagi-chan! I've told you a million times, _a million times_, that your body can't withstand so much chakra exhaustion! You're going to kill yourself if you keep doing this!" For such a small woman, she had a large voice. No doubt earned from being the kunoichi teammate of two hardheaded stubborn mules commonly known as Kakashi and Obito. "And don't you dare tell me it's part of a shinobi's job like you did last time, this is the eighth mission where you suffered from it! I know you have above average chakra reserves, so how the hell do you manage _eight missions_ in _three months?!_ The expected amount for your chakra levels is only three missions in a year, a _year_ do you hear me?! Not only that, but Obito-kun tells me you passed out from chakra exhaustion _twice_ during your last mission! Well, what have you to say for yourself?!"

"Sorry mom."

In a joint effort, I received three smacks upside the head from all members of Team Minato for my snide remark. I sighed under my breath and idly rubbed my abused head as Kakashi and Obito joined in Rin's lecturing. Sometimes I felt like I had three mothers instead of two brothers and their teammate, it was ridiculous when Team Minato teamed up on me. Most likely this would end with me having a head trauma, a result of the trio smacking me every time I said something snarky, and the three of them arguing with each other. It happened every time and it gave me the perfect chance to slip away though.

Luckily Fugaku wasn't in the mood to hear three idiots ganging up on a poor defenseless girl and snapped, "Enough." Team Minato fell silent immediately, but all shot me looks that promised a continuation of the conversation when Fugaku wasn't there to ruin their fun.

Couldn't wait.

"Report, Yanagi." Fugaku ordered me. I glared at my clan leader, not in the mood for niceties. Why the hell did I have to report?! Fugaku-sama already had my post-battle report and the Hokage would be sending him a copy of Team 7's debriefing since it concerned the Uchiha clan.

He wanted a report? Fine, I'd give him a report.

"Uchiha Sasuke went above the line of duty and protected his teammate, earning himself the hallowed kekke genkai of our _glorious_ clan. Then he passed out from chakra exhaustion." Oh, you could taste the sarcasm rolling off me in waves.

Zabuza shot me a subtle knowing look, of which Obito caught and reflected it back with a 'Big Brother Glare' probably thinking it meant something else. Okay so I was lying when I said that Sasuke passed out, but I was not telling the leader of the Uchiha clan, Sasuke's own damn _father_, that the person who had made an attempt on his youngest son's life was standing right beside the duckass boy. Especially not when the three strongest Uchiha in the clan were standing right there, one of which being Sasuke's overprotective brother. Haku wouldn't make it a step before he was put through the most horrifying genjutsu he could imagine, sliced into tiny pieces, and incinerated to the point that his ashes were microscopic.

And he thought I was terrifying.

Grabbing my brother by his flak jacket, I reached for the inside pocket and snagged myself a piece of candy before he could do anything. Obito squawked and tried to take the sweet back, but I evaded his hand and popped it into my mouth with a grin.

"Yanagi! That was mine, damn it! You have you're own." Nii-san snapped at me.

I shrugged and said around the hard candy, "I'm pretty sure that brat Inari stole my candy stash I had on me. I need sugar before I go on a rampage." I grimaced when I realized that the confectionery I had stolen was strawberry flavored, but I didn't dare spit it out no matter how much I disliked it. Obito would destroy me if I wasted candy, especially when it was his favorite flavor.

My brother scoffed at me, "You let your candy get stolen? By a kid?" Funny, coming from the guy who couldn't even stop me from stealing his candy in plain sight.

"Well you can't blame me, I can't really protect my stash when I'm unconscious." Wrong thing to say, because that opened Lecture Yanagi About Chakra Exhaustion version 2; and this time Mikoto jumped in on the mothering too. I threw up my hands in defense and immediately started apologizing. I could get away with being surly when Team Minato lectured me, but I could never pull that shit with my aunt. Not without earning an earful from both her and Fugaku about respecting one's elders. I was really tempted to make the sign to ward off evil, but decided against it for the sake of keeping my head where it was.

**vvv 3rd POV~ Sasuke vvv**

Everyone else watched with varying levels of amusement as Yanagi-itoko began apologizing profusely once Kaa-chan joined Obito and his team in yelling at her. Sasuke felt very satisfied to see his sensei and cousin taken down from that high pedestal she put herself on, even if it was only for a moment.

Yanagi-sensei had been more bearable after Sasuke's brush with death, but only a little. She had gone from treating him like scum under her sandal to being slightly overprotective. Sasuke couldn't really blame her for that, she must have been feeling very guilty if it showed even the slightest. So he endured it as best he could, even if it annoyed him to no end. Kaa-chan and Itachi-nii already smothered him, and having Sasuke's normally grouchy sensei doing the same was irritating. He _expected_ Yanagi to treat him like he was any other genin, it was a refreshing experience from his mother and brother's babying or his father's negligence. Still, Yanagi was very arrogant, and Sasuke didn't like that. So he thought she was getting what she deserved.

Shisui snorted from Itachi's side, "How long do you think it'll take before she's forgiven this time?" _This time?_ Did this happen a lot? Sasuke hardly saw his two elusive cousins before Yanagi became his sensei. Honestly, he hadn't been able to recall their names at times. When Sasuke first asked his family why he never saw more of his cousins, they carefully changed the subject and he never thought of it again. He knew next to nothing about his cousins, Sasuke didn't even know if they were related to him on his mother or father's side! And he hated not knowing things.

"Hn. Two episodes of chakra exhaustion is enough to worry anyone. Even if they forgive Yanagi-san, I doubt Obito-san and his friends will ever let her live it down." Itachi-nii said quietly while casting an expressionless look at Zabuza standing a little further away. Sasuke could see the gears turning in his brother's head. The navy-haired Uchiha had no doubt that his Nii-san was coming to very accurate conclusions about Zabuza and his hand in everything. He wasn't called the genius of his generation for nothing.

Shisui followed Itachi's gaze and grinned cheerfully at the grumpy nuke-nin, "Yo! Kiri nin, huh? Odd seeing one of you in Konoha. Did you have mission complications with Yagi-chan?" When Zabuza gave him a glare, Shisui's grin took on a devious twist, "Oh I see~! Let me warn you though, Obito-senpai is very overprotective about his little sister. He might actually try to kill you if you make a move on Yagi-chan."

The revulsion in Zabuza's eyes amused Sasuke greatly. Sasuke had wondered if Zabuza was interested in Yanagi-sensei romantically. In fact both Team 7 and Haku had often discussed the possibility of their teachers being together, even Momoko seemed to agree that Yanagi and Zabuza liked each other. Not that they'd ever admit it.

"What was that?!" Obito's voice carried over from where he was cornering his sister.

Shisui actually cackled, loudly. "Once again, Obito-senpai's sonic hearing strikes! Better run, Kiri nin-san, Obito-senpai has a habit of attacking first and asking questions later... if you can still talk that is."

Zabuza shot Shisui a nasty look and Naruto was staring at the goofy Uchiha in confusion, "Eh? Who are you?" The blonde idiot asked, rudely pointing a finger at the older Uchiha.

Itachi's best friend didn't take offense though, Sasuke would be genuinely surprised when Shisui _did_ take offense over something. He was the most easy-going person he knew of, and Sasuke still couldn't believe that _Shisui_ was the strongest in the clan! "Why, I'm the great Uchiha Shisui! Nice to meet ya, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto looked surprised that Shisui knew his name, but the young Uchiha boy wasn't paying attention to his teammate. He was more interested in how Zabuza stiffened up and stared at Shisui with an almost fearful look. Even the mercenary Momoko looked more alert now, her eyes sharpening over poor Haku's head as she continued to cling to him. It made Sasuke wonder just what Shisui did to earn his reputation as being the strongest Uchiha. Now that he had the sharingan, he could know the secret. That's what Yanagi-sensei had told him during their first team meeting.

"Damn it, Obito! I swear I'll kill you!" Yanagi suddenly snapped and everyone not part of that particular conversation turned to see Yanagi glaring harshly at her brother, who's expression was an odd one of smugness and annoyance.

"Oh really? And just how are you going to do that?" Obito asked sardonically. Beside him, Obito's teammates, whom Sasuke still didn't know the names of, rolled their eyes.

There was a long moment of silence as the two hot headed Uchiha glared at each other before Yanagi threw her head back and announced loudly, "I declare another Prank War on you, Uchiha Obito!" Every Uchiha in hearing range, even Itachi, choked. It had been almost four years since the last prank war, but Sasuke remembered it very clearly. It had been one of the few times he remembered that his cousins existed, mostly because their pranks had been leaking out and fooling other clan members. It had gotten bad enough that Tou-sama finally ordered both of them to stop under the threat of being kicked out of the Uchiha Compound for good.

Behind him, Sasuke heard Zabuza muttering under his breath, "That's our cue to leave" followed by Shisui's loud cheerfulness of, "Allow me to escort you out! The Uchiha guards can be a bit nasty if you leave alone." Somehow Sasuke didn't think that Shisui was escorting the Kiri nuke-nins, and Momoko, out of the Compound by the kindness of his heart.

Sasuke debated if his parents would let him leave with Zabuza. He knew he was going to be in the crossfire between Yanagi and Obito when all hell broke loose and he wanted to get out while he still could.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

While Nii-san was still stunned at my deceleration, I turned to his teammates, "Are you two staying for dinner?" I asked, a complete 180 from how I had been acting only a moment ago.

Rin and Kakashi, however, were used to my mood swings. Kakashi shrugged his assent while Rin shook her head, "Sorry, I have to go check that Kiri boy before they leave. I'm worried that that eye of his might be infected, has it been bloodshot ever since the fight?" I would always be amazed that even when Rin was in the middle of lecture me she would notice an injury on someone twenty feet away. Must be a medic intuition or something.

I nodded, not at all offended that she didn't trust my skill at medical ninjutsu. _I _didn't trust my skill at medical ninjutsu, I only learned it because Rin was determined that I had the basics down just in case. "Yes. I hit Haku with a fireball and that caused his capillaries in his eye to burst. You might want to check his chest too!" I told Rin as she took off. She waved her hand to show that she heard, already calling out Shisui's name.

Mikoto rolled her eyes at all of us and shook her head, "Well if we're done then I guess I should start dinner for my own family." She turned that hard eyed 'mother' look on me and I had to suppress the shudder going up my spine, "Remember what I told you, Yanagi-chan." She practically growled and I was once again reminded that my aunt used to be a very powerful jounin before she retired to raise her boys.

"Yes, ma'am." I squeaked. The Uchiha matriarch smiled fondly at me and dipped her head in a good-bye before going to join her husband and sons. All four of the Main Branch family left quietly after that, and only Itachi-san bothered to say good-bye to his cousins. My eye twitched as I glared at Sasuke's retreating back.

Rude little brat.

Immediately after Fugaku was gone, Obito trapped me in a choke hold, "What the hell, ya little brat? Ya trying to get us killed by our uncle?! Don't you remember what happened last time?" My brother snapped at me.

I glared up at him, "It's your fault, you shouldn't have said what you did, bastard." I snapped.

"Yeah, well I noticed you didn't deny it!"

"_NO!_ I did not like Peach-boy in that way, you sick pervert! Keep you mind out of the gutter! Just because I act friendly with someone of the opposite sex does not mean I like them!" I snapped and dug my fingers in Obito's left side where an old injury slashed across his ribcage. My brother hissed in pain and released me.

I whirled on my two remaining genin, "Naruto! Hinata! Get cleaned up and stop gawking like idiots!" I barked. Both of them jolted and blinked at me dumbly. I rolled my eyes in exasperation and explained further, "Clean up for dinner, nitwits. Unless you have somewhere else to be, you're staying here for dinner."

Naruto immediately started whining, "Eh?! But I was gonna go to Ichiraku Ramen for dinner! I went through all that trouble for the coupon and-"

Grabbing his earlobe, I yanked on it to shut the brat up, "Having ramen after a mission is not healthy. I'm not going to have the Hokage jumping down my throat later on in life because you die on a mission due to lack of nutrition. You're staying for dinner and that's final." I snarled without any real anger in it. When I let go of Naruto's ear, he clasped his hands to the abused cartilage and danced around, howling in pain.

Hinata was pushing her forefingers together again and I reflexively swatted her hands down, "F-forgive me, Yanagi-sensei, but I… my Tou-sama… I mean…"

I rolled my eyes and waved her away, "I forget. Go on if your clan needs you." Hinata gulped and made a quick bobbing bow before fleeing like the devil was on her heels. I watched her go and hoped that the entrance gate guards wouldn't give the Hyuuga girl any trouble. They were a real stickler about visitors, even to the point that visitors had to leave the Compound with an Uchiha escort so they weren't heckled.

Grabbing Naruto by the collar of his jumpsuit before he could sneak away, I marched into the house, past the squabble that had started between Kakashi and Obito-nii. Honestly, those two were just a grown up version of Sasuke and Naruto.

...Or was Sasuke and Naruto a younger version of my brothers?

I deposited Naruto on the common room couch, where I could keep and eye on him as I made dinner, with a warning not to break anything. The brat didn't move, other than to cross his arms and sulk. I said nothing as I went into the kitchen, the brat would eat whatever I cooked without complaining or I'd kick his ass tomorrow in training.

After the mess of the Wave mission, I came to the conclusion that it was best if I started taking Team 7's training seriously. I hadn't expected to run into the problem of an upgraded mission rank so soon, and if this bad luck continued I had no doubt it would happen again. It was better to over-train the brats and let them be bored out of their skulls with D-rank than to have them die on a mission they were ill prepared for.

"Damn it… where is that-!" I cut off with a yelp when a hand appeared over my shoulder, holding the chili powder I was looking for. I twisted around to find Kakashi-nii giving me his trademark eye smile. Cautiously I took the powder from my adoptive brother while giving him a wary look. Kakashi was a neutral party when it came to spats between Nii-san and I; while Rin normally took the side of whoever she thought was right, Kakashi took the side of whoever the hell he wanted to win. And that depended on who pissed him off the most. His loyalty often changed several times before the warring between Obito and I ended.

Needless to say I didn't really trust the Copy ninja much when it came to pranks.

Kakashi-nii went to the other side of the kitchen to stir the Miso soup. I watched him like a hawk, knowing this wasn't just about pranking my brother anymore. Kakashi tried to avoided my kitchen whenever possible because he claimed I was a slave driver to anyone who dared enter; but it was his last sanctuary from Obito and Gai since they never stepped foot in the room. The kitchen was my domain and I didn't like trespassers.

I knew exactly why Kakashi was in here, and it had nothing to do with Obito being an idiot.

I peeked out of the doorway to where Naruto was sitting. Obito had joined my blonde student on the couch and was listening to Minato's son as he talked animatedly, waving his hands in the air and imitating explosions–probably talking about the Wave mission. Unlike Kakashi, Obito seemed to be enjoying Naruto's company if his wide grin was anything to go by.

Looking back at Kakashi, I debated on saying anything. Minato-san's death was a touchy subject for any member of Team Minato, but it was a personal issue to Kakashi-nii. Kakashi had known Minato-san longer than Obito and Rin; and even though all three of them saw the blonde Yondaime as a father figure, it was Kakashi that Minato practically raised.

"So did you ever decide what to do with Netsui?" I asked casually as I returned to chopping vegetables. Even the most oblivious person could see the way Kakashi's shoulders relaxed at my question. I was sorely tempted to throw something at the silver haired jounin. I was rude and nosy with a penchant to collect blackmail whenever I could, true, but I wasn't dense like my brother was. I knew when some topics were touchy and best avoided at all costs; having quite a few subjects I liked to avoid myself.

Especially when the other person had a very nasty mean streak that rivaled mine and my brother's combined.

Kakashi hummed from his side of the small kitchen, "Yes. I gave him a trial run, which he passed. He starts training full time next week. Also," Kakashi's voice turned a little colder, "why didn't you tell me that his twin sister was a fangirl? She wouldn't stop yapping about Sasuke-kun when I took her to Rin." He hissed at me.

I laughed, "Oh did I forget to mention that part?" I asked in false surprise then laughed even louder when Kakashi glared at me.

"What did Rin-chan do to you to piss you off?"

"Nothing. Really, it's more like what Nerai did to me. We know how Rin is when she's annoyed."

Kakashi-nii grimaced, probably remembering a few such instances. While both men on Team Minato had more leeway than most people when it came to Rin, she could only take so much of their incessant bickering before she started smashing heads together. _Hard._

I waved Kakashi away before he could say anything else, "If you're going to be in here, then set the table. And make sure you wipe it down before you do anything! I know how you and my brother are!" Obito and Kakashi were notorious for setting the table without cleaning it first. I always cringed at the thought of eating at a dirty table, but everyone always told me it was just my clean freak showing. I always responded by telling them to go to hell. It was my kitchen and my table. If they wanted to eat my food then they better listen to what I told them to do, damn it!

"Ugh! No, I'm not eating it!" Naruto whined half an hour later after I finally managed to wrangle my student and Obito into the kitchen to sit down and eat. Already I was regretting letting those two idiots be friends instead of hating each other. All they did was just bounce their idiocy off each other until it was unbearable. I had to actually threaten Kakashi with blackmail so he wouldn't leave me alone with Idiot One and Two.

Needless to say he wasn't very happy with me.

I laid my hands flat on the table and towered over the blonde brat, "Listen here, Dumbass, you're going to eat what I cooked or you can starve."

"Ha! You can't stop me from eating when I leave! I can easily go home and eat ramen!"

"Don't think I won't burn your ramen stash; and I am perfectly willing to blackmail Teuchi-san into banning you from his ramen stand. You can ask Kakashi and Obito how far I'm willing to go to get my way. Eat your vegetables, idiot, or starve."

"You're not my mom!"

My eye twitched. This brat was really trying my patience, "No, but I am your sensei and legal guardian. If I say jump, you say-"

Naruto cut me off, "Wait, really?"

I blinked momentarily in confusion, thinking he was answering me. When I saw that odd look of eagerness and hope in the brat's bright blue eyes I understood what he was asking. This was Naruto I was talking to, someone who had only been treated with disdain and neglect throughout of his childhood. Underneath that loudmouth idiocy facade he had, Naruto was really just a lost little kid who wanted a family.

Rolling my eyes, I sat back down with a scoff, "Duh. Did you even read the Shinobi Handbook? Law is that orphaned genin are automatically wards of their jounin sensei until they turn sixteen or become chūnin. Even if they have relatives, it's overlooked to prevent confusion and unnecessary conflict. The only exception is if the genin is part of a clan, and then they just become wards to the clan leader." Like Nii-san and I had been when our parents died. But both Rin and Kakashi had been legally considered Minato and Kushina's wards. Technically, Kakashi, Rin and I all had joint custody over Naruto; as well as his godfather Jiraiya wherever the hell that pervert was at the moment.

If a fight about guardianship ever broke out over Naruto, I had a feeling that all of Konoha would eventually be dragged into it.

There was a silence over the table as Naruto stared at me in astonishment and slight awe, which made me very uncomfortable. I wasn't a very affectionate person, and while I enjoyed glances of wonder because the person thought I was amazing, I did not like being _stared _at. I glared at him, "Shut up and eat your stir fry."

Naruto pouted.

"Get used to it, gaki. This is the way my imoto shows affection," Obito snorted. I glared at my brother but said nothing as he took a large bite of his oyakodon Donburi, his favorite food. Immediately Nii-san spat it back out and lunged for his water glass, draining the whole thing in one fell swoop.

Obito was a wimp when it came to spicy foods.

"YANAGI!" My brother roared and I took that as my cue to flee the scene until further notice. It might be best if I begged someone for a place to sleep for the night.

The Prank War had started.

vvv

"Alright, bratlings, time to get serious." I said the moment the last member of my students, Hinata surprisingly, appeared the next day. I felt an odd mixture of pride and annoyance when all three of them went white as a sheet.

...Maybe I was being too harsh on them...

_Naw._

I held up one bell, "If you get this bell by lunch I won't use you as training dummies for the rest of the day and I won't request the Retrieve Tora mission for a month." I was going to pull a classic Team 7 Sensei maneuver, minus the hidden teamwork message since I didn't have time for that bullshit. After all, what was this generation's Team 7 if I didn't force them to do the bell test at least once in their lives? I had never personally experienced it, but I knew enough from when Nii-san complained about it.

Needless to say I had their undivided attention now. My grin turned a smidgen more evil as I added, "and you better came at me with the intent to kill, because I'm not going to hold back." Cue the 'oh shit' looks on my _cute_ little genin's faces. "Ready… Go!"

They lasted ten minutes.

I casually eyed the slightly ruffled training ground with mild distaste. When Nii-san and I spared, on the rare occasion that we weren't at each other's throats long enough to _have_ a friendly spare, there would be at least a tree or two uprooted and several burn marks. When Kakashi-nii joined us, Fugaku was forced to reconstruct the demolished training grounds. And he was never happy about it.

But we were never as destructive as Itachi-san and Shisui. Fugaku actually _banned_ the two from sparing in the Uchiha Compound.

There wasn't even a broken tree limp from Team 7's rather pathetic attempt at fighting. It was a wonder how they had survived the Wave mission. I pinned each genin with a glare. "Up. Again." I barked and fell back into stance. Naruto wasn't the only one to groan as they climbed to their feet.

By noon I still hadn't broken a sweat and the brats _still_ didn't get close to the bell. And that was only because Sasuke and Naruto somehow got it into their heads that this exercise was no longer about teamwork but a pissing contest between two idiots. Even Hinata was starting to get frustrated with the two of them when I called time.

I was irritated enough by then that I bashed the boys' heads together hard to get them to shut up, "If I have to beat this stubbornness out of you I will," I snarled, "even if I have to tie you together!" Both boys winced in horror at the thought. Maybe it would scare them into working together finally.

Turning to Hinata, I opened my mouth to tell her how she failed the exercise and noticed her wide lavender eyes filling with horror. I grinned, sometimes it was just fun to traumatize kids. Not because they needed to face reality or because it was an accident, but it was just so damn _fun-_

It was hard to describe what happened next. One moment I was smirking evilly down at the shy little kunoichi and the next I was wet, as in soaked to the bone. And not only that, I was cold. If I wasn't mistaken there was an ice cube sliding down the back of my shirt, along my spine.

I fucking _hated_ the cold.

Turning around slowly I pinned my grinning brother with a deadly look. On either side of Obito, Naruto and Sasuke looked both horrified and amused at the same time. So they were in on it then. "...Obito..." I hissed through my chattering teeth. Steam rolled off my as the water evaporated quickly under my spiking fire aligned chakra.

Nii-san cackled something about revenge best served cold and chucked the bucket he had used at my head before poofing away. Only a shadow clone then.

But I was certain Sasuke and Naruto weren't clones. They might not be the instigator, but they would do in a pinch until I got my hands on that bastard.

^o^

Okay so it's a light chapter. I needed something to laugh at after all the drama of the last arc. I would have elaborated more but I got bored of the chapter about half way through so I wanted to complete it in a hurry before moving on. Sorry, I'm just in a writing rut I guess… I feel like all my writing is below par at the moment. Meh, don't listen to me. I've got a headache and am freaking out over a job interview thing. O.o

**~There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled!**

**UP NEXT!**_ Prank Wars: Revenge of the Siblings!_

Flame Friendly!

**VVV^^^OMAKE^^^VVV**

**Deadly Reputation**

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"We don't need your help." Zabuza snapped as the woman who had been yelling at Yanagi checked Haku's eye. The poor boy stood there awkwardly, trying not to blink as the stranger stared intently at his bloodshot eye.

Rin ignored the grouchy man's comment as she produced a scroll from her weapons pouch. She handed it to the boy with a smile, "Apply this salve to your burns twice a day. The ingredients are listed on the scroll so you can make your own once you run out. And don't worry about your eye, it'll heal on it's own!" Haku blinked at the kind woman, he wasn't used to people giving him something with no strings attached.

An arm snaked around Haku's shoulders and the ice user stiffened when he saw the owner of the arm was none other than the famous Shunshin no Shisui. Zabuza-sama had told Haku many stories of the Uchiha who made Ao, one of the best hunter-nins in Kirigakure, turn tail and run with little effort. Shisui was herald as being the Master of Genjutsu, praised even by his own clansmen. Haku didn't feel very safe with one of the strongest shinobi in Konoha standing _right next to him._

"Don't worry, Rin-san! My buddy Haku-kun will be fine, you can go back to yelling at Yagi-chan if you want." Shisui said with a cheerful wink. Rin rolled her eyes at the goofy Uchiha as she left the foreign shinobi with Shisui. He reminded her so much of Obito before the war changed him. While her teammate hadn't changed _too_ much there were times, Rin noticed, when he would grow quiet and stare off into the distance, probably remembering whatever had happened to him during the time he was thought to be dead.

Zabuza growled at Shisui for his familiarity, but didn't dare say a word. As infamous as he was to Kiri nins, there was little to nothing known about Shunshin no Shisui; other than his ruthless genjutsu and his frightful speed. Kiri shinobi were naturally fast, probably the fastest of the five nations after Kumo, but Uchiha Shisui had no problem catching any Mist shinobi that crossed his path. Zabuza didn't know how the Uchiha would react if he snapped at him. After dealing with Yanagi, who would react with harsh violence and an explosion of insults that made Zabuza want to blush, he was leery.

Shisui chose to ignore the former member of the famed Seven Swordsmen and kept his arm wrapped firmly around the awkward teenager's shoulders. Haku reminded Shisui so much of when Itachi was his age, so awkward and formal that it almost _hurt_. The Uchiha eyed the nuke-nin inconspicuously. Shisui knew from the moment he spotted the bandaged nin that he was none other than Momochi Zabuza, wielder of the Kubikiribōchō and known for having attempted a coup in Kirigakure. But Shisui didn't let on he knew; in his experience nuke-nin, especially those from Kiri, were a little touchy when it came to their missing status.

Shisui had enough scars to prove their oversensitivity on the matter.

"So Haku-chan, got a girl waiting for ya? Or did the lovely Yagi-chan scare her away?" Shisui inquired. Haku blinked in confusion, he didn't know anyone named 'Yagi'; the only name that came close was Yanagi and she- Oh.

"No, Uchiha-sama."

Shisui made a peculiar noise in the back of his throat, something that sounded like a gag and a croak. "What's with all the formality? Oi! Do I look like Fugaku-sama to you? It's Shisui, _just_ Shisui. I'm too young to be a '-sama', even a '-san'. Why, I'm younger than Zabuza-san!"

Zabuza pinned the Uchiha with a look. He didn't know how Shisui knew who they were, he even knew Haku's name and Zabuza had made sure not to let Haku's name slip out in the bingo books, but Zabuza wasn't all that surprised. Uchiha Shisui was a prodigy, not one of the average Uchiha prodigies like Yanagi was, but a genius that was on par with Uchiha Itachi, the famed Genius of his generation.

By then, the little group had reached the Uchiha Compound entrance. Shisui waved happily to the Uchiha guards, who dipped their heads in acknowledgment. Shisui pulled a face and leaned in close to Haku, whispering, "I even bribe them with sugar and they still do that." Haku's mouth twitched a little in amusement. In the month he and Zabuza-sama knew Yanagi they learned one very important fact: no matter how powerful, violent, grouchy, or arrogant any Uchiha was, they all had one thing in common and that was a sweet tooth.

With the exception of the oddball Sasuke.

Zabuza twitched in irritation when Shisui made no move to let go of Haku, or to leave them. Even Momoko was starting to get annoyed as the Uchiha continued to bother them. They both tried to keep it to themselves, due to their protective instincts over Haku. It was no accident that Shisui had chosen Haku to bother. Shisui had seen the adults' parental instinct over the fifteen year old the moment he saw Yanagi leading her little parade to her house, no matter how miniscule it was. Every little twitch they made was in preparation to protect Haku from any potential threats. That was why Shisui flung his arm over the boy's shoulders. If the nuke-nin or mercenary made a move against Konoha, Haku would be dead before the first civilian casualty.

Uchiha Shisui was a cheerful soul, but even he was not above murdering someone to protect his home, even if that someone was a teenaged boy with no heart to fight.

"Hey hey hey! You know, Momoko-san, you should take Haku-kun with you! Haku's gonna need some help fending off the ladies when he gets back. I don't think even Zabuza-san can help!" Shisui chirped cheerfully as he finally let go of Haku when they reached Konoha's main entrance. He pretended not to notice how the nuke-nin or mercenary's shoulders drooped every so slightly now that Haku was out of danger.

Momoko pretended to consider the Uchiha's offer, even though she had planned on it anyway. "You're right, I think I will!" She, at least, could pretend that the goofy Uchiha in front of her wasn't someone that could murder her in a blink of an eye.

Zabuza sputtered, "What?! No! Haku is staying with me!"

"Then you can both stay with me."

Haku blanched white, causing his burn marks to stand out even more than they already did, "Ano… why?"

Momoko flashed him a smile that could rival Naruto's, "Because you're the cutest little thing! I've always wanted a kid like you, Ku-chan!"

Shisui choked on his laughter at the nickname, but composed himself so he could speak, "Great! The three of you can be one big happy family!" He ended with a cheesy thousand-watt smile.

Zabuza glared at the man, he had given up any notion that Shisui wasn't anything other than a goofy man who had a frightening reputation. Zabuza would even go so far as to question if Ao was hallucinating when he said it was Uchiha Shisui that made him run and not some other Uchiha that no one knew about. Even the Ghost of Konoha, Uchiha Obito, while as goofy as Shisui, was also known for being vindictive and slightly arrogant. Shisui was just… _ridiculous_. "Tch. Idiot." Zabuza muttered under his breath.

He spoke too soon.

Shisui grinned even wider until his cheeks hurt, having heard the nuke-nin, "Unless your invited by the Hokage, please don't come back. Not everyone is as forgiving as Yagi-chan," Shisui's smile slowly died and he stared at the three of them for the first time with a serious expression, "especially when their precious people are injured by you." Shisui finished and pinned his sharp gaze on Zabuza. Obito-senpai had told Shisui what exactly the nuke-nin had done to Yanagi, and he would never forgive him for that.

Quickly as his glare appeared, Shisui replaced it with another smile before cheerfully wishing the three of them a safe journey and shunshined back into Konoha, leaving the three of them staring at the small puff of dust disturbed by his quick use of Shunshin no Jutsu.

Shisui returned to the Compound quickly, a smile on his face and happily greeting his clansmen with ease. He was Shunshin no Shisui and he protected Konoha from the shadows, even behind the shadow of a smile and veiled threats. He would never let anyone befall harm if he could allow it, especially those he considered closest to him.

^o^

Yikes, that turned out more serious than I intended! O.o I blame the first chapter of Akatsuki Senpai because the Shisui in that story is a lot more serious…

Review? :3


	18. Prank Wars: Revenge of the Siblings

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Nawp- nothing new, other than the fact that this chapter is basically written cuz I'm in the mood for some honest to goodness funny stuff and humor plain and simple. By the way, this chapter is a total light weight and is bordering on crack. Just sayin'

You know what's always bothered me? The chakra paper thing. More specifically, what happens to it when someone has an earth nature. I mean _why_ is Doton the only element that changes the paper's physical form?! Katon burns the paper, yeah I get that; that's what fire is supposed to do to paper! Suiton turns the paper wet, same thing that applied to fire applies to water. Raiton makes the paper crinkle, a little weird but still plausible. You'd expect lightning to do that. Fūton cuts the paper; again a little weird but if wind is supposed to be sharp and able to cut (*cough* WIND BLADE *cough*) then I get it. **Why on Earth does chakra paper change it's physical form into dirt for Doton?!** It's so against the laws of science that it's confusing even in the Narutoverse! Why couldn't the paper, I don't know, _change color_ or something?! At least then it would still be paper!

_So many of you have probably already guessed the pairing, and if not *SPOILER* it's either Zabuza or Shisui; but I won't tell you who exactly cuz I'm mean like that mwahahahaha. The reason why I haven't announced the pairing until now(ish) was because I'm not focusing on the romance in PTS. The fluff-n-stuff doesn't happen until deep in Shippuden (though I won't tell you when exactly. That's for me and very few people to know and the rest of you to find out!) So… yeah, happy reading my lovelies!_

Sorry for the late chapter, I was having Writer's Block on Rule 3 and my policy is to never skip an update of another story (mainly because I fear the readers of those stories would find a way to kill me if I did. Some of you lovelies are _vicious_.)

**vvv 3rd POV~ Sasuke vvv**

A girly shriek resounded all throughout the Compound, followed by Obito yelling for Yanagi. On Itachi's other side, Shisui barked a laugh, "How much you want to bet Yagi-chan shoved a beetle down Obito-senpai's shirt again?" Sasuke gave his brother's best friend an annoyed look. It had been one of the few times that Itachi was willing to spend time with him, and Shisui came and _ruined_ it!

Itachi-nii had told him once that Shisui used to be close to Yanagi and Obito. It bothered Sasuke even more not knowing _why_ his cousins and Shisui drifted apart. He suspected it had something to do with Yanagi-sensei. Both Shisui and Obito-itoko weren't the kind of people to drop a friend, but Yanagi definitely was.

Itachi shrugged at his best friend's question, "It's that or chili pepper again." Naruto had told Sasuke about that one. Somehow Naruto had ended up at Yanagi's house for dinner yesterday and she had dumped an entire container of chili powder in Obito's food as the first prank of the war. The next day Obito approached Sasuke and Naruto with a proposition for helping him in a prank, which they agreed to, stupidly.

Had Itachi-nii not intervened, Sasuke hadn't a doubt that Yanagi might actually have broken his arm the way she flung him around. Though she earned a harsh reprimand from the Hokage and Sasuke's father, Yanagi was back the next day throwing a bee hive at Obito's face.

It went on from there for the next several days. Pranks ranged from exploding flour bombs, which irritated Aunt Uruchi to no end since they had stolen her best flour, to elaborate pranks involving squirrels, super glue, and a healthy amount of some type of itching salve flinched from Obito's female teammate. There was even a rumor flying around that Yanagi had bodily thrown an Academy student at her brother.

Prank Wars between Yanagi and Obito were a serious business as well as an entertaining one. Someone, Sasuke suspected one of Obito's friends, had started a betting pool on who would win this war. Had Kaa-chan not explicitly told her sons to not bet a single yen, _or else_, Sasuke would have placed his money on Yanagi-sensei.

He already knew how ruthless his sensei could be.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

_Obito: 28 Yanagi: 27_

"Would you be quiet?!" I hissed to the two quarreling genin behind me as Obito came into view. Naruto and Sasuke blanched and finally shut their traps, they had already learned earlier this week that I was very irritable and quite violent if my pranks messed up because they couldn't shut their damn mouths.

Obito-nii passed Checkpoint One and didn't notice a thing. Giggling under my breath, my fingers slowly tightened on the ninja wire I held. the feel of it's sharp metal biting into the pads of my fingers was wonderful and made me almost giddy with the near accomplishment of my newest prank.

...Checkpoint Two…

...Three…

The thin beige covering on the pothole I had Naruto prepare last night gave under Nii-san's foot. I saw my brother pause and look down confused when seemingly solid ground collapsed. "Now!" I roared and yanked on the ninja wire, releasing the chakra-reinforced bamboo cage that Kakashi-nii had prepared for me.

Obito yelped when the cage landed, it's sharpened poles digging into the ground so it would be hard to get out. I knew it wouldn't hold him long, my brother was called the Uchiha Phantom for a reason, but it would hold long enough for the prank.

The one eyed Uchiha snapped around to glare at me when I stood up in triumph. "You think this can hold me?" He growled. Oh Kami, it was like Nii-san had jumped out of some cheesy festival play that Mikoto-oba was addicted to. I still remember being subjected to those horrors all throughout my childhood. Obito, Itachi and I all avoided festivals with a passion because of those dreaded plays Mikoto-oba dragged us to every year when we were young.

Sasuke, the lucky bastard, never had to face the horror of cheesy plots and drama.

I decided to play along with it, "May you rot in eternity, Nii-san, for your crimes against the public!" I said with flair and a poker face that made the ANBU masks full of expression.

Obito's flat 'you are so dead to me' look was beyond priceless.

Kakashi-nii landed beside me before I could disturb my poor brother even further, "We have a schedule, Yanagi, stick to it." The masked jounin reminded me.

I waved a hand, "Alright alright." I grumbled then raised my voice, "First wave! Forward!"

Out of no where, known victims of Obito's past pranks appeared, holding balloons filled with paint, glue, water, and oil. Kakashi and I grinned at the now terrified Obito; well I think Kakashi-nii grinned, it was hard to tell with that mask of his. This was what Nii-san got for tripping me, and Kakashi who had been walking beside me, into the Naka river yesterday. It had been an accident, but Obito made the foolish choice to claim it was a prank to break the tie we had been in for the past four days. In retaliation, Kakashi changed loyalties and together we planned the Ultimate (Flowering Lotus) Prank to End All (Youthful) Pranks as Gai had put it.

Kakashi-nii was ever so helpful to grab me and shunshin the both of us to a rooftop out of firing range. "Fire!" I screamed and as one, colorful balloons soared towards the poor little bamboo cage and the well deserving victim trapped inside. I watched gleefully as my brother slowly turning into a multicolored, gooey blob.

"Second wave! Approach!" I called out once the first wave was out of ammunition. This time it was Obito's friends, and their students, who showed up, sporting large bags made of burlap. These were filled with sand, glitter, flour, and chicken feathers. Genma joined Kakashi and I on the roof, a clipboard in hand, as Kakashi waved the second wave to start their attack. Obito's growling threats of recompense was music to my ears; sadly I had to ignore it in favor of Genma.

Several years ago, when the first Prank War started, Genma asked for neutrality from all our pranks in return that he be the Record Keeper; that way there was no dispute on who won the war. Over the years Genma's job slowly evolved into not only keeping up with the record, but also judging the pranks and awarding points based on creativity, ruthlessness, and complexity. He also kept up with the loyalties of Kakashi– which changed often enough that even Kakashi couldn't keep up with it– the irritability of superiors, namely Fugaku and the Hokage, and controlled the betting pool that always cropped up when Prank Wars started.

The senbon wielder looked at the scene below us, then at the two of us. "Kakashi is on your side now?" Genma asked. I let Kakashi answer that one and watched him with my sharingan activated. During the fifth Prank War, Kakashi had played the dirty double agent to sabotage my pranks. Since then I never really trusted him again, at least when it came to pranks. Luckily for Kakashi, I could tell he wasn't lying, otherwise he would join Nii-san in the cage and become target practice for genin.

Genma studied the scene below him with the intensity of a building inspector, "Hm… I'll give you three points, the ruthlessness of the prank is somewhat lacking. As is the creativity, I've seen you do better than that Yanagi-chan. But I have to give you credit for the complexity." Genma eyed me, "What did you do to get everyone to go along with this?"

I smirked, "Secret." I quipped. I would never give out my pranking methods any more than I would give away blackmail unless I got something out of it.

There was a small beep and Genma and I turned around to see Kakashi looking at a timer. He turned his single eye on me, "Time's up."

"For what?"

Instead of answering, the sneaky little bastard gave me his famous eye smile and jumped into the fray to release Obito. There was a stillness on the battlefield and my brother slowly climbed out of the cage, wiping off large globs of stickiness and flinging it at anyone close by. Then Obito slowly turned to glare at me. His single eye was glowing red with the sharingan.

Shit.

"Damn you, Kakashiiiii!" I shrieked as I hightailed it out of there. Nii-san was close on my heels and hands outstretched and fingers hooked, ready to catch me or strangle me I didn't care to find out.

vvv

_Obito: 49 Yanagi: 52_

I yawned as the Hokage went on and on about representing the shinobi population to the citizens of Konoha and how it was our duty to uphold and respect the citizenry of the village we protected… or something like that. I was just happy that the prank went as well as it did. There had been a fifty percent chance that the prank could have ended worse than it did. Honestly, what I had predicted as the best outcome turned out to be far worse than what actually happened.

Wasn't my fault that the oldest restaurant in the village, which was said to have been built by the Shodaime himself with the first Mokuton houses when Konoha was founded, went up in flames.

I got good points from Genma for the impromptu firework show though.

"…silly feud will stop now! I've indulged you long enough, but now that you are endangering the lives of this village it _will_ stop, do you understand me?" The Hokage ranted as he paced back and forth in front of my brother and I.

"Yes sir!" Obito responded immediately, his single eye forward and hardened with formality. Hiruzen-sama was the person whom Obito respected the most, after the Yondaime. Like Naruto, Obito seemed to think of the old man as a grandfather figure. However unlike Naruto, Nii-san knew that Hiruzen would first and foremost be our Hokage before he was a grandfather type and treated the old man with a little more respect than my blonde student.

"…Yes sir." I answered a beat after Obito, slightly rebellious and with very little respect. Mostly because I now owed money to Anko in a personal bet of who would end the War: Fugaku or the Hokage. The _one time_ I was expecting the Uchiha clan leader to end something, and the old codger didn't even lift a damn finger.

I hate my uncle.

vvv

"Okay, two D-rank missions today." I said as way of greeting once all three of my brats showed up. After the Hokage had chewed Obito and I out yesterday for the pranks, he practically threw the two missions at me, saying that they were special requests for Team 7.

Not only did Naruto groan, but so did Sasuke. "D-rank? We completed an A-rank mission, shouldn't we get better missions now?" I was mildly surprised that it was Sasuke who complained. But then, he was a cocky little shit and probably thought that since we survived an A-rank mission, we didn't need puny D-ranks anymore.

I pegged Sasuke with one of the scrolls, "Stop complaining! Team 7 was extremely lucky to survive that mission and neither the Hokage or I are willing to put untested genin back into that situation so soon." I didn't tell them that, because of the Wave mission, every C-rank mission was closed to all genin teams until they were verified on their true mission rank. Fifteen missions had already been changed to a higher standard and the clients fined huge sums because of their dishonesty.

Sasuke glared at me as he rubbed the side of his head where the scroll had hit him, but he said nothing. Naruto, however, wasn't so keen on keeping his mouth shut, "Yeah, but if they give us a proper C-rank then we shouldn't have a problem, right?!"

Boy was his logic flawed.

My last scroll hit home, right down Naruto's face. There was a second of stillness as his body teetered for balance, before the blonde idiot toppled over. Not a moment later, Dumbass sat up with a very amusing red mark dividing his face in half, "Hey!"

I gave him a distasteful look, "Team 7 is cursed with bad luck. Whatever C-rank we get is bound to go wrong. Hell, you can't even complete half of the _D-ranks_ without messing something up."

"Doesn't mean you can throw things at your students!"

"It's practice."

"For _who?!_"

"For you to dodge. That could have been an enemy kunai and you would be dead, congratulations. Now give me the scroll back. You too, Duckass." I countered dryly. Both came flying end of end towards me at a rabid pace, Sasuke's a smidgen faster than Naruto's scroll. I grabbed Sasuke's out of the air before it could strike me in the chest and let Naruto's fly over my shoulder to hit a random tree behind me. "Work on your aim too, Dumbass." I commented as I walked to retrieve the scroll he had thrown.

Hinata seemed to be tired of our antics when I returned to stand in front of them, "Y-you said we have t-two missions, S-sensei?" She prompted.

Mentally I ticked off a check mark. Getting Hinata to initiate a conversation: Done!

"Yes, and we're in luck!" My sarcasm was almost tangible, "The Hokage gave us two special request missions." Special request missions rarely involved D-ranks, and they were normally babysitting missions for teams that had a special handle for kids. I knew for damn sure that whatever the missions were, they couldn't be a babysitting mission. No sane parent would trust the Kyuubi brat to babysit their spawn, let alone two anti-social Uchiha. While it might be bragging rights to say that the Hyuuga heiress had babysat _your_ unholy imp it wasn't worth it to have the two walking disasters and their violent sensei under the same roof.

Sasuke scrunched his nose up in displeasure, "If it's the Capture Tora mission again..." At that all three of my genin shuddered while I laughed. There was nothing quite amusing as seeing an Uchiha scared of a cat. In fact, as far as I knew only Itachi had never been afraid of Tora. Even I had been when I was still a genin.

"No, but there will be cats on a mission. Nekobaa wants us to-"

Naruto cut me off, "No. Way! I'm not going to clean that weird lady's house again!"

"…Wants us to-"

"Not doing it! Go tell the Hokage that I refuse to go there again!"

"Dumbass, if you interrupt me again, I'll personally lock you in a room with Nekomata-sama and say you are a dog lover!" I snapped impatiently. Only Sasuke really got the levity of my threat, but Hinata at least got an inkling of what it entailed when she saw Sasuke staring at me in horror.

Naruto just shrugged, "Eh, so what? It's not like this Nekomata guy can do anything to me."

"Lord Nekomata happens to be the Boss summon of the Uchiha clan. And do you know what summon the Uchiha clan uses?" I didn't wait for any of them to try and answer, "Cats."

Now Naruto was understanding what exactly I was getting at. He gulped and laughed nervously, trying to play my threat off as a joke. I simply stared at him through narrowed eyes until he finally shut up.

"Now, as I was saying. Nekobaa wants us to come pick up the newest order and transport it to the Clan Compound. We'll be going to Sora-ku to Nekobaa's shop tomorrow and will be gone all day. That means that you have the rest of today to complete your other mission." I tossed the other scroll at Hinata, who scrambled to catch it.

"Wait, what about you?" Sasuke asked me.

I waved a dismissive hand, "I've got other things to do. By the way, if you screw this mission up, I'm signing all of you up for a very special training regimen." I smiled in such a way that Team 7 knew whatever 'special training' I had in mind would be torture for them.

After tossing training ideas around with Asuma and Kurenai, I learned that the best motivator to get the job done right was to threaten my brats with Gai.

It's how Asuma got his lazyass genius to do things.

Mock saluting my trio of brats I disappeared with a puff of smoke as I shunshined the hell out of there. Rin had announced that she would pay for any jounin kunoichi who showed up at one of the local hot springs. The fun part was she didn't tell us which one, only that if we didn't arrive by noon then she wouldn't pay for us.

Sometimes Nii-san influenced Rin too much, but I was fine with that.

**vvv 3rd POV vvv**

Team 7 all sighed when Yanagi-sensei disappeared. Sometimes it felt like she was only babysitting them and not actually trying to teach them to be true ninjas. In fact the only time she even bothered to teach the genin something, it was during the Wave mission. For the weeks afterwards, Yanagi was too busy with her pranks to even bother paying attention to her students and her negligence was starting to show.

"D-rank M-mission," Hinata read off the scroll Yanagi-sensei had given her, "B-babysitting." At that Naruto groaned. Hinata gave her crush a side glance, blushing, before continuing, "B-babysitting H-h-ho-hokage-sama's g-grand-s-son, K-Konohamaru."

Naruto stopped his dramatics and perked up, "Konohamaru? Really? Yes!" He cheered. This was a mission he could stand! Nothing like getting to hang out with his kohai _and_ getting paid for it!

Sasuke bit back a sigh. He could already tell that this was going to be a disaster.

vvv

"Hey! Hey boss! I'm appointing you the leader of the Konohamaru Corps! And your first mission is to find the red four-leaf clover!" Konohamaru shouted the second he saw Naruto.

Naruto blinked at him for a moment, then exchanged a confused glance with Sasuke, who only shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Sasuke did not pretend to understand younger kids. Most Uchiha children were treated more like adults than kids, and as a result they often had a more mature mentality than the rest of their age mates.

"What's this Konohamaru Corp?" Naruto finally asked, feeling like it was the safest question he could ask his little kohai. Even Naruto understood that there were somethings you were better off not knowing, especially when it came to Konohamaru.

The kid puffed out his chest and planted his fists on his hips, "It's a newly established renovation corps of Konohagakure!"

Naruto seemed to like that answer, he grinned hugely, "Oh? And how many members do we have so far?"

The scarf-wearing little boy touched his index finger to his chin as he pretended to think, then pointed up at Naruto, "Well there's you, the leader, and me, the lieutenant general..."

Naruto posed, "And and?"

"And that's it for now!" Konohamaru ended joyously. Naruto deflated like a balloon.

"What?! You should have told me it was just a game, dattebayo!" The blonde shouted.

Konohamaru continued as if he hadn't heard his senpai. Instead he was staring at the rest of Team 7 standing awkwardly in the doorway, "I guess they could join too."

Naruto squinted at the two genin standing behind him, "Ne ne, I don't mind Hinata-chan, but Sasuke-teme can't be in the Konohamaru Corps!"

Sasuke scoffed, "Like I want to… loser."

Konohamaru interrupted before a fight could break out, "Now, as I said we have a very important and dangerous mission! We must find the red four-leaf clover!"

"K-Konohamaru-kun… we c-can't do d-dan-dangerous missions. W-we have to baby-babysit you." Hinata interjected but Konohamaru waved her off.

"Don't worry! There isn't anything that can defeat Naruto-nii-san! We'll be fine!" If Sasuke was a laughing person, he would have lost it just then. Naruto? Unbeatable? Maybe against a fly, but then again maybe not.

Before Naruto could puff up at the lies, Sasuke did a very 'Yanagi-like' thing and bopped him upside the head. "We're supposed to babysit you, Konohamaru, not go off on a wild goose chase for some dumb plant."

The young Uchiha regretted it instantly when Konohamaru turned large watery puppy eyes on him, "Please, you don't understand!" Konohamaru bowed his head and looked at his hands, "There's this girl in the Academy. Her name is Yoshino Kaede and she's very cute..."

"So what's the problem?" Sasuke asked rudely. He couldn't stand little idiots with their ridiculous crushes, be they boy or girl.

Konohamaru sniffled, "She's leaving tomorrow..." He said dejectedly. "That's why I wanna get the red four-leaf clover. Because Kaede's friends said that if she got it, her wish to stay can come true and she can stay in the village."

"Alright then!" Hinata and Konohamaru jumped at the sudden outburst from Naruto, "Well go get that red clover and you can give it to the girl you love!"

At that Konohamaru went completely red. He never said he _loved_ Kaede-chan, just that he thought she was cute! With her teal colored hair and eyes and kind smile… a lot of the boys in the Academy thought she was the cutest girl in their class! And the nicest. And the smartest. And the one who brought the best sweets because her mother was a fantastic cook!

"Hold on! We're here to babysit him, not to go off on a stupid quest. Do you even know where this clover is?" Sasuke protested, trying to be the voice of reason. Unfortunately, Naruto was already sold to Konohamaru's plea and Hinata wouldn't take sides because she wasn't one to raise unnecessary conflict.

"In Akagahara…"

Sasuke deadpanned at the ten year old. "Akagahara? Really? You're going to risk your life for some stupid clover for a girl you'll never see again?"

Naruto gave his teammate the stink eye, "You know you're really starting to sound like Frizzy-sensei..." He commented before giving his best grin to the downtrodden Konohamaru, "Don't worry about the bastard, we'll get your clover, dattebayo! Teme can stay here if he's such a wuss."

A shiver ran up Sasuke's spine. He was _not_ a wuss! He just didn't want Yanagi-itoko after his head for not stopping the Honorable Grandson from being killed!

"Besides," Naruto continued, "Konohamaru will go after the clover whether we do something or not, so isn't better if we go along and make sure he doesn't get hurt? To babysit Konohamaru, we have to be _with_ him right?" Since when did Naruto become so manipulative?

Sasuke swore the dead last was hanging around Yanagi too much if he was starting to act like her. The young Uchiha opened his mouth, ready to protest the stupidity of their plan, when Hinata suddenly spoke, "N-Naruto-kun is right, S-S-Sasuke-san."

Now Sasuke knew he had lost the battle. He threw up his hands and glowered at the wall, "Fine. But I'm blaming Naruto when Yanagi comes after us." Naruto and Konohamaru waved away his threat, not even caring. They had gotten the sourpuss to agree to go! And that was all that mattered.

vvv

"Man… patrol here is always so boring. It's not like someone is ever going to get in..." Denryoku remarked as he thumped his sore shoulder with a fist. That new captain of theirs was a true slave driver. Not even Yanagi-taichō had been so brutal when it came to training, though she hadn't put Squad 18 through training since Ibo first joined it.

Ibo said nothing as he continued scanning the road for anyone coming close to the entrance into Akagahara. Denryoku felt sorry for his silent friend. Ibo probably was having the worst time adjusting to the new captain. Hyuuga Tokuma didn't treat Denryoku and Ibo like unique individuals the way Yanagi had, he treated them like soldiers that had no personality and he expected them to do whatever he asked. Yanagi had been Ibo's first captain, Squad 18 was the white haired Uchiha's first assignment and he had it extremely easy with the hot-tempered but understanding spitfire. Now poor Ibo was having to deal with an uptight Hyuuga who didn't take into consideration that Ibo avoided talking at all costs.

In Denryoku's opinion, Tokuma was more uptight than Fugaku-sama. Which was saying a lot.

Denryoku bumped his shoulder against his best friend's, "Hey, remember that time when Yanagi clobbered Shisui-san with the Spring/Summer Criminal Records Book of 37 A.K.E.?" The dark haired flirt chuckled at the memory. Oh it had been frightening at the time, because if was one of the rare instances that Shisui had actually lost his temper, but now all the Uchiha officers thought back on the incident with amusement.

Ibo huffed a little and signed with a single hand, _'Stop trying to cheer me up.'_

The other Uchiha pretended to be offended, "Me? Cheer you up?! Why would I do such a thing?"

This time, Ibo finally gave his quiet laugh. Denryoku could never understand how Ibo did everything so quietly. He was almost like a ghost sometimes, especially with that ashen hair of his. If Obito-san didn't already have the nickname as 'Phantom Uchiha', Denryoku was sure that Ibo would have been tagged with it. As it was, many of the officers called Ibo the 'Wraith' behind the young man's back. Even Yanagi often called Ibo 'Silent Spook' to his face, but then Yanagi had an awful habit of assigning demeaning nicknames to everyone.

Everyone blamed Obito for his sister's rude habit.

They also blamed him for her blackmail collection.

And her general surliness.

Really, it was always Obito's fault when it came to something Yanagi did.

"Anything to report?" Tokuma asked as he suddenly popped up out of no where. Denryoku silently cursed his captain's 'pop goes the weasel' trick.

"Nope. All clear, as it always is." Denryoku responded, his voice a little cutting. He had been in service for eight years, and had had three captains not including the Hyuuga, but this stuck up prick treated him as if _he_ were the newbie. Even Ibo, who was only on his fourth year and only had Yanagi as his captain, was still more of a veteran than the Hyuuga.

Tokuma's captaincy had practically been handed to him on a silver platter. The Hyuuga was on record for having the quickest promotion in history of the Konoha MP, and that wasn't a good thing. He had been an officer for a year before Fugaku handed him a promotion in response to the accusations of Uchiha promoting only their own. Which was a load of bullshit. Code of Conduct clearly states that an officer must have at least five years before being considered for a captain promotion. Konoha MP hadn't even allowed non-Uchiha to join for four years before people started complaining about the 'lack' of non-Uchiha captains.

And Fugaku handed the first non-Uchiha promotion to a wet-behind-the-ears Hyuuga because 'it brought the two powerhouse clans closer together'. What a load of bull.

The captain narrowed his pearly white eyes at Denryoku. For three weeks he had tried to win over the two Uchiha, but they were dead set on comparing him to their last captain, who had quite the reputation at headquarters. Ibo hadn't been as bad as his teammate, less expressive definitely, but Tokuma could still feel cold enmity from the silent Uchiha. Now he didn't care and just treated the two stubborn men like he would anyone else who treated him with hostility.

"Did you check the south end?" Tokuma prompted further.

The dark haired Uchiha rolled his eyes, "Yes. And Ibo kept watch on the road. We know how to patrol, you kn-" Whatever Denryoku was about to say was cut off when a dull explosion caused the fence of Akagahara to rattle. All three police officers whirled around to stare at the plume of smoke raising from inside the fence perimeter. All traps within the restricted area were motion-sensitive and there was no wildlife stupid enough to scratch out a living in a booby-trap invested forest. That only meant that someone had somehow gotten in and were now causing a ruckus.

Great.

^o^

So I was going to continue this, but it's 10 pages already and if I did I'd probably end up with 20, besides I need to really rebuild my stockpile and I can't do that if I have writer's block on this chapter. Yaaaay! Denryoku and Ibo make a reappearance, I think they're my favorite characters in the series actually… is that bad? And yes, their new Hyuuga captain _is_ a canon character. Wiki him, I dare ya!

So many people wanna know the backstory behind Shisui and Yanagi! XD Well don't worry, it'll come a little after the Chūnin Exams, you just gotta wait for that, cuz I still have a few chapters planned before we even start the Chūnin Exams! ;P Also, just warning/reminding you: since the story is from _Yanagi's_ perspective, there will be very VERY little POVs about Team 7's adventures throughout the exams, other than to show how things are different with Hinata on the team than Sakura. Sorry, but you're stuck with the snarky, sarcastic, and rude sensei of Team 7! ^^

**~You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.**

**UP NEXT!** _A Little Tough Love_

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	19. A Little Tough Love

Disclaimer: Nope don't own.

I should really acknowledge people for reviews and favorites, but I'm a very lazy person… SOMEONE MOTIVATE ME!

**Warning:** Most of the first half of this chapter is child-abusive… Unfortunately it's needed to start character growth, as much as I don't want it to be.

vvv

"Fifty more laps." I grouched when Hinata finally finished the third set of the day. Naruto took off like someone had just told him that there was a free all you can eat ramen buffet in Kumo, with his Uzumaki lineage and the Kyuubi reserves the boy wasn't even sweating. Sasuke gave me the darkest glare he could muster as he stumbled into a run behind the blonde, still going at a relatively good pace, but Hinata was barely walking.

Rolling my eyes I grabbed the hood of the Hyuuga's jacket and pulled her back. "You meditate." I told her and tried to make Hinata sit down, but she only shook off my hold.

"N-no… I can… do-do i-i-i-it." She said between whooping breaths. I narrowed my eyes at her. I wasn't used to this new Hinata, this was the second time she defied me. But I wasn't going to stop her, anything was better than the stuttering mess I had started with.

"Fine, but I'm not saving your ass when you faint."

Hinata took off without another word, she was only going as a shuffling jog, but she was still trying and that had to count for something I guess. I turned to my next task and glared hotly at the Honorable Grandson, who cowered in my shadow. "P-please don't kill me..." He stuttered.

I rolled my eyes, like I would kill the Honorable Grandson of the Hokage.

Too much of a hassle to hide from the authorities.

"You, pest, are going to write a formal apology to the Konoha Police Patrol that found you and my team _then_ write a report to the Hokage detailing what happened. And don't think about doing anything stupid, I'll read over everything before you hand the report to your grandfather _personally._" To prove my point, I handed him two sheets of paper and a pen, "You only get one chance for each, otherwise you join my Team in their exercises for the rest of the week."

Konohamaru seemed confused by that, "B-but..." He started.

"But _what_?"

"Bu-but Naruto-nii-san said that you couldn't do anything if we were caught. My grandfather will hear of this! Then you'll be sorry!" Apparently this brat wanted to die.

I leaned down until my face was inches from his own, "If you're stupid enough to believe that dumbass then you're more gullible than a sack of worms. And about as ugly and useless too. I don't give a damn if you're the Honorable Grandson, be glad I'm only making you write the apologies because I'm very tempted to kick your ass like I will my team's once they're good and _warmed up_. You want to be a ninja? Because I'll give you your first lesson for free if you want."

Konohamaru was quick to shake his head no and sit down to begin his apology and report. I gave him a pretty poor attempt at a smile, it was more of baring my teeth, "Make sure you don't get a thing wrong. Or you'll get your free shinobi lesson anyway." I threatened. The brat paled under his tan.

Good, about time he learned some respect.

I was probably going to get it for traumatizing the pest, but it was worth it.

Shithead.

I didn't even care that they broke the rules and entered the forbidden area, if they wanted to get killed on their own time then fine. It was the fact that they did it while on a mission babysitting the Honorable Grandson. Akagahara was one of the number one places enemy shinobi tried to infiltrate, hence why it was forbidden. Any person caught in the gated area was immediately executed without question. Team 7 and Konohamaru were extremely lucky that Denryoku had recognized Konohamaru or else they would all be dead and Patrol 18 would have been brought up on charges of killing the Hyuuga heiress, the second son of the Uchiha clan head, the Kyuubi jinchūriki _and_ the grandson of the Third Hokage.

It was a political nightmare just to sort out fill out the paperwork on the incident. _I_ was pissed because I had been dragged into it since I was the sensei and now was under scrutiny for 'abandoning my team' on a mission. Even though D-rank missions _didn't_ require the presence of the sensei, since they were considered 'baby missions' no matter what the chūnin at the mission desk said. But that small little detail was conveniently forgotten when it came to the issue at hand.

I was going to strangle that prick Hyuuga for bringing me up on charges.

Even worse, the whole Uchiha clan had been brought into the mess as well as the Hyuuga and both were now up in arms over accusations against each other. For what, I really didn't care. All I knew was that months of work bringing the Uchiha clan back under the Konoha banner was ruined and we were almost back where we started when the genin graduated.

And everyone was blaming me for not keep a better eye on the trio of brats. And Team 7 had been put on probation for three weeks. No missions at all; which meant Nekobaa was _not pleased_ because only Uchiha were allowed to handle Uchiha merchandise and the idiots that had been sent in Team 7's place lost half of the shipment. That didn't really go over well with Fugaku-sama.

I didn't mind the 'no missions' as much as everything else since I was turning that into my advantage as a way to take my ire out on them the whole team through harsh training. I was also stuck with Konohamaru, though I didn't know why. Probably so he could share in the punishment.

Well, that's what I was taking from it.

Once all three genin stopped in front of me, I immediately pointed to the ground, "Twenty push-ups, forty crunches, and thirty leg lunges. Go!" This time all genin groaned and literally dropped to the ground. I kicked dirt at them, "DO IT!" I roared and ignored their hisses of pain when the dirt got in their eyes.

I did not give a shit what they felt. If they were stupid enough to think 'forbidden' didn't apply to them, then they can suffer a little grit in the face.

Arrogant assholes.

"Konohamaru, join them!" I shouted, turning to the startled boy. He stared at me for a good minute before I pointed at the paper, "That character is written wrong. Twenty push-ups, forty crunches and thirty leg lunges, now."

"What?! But-"

"NOW! Do not ever question your superior officer. Now put your head down and start!" I snapped harshly, snatching the papers from his hands. I began walking away, crumbling the paper into a ball, when I heard a quiet sob from the boy. I whirled around, "Oh, are you going to cry? Did I upset you? If you're too much of a crybaby then maybe you should just forget about being a ninja, let alone Hokage." I mocked with a harsh sneer. Large tears were flowing down Konohamaru's eyes now. He was truly crying like the brat he was.

I grabbed him by his ridiculous scarf and shoved him to the ground, "Stop whining, you pathetic little rat."

"Hey! Leave him alone."

My head snapped around to glare at Naruto. Sasuke and Hinata had paused in their push-ups and were watching me, but only Naruto was standing and glaring at me. "Did I say stop? Start over–thirty push-ups, fifty crunches, and forty leg lunges."

Naruto's bright eyes glittered, "What do you want? Are you so cruel that you need to make little kids cry so you feel better? Why, you're nothing but a bully!"

"A bully, huh?" I mused, pulling my fury behind the Uchiha clan's standard emotionless 'I-don't-give-a-shit' mask. "Everyone stand up." Konohamaru jumped up quickly, rubbing an arm across his messy face, and latched onto Naruto like a leech. Sasuke and Hinata stood up more slowly, but they were giving me glares that were almost on par with Naruto's.

I stared down at them for a long time, taking in each of the child's face. Team 7 were scowling back at me, they were used to me enough that they felt they could get away with it. Konohamaru was sobbing quietly into Naruto's side while Naruto had an arm around him like he was protecting him from me. These four were only kids; kids who broke the rules and almost got killed for it. They needed to know that some rules weren't even allowed to bend without dire consequences.

But…

Somewhere deep down I knew that my harsh treatment was wrong, completely and utterly _wrong_. I was at a loss of what to do. The only way I could make them truly understand that what they did was not okay was to push them until they broke.

No that wasn't right.

I was taking my anger out on them, I wasn't even trying to teach them. For all they knew they were only suffering through my harsh torture because I felt like it. Because I had finally gone off the deep end.

"Do you know why I'm making you do all this?" I asked, more calmly now that I had time to ponder over my actions.

Naruto, however, hadn't calmed down one bit, "Because you hate us and you get a sick joy outta watching us suffer, `ttebayo!"

I glanced at Sasuke and Hinata to see if they agreed, the sad thing was that they did. Even quiet Hinata was turning rebellious, though after the hell I put her through I wasn't very surprised.

"And if I did, what would you do about it?" I prompted, folding my hands behind my back and waited for them to answer. For the longest time all of them were stumped. Even Konohamaru stopped his crying to peek at Team 7. I think they expected me to defend myself and say I didn't hate them at all, but it was all for their own good.

Or some gooey shit like that.

I didn't let them answer, "Some shinobi are batshit insane, and they might possibly be one of the most loyal ninjas you'd find in the village. There are nuke-nin that are mild mannered; but they betrayed your village's trust, so you still are expected capture them or kill them if you can't. I thought you already realized that no one can be defined as just being good and bad." Naruto and Sasuke winced, most likely thinking of Haku.

Hinata was still warming up to her new found backbone, "That doesn't give you the right to push around like you do." She stated in a calm clear voice one would expect from a Hyuuga.

Tilting my head I studied the heiress. Two months had passed under my tutelage and already she was more outspoken than probably ever. She wasn't even stuttering at the moment.

"No it doesn't, but again, what can you do? Go whine to your father or the Hokage? You're stuck with me, Hyuuga, like it or not."

"It isn't right!" That was Naruto.

"You're right." I think I just broke all four of their puny brains when I agreed so readily with the dumbass. I scoffed a little, "But then, when is anything we do right? I thought we discussed this, Naruto, back in Wave. It's all a matter of perspective."

"Since when is beating little kids a matter of perspective?!" Sasuke snapped. Inwardly I laughed at the way Team 7 was ganging up on their sensei.

"Did I touch any of you with the intent to hurt?"

"Don't play your stupid mind games, _Yanagi_, you know what I meant."

My eyes narrowed at the blatant sign of disrespect. Defending a child, I could understand. Standing up for oneself, sure go for it. That was always amusing. Disrespect in any form, even during an argument?

You've got five seconds to get the hell out of dodge before I tear you a new one.

"I'm not playing games. It's an honest question. Did I hurt any of you, physically?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice calm now. One more word out of my cousin's mouth and he would suddenly have proof that I was beating little kids like he claimed.

"You hurt-"

I cut Sasuke off before he could continue, "I didn't touch Konohamaru, I grabbed his scarf. Try again." Any ninja worth their salt knew how to hurt someone without ever touching them.

Before any of them could say another word I tossed four blank scrolls on the ground at their feet, "Training is done. I want all of you to write a full length formal apology to the Patrol that caught you in Akagahara. No copying from anyone else. Go." I started to walk away, having my own work to fill out.

"Why?"

I didn't care who said it, but it stopped me in my tracks. Why? _WHY?!_ Did they really not understand exactly what could of happened? Slowly I turned back around, my expression not angry as they clearly expected but concern, "Do any of you know why Akagahara is a forbidden area?" I asked slowly.

Four 'no's.

I facepalmed. I couldn't help it, in all my life I never met a group more dense than these idiots. Not even Obito could compete with _one_ of them! "Okay sit down, you're getting another lesson."

They all remained standing, which was fine by me. "Akagahara is on the border of Konoha, it abuts Training Grounds 44 and 45, which are the furthest training grounds from Konoha. It's also the easier area to navigate through. Guess what that means?"

Sasuke looked like he knew the answer, if his frequent paling was anything to go by. But of course that could be the fatigue catching up with him too. It was a 50/50 chance of being either.

"That means that Akagahara, during the war, was the most common way for intruders to enter into Konoha's surrounding forest. Once enemies got past Akagahara it was a cakewalk to Konohagakure." Now the rest of the team were turning white. Konohamaru still didn't get it, dammit.

I focused my gaze on the littlest brat, "Akagahara is still the used by enemies to get into our village." I explained slowly so his childish mind could grasp the concept.

"So? Naruto-nii-san and his friend could take them." Boy, talk about blind hero worship. My eyebrow twitched, this kid really wasn't getting it. I don't think any of the brats really got the grave circumstance they were in, truly.

I sighed, "Look, because Konoha knows that Akagahara is the easiest way to get in, we put a fence up and made it forbidden, as well as stationed a permanent patrol for the police force. That patrol has orders to kill anything that moves in Akagahara." I said flatly. There was no sense in sugar-coating it for an idiot as dense as the Hokage's grandson.

Now Konohamaru was joining his 'friends' in utter horror. And that wasn't even the best part.

"The reason why I'm making you write the apology to Patrol 18 is because if Uchiha Denryoku didn't recognize the Honorable Grandson, all of you would be _dead_. You four are some of the most politically sensitive brats in Konoha; can you imagine what Patrol 18 would be facing if they had killed you? The Hyuuga and Uchiha clans would be calling for blood, it might even boil into a clan war between the two. The Hokage wouldn't be any help as he would be biased over losing Konohamaru and Naruto. Many of the jounin, and even the Council of Elders, would be up in arms over Naruto's death as well." For all the wrong reasons, but I wasn't about to tell an emotionally neglected child that, "Hell, in a worst case scenario the whole village would probably melt down into total chaos, which would then prompt another Hidden Village to attack and might start another Shinobi War."

Silence reigned down on the brats as I let the new information sink in, they were finally understanding what exactly could have happened.

Hinata bent down and picked up one of the blank scrolls. She stared at it for a good minute before tucking it in her weapons pouch and turned to look at me, "I'll give my apology to you in the morning, Yanagi-sensei." She said calmly before leaving. If it wasn't for that ridiculous boyish haircut, I'd say that another Hyuuga was impersonating her; but Hinata was the only Hyuuga with that styled hair so it was impossible.

No one was desperate enough to act like Hinata to actually cut their hair like that.

Sasuke was the next one to pick up the scroll. He glared at the innocent roll of paper then at me and walked away without saying a word.

Naruto picked up both his and Konohamaru's, "Is that true? What you said about the jounin and stuff?" He almost sounded scared, as if I would say no just to laugh at him.

Dammit I was hoping he wouldn't ask that, "Yes." Let him come to his own false conclusion that they actually cared for him as a person and not the ultimate weapon of the village. I wasn't going to be the one to break his heart. I was an unpleasant woman, hell even I'd readily admit to being a bitch; but I wasn't inhuman.

I left without another word.

vvv

"Thought I'd find you here." Someone said behind me. I grunted and poured myself another helping of Awamori. If I remembered correctly the person talking was normally more cheerful and I wasn't supposed to talk to him.

Well screw it, I talk to who I want.

Shisui sat down beside me and pulled the bottle of Awamori towards him to read the label, "Thirty-eight percent alcohol? Wow you _must_ be depressed this time." I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"Shu'up." I slurred angrily and tried to yank the bottle out of his grasp, but only succeeded in nearly toppling off the bar stool. If Shisui hadn't reached out with his free hand and grabbed my elbow I'd be on the floor.

"I think you've had enough tonight. Time to go home." He said and gently pried the alcohol dish from my fingers before setting it down. As Shisui stood, I just continued to stare at the remaining liquid in the glass. It looked so graceful, swirling slowly in the shallow dish as the light directly above reflected off of it.

"`M a 'orrible sen'ei, ain't I?" I whispered.

Shisui didn't immediately answer as he slowly eased me up on his back. I took his silence to be a 'yes'. I was the worst sensei on earth, that scum that Nii-san always talked about. I could blame my team and Konohamaru all I wanted, but in reality I was the only person to blame. If I was a better teacher I would have warned the kids why that place was avoided, and I sure as hell wouldn't traumatize them when I was told about it.

Shisui tsked and readjusted his grip on my legs as he walked out of the seedy bar he had found me in. Apparently I had been thinking out loud, "You're not the best sensei out there, but I wouldn't write you off as scum yet, Yanagi-chan. And how were you to know those kids were foolish enough to go to Akagahara?" Damn man. Why was he always so _cheerful_ and _optimistic_?!

Stupid Shisui and his stupid reasoning. I pressed my cheek into the back of his shirt and pouted. Why was it stupid Shisui that found me? Why couldn't it be some other officer that I didn't know who wouldn't try to give me a stupid pep talk as he brought me home?

"You smell." I mumbled after a pregnant pause.

This time Shisui laughed softly. I couldn't help but smile a little at his chuckle. That's just how it was; whenever Shisui laughed people couldn't help but smile or laugh with him. It was almost like his laughter was a spell for happiness. "You're one to talk, Yagi." He returned.

I pouted again, "…Di'nt say it was _bad._" Shisui always smelled like freshly turned earth and crushed grass with only the faintest undertone of metal. The scent brought up memories of long past summers spent sprawling on the ground after hours of sparring together. If I closed my eyes I could almost imagine us being silly teenagers again, and Shisui was carrying me home because I was tired from a day of endless spars and not because I was intoxicated.

But that was before the drama of the Uchiha coup, and when I opened my eyes that perfect rosy scene faded back into harsh reality. My already depressed mood sunk even lower and I almost felt like crying.

Shisui seemed to pick up on my mood, "Is Yagi-chan _complimenting_ me?! The world must be ending!" He said in a dramatic flair. It was a desperate attempt to take my mind off of other things. Sadly it didn't work.

"Shaddap, Eyelashes." I said in all seriousness, though I did appreciate that he was trying to cheer me up.

"I haven't heard that nickname in forever. You must _really_ be drunk." The only other curly haired Uchiha commented.

I didn't respond immediately. I was thinking the circumstances over and I wasn't liking the conclusion I was coming to, "How much trouble am I in?" I finally asked, resigning myself to my fate. I knew from the second I first forced Team 7 into that harsh training that there would be repercussions. Really bad ones at that.

Shisui turned serious, only further proving that I was in deep shit. If _Shisui_ was serious then I was definitely in trouble, otherwise he would try to reassure me that everything was alright and I was just being ridiculous.

"Not all that good. Fugaku-sama and Hyuuga-sama are definitely not pleased, and neither is the Hokage." Shisui relayed calmly. I simply laid my forehead against his shoulder. I saw that one coming by a mile. But oh did it get worse, "What with you having not been with your team when they were caught in Akagahara and now this… Hyuuga-sama is calling for your permanent resignation from the shinobi forces."

That managed to get through my foggy brain. I jerked my head back in surprise and immediately regretted it when the pounding headache cropped up in retaliation. "Wha-?! He can't do that!" I snapped, my words clear and forceful. Only the Hokage or my clan leader could force my resignation.

Shisui hefted me up further on his back and gave me a look over his shoulder for nearly waking up the neighborhood, "That's what Fugaku-sama said and the Hokage agreed; which is why you have an appointment with Yamanaka Asao tomorrow morning at ten."

I groaned and dropped my head back onto Shisui's shoulder. Yamanaka Asao, or as I called him Ass-ao, was the Uchiha clan's personal therapist. Every clan had their own Yamanaka therapist who was informed of almost every clan secret to avoid having said secrets accidentally leaking out during a session.

Our Yamanaka had a standing appointment with any Uchiha that activated their sharingan; so he could make sure that the stupid Curse of Hatred didn't crop up. Only Itachi and Shisui were exempt because of they were exceptions to every single Uchiha cliché known, the lucky bastards. Hell, even _Kakashi_ had to visit Asao because of his borrowed sharingan.

Asao, on top of his normal duties as a therapist, was also the clan's standard medic because Uchiha's were utterly hopeless when it came to medical ninjutsu; I was considered the best in the clan at medical ninjutsu and to any other medic _I_ was considered utterly hopeless. Most clansmen found their own medic though.

Because Yamanaka Ass-ao _also_ happened to be one vindictive little shit.

"If Asao-san diagnosis you as mentally unstable than Fugaku-sama will demote you to being a secretary in the police force and the Hokage will assign another jounin to your team." Shisui added, almost sounding regretful. I didn't blame him, I could handle losing my team, maybe, but _secretary_?!

I'd rather walk into Kumo and offer to be their Sharingan breeding cow.

"Jus kill me now." I grumbled into Shisui's shirt. Like I said, Asao was a vindictive asshole and he found fault in every Uchiha. When asked if the Nidaime or Ass-ao was more spiteful towards the Uchiha clan, Asao would win hand down every time. I wouldn't put it past that worm to say I was mentally ill just so there would be 'one less Uchiha on active duty'.

Shisui gave an exasperated sigh, "Asao wouldn't do that."

I must have been talking out loud again. Stupid drunkenness. "Like you know. You don' `isit Asao, you don' know what he like."

My escort home, if you could call him that, stayed silent for a good while before asking in a resigned voice, "Want me to come with you tomorrow?" Why'd he have to sound so reluctant? I wasn't that bad, was I? Maybe to my team but I just normally ignored Shisui, wasn't like he ever minded or nothing.

"Naw, I won' like ya to'arrow."

"Oh, but you like me now?"

"…Shu'up and ge' me home." I said, blatantly avoiding the question. Shisui was my friend tonight. Tomorrow, he would be that goofy idiot that I ignored. Shisui laughed and laughed at my response though, and that made me feel just a bit better.

vvv

Nii-san was pounding on the bathroom door, "Yanagi! Get your ass in gear, your appointment is in ten minutes!" Hypocrite. It was perfectly fine for _him_ to be late five hours, but kami forbid that I be late by a second.

"Like that ass Asao would fail me if I was a minute late." I snapped back as I tried to pull my rebellious hair up in it's standard high ponytail. Unfortunately I had made the mistake of going to bed with it still wet from my shower last night–forced by Nii-san because he 'wasn't going to have the house reek of alcohol'–and that meant my hair was ten times as unruly than normal. Baring my teeth at my reflection in frustration I dropped my arms and let the dark brown coils fall loosely down my back. It wasn't like I was going to be doing anything today that required my hair being up. The meeting with the Yamanaka would take up most of the day and then there was nothing until the evening; Mikoto-oba had invited Obito and I to have dinner and she had _strongly_ suggested that we be there.

When Mikoto suggested anything, you had better do it or you'd discover the reason why she had been called the Terror of Genyo Pass in the Third War.

Giving up on my hair I stormed out of the bathroom, past my brother, and grabbed my sunglasses. "See you tonight, and you better not be late this time. I'm not making any excuse, you can just try to explain it to our aunt yourself." I threatened as I headed for the door. Obito followed behind me, absently reassuring me as he flopped down on the living room couch with his daily dose of porn in hand.

Disgusting.

Even with the sunglasses on, my eyes still watered at the brightness of the outside world. I wasn't as hungover as I thought I'd be, but it was still enough to feel the symptoms. Luckily, as a kunoichi, being hungover wasn't as bad as to what a civilian might feel. With the amount of alcohol I had consumed last night, a civilian might be in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. Instead, due to chakra boosting a ninja's metabolism to a much higher rate than average, I was only mildly hungover. It was both a blessing and a curse. Shinobi had no problem sliding back into the swing of things the next day, even if they had passed out the night before; however it took them much longer to get inebriated.

As soon as my eyesight cleared I turned straight around and stalked back into the house, "Nii-san! What is that… _thing_ doing out there?!" I yelled at my brother.

Shisui poked his head in the doorway, "Thing? I'm hurt, Yagi-chan." I glowered at him. If the door didn't swing outward I would have tried to slam it closed on his head.

My brother chortled quite evilly, "My kohai offered to escort you. He said you expressed to being worried about Asao last night when he brought you home. Just have her at the Main House by six, Shisui-kun."

"Can do, senpai!" Shisui chirped, giving my treacherous older brother a two fingered salute.

"Wha-?!" I squawked, but didn't get to finish as Shisui grabbed me by the waist and physically dragged me out of my own home. The last thing I heard was Obito yelling at me to let go of the door frame before I broke it.

I nearly fell over, disoriented and confused at the sudden change in footing. A hand reached out to steady me but I swatted it away with a vengeance and took a step back to find my balance. I gave the very smug looking Shisui my best stink eye for that stunt he had just pulled. Stupid shunshin master, I hadn't even felt him build up chakra! That was just being too good at your favorite jutsu if you asked me.

Shisui's smug smile turned into a pout, "I thought we were over all this, Yagi-chan." He said and turned those damn puppy eyes of his on me. I glared back; being a master of that look myself I was immune to it. And when the hell did he get that notion anyway? I was flat out drunk last night, and drunk people do stupid things they normally wouldn't do.

Like talking to someone whom you've sworn never to speak to again for the rest of eternity.

Instead of answering, I turned on my heel and stormed away. I only got maybe three feet before Shisui caught up to me with his longer stride, "Oi oi oi, ya know the word 'escort' normally means that they're walking _with_ you, right?" I simply gave him the universal one finger sign of 'go away'.

Like always, Shisui didn't react, he only shrugged it off with a grin. There had only been three instances when I had truly pissed Shisui off. Once was when I confronted him about the reason for which I now ignore him, another was when I bashed a criminal records book over his head, and the third was only last year when I had tossed one of Nekobaa's cats at his face.

Shisui is allergic to cats.

Thankfully Shisui seemed to understand that we were back to Square One in which I ignored him no matter what he said or did. For several minutes we walked causally in blissful silence. Well, I stalked down the streets, with a look on my face that made bystanders scramble to get out of my way; and he just strolled in the wake I left.

"I like your hair down like that."

Damn it.

**vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv**

"Hey where's Frizzy-sensei?" Naruto asked, sitting up from where he had been lounging on the ground.

Sasuke gave his dumbest teammate a look, "She hasn't arrived yet." Mentally the Uchiha hoped she never arrived. Hopefully the meeting that Tou-san had gone to late last night was so that Yanagi was removed from being their sensei.

"But, it's been four hours since she told us to meet here, and Sensei is never late." Naruto knew that for a fact. He had once staked out their training grounds for the night, determined to beat Yanagi at the internal, unspoken 'get there before Sensei does' game Team 7 seemed to have. Somehow she must have realized what he was doing, because she had stayed there that night just so Naruto couldn't show her up.

Stupid Yanagi-sensei and her overzealous competitiveness.

"So what?"

"So… don't you think it's weird that the Time Machine Jounin is late?" Sasuke honestly didn't know how Naruto came up with the variety of nicknames he had for their sensei. And Sasuke _definitely_ didn't want to know about the nicknames the dobe had for him.

"She probably got demoted and taken off the team. Tou-san had a late night meeting with the Hokage after I told him what happened yesterday."

"T-t-that's right… M-m-my O-Otou-sama did the s-s-same." Hinata added. Both males glanced at their stuttering teammate, each with their own levels of concern. Ever since the Wave mission they had noticed that Hinata's stutter had decreased, almost to the point that she didn't stutter at all unless talking to Naruto– though only Sasuke noticed that part. After yesterday's torture lesson, Hinata likely had regressed back into her old habits.

Naruto turned back to the matter at hand, "Yeah, and where is Konohamaru anyway? He's supposed to be with us." The blonde's blue eyes widened in fear and he leaned in, "You don't think… she killed him, do you?"

Sasuke sighed in exasperation and hung his head. If Naruto kept his stupid rumor mongering, every child in Konoha would think his cousin was some kind of monster that hid under the bed and ate little kids for dessert. Konohamaru's classmates already thought that Yanagi was some kind of vampire; Sasuke had heard his younger relatives talking about how to 'excise' her.

Before Sasuke could find the patience to answer his lummox of a teammate, someone else did. "While I wouldn't put it past her, Yanagi-chan has more finesse than that. You'd never be able to pin it on her, at the very least."

All of Team 7 looked high up in Yanagi's favorite tree, past her normal branch, where a grey haired masked man lounged, his nose in a small orange book that both Sasuke and Hinata recognized and dreaded immensely. Sasuke recognized him as one of Obito's teammates.

"Eh?! Who are you?!" Naruto shouted and rudely pointed up at the older man.

The stranger turned to look at the three genin and his only visible eye tilted in an odd way so that it gave the impression that he was smiling, "I'm your sensei for the day, while Yanagi is out… sick."

"Well you're late! Frizzy-sensei said never to be late!"

"Maa… a black cat crossed my path so I had to take the long way around."

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

Asao hummed as he pretended to scribbled some shitty notes down. I had a suspicion that he was just doodling. He didn't stop 'writing' even when I had stopped talking for several minutes. I already knew that the little worm wasn't listening to me. For almost ten minutes I had called him every insult under the moon and he didn't so much as twitch.

Being a relatively regular patient of his, I knew that Asao was _not_ that thick-skinned.

"And how would you say that makes you feel?" He questioned in that stupid condescending 'I'm the doctor here and you're the nutty patient' voice he always used. Even when he wasn't on duty. I had the misfortune of running into the asshole when I was taking a message to Yamanaka Inoichi, that was just his default tone.

It was so nauseating I wanted to throw up.

"Like I wanna strangle something." I said dryly and looked out the ridiculously small window, which also happened to be barred. Nothing like having to talk about your repressed _feelings_ in a room that felt like it was a refurbished prison cell.

And honestly, they could have just left the cell like it was, since the 'redesign' sucked.

Ass-ao's sandy head whipped up from his notepad and he pinned me with a look, "Are you feeling violent now, Uchiha-san?"

Oh please, _that_ he heard?! Now I was sure he was just waiting for me to say some shit like that so he could write me off as mentally unstable.

Like I said: _vindictive_ _asshole._

"No. I'm feeling oddly calm, like I've just had a spiritual purge of all the negative energy within my system. Please, O Great Guru of the Mystic Beings, continue your instructions so that I may become one with the universe like you." Finally I got a twitch from the pompous bastard.

"Sarcasm doesn't become you."

"Oi! I'm the queen of sarcasm, don't insult me!"

"I thought you were the Blackmail Queen."

"Well a queen can have two titles, dipshit."

"Do you see yourself as a queen? Do you have feelings of superiority over others?"

I threw my head back with a great groan. Trust a Yamanaka to turn a simple sentence into some insight on a damn nonexistent mental disorder. I'd hate to be a Yamanaka, it would get very old very quickly if I felt the need to psychoanalysis every word said to me.

"I'm a damn Uchiha, of course I have a superiority complex; because it sure as hell isn't an inferiority complex." I snapped back. It seemed that every Uchiha suffered through one of the two mental states to some degree. They either felt like they were a gift from Kami or that they were worthless trash that no one cared about. Unless you were _balanced _people like Itachi and Shisui.

"Do you feel superior to me?"

"Do you _really_ want me to answer that question?"

There was a moment of silence then: "…No. Let's move on."

Thought so, jackass.

**vvv 3rd Person vvv**

"Man, this new sensei sucks! He just gave us some stupid missions and followed us around all day reading! He didn't even try to teach us anything!" Naruto complained as Team 7 left the Missions Desk Office at the end of their day.

"You'd rather run around a training field all day with our psychotic old sensei trying to emotionally break us every second?" Sasuke asked sarcastically. He didn't like the new sensei either, Kakashi he had learned, but he was still loads better than Yanagi-sensei.

Naruto squinted at the mention of yesterday, "Well, no. But Frizzy-sensei normally isn't so… uh… evil. She's kinda funny when she's not yelling at us."

Behind the two boys Hinata nodded, though neither saw it.

"When isn't she yelling at us?"

"When she's yelling at someone else," Naruto returned quickly. He paused for a moment then added in a mischievous tone, "her nicknames are really funny actually… Duckass."

Sasuke shot his stupid teammate a dark look, "Her nicknames are _not_ amusing at all, they're insulting." He stated firmly.

"Oh come on! Don't tell me you weren't a little amused by 'Peach-boy'! Calling someone as strong as Zabuza that is just hilarious."

"I'm surprised you even know that word."

"Oi!"

"G-g-guys, let's not f-f-f-fight." Hinata interjected before either boy could warm up to the argument that was starting. When the team was first formed, Yanagi-sensei had given the job of maintaining order to Hinata; and she was just finally starting to be confident enough to try and mediate between Naruto and Sasuke's fights.

Both boys glanced back at their shy teammate and then at each other. Though neither would admit it, they were both in agreement that they had to watch out for Hinata since she was so shy and fragile. She didn't know it, but she could probably order them to do almost anything and they would do it without complaining because it was _Hinata_. They felt the need to protect her from everything; from chaotic cats to their insane sensei.

"Training?" Naruto prompted, changing the subject. Yanagi-sensei had beat into them pretty early on that they had better train sometimes in their downtime, or training with her would be utter hell.

And they had already gotten a taste of Utter Hell; there was no reason to try and seek it out.

Sasuke shook his head, "Kaa-chan wants me home before dinner. Something about someone having dinner with the family." He explained. In reality he'd rather train with Naruto. They had actually been a decent team on the Wave bridge and he wanted to see if they could hone their skill.

Hinata hesitated, not liking being put on the spot. She would love to train with Naruto, but she was concerned that she might faint if it were just Naruto and herself. "I-I can… but only for a h-hour, N-Naruto-kun." She finally decided. She didn't think she would be any help, but Naruto seemed to think otherwise.

He brightened, "Great! You can help me with that silent technique Frizzy-sensei taught you! Come on!" And with that Naruto grabbed the bright red Hinata and practically dragged her away. Sasuke watched amused and feeling only slight pity for Hinata. His female teammate was in no condition prepared to deal with the hyperactivity that Naruto consistently exuded; but if she was determined to keep that crush of hers, she might as well learn how to deal with it.

**vvv Normal POV vvv**

"Well look at the bright side, Yagi-chan…" Shisui tried to cheer me up as we walked back to the Uchiha Compound, "Asao-san didn't say you were mentally unstable."

I crossed my arms with a scowl. Ass-ao might have cleared me of being batshit insane, but he _did_ diagnose me as emotionally repressed, with a superior complex in general, anger management issues, and a plethora of tragic memories that possibly lead to all of said conditions. I was suspended for three weeks to see professionals to take care of my issues; and if I failed to show to the people that Asao recommended I'd be suspended indefinitely until I did see them.

Although the anger management issue came from when I threw a chair at the bastard's face for bringing up Obito's temporary KIA status during the Third War.

Really, he was asking for that one though.

"Ah well. Here we are, Yagi-chan, I delivered you safely to the Main House!" What do you want, a medal? "I had fun today, Yagi-chan. We should do this more often… though it's better when your drunk." Shisui added teasingly. I tried to punch him, I really did, but he seemed to know exactly what I was going to do for he utilized the shunshin jutsu to get away and my fist went through the air where his gut had been.

Piss ant.

I glared at the spot where Shisui had been standing, as if it had somehow betrayed me by not holding the man there for a second longer, before stalking inside. I never bothered knocking since the only one who really cared was Fugaku and I didn't give a shit what he thought anyway.

"Mikoto-oba, I'm here!" I called as I sat down to take off my sandals.

Instead of my aunt answering there was the pounding of someone running towards the entrance than Sasuke shouted, "What are _you_ doing here?"

I turned to give my student and youngest cousin a flat look. But before I could give a snappy comeback his mother came to greet me, "Oh good! Obito-kun is already here, now we can eat. Come, Yanagi, I made Nikujaga just for you."

Okay I had my suspicions before, but now I was certain that this whole thing was a set up. My aunt never made Nikujaga because Sasuke _hated_ sweet foods. The only time she did make it was when the family was at odds and she had been forced to play the mediator; most often between her husband and Obito or I.

No wonder Shisui didn't try to mooch a meal off of Mikoto like he normally did. He knew what was going on, the traitor.

vvv

Silence reigned supreme over the whole meal. The only people who weren't giving me dirty looks throughout dinner was Mikoto-oba and Obito, though Nii-san looked like he was constantly on the verge of laughing. At least Mikoto-oba had the decency not to bring drama to the table.

Unlike a few people I knew of.

I was the last one to finish, mostly because I was stalling for time, and as soon as I laid down my chopsticks Fugaku-sama was standing, "Yanagi, come with me." He ordered.

I exhaled a long sigh and looked at my brother sitting across from me. Obito had his silly grin on and was cheerfully waving good-bye when I looked at him. Then he stood and gathered his and Sasuke's dishes, "Mikoto-oba, let me help you." Oh so he'd help _Mikoto_ do the dishes, but left me to do all the chores at home. Jackass.

"Yanagi." Fugaku snapped when I was taking too long.

"Alright alright! Don't have a cow, I'm coming." I said defensively as I stood up and stalked after my uncle to the common meeting room.

The common meeting room opened to the outside and was closer to the living quarters of the Main House, thus making it easier to spy on. It was where most public discussions took place, or official reprimands. The private meeting room, located under the Naka shrine, was only used for serious issues; like excommunications from the clan, planning coup d'états, and–in the past when Konoha was first founded–executions.

I wasn't really surprised to find four of the eight clan Elders all sitting in a semi-circle. Fugaku waited until I was inside the room before shutting the door with an audible snap and taking his place at the apex of the arc. I barely refrained from rolling my eyes as I bowed to the Elders and knelt down on the uncomfortable tatami mats. No soft pillow for me, the jerks.

"Your condition?" The furthermost Elder sitting to the right questioned. If I remember correctly, her name was Sayako and she was not only the oldest Uchiha, but one of the oldest individuals in the village. She also happened to have a soft spot for my brother, as did most of the elderly.

I leaned over in a bow, placing my hands flat against the ground and lowered my head until my forehead brushed the tatami mat, "Honorable Elders, Clan leader… I reported to Yamanaka Asao as ordered. He has deemed me to be mentally sound, however…" At that everyone tensed. "I am to report for professional help for the next three weeks on account of anger issues and repressed emotions."

I think I heard one of the more crotchety old coots mutter something about not being all that surprised, but I couldn't tell.

Fugaku gestured for me to continue. I sat up and placed my palms flat against my thighs, "I have been cleared to resume normal duty as soon as my three weeks of suspension are up."

My uncle dipped his head and turned to the Elders, "Then the issue is solved." He said in that flat tone he used when addressing the Elders. Fugaku and I didn't get along at all. We disagreed on almost everything; but one of the sparingly few times we _did_ agree on something was that the Elders were just a bunch of bored busybodies who had nothing better to do than to bother the clan leader about trivial things.

Hibiki, a particularly nasty Elder, sputtered, "Just like that?! This gaki has nearly mentally traumatized one of our most promising genin of this generation and she gets away with a slap on the wrist?!" Funny how he made it clear that he didn't care for Sasuke as a person, just a tool to better the Uchiha clan.

"It was by the order of the Hokage that Uchiha Yanagi be able to continue as a sensei if she were to pass the mental examination." Fugaku said. There was a rustling of unease that clearly stated _exactly_ what the Elders thought of their Hokage. I breathed deeply through my nose and made sure not to stiffen up. Unrest among the Elders meant that it would soon leak out into the rest of the clan, which could possibly lead to another coup.

Sayako grumbled as she climbed to her feet, leaning heavily on her walking cane. The Elder beside her and Fugaku both jolted as if to assist her, but the spry old woman was already on her feet. "The issue is closed, as Fugaku-sama said. Complaining about it won't change a thing. I'm going to bed!" And with that the old woman hobbled past me and out the door.

We could all still hear her go from an ornery badger to a cooing grandmotherly figure. Most likely that meant that Obito was out there eavesdropping; in fact I would bet that everyone except Itachi, who would have found a much better hiding spot, was just standing outside the sliding doors.

Leave it to my brother to turn the woman said to have intimidated all Hokage from the Shodaime to the Yondaime to turn into a mushy old granny.

^o^

Anyway, if there's a lot more cussing than normal, I've been on a Red vs Blue binge and if any of you watch that web series then you understand why Yanagi is a lot more foul mouthed than normal.

_**IMPORTANT! Yeah so… I'm taking Sensei off the update schedule. Don't get me wrong, I love it to death and everything, but I just lost inspiration for the story (okay untrue, I know exactly where I want to go with the plot, I just lost the motivation to write it). **_

_**I'm not really interested in a story that will only get one review every chapter, frankly it's very discouraging. I don't expect like fifty reviews per chapter, I don't even expect ten, but I do expect more than three on a good day. I know people like this story considering that it has over 100 favorites and followers, but having only three reviewers…? **_

_**No. **_

_**I'm done with it, this story is now a 'back burner' story. Which means it will only be published whenever I find the time.**_

_**(and all of you better thank you're lucky starts for animechick1247, without her to encourage me this story would have been DISCONTINUED, but she managed to talk me out of it)**_

_**You can expect Akatsuki Senpai to take Sensei's place sometime January 2016.**_

**~One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.**

**UP NEXT!** _Keep Calm and Carry On_

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